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Transcript of Abstinence
for Your Actions
Understanding the Risks and Consequences
As you grow up you have to make
many decisions and accept the consequences
of those decisions.
As you show your parents and other adults
you can be trusted to make responsible choices,
you may be rewarded with more freedom.
More freedom means more responsibility!
The more you show your parents you can be trusted, the more trust you develop.
If you break that trust, you lose ground
and must rebuild your parents' trust in you.
Having Self Respect
When you have self-respect,
you don't take unnecessary risks,
such as participating in activities
that could harm you.
Don't be tempted to engage in
A boyfriend or girlfriend may
want you to engage in sexual activity.
In these instances you need to exercise
self-control, or restraint from your own
emotions and desires.
Making Wise Decisions
Using the decision making
process can help you choose
to avoid unhealthful behaviors.
Should I stay at a party where
drugs are being offered, should I
stay or go?
Keep in mind that you can
control your own body and the choices
you make. Responsible choices, such as practicing
abstinence until marriage, will help you avoid negative
consequences and stay healthy.
In the US over 1 million
teens become parents
each year. The majority
of these teens are unmarried,
and the pregnancies are unintended.
Pregnancy can occur even
the first time two people
have sexual intercourse.
Teen parents often give up
their education and social life
to support and care for their child.
Becoming a parent is a lifelong
responsibility that most teens
are not ready or able to accept.
Restraining from sexual activity
is the only 100% effective way
to avoid pregnancy. Abstinence is healthy,
safe, and always reliable.
Sexually Transmitted Infections
It only takes one sexual
encounter to contract an STI.
A person with an STI may
not have any obvious symptoms,
or signs that a disease is present,
for a long period of time.
The person can then spread the
STI to a sexual partner. Untreated
STI's can damage the heart, brain,
liver, and other organs. They can also damage
the reproductive system, leaving a person unable to
have children. Some STI's can cause blindness, deafness,
HIV, or human immunodeficiency
virus, is the virus that causes AIDS.
AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency
syndrome) is a deadly disease that
destroys the body's ability to
Some STI's, including HIV/AIDS, genital herpes,
and human papilloma virus (HPV) - are incurable. No
treatment is currently available to rid a person's
body of the infection. In addition, AIDS almost
always causes death.
For many teens, sexual
activity before marriage
goes against their moral
or religious beliefs. If these teens
do decide to become sexually active
anyway, they often feel guilty.
Some teens have
sexual intercourse in an
effort to feel loved or accepted.
These teens usually end up feeling
disappointed when they
realize that sexual activity does
not result in love or respect and
Because most parents and
guardians disapprove, sexually
active teens may find themselves
lying to cover their behavior.
Lose trust and respect from parents.
Disapproval of peers.
Clear-head and consider decisions carefully.
Without a clear-head - it's nearly impossible
to make responsible choices. Drugs and alcohol
should be avoided.
Abstain Now - No Pain Later
No excuses! Take
It's easier to abstain
from high-risk behaviors NOW than
to stop LATER!
Healthy Alternatives to
Start a physical activity program
Devote more time to academics
Learn a new skill
Volunteer in your community
Take up a new hobby
Find ways to earn money
Try a new sport
Keep a journal
Making Responsible Decisions
A decision is an act
of making a choice.
The consequences of your
decisions can change your life forever.
What Influences Decisions?
How Can I Make Responsible Decisions?
1) State the Situation
2) List the Options
3) Weigh the Outcomes
H - Is it healthful?
E - Is it ethical?
L - Is it legal?
P - Would my parents approve?
4) Consider Your Values
5) Make a Decision and Act
6) Evaluate the decision
Relationships During the Teen Years
What is a relationship?
Connections we have with other people
in our lives.
They allow us to share joy, sadness,
a heart, love, hopes and dreams.
Different Kinds of Relationships
All relationships have the 3 C's:
Family: It's harder to talk
to parents the older you get.
Friends: Friends change, be careful
what you share
Healthy relationships have mutual
respect for yourself and others.
For many people, the teen years
are a time to begin dating. However,
not all teens are ready for dating.
There is no need to start dating
just because your friends are
doing it and you think it's expected
In fact, the longer you wait to date,
the more confident and prepared
you will feel.
Communicating and having common goals,
similar, interests, beliefs, and values
also contribute to a solid relationship.
You may have heard that sexual
behavior is a human instinct. That is
a true statement. An instinct is a natural
tendency or an impulse to respond in a
Unlike other animals, humans
have the ability to use logic
Sexual activity and
intimacy are different.
Intimacy is the closeness
between two people over time.
When sexual activity is
introduced into a
relationship, especially involving teens,
the relationship can drastically change.
Most teens are not emotionally
mature enough to handle the
adult responsibilities that come with
a sexual relationship.
