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Orientation: A Guide

A brief overview of gender identity, and sexual and romantic orientations, as well as some helpful tips and links. Enjoy.
by

Shona H

on 14 March 2015

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Transcript of Orientation: A Guide

Orientation: A Guide
Resources
"Allies"
Allies do not 'need' a flag, and the one displayed is for the traditional Gay-Straight Alliance.
Ally should apply to everyone, regardless of orientation
Ally is not a term restricted to those who identify as the combination of cisender, heterosexual, and heteroromantic that is considered normative by society
Cisgender
Someone who identifies as Cisgender is content with the gender with which they were assigned at birth and their gender identity matches this
Bisexual & Biromantic
Bisexual: A person who experiences sexual attraction towards both their own gender and one other gender
Biromantic: an individual who feels romantic attraction towards both members of their own gender and one another gender
Demiguy
Intersex
An intersex individual bares the characteristics of both a male and a female at birth
Genderqueer
Genderqueer is an umbrella term for all those who identify as something outside of the gender binary
Grey-sexual & Grey-romantic
A Grey-sexual individual identifies somewhere between asexual and sexual
A Grey-romantic individual identifies somewhere between aromantic and romantic
Pansexual & Panromantic
Gendervoid
Generally considered to be another term for agender
It is, however, often described as being entirely devoid of gender
Originally used to mean the same thing as 'genderless'
Gendervoid people may still use him/her pronouns- and it does not make their identity invalid
Bigender
Demisexual & Demiromantic
A Demisexual is someone who does not/cannot experience sexual attraction until an emotional bond has been formed with someone
A Demiromantic individual is someone who does not or can't feel romantic attractin towards someone until a emotional connection has been formed with them
Androsexual & Androromantic
Androsexual/Androromantic means that you experience sexual/romantic feelings towards masculinity or males

The term generally applies to the genderqueer, as they find it far easier to use a genderneutral term for their attraction
Non-Binary
Non Binary is an umbrella term that encompasses all gender identities that are not a part of the gender binary (male/female)
Akoisexual & Akoiromantic

