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on 18 March 2015

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Transcript of THE MOO

Writer: Maxwell Tower, News Staff.
Editor: Gabrielle Parlby, News Staff.
Place: Mootah, Old Milk Donalds Milk Factory.
Written by: Gabrielle Parlby, News Staff
Edited by: Max Towers, News Staff
Moo York City, Moo York
I loved the moosical that Mademoiselle M. starred in !
-Mr. McMadcow
Butter is a Fat?
Milk Gone Bad!
MYC- Cowmilla Bessie. She was thought to be a simple 67 year old cow. She can apparently tell the future.

A few years back she not only predicted the disappearance of President Coward in 2013 but also that his wife would disappear the next year. Both predictions occurred. Many people suspect she calfnapped him and his wife.

"She is a simple cow that has an amazing power," says a citizen of Moo York City. "I don't understand why everyone wants an explanation, it is entirely supernormal."

Nobody except Cowmilla herself knows how she does it. Many television shows have been asking her if they could do an interview, but every time she either says no or doesn't respond at all.

According to a poll on cowsaresmart.ca, over 82% of the population of Moo York thinks she is a sell out, where as only 12% thinks she is truly moogical. Cowmilla Bessie is a true mystery.
MOOTAH- At the Old Milk Donald's Milk Factory a fresh batch of bottled milk was found to be spoiled by one of the taste testers. "It was only 1 hour before I tasted the milk, 1 hour and the milk had gone bad." Stated the taste tester.

Several more tasted the batch of milk and it turned out the other 80% of it was bad too. "We were on the line of shutting down the factory." Said the boss of the Old Milk Donalds Milk Factory.

If one more batch of milk goes bad in 1 hour then the factory might just shut down.
Monday, March 16, 2015
-Alana Gendron, News Staff
-Edited by Hannah White, News Staff
-Old McDonald`s Farm, Oklahoma
Cow Abduction, Big Problems.
The Daily Moo
Volume XI
$0.45 per issue
A cow abduction caught on camera.
Source: Google Images
OKLAHOMA- On January 23rd, 2015 a mooltitude of cows were seen floating out of sight. Many think it was Rabbit (from the hit TV show Winnie-the-Pooh.)

Mademoiselle M., who recently stared in a hit Moosical said,"I lost a few friends on that day, it was just dreadful." The missing individuals are thought to be dead.

Many cows are paying their respects by grazing in crop circles, created by the flying saucer. They are also attempting to contact aliens by grazing in outrageous fashions.

Rabbit has a bad history with animals of all kinds. His co-star Pooh is getting tired of his negativity saying "If you can't say anything nice, don't say nothing at all. Just eat some honey and you
feel better"

The families of the abducted invite everyone to join them in an attempt to seek out the ancient aliens who stole their families and friends.

"Please, if you have a heart help aid in this cause." said a Green Grass commercial a few days ago. Many ads or commercials have been noticing this and are trying to have more cows be aware and careful.

Many cows fear for their calfs and are being extremely cautious, some not even sending their calfs to mhool to learn. It is udderly impossible to predict when the aliens will strike again. It could be today.

Cow Can Tell the Future?
Turn this...
Into this!
-Hannah White, News Staff
-Edited by Alana Gendron, News Staff
-Luke Barrier's farm, Moossboro, Alabama
The food that everyone loves is now a fat.
Source: Google Images
By: Hannah White, News Staff
Edited by: Gabrielle Parlby, Editer
The International Airport of Moontrose, Moontrose Angus, UK
Sometimes life is udderly ridiculous, but you just got to moooove on.
- The Cowerdly Cow
Bad Cows on the Loose
Monday, February 17, 2014
Vol XCIII, No. 311
Writer: Gabrielle Parlby, News Staff
Editor: Alana Gendron, News Staff
The Barnyard IIN, Montana
Best Fields In The World
Mme. Nadine's cleaning help service!
Scotland: Cow hotspot
GLASGOW- "Scotland is a huge hotspot for many cows due to its delicious grass and amazing scenery." said Samara Moody.

Trips to Scotland are available on flyingcows.ca for a measly 120 pieces of perfect grass (non chewed).

4 out of 5 cows want to go to Scotland, You can go today! Call 780-MOO-MOOO.
(780 -666-6666)
Google images
By: Alana Gendron, News Staff
Edited by: Hannah W, Editer
Glasgow, Scotland
By: Hannah White
Writer: Hannah White, News Staff
Editor: Gabrielle Parlby, News Staff
Alberta, Farmville
Sometimes, you just run into bad cows.
-James Milker
A New Name For Milk?
MOOTOWN- At the public moovie theater of Mootown, bringing your own grass or beverage is now banned for unknown reasons. This ban was announced Monday, March 9th. This has shocked many cows including some of the employes at Mootown Moovie theater. "I personally don't see why we banned it! It was a traditional thing that we have done for years." Said an employe.

