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Love and Logic

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Sara Harmston

on 4 April 2013

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Transcript of Love and Logic

Love & Logic Jim Fay Co-Founder of the Love and Logic Institute

31 years of experience as a teacher, principal, and administrator in public, private, and parochial schools "Some people are uncomfortable when I bring up love in education . . . But I started out as a parent and a teacher with lots of lecturing, threats, rewards, and punishments - and they didn't work." Foster W. Cline Co-Founder of the Love and Logic Institute



Adult and child psychiatrist, specializing in attachment and bonding in children, the gifted and talented child, parenting and child management, classroom behavior management, and communication systems and patterns "Helping raise responsible kids since 1977" What is Love and Logic? Love and Logic has many tools that promote healthy parent/teacher and teacher/student relationships and positive school wide discipline. 9 Essential Skills of Love and Logic:

1. Neutralize Arguing
2. Delayed Consequences
3. Empathy
4. The Recovery Process
5. Develop Positive Relationships
6. Set Limits With Enforceable Statements
7. Use Choices to Prevent Power Struggles
8. Quick and Easy Interventions
9. Guide Students to Own and Solve Their Problems Why Does it Work? When the student has to a solve problem, they have to think Students learn that decisions have consequences Students learn to think before they cause a problem The student learns to ask, “How is my behavior going to affect me?” Classroom
Expectations
Example: Example One-Liners Neutralize Arguing Go brain dead (don't allow yourself to "think" about the situation, otherwise you might react in a way you could later regret)

Choose a one-liner that is appropriate for the situation

Do not attempt to think, choose a one-liner and become a broken record

If student continues to argue use another one-liner, a student won’t argue long with no audience Step 1: Step 2: Step 4: Step 3: Delayed
Consequences Problems with Immediate Consequences:
teacher is forced to react while both teacher and student are upset
teacher "owns" the problem rather than handing it back to the student
teachers often end up making threats they can't back up “Oh no. This is so sad. I’m going to have to do something about this! But not now...later. Try not to worry about it.” The Delayed Consequence allows the teacher time to “anticipate” whose support they might need, the student's reaction, and how to make sure that he/she can actually follow through with a logical consequence. This Love and Logic technique also allows the child to “anticipate” or worry about a wide array of possible consequences. EMPATHY 1. Always deliver consequences to students with genuine empathy

2. Keep it SHORT, SWEET, SIMPLE, and REPETITIVE

3. Avoid sarcasm, it will ruin the moment and the relationship

4. sad not mad, Sad Not Mad, SAD NOT MAD The Recovery Process IS NOT... a time-out for misbehaving students
a process to force students to do their homework
designed to help cure students of emotional problems IS... used to minimize a student's ability to interfere with teaching/learning
a time for students to "get themselves back together" DO NOT SEND WORK WITH STUDENTS TO DO DURING RECOVERY Develop Positive Relationships Focus on student's nonacademic strengths and interests NEVER embarrass the student Always listen to students and don't give advice unless asked Don't try and talk to a student when he/she is upset Set Limits With Enforceable Statements "I'll listen as soon as your voice is as calm as mine." Examples of Setting Limits:
"I'll be working from pg. 17"
"I only teach when it is quiet." Limits are enforced when the teacher does not engage in arguments about the limits. Use Choices to Prevent
Power Struggles Never give students a choice on an issue that might cause a problem

For each choice, give only 2 options

If the student doesn't decide in 10 seconds, decide for him/her

Only give choices that fit within your value system "Would you like to go to recess on time or late?" "Should this paper be due on Thursday or Friday?" "Can you stay with us and stop that, or do you need to leave and come back when you are calm?" Quick and Easy Interventions Interventions are intended to be preventative and help teachers be proactive in their classroom discipline.

Interventions can be used to keep problems from getting too big to handle.

Quick and easy interventions should be used whenever possible rather than sending students to the principle or using other consequences for everything. Examples:
give the student the "evil eye"
stand close to the student
use an I-message
teacher sets limits providing what he/she allows, without telling students what to do about it
Remove student from group to recovery 1. Empathy "How sad!"
"I bet that hurts." 2. Send the power message "What do you think you are going to do?" 3. Offer choices 4. Have student state the consequence of their choice 5. Give permission for the student to solve the problem "Would you like to hear what other students have tried?" "And how would that work?" "Good luck, I hope it works out!" Guide Students to Own and Solve Their Problems Strengths •Gives students choices and empowers them
Sets limits without anger from teacher
Immediately handles disruptive students
Helps students own and solve their own problems
Gives teacher options for dealing with unwanted behaviors
Structured without being scripted
Includes strategies for students with special needs Weaknesses Some examples can seem manipulative
Doesn’t work for all students
Inappropriate one-liners
Overuse of repetitive one-liners
Recovery process sends students away from learning environment Students learn self control Classroom Expectations
1. Feel free to do anything that does not cause a problem for anyone else.
2. I teach when there are no distractions or other problems.
3. I listen to students who raise their hand.
4. I listen to one person at a time.
5. Please treat me with the same respect I treat you.
6. If someone causes a problem, I will do something.
7. What I do will depend on what happened and what the person is willing to do to solvethe problem. "I respect you too much to argue."
"I know."
"Probably so."
"Nice try."
"I bet it feels that way."
"What do you think you are going to do?" "Bummer, how sad."
"Thanks for sharing that."
"Don't worry about it now."
"What do you think I think about that?" Sources Lewis Center:
http://www.lewiscenter.org/documents/AAE/Love%20and%20Logic/Teaching/Teaching%20With%20Love%20-%20Logic.pdf Love and Logic:
http://www.loveandlogic.com/educators.html
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