Akoiromantic is feeling romantic attraction towards someone but having these feelings fade once/if they are reciprocated
Asexual
An Asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction/desire.
A homosexual individual is sexually attracted towards members of their own gender, while a homoromantic individual is only romantically attracted to people of the same gender
Polysexual & Polyromantic
Genderfluid
Polygender
Someone who identifies as several genders at once or switching between the number
Requiessexual & Requiesromantic
Requiessexual/Requiesromantic individuals experience a lack of or limited sexual/romantic attraction due to some emotional drain
Aromantic
Aromantics are not incapable of affection
Aromantics do not 'hate' people
Aromantics do exist
People can be homosexual, bisexual etc. and still be aromantic because romantic and sexual attraction are different concepts
Heterosexual & Heteroromantic
Heterosexual individuals are attracted to members of the opposite gender
Heteroromantic people are romantically attracted to people of the opposite gender
Recipsexual & Recipromantic
Queer
Agender
Someone who does not indentify as any gender, or feels an absence of gender
Sites
http://www.asexuality.org/home/ (asexuality)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/ariel/29991877 (transgender)
http://www.beaumont-trust.org.uk (transgender)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/06/hillary-clinton-gay-rights-speech-geneva_n_1132392.html?ref=mostpopular (gay rights)
https://www.genderspectrum.org (gender)
http://www.homophobiaday.org (against homophobia)
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/pages/about-it-gets-better-project/ (all orientations)
http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk (transgender)
http://www.wegiveadamn.org/stories/ (all orientations)
http://community.pflag.org (LGBTQ)
http://www.qmunity.ca ('Queer' community)
http://www.hrc.org/resources/category/coming-out (coming out)
http://gendercreativekids.ca (gender)
Coming Out: Tips
Be sober
Be in a non-confrontational situation (i.e. not during an argument or to hurt someone)
Be in a stable environment (not a moving vehicle, for example)
It's a good idea to come out to people one by one
Come out by yourself, not with a partner at your side in case of negative response
Set aside some time, as there will probably be questions
Know the definition of your orientation
Know what it means for you to be your orientation
Be aware that they may already know
Remember that some people will never be supportive
Suicide Hotlines and Help Sites
Short Films
Agender
Aromantic
Akoisexual/Akoiromantic
Allies
Asexual
Bigender
Bisexual/Biromantic
Demisexual/Demiromantic
Demigirl
Demiboy
Androsexual/Androromantic
Genderfluid
Genderqueer
Gendervoid
Grey- sexual/Grey-romantic
Heterosexual/Heteroromantic
Homosexual/Homoromantic
Intersex
Non-Binary
Neutrois
Polysexual/Polyromanic
Platinoromantic
Polygender
Pansexual
Quoiromantic
Requiessexual
Recipsexual/Recipromantic
Trigender
Transgender
Coming Out: Tips for Parents
The worst thing a parent can say to their kid who is coming out is “we didn’t raise you to be like this”
Ask your child to explain what their orientation is if you don't know what it is- "tell me more about what this means"
Avoid negative phrasing
If your religion says you cannot accept your child for being as they are, it's the religion you need to get rid of, not the child
"I'm glad you felt safe enough to tell me" is good phrasing
"Why didn't you say anything sooner" might put them on the defensive
Be welcoming, smile.
Ask who they've told- do they want it to be a secret for now? Is there anything you can do to help?
Demigirl
Homosexual & Homoromantic
Trigender
A Trigender individual identifies with three genders.
Transgender
A transgender's gender identity does not match their assigned gender at birth
Asexuality is not a requirement for identifying as agender
Some Agender people tend not to go by he/she pronounds- use 'they' unless otherwise specified
It is possible to get surgery to 'nullify' gender
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Agender
http://hellyeahagender.tumblr.com/faq
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Agender
a.k.a. genderblank, gendervoid, genderless
Someone who experiences little or no romantic attraction
http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Aromantic
http://aromanticadvice.tumblr.com
http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Aromantic_FAQ
Akoisexual is feeling sexual attraction towards someone but having those feelings fade once/if they are reciprocrated
Akoisexuals/romantics are not doing this 'for attention', nor are they doing this with the intention of 'getting someone's hopes up'
http://ianthe.tumblr.com/post/90231527886/sexual-romantic-orientations-gender-identities
Asexuals may experience sexual desire, but generally with a frequency or intensity that makes it ignorable.
Asexuality is not the same as Celibacy or Abstinence
Asexuals are not cold or loveless- they may still experience romantic attraction
Asexuals are not necessarily asexual because they have experienced sexual abuse/mental illness
http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/10/5-myths-and-misconceptions-about-asexuality/
http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.html
'The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality' by Julie Sondra Decker
Androsexuality/Androromantic, when it is an attraction towards masculinity, is regardless of gender orientation, so androsexuals may be attracted to transgender individuals or non-binary people as well, provided they display masculine traits
http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Androsexual
http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2013/01/a-comprehensive-list-of-lgbtq-term-definitions/
Allies is simply a label applied to anyone who unconditionally supports all sexual, romantic, and gender orientations
Bisexual/Biromantic is not the same thing as Pansexual/Panromantic
People who identify as such are not confused, and do not need to 'choose' one gender to be attracted to
Bisexuals/Biromantics may be more attracted to one gender than the other, but they are still Bi.
http://bisexual.org
http://bisexuality.wikia.com/wiki/Bi-romantic
http://www.biresource.net/whatis.shtml
http://www.bisexualindex.org.uk/index.php/bisexuality
Cisgender applies to the binary genders (male/female)
When is it said that the gender identity and expression match up, it means masculine/male and feminine/female
'Assigned Gender' is what is meant when a child is born and the nurse says "It's a Girl."
Assigned Gender is usually synonymous with biological sex at birth
http://time.com/3636430/cisgender-definition/
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Cisgender
A Bigender individual identifies as two genders, either at once, or fluctuating between the two
http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Demisexual
http://www.demisexuality.org/whatisdemisexuality.html