Mootown Moovie theater has been one of the most popular theaters in the world because of this one rule that changed everything. "Maybe they just couldn't handle the fame!" Stated Mademoiselle Moo, the star of the brand new hit moosical.

Many citizens of Mootown are not happy with this and don't go to the moovie theater at all. "My favorite part was when i could bring my own grass i found myself!" Declared William Moosalot. Lots of cows think it is because some grass sounded so loud while chewing it, that they just couldn't let any cows bring their own chewy grass again.There are a ton of different theories for this, but only one of them can be correct.

The owner of the Moovie theater does not want to tell anyone why he banned it. He is trying to hide himself all the time because paparazzis and news cameras swarm him whenever they can get footage. He will simply shove his way through to somewhere away from them.

Multiple cows from our crew have tried contacting him or trying to figure out why he banned bringing foo at the Moovie theater, but he never answers our calls or E-mails. Many cows have tried lying on the internet saying they apparently asked him, but we dont know the truth yet.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Vol XCIII, No. 311
ALABAMA- On March 14th 2015 The Cow, pizza and spaghetti house introduced a new mystery food to the public. "Its a new creation." Said the owner of The Cow.

The new food is apparently able to come in
two different flavors. One flavor is hay and the other is grass! Nobody knows what the mystery food is except of course the employes of The Cow.

"I'm so excited to find out what the mystery
food is." Said Lilly Lettuce. There are tons and tons of online stories and opinions on what the mystery food is.

One of the online stories said: "I know
exactly what the mystery food is. Its not that hard to figure out. Its actually a new type of salad." One of the news staff checked in with the owner and some of the employes to ask and see whether this conspiracy is true or not.

It turned out that 50% of the staff said it was true and the
other 50% said it wasn't. It sounds alot like they where supposed to say that. We checked in with the owner and all he said the whole time was NO.

We then checked in with Lola Little (the writer of the story about how its
a salad) and she said that she may or may not work at The Cow. We looked a little deeper into this and it turned out that she did work at The Cow and then she quit right before they came up with the idea of the new food.

We now know that Lola Little is a big lier and that she doesn't actually
know what the mystery food is so it IS actually that hard to figure out. Now its back to not knowing what the the mystery food is.

Steak is a Thing?
EDMONTON- As you may have heard, our relationship with the humans has been changed drastically seeing as we now know that they eat us. Our entire world has changed.

We know now where the missing cows have gone....TO MOOVEN. Many cows want to stop giving their milk as a protest.

We udderstand know that we have been used. We are steak to them as grass is to us.

Cows as well as bulls fear for themselves and their calves. Statistics show that almost all cows will fear humans very much.

90% of cows say that there is a problem with how the humans operate. They don't agree with the slaughtering of their friends, family and possibly, themselves.
Written by: Gabrielle Parlby, News Staff
Edited by: Hannah White, Editer
Cowville, Ontario
By: Alana Gendron, News Staff
Edited by : Maxwell Tower, Editer
Cow Moortons, Sherwoood Park, Alberta
Outrage At Creation of Horse Hockey League
Udder-privileged calves are getting a chance at playing sports for the first time. The program is called Cow Bits.

Cow Bits is a program from the brand Cow Moortons. "I now look forward to the next day because of Cow Bits'' said one of the calves involved.

"It's just amoozing to see such a important cause addressed by such a large company" said Moolody Mooson.

While their skills on the field are unmooched they seem to have a slight difficulty with the throw in's.

Over a moolion cows went to give mooney to the cause. "Be a part of the cowmoonity and donate." said Moovela Cowtastic.

The program starts July 2nd and the we still need $450 more dollars to support all the calves. "Please donate," says the CEO of Cow Moortons "let's give thous calves a chance!"

A young calf playing soccer thanks to Cow Moortons.
Source: Google Images
Monday, February 17, 2014
Vol XCIII, No. 311
By: Hannah White, News Staff
Edited by: Max Towers, editer
Rio de Janeiro, Africa
Cowlympics 2016!
Uh Oh, Here We Go Again!
By: Maxwell Tower, News Staff
Edited By: Gabrielle Parlby, News Staff Commoonwealth Stadium, Edmoonton, Alberta
RIO DE JANEIRO- All international teams are getting ready for the 31st annual Cowlympics! The games will include all breeds of cows and bulls from all over world. The teams have been preparing since the last games in 2014.

"It is my first games," says new athlete Moolisa Myers "Go team Canada!" All teams are very excited for the games, except Japan. "We have had a minor setback, " says coach Moochel McMoo "Our star gymnast has broken her leg." After he spoke about this manner he exited from the interview meaning we have no futher information about this case.

All teams have faced their own struggles. Ups and downs, pros and cons, but it all comes down to the moments at the podium. Bronze, silver and gold are taken home by the best teams.

