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What is love?
-An intense feeling of deep affection
-Love comes in many forms, not just romantic or sexual. It also can be shared between different combinations of genders, races, ages, or any other factor.
Here's the thing about love, it's not simple.
A lot of factors effect who and how a person loves.
Here are some of those factors:
Whether someone is
Monogamous or not
A lot of people don't know a whole bunch about sexualities and romantic orientations other than their own or anything outside of monogamy. Understanding these things that serve as a foundation for love is vital to understand and accept other people and who or how they love.
So Let's Learn!
-Capacity of Sexual feeling
-Who a person is sexually attracted to.
Sexuality is two spectrum's: Who you are sexually attracted to and how sexual are you.
Here are some of the many sexualities
Heterosexual- Sexual attraction towards the opposite sex
Homosexual- Sexual attraction towards the same sex
Bisexual- Sexual attraction towards the same and different genders
Pansexual- Sexual attraction towards all genders
Omnisexual- Sexual attraction towards all genders
Polysexual- Sexual attraction to many genders
Skeliosexual- Sexual attraction towards non-binary people
Homoflexible- Sexual attraction strongly towards the same sex with some attraction to the opposite
Heteroflexible- Sexual attraction strongly towards the opposite sex with some attraction to the same
Fluid- Sexual attraction that flucuates
The Who of Sexual Attraction
Something equally Important: How sexual one is...
The lack of sexual attraction
-do not normally experience sexual attraction, but do experience it sometimes
-experience sexual attraction, but a low sex drive
- experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them
-people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific circumstances
Demisexual- does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone.
Lithsexual- Expirences sexual desire but does not want it reciprocated
Note: All of the above are legitimate sexualities and are not hormone unbalances, choices like celibacy or anything besides a sexuality. Someone who identifies as any of these sexualities may or may not experience romantic attraction.
Bisexuality Vs. Pansexuality
-Being attracted to the same gender and different genders.
-Bisexuals have a bad rap because of some of the pansexual community trying to legitimize their sexuality by calling bisexuals discriminatory
-Being attracted to all genders
-Much younger, newer community
-A lot of pansexuals define bisexuality wrongly to legitimize their sexuality
Note: Bisexuality and pansexuality are actually very similar. Sure they have separate definitions, but the same kind of people identify as these two sexualities.
Kinsey Scale Test
Questioning your sexuality? Great! That means you're self aware. Feelings, regardless of what gender they are directed towards, are completely natural and extremely rad. Sometimes, a quiz like the Kinsey Scale test can really help clear the fog around your sexuality. The Kinsey scale ranges from 0, for those who would identify as exclusively heterosexual, to 6, for those who would identify themselves as exclusively homosexual, and 1-5 for those who would identify themselves with varying levels of desire for sexual activity with either sex, including "incidental" or "occasional" desire for sexual activity with the same sex. Another result of the Kinsey scale is "X" which mean the person has no sexual desire, so they are asexual. Although developed in 1948, the Kinsey Scale is still a relevant and helpful resource for questioning youth. Here's a site!
Now onto romantic orientation!
Romantic orientation refers to an individual's pattern of romantic attraction based on a person's gender. This is considered distinct from sexual orientation, which refers specifically to a person patterns of sexual attraction, which is distinct from romantic attraction.
Like sexuality, you can sort of divide this orientation into two spectrums. One being who you are romantically attracted to. How cool is that?
Heteroromantic- Romantic attraction to the opposite sex
Homoromantic- Romanitc attraction to the same sex
Biromantic- Romantic attraction to both sexes
Panromantic- Romantic attraction to all genders
Polyromantic- Romantic attraction to many genders
Skelioromantic- Romantic attraction towards non-binary people
Fluid- Romantic attractions fluxuates
Abasiophilia- People with impaired mobility
Acrotomophilia- People with amputations
Agalmatophilia- Statues, mannequins and immobility
Algolagnia- Pain, particularly involving an erogenous zone; differs from masochism as there is a biologically different interpretation of the sensation rather than a subjective interpretation
Andromimetophilia- Trans men
Anililagnia- Attraction by young men to older women
Anthropophagolagnia- Sadistic paraphilia that involves raping and then cannibalizing another person.