http://www.thedebrief.co.uk/2015/03/are-you-demisexual
Demisexuals/Demiromantics do not have an 'incomplete' sexuality
Individuals who identify as such fall somewhere on the spectrum between sexuality and asexuality, and can thus call on the identifier of gray-sexual, or gray-romantic
Demisexuality/Demiromanticism is not gender specific
A genderfluid individual fluctuates their gender identity- sometimes day to day, sometimes more or less frequently.
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Genderqueer
http://genderqueerid.com
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Genderqueer
http://genderqueerid.com/what-is-gq
Genderqueer individuals tend to reject gender roles and may vary their pronoun choices
Genderqueer encompasses Bigender, Trigender, Demiguy/girl, Agender, Neutrois, and Non-Binary, as well as several others
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Agender
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Agender
http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Agender
Gendervoid individuals feel a distinct lack of gender, often likened to a void of space
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_Fluid
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Genderfluid
Genderfluidity can fall under the umbrella terms of 'transgender', 'nonbinary', and 'multigender'
Invididuals may fluctuate between identities, identifying as more than one gender at once or simply switching frequently
Gender neutral terms may be preferred, although it depends on the person
Neutrois
Platinoromantic
Bigender individuals desire a body with traits from two genders at once
These two genders are not necessarily male and female
Bigender is not when the inner thoughts of a person do not match their physical gender
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Bigender
http://www.bigender.net
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/it-hit-two-genders-bizarre-4545477
A Demiguy is a person who- regardless of birth gender- only identifies partly as a man
The other part of a Demiguy's identity is not necessarily female.
It could be another gender, or the individual could feel genderless or agender
Demiguy individuals may only identify partly with masculinity rather than male as a gender
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Demiguy
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Demiguy
A Demigirl is an individual who only partly identifies with the gender female or with femininity
Demigirls do not necessarily identify as partly female and partly male
They may identify as another gender or as agender
This doesn't necessarily only apply to those who were assigned the binary gender 'female' at birth
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Demigirl
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Demigirl
http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/55798-definitions-master-list/
Grey-sexuals may experience sexual attraction only very rarely- or quite often yet not want to act on it
Grey-sexuals may only have a low sex drive, or only rarely enjoy sex
Grey-romantics may feel romantic attraction, but at an intensity so low they can ignore it
Grey-romantics may feel romantic attraction, but only under specific circumstances
http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Gray-A_/_Grey-A
http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.html
Male homosexuals are known as 'gay'
Female homosexuals are known as 'lesbian'
The Netherlands was the first country to legalise homosexual marriage
Pride (2014)
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/publications-a-z/726-i-think-i-might-be-gay-now-what-do-i-do
https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/homosexuality
The combination of Heteroromantic and Heterosexual is considered to be the standard in human culture
Heteronormativity is the state of assumption by which a person sees all individuals as being 'Hetero' or 'straight' when seeing/meeting them
This orientation applies solely to the binary genders- male attracted to female and female to male
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/heterosexual
Relatives
http://www.isna.org/faq/what_is_intersex
http://www.sbs.com.au/news/thefeed/story/intersex-i-lgbti
Intersex refers to the characteristics of the gender binary
Many intersex individuals have these characteristics altered at birth upon the decision of parents/doctors
An intersex person may have what is known as 'mosaic chromosomes', meaning that they have XY and XX chromosomes in their body
Intersex individuals may also have genetalia that does not fit the atypical view thereof, or the inner reproductive organs of one gender and the outer of the other
Intersex may identify as any gender.
Up to 2% of the population is affected by this
http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/12/myths-non-binary-people/
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Nonbinary_gender
http://nonbinary-support.tumblr.com
http://genderqueerid.com/gq-terms
Gender identities that fall under the term non-binary include Neutrois, Transgender, Agender, Demigirl/guy, and Bi/Tri-gender
Non-Binary individuals may use gender neutral pronouns (they, ze, hir) or Mx (pronounced Mux) to identify themselves
Pansexuals/Panromantics are sexually/romantically attracted to people regardless of gender identity or physical appearance
This orientation is also known as omnisexual, with omni and pan both meaning 'all'
Pansexuals/Panromanics can be attracted to the gender binary as well as transgenders and other non-binary identities
http://www.livescience.com/41163-pansexual-sexual-orientation-pansexuality.html
http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/11/pansexuality-101/
http://neutrois.com
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Neutrois
http://neutrois.me/about/
Neutrois is a gender identity falling under the genderqueer and nonbinary term, often considered to be synonymous with agender or genderless
The definition of Neutrois differs from person to person- there is a huge spectrum within the term
It is often known as 'gender neutral'
Agender, gendervoid, and genderless are recognised as being similar to this identity
Polysexual/Polyromantic is defined as someone who is attracted to several genders/gender identities- more than two- but not to all
Queer is an umbrella term for anything outside the normal
cisgender
heterosexual
heteroromantic
identities. Some view it as being a derogatory term because of its negative use in the past- generally as a degrading insult
Queer means anything that is not viewed as 'normal'
Use with care
These people may be attracted to the physical aspects of a gender or to the masculine/feminine/adrogynous traits the person displays
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Polysexuality
http://queersunited.blogspot.ch/2008/08/word-of-gay-polysexuality.html
Platinoromantic individuals see no distinction between romantic and platonic relationships