Example: Guilt, regret, pregnancy,
and sexually transmitted infections
put a great deal of stress on teens.
In addition, sexual activity can
become the focus of the relationship.
The couple may lose sight of the other,
more important aspects of the
relationship, such as respect, caring,
friendship, and trust.
Relationships actually become
stronger without a sexual
focus because two people
take time to get to know
Making Decisions about Relationships
During your teens years you
may begin to experience feelings
of love and physical attraction
toward another person.
Making Wise Choices
Think about your family values.
You should make choices that
are based on positive values
(respect and responsibility).
Consider consequences of
your decisions for yourself
When faced with making decisions
about dating, consider your parents
views as well as yours.
You should talk with your
parents (age of dating, curfew,
going out with groups of people)
As you get older, you may
find yourself attracted to another person.
You may want to show affection.
Some healthy ways to show affection:
- hugging gently and holding hands
- doing something nice for the other person
- giving compliments
- writing poems or letters
- giving cards or small gifts
- helping the other person without being asked
- encouraging the other person to do his/her best
Types of Decisions: Passive and Active
Avoiding High-Risk Situations
attend parties only when adults are present
never consume alcohol or drugs
date people who are the same age as you
go on group dates
set clear limits on physical contact
date people who do not focus on drugs or sexual activiy
choose friends who practice abstinence from alcohol and drug use and from sexual activity
choose entertainment activities that do not promote drug use or sexual permissiveness
Passive: others make choices for you
Active: you stay in control of your life and health
Have you ever made a decision without saying a word
Not saying anything is the same as saying yes
That's how teens "let sexual activity happen". Although they didn't
say yes, they didn't say no. They let others take control because
they didn't make an active decision to be abstinent.
You don't let others pressure you into doing things that are against your values.
When you make an active decision to remain abstinent until marriage, you choose to avoid high-risk situations and behaviors.
When making active decisions, you show yourself respect!
Doing What's Right
Not all decisions are easy to make.
You may be torn between doing what's
right and doing what you want to do.
Think about what's important to you,
and the right choices become clear.
What Should I Look For?
has interests similar to yours
respects your values and decisions
encourages you to always do your best
does not use alcohol or other drugs
does not put you down or hurt you in any way
is not controlling or aggresive
chooses to remain abstinent
Matching Game Activity
Communication: The Key to
The Responsible Decision
Effective communication skills will help you build healthy relationships.
What is abstinence?
When you share your feelings, beliefs, concerns, and goals, you get to know other people and grow closer to them.
Effective communication skills will also help you express your opinions and life choices.
Abstinence means refraining from high-risk behaviors.
Wait until you are married.
Allows you to focus your energy on setting and achieving life goals and dreams.
You will not experience negative feelings such as worry, guilt, disappointment, and rejection.
Allows you to experience genuine feelings, such as trust and love, and develop deep friendships.
You will not have to worry about an unplanned pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections.
Three Ingredients for Effective Communication:
Your tone matters.
Listening skills are important to building healthy relationships.
Use "I" messages.
Abstinence and You
List your goals and dreams.
Identify an adult to share.
Talk with this adult.
Tips for Good Communication:
Don't do all the talking.
Pay attention to your listener.
Don't send mixed messages.
Try to be positive.
Make eye contact.
Communicating Your Choices:
Express your choices.
Stick to your decisions.
Be honest and direct.
Make sure your body language reinforces your words.
Stand behind your beliefs.
Practicing Refusal Skills
The Need to Belong
Everyone wants to be part of a group - family, church, clubs, teams
Belonging is a very strong need during teen years
Therefore - teens will go along with a group even if it is not always the right thing to do
Peers may try to push you into doing what they want, not what you want or what is best and right.
Be prepared to avoid negative pressures
A high-risk situation like a party or other event - choose not to attend
Think about your values - do what is right for you
Find friends with similar values - support and encourage each other
Ask for advice - talk to a parent or trusted adult
Plan ahead - have a plan ready when peers try to pressure you
Saying Yes to Friendship
You can say no to a friend's behavior without losing the friend
When you say no in a positive way, you show that you still value and respect your friend
Ways to Say No
There are three ways to say no:
This is not an effective way to say no. This often turns into a yes because the person doesn't stand up for his/her values.
Passive people give in very easily to peer pressure.
This is another way that is not effective. This often includes anger and shows the person has little respect for others' opinions. This method can offend other people and make them feel as if they are being attacked. The other person might say something hurtful back or decide to stay away from that friend.
This is the best way to say no. This way lets you express your right to make your own decisions in a firm, but positive way. This way does not insult or blame others.
Resist the Pressure
Sometimes you can't avoid a bad situation
Be firm when you refuse
Explain your reasons, but don't apologize
Avoid putting down the other person
Suggest an another plan that isn't risky