Anthropophagy- Deriving pleasure from ingesting human flesh
Apotemnophilia- Being an amputee
Asphyxiophilia- Being asphyxiated or strangled
Attraction to disability People with one or more physical disabilities.
Autagonistophilia- Being on stage or on camera
Autassassinophilia- Being in life-threatening situations
Autoandrophilia- A biological female imagining herself as a male
Autoerotic asphyxiation- Self-induced asphyxiation, sometimes to the point of near unconsciousness
Autogynephilia- A biological man imagining himself as a female
Auto-haemofetishism- Bleeding oneself (does not involve ingestion of blood). Type of autovampirism.
Autonepiophilia- The image of one's self in the form of an infant.
Autopedophilia- The image of one's self in the form of a child.
Autoplushophilia- The image of one's self in the form of a plush or anthropomorphized animal.
Autovampirism- The image of one's self in the form of a vampire. Involves ingesting or seeing one's own blood.
Autozoophilia- The image of one's self in the form of an animal or anthropomorphized animal.
Biastophilia- Rape of an unconsenting person; see also consensual rape fantasy
Blood fetishism- Drinking or looking at blood
Chremastistophilia- Being robbed or held up
Chronophilia- Partners of a widely differing chronological age
Coprophilia- Feces; also known as scat, scatophilia or fecophilia
Dacryphilia- Tears or crying
Diaper fetishism- Diapers; considerable overlap with paraphilic infantilism
Erotic asphyxiation- Asphyxia of oneself or others
Erotophonophilia- Sexual arousal from murdering people, often complete strangers (also known as dacnolagnomania).
Exhibitionism- Exposing one's genitals to unsuspecting and nonconsenting others
Feederism- Erotic eating, feeding, and weight gain.
Podophilia- Attraction to feet
Formicophilia- Being crawled on by bugs
Forniphilia- Turning a human being into a piece of furniture
Frotteurism- Rubbing against a non-consenting person
Gerontophilia- Elderly people
Gynandromorphophilia- Transsexual or transgender women
Gynemimetophilia- Transsexual or transgender women
Heterophilia- Attraction to, fetishization, or sexualized idealization of heterosexuality and/or people who are "straight-acting," especially by non-heterosexual people.
Homeovestism- Wearing clothing emblematic of one's own sex
Hybristophilia- Criminals, particularly for cruel or outrageous crimes
Infantophilia- Pedophilia with a focus on children five years old or younger, a recently suggested term that is not in general use
Kleptophilia- Stealing; also known as kleptolagnia
Klismaphilia -Enemas, either giving or having
Lactophilia- Breast milk
Liquidophilia- Immersing genitals in liquids
Macrophilia- Fascination with or a sexual fantasy involving giants.
Maschalagnia- Attraction to the armpits
Masochism- Suffering; being beaten, bound or otherwise humiliated
Mechanophilia- Cars or other machines; also "mechaphilia."
Melolagnia- Arousal from music
Metrophilia- Arousal from poetry
Morphophilia- Particular body shapes or sizes
Mysophilia- Dirtiness, soiled or decaying things
Narratophilia- Obscene words
Navel fetishism- Sexual attraction to navels - either their own or someone else's.
Objectophilia- pronounced emotional desire towards specific inanimate objects
Oculolinctus- Licking the eyeballs
Oculophilia- A fetish of being aroused by eyes and activities directly relating to and/or involving the eyes. Seeing _______(any item) and then being aroused sexually would not meet classification for this term.
Paraphilic infantilism- Sexual arousal based on dressing or being treated like a baby, also known as autonepiophilia or "adult baby syndrome"; considerable overlap with diaper fetishism
Partialism- Specific, non-genital body parts
Pedophilia- Prepubescent children, also spelled paedophilia; often confused with hebephilia, ephebophilia, and pederasty
Peodeiktophilia- Exposing one's penis
Pedovestism- Dressing like a child
Pictophilia- Pornography or erotic art, particularly pictures
Piquerism- Sexual gratification through penetration of another person, most commonly by stabbing or cutting the body with sharp objects
Plushophilia- Sexual attraction to stuffed toy animals (Plushies).