As an orientation, platinoromantic falls somewhere on the aromantic spectrum
Individuals identifying as such do not distinguish between platonic relationships and romantic ones
A platonic relationship is intimate and affectionate but not sexual or romantic
http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/104696-platoniromantic/
http://aromantics.wikia.com/wiki/Idemromantic
Polygender do not necessarily have to have male and female amongst the genders they identify as
They may fluctuate completely between genders or simply feel a change in the strength of their identification with one or more genders
Some Polygenders take hormones or get operations, but this isn't mandatory
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Polygender
http://www.polygender.co.uk/polygenfaq.htm
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Trigender
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Trigender
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trigender
Trigender individuals may fluctuate between genders based upon mood or traits connecting with the genders, or they may identify as all genders at once, yet sometimes one may feel stronger than another
Trigender falls under the umbrella term of non-binary
http://ianthe.tumblr.com/post/90231527886/sexual-romantic-orientations-gender-identities
http://mogaiarchive.tumblr.com/post/96644400865/requiessexual-requiesromantic
Emotional drain may come from
Depression, anxiety, or other mental illness
Previous romantic/sexual relationships
Traumatical experience (PTSD etc.)
http://ianthe.tumblr.com/post/90231527886/sexual-romantic-orientations-gender-identities
http://asexualityexists.tumblr.com/post/89051539061/hyaenahart-okay-so-the-aro-ace-spectrum-really
Recipsexual/Recipromantics do not experience sexual/romantic attraction until they are aware that someone feels sexually/romantically attracted to them
http://www.glaad.org/transgender/trans101
http://www.advocate.com/politics/transgender
Surgery and hormones are available for gender alteration and, though it can be expensive, it's highly effective
Many transgenders change names and/or personal pronouns, and it's respectful to call them by their new name/pronouns
Transgender
Homosexuality and Heterosexuality
(Warning: Self Harm, Bullying, and Attempted Suicide)
Transgender
Asexuality
Bisexuality
Love has no labels
United States: 1-800-273-8255
United Kingdom: 0857-90-90-90
Canada: 514-723-4000
Australia: 1-800-817-569
Brazil: 21-233-9191
China: 852-2382-000
Guatemala: 502-252-1259
Portugal: 239-72-10-10
Italy: 06-7045-4444
Mexico: 525-510-2550
New Zeland: 4-473-9739
Ireland: 1850-60-90-90
Russia: 8-20-222-82-10
Sweden: 031-711-2400
Switzerland: 143
Thailand: 02-249-9977
Trinidad and Tobango: 868-645-2800
Ukraine: 0487-327715 or 0482-226565
France: 01-45-39-40-00
Belgium: 02-649-95-55
Netherlands: 0900-0767
South Africa: 0861-322-322
Austria: 01-713-3374
Barbados: 429-9999
Costa Rica: 506-253-5439
Germany: 800-5555-5522
Denmark: 00-800-5555-5522


http://blahtherapy.com
http://www.7cupsoftea.com
http://www.translifeline.org
http://www.samaritans.org (uk)

Vocabulary
Sexual Attraction: having feelings of a sexual nature and desire to perform sexual acts with a person
Romantic Attraction: desire to perform romantic acts with the person of interest- this can be cuddling, hand-holding, kissing, dating etc., but depends on the person's definition of 'romantic'
Gender identity: A person's private definition of their own gender
M.O.G.I.I. : Marginalised Orientations, Gender Identities, and Intersex (Inclusive alternate to the ever expanding LGBTA)
Gender Binary: Male/Female
Thank You
Feel Free to Leave Questions or Comments
Full transcript