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Family Life cycle and conflicts in the family
Transcript of Family Life cycle and conflicts in the family
Family life cycle
The idea of the family life cycle is based on the notion that families, like everything else, go through a process from birth through growth to decline and death. A useful way of conceptualizing the family life cycle is to look at ways that families must alter their attitudes and relationships in order to adapt to the changes.
Characterized by adults moving up a generation and becoming caretakers of a younger generation.- There is a decrease in mutual activities- Individual differences become more evident- Strong decrease of sexual activity (Dr John Barletta, 2009)
The seventh stage of the family life cycle model is concerned with the transition of young adult children out of the parental home.
Families with adolescents must establish qualitatively different boundaries than families with younger children( Quinn et al, 1985)
Now Boundaries should be permeable
Parents can no longer maintain complete authority
Failure to do so leads conflicts
Developmental tasks required of the family:
Resolving midlife issues
Negotiating adult-to-adult relationships with children
Adjusting to living as a couple again
Adjusting to including in-laws and grandchildren within the family circle
Dealing with disabilities and death in the family of origin
One of the longest phases
Gould(1981) assumptions and belief systems learned withinthe family of origin are challenged in a gradual way over the course of adulthood, and this process reaches a resolution in midlife
Exits from the family is also of the older parents of the couple often becoming ill and dying.
Men and Women experience phase differently.(Gilligan,1983;Miller,1976)
Studies done on parental ambivalence and marital satisfaction over life cycles
Possible interventions and counseling
Dealing with the family of origin issues
Prescribing rituals and setting alternate communication pattern for the couple.
Addressing of issues of differentiation
Kinds of conflicts and problems that may arise
Conflicts between the married dyad
Conflicts between parents and children
Developing a way to live together based on reality rather than mutual projection
Realigning relationships with families of origin and peers to include spouses
Common causes for conflict
Lack of consideration, respect, or appreciation
Lack of open affection or public acknowledgment of love
Fear of intimacy
Wanting partners to change
Believing that being in love means you can say or do anything to your partner
Andrey (1966) and Malmberg (1980).
the author of The Territorial Imperative, instinct-driven territorial functioning among humans,
But Sack (1986) strongly challenged the views of Andrey and Malmberg.
power to control people and things by controlling an area.
Causes of Parent-adolescent conflicts
Types of family relation.
Destruction of family education
Children’ age crises
Factors of personality
Types of parent- adolescent conflicts and adolescents reactions
Conflict of over-care (excessive guardianship and extreme expectations)
Conflict of disrespect of independence rights (totality of instructions and control)
Conflict of paternal authority (aspiration to get his own back in a conflict at any cost).
Reaction of opposition
Reaction of refusal
Reaction of isolation
Marital conflict and family conflict
Conflict is just not a difference of opinion, it is a series of events that have been poorly handled so as to deeply damage the marriage relationship and relationships within the family.
Difficulties in meeting each of these needs may lead to specific types of problems, all of which may become a focus for family therapy (Reder & Lucey, 1995; Reder, McClure & Jolley, 2000; Reder, Duncan & Lucey, 2004).
Marital Dyad- Conflicts in dividing responsibility- Two pay check conflicts
Parenting- Struggle in taking responsibility- Acceptance of generational boundary- Difficulty in setting limits
Issues faced by chidren- Difficulties in making and maintaining friendships- “The unpopular child”
Grandparents- Transitional conflicts: from being central parental figures to taking a back seat.
Adolescent is a time when a person is torn by conflicting
One hand eagerness of freedom and on other hand wanting someone behind to support and take care
As a result, adolescents’ strained necessities of autonomy and self-determination usually lead to various conflicts in the family
Territory in new couple relationship
Attention v/s Refuge:
Use of object
One’s own thoughts and feelings Body
Unfulfilled sex life.
Financial instability issues.
Inability to forgive mistake.
Problems with in-laws and family involvement .
Inability to fight fairly or. deal with anger .
Inability to communicate effectively.
Inflexible gender roles
Wanting partners to change
Communication skills building
Specifying gender role in the family
Highlighting the strength of the couples
words and phrases that might indicate blaming or shaming the other.
what you mean
the positive minimize the negative
to identify the real problem
assertive not aggressive
Make sure both of you understand the other’s position.
Such an exploration of the family life cycle will help the counselor assess a family's functioning in a broader context and better understand the families strength and problems.
Although it is important for such a perspective for better understanding it is also important to look others aspects
Within the model there still might be variations depending on the cultural context which is not addressed here
Studies are required in the Indian context.
Parenting styles and their role in adolescence development
Baumrind's theory of parenting style
Authoritative: responsible, independent
Authoritarian: dependent, anxious
Liberal style: absence of rules, restrictions, plenty of freedom
Making Flexible Boundary
Parental interpersonal conflicts
Marital satisfaction drops during the child-rearing years and satisfaction is highest before children are born and when they leave home. (Newman & Newman, 2003)
This family life cycle stage has the highest rate of divorce(Carter, McGoldrick, 2000)
Adjusting marital system to make space for children
Adopting parenting roles
The development of parenting roles involves the couple establishing routines for meeting children’s needs for:
• safety• care• control• intellectual stimulation
Joining in child rearing, financial and house hold tasks
Realigning relationships with families of origin to include parenting and grand parenting roles
Children developing peer relationships
Family - Setting Boundaries: Strengthening the couple subsystem
Couple- Psycho-education- Behaviour contracting- Exploration of roles, family of origin - Division of responsibility- Ritual prescription
Children- Multisystemic family therapy - Social Skills Training- Remedial tuition and study skills training can be used to promote academic attainment