Raptophilia- Committing rape, possibly consensual rape fantasy
Sadism- Inflicting pain on others
Salirophilia- Soiling or dirtying others
Sexual fetishism- Nonliving objects
Somnophilia- Sleeping or unconscious people
Sophophilia- Sexual arousal from learning
Sthenolagnia- Muscles and displays of strength
Stigmatophilia- Body piercings and tattoos
Symphorophilia- Witnessing or staging disasters such as car accidents
Telephone scatologia- Obscene phone calls, particularly to strangers; also known as telephonicophilia and scatophilia
Teratophilia- Deformed or monstrous people
Toucherism- Touching an unsuspecting, non-consenting person with the hand
Toxophilia- Arousal from archery
Transvestic- fetishism Wearing clothes associated with the opposite sex; also known as transvestism
Transvestophilia- A transvestite sexual partner
Troilism- Cuckoldism, watching one's partner have sex with someone else, possibly without the third party's knowledge; also known as triolism
Urolagnia- Urination particularly in public, on others, and/or being urinated on. Also referred to as "water sports"
Vampirism- Attraction to or involving blood
Vorarephilia- The idea of eating or being eaten by others; usually swallowed whole, in one piece
Voyeurism- Watching others while naked or having sex, generally without their knowledge; also known as scopophilia or scoptophilia
Zoosadism- Inflicting pain on or seeing animals in pain
Aromantic- Lack of romantic attraction
• -Do not normally experience romantic attraction, but do experience it sometimes
• -Experience romantic attraction, but a low romantic drive
• -Experience romantic attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them
• -People who can enjoy and desire romantic relationships, but only under very limited and specific circumstances
Demiromantic- Romantic attraction caused by strong emotional bond
Lithromantic- Expirences sexual desire but does not want it reciprocated
I like to think about love like this:
There is so much more than romantic love!
Tumblr invented aromanticism
No. Just no. Poeple have seeked nothing further than plantonic love since the dawn of time and that's totally alright. Sure, the support and visibility Tumblr has provided has helped questioning individuals realize their lack of romantic attraction is actually a thing, but people who don't even use Tumblr are aromantic
All aromantics are asexual!
Wrong! Just like the fact that not all asexuals are aromantic, some aromantics can have healthy, sexual relationships without romantic obligation attacted. And they aren't pigs! It's not their fault that romance doesn't tickle their fancy, and some sexy time does!
Aromantics are heartless
Being aromantic doesn't mean you don't ever feel love! There are a whole bunch of other kinds of love like love for a friend, or family member, or your qeer-platonic-life-partner! Isn't that rad?
Aromanticism is a choice
Just like asexuality, aromanticism isn't a choice. Asexuality isn't celibacy, or waiting for the right person. The same goes for Aromanticism.
Aromaniticism is a medical condition
Just because someone doesn't want to live out a Nicolas Sparks novel, doesn't mean their is something medically wrong about them. It's not a hormone inbalnace, just like asexuality!
Romanticism was an artistic, literary, and intellectual movement that originated in Europe toward the end of the 18th century and in most areas was at its peak in the approximate period from 1800 to 1850. Partly a reaction to the Industrial Revolution, it was also a revolt against the aristocratic social and political norms of the Age of Enlightenment and a reaction against the scientific rationalization of nature. It was embodied most strongly in the visual arts, music, and literature, but had a major impact on historiography, education and the natural sciences. Its effect on politics was considerable and complex; while for much of the peak Romantic period it was associated with liberalism and radicalism, its long-term effect on the growth of nationalism was probably more significant. Just want to make sure you know that era was not about kisses and Romeo and Juliet. Sorry I couldn't resist!
You know what is super rad? Everyone has both a romantic orientation and a sexual orientation. They don't always match up (like bisexual/biromantic compared to homosexual/lithromantic) and romantic orientations aren't just for asexuals. They're for everyone!
When I say relationship
structure I'm referring to whether a relationship is monogamous, polyamorous, polygamist, polyandrous or whatever! All of which are super duper cool!