"I have 7 bronze, 8 silver and 10 gold," says retired athlete Moondy Smooth "and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Once your done all your hard work, nothing means more to get one of them, doesn't matter the color of the medal or of the person winning it."

Rio de Janeiro won the election, though it had some rough competition including Chicago (USA), Tokyo (JAP) and Madrid (ESP). After each round, one place or team would be eliminated.

In the first round of election, the highest vote of 28 went to Madrid, with 28 and the lowest to Chicago with 18. After in the second round, Rio got the most votes with 46 eliminating Tokyo with 20. Finally, in the last round between Rio and Madrid, with a total of 66 on 32, RIO WON!

Even though there are at least 508 more days until the games, we are still ecstatic about them. So grab your friends and some popcorn, the olympics are HERE!

EDMOONTON- Uh-Oh! It looks like there has been another group of people arrested for starting a big fight at a baseball tournament. Even though this might not look like a big deal, it is. Three people were ambushed by a group of people because they where cheering for another team.

The big group of attackers had 7 people in it. One of the guys
from the party of three was hospitalized due to a serious concussion of the head that could have lead to death. This fight wasn't just with fists it also involved baseball bats.

The two other victims where also injured but not as serious as the one who was hospitalized. We went to visit the three victims to treat them to a very nice night out to meet the whole the baseball team.

"Although that is a very nice offer I'm not sure I want to go." Said the hospitalized victim and the two non hospitalized victims. We could see why they didn't want to go so we brought the baseball team to them.

We arranged with the baseball team to go and surprise the three victims. When the baseball team arrived they surprised the three victims. The three victims started crying. The baseball team said "they never saw it coming. When we jumped out they all freaked out and started crying." When the three victims finished crying they took a lot of pictures. The three men are now living a normal life with their families.
This is only one group of cows that are in Scotland.
Weather: 5 day forecast
Best fields in the world , Scotland cow hotspot , Bad cows on the loose , Cow beach.

pg. 2

Bringing food banned at public Moovie theater ,
Steak is a thing? ,
New name for milk , Old restaurant, new food

pg. 3

Cowlympics 2016, Help udder-privileged calves, Outrage at creation of Horse Hockey League, Uh-Oh, here we go again.

pg. 4
Monday- High: +8
Low: -2
The local milk factory.
Source: Google Images
MOOSBORO- Butter. We use it on toast, to make sandwiches and to cook with. But our beloved butter... is a fat?!?

Local dairy website milkandmore.com found out that 100 g of our delicious spread contains 81 g of fat. 51 g of that fat is saturated, while 21 g is monounsaturated fat.

"This is an outrage!" Says local farmer Luke Barrire. "I work so hard to get me some butter and they add fat to it? My mind has just exploded."

"Why didn't the makers tell us?" said local comedian John Moody. We asked 100 farmers and all of them said they WOULD NOT buy butter if they knew about the fat. That could potentially make the butter sales go down.

If you want less saturated fat then you could try margarine, but it has the same amount of fat. This could change how we see our lovable spread.

MONTANA- Many cows have been surveyed what they think the best fields in the world are, the poll results are:

Moo jersey, "I loved the fields in Moo jersey! The grass was just delicious." Said Mrs. Betsy Browncow. Moo jersey is very lively and has lots of places to go. The grass is very fresh and green. Although the grass is very clean and good to eat, most cows replied and Stated "The views aren't very nice, and are just a view of the city. I and most cows prefer a natural view of trees."

England (farms) , We interviewed a cow couple who used to live in the fields there. The wife stated "The grass was a little dry, but the view was amazing." Her husband on the other hoof, "The grass was very hard to take care of, but had a beautiful sunset and sunrise."

Last but not least, Milkton fields, in Eastern Canada. Milkton fields is the most recommended field on our poll. Over 70% out of one hundred voted Milkton fields as one of the best fields in the world ever. Many disagreed, and commented their bad experiences with the community there, but that was only a quarter of cows who said they love Milkton fields.

Some cows chose what fields had the best tasting grass, while others went for the view or surroundings. Moo jersey has great grass, but minor views. England farms have magnificent views, but dry and hard to take care of grass. Milkton is the most voted because according to Visitmilkton.ca, the views are totally natural of trees, but a little bit of the town so its not to boring.

Milkton fields is only the majority of Milkton. Milkton towns is the smaller part of Milkton. Milkton towns is the place for cows who want to live in more of a suburban area, but still be close to the best fields in the world.

It usually doesn't cost that much perfect grass to live in Milkton towns, But if you want to live in Milkton fields, you have to have about 600 pieces of hay, or 1000 pieces of perfect grass(non chewed) , But that is only if you are living on your own. If you want to move here with your family or herd, you must pay that amount per cow.
By: Maxwell Tower, News Staff
Edited by: Alana Gendron, News Staff.
Cow Beach, Hawaii

Tuesday- High: + 12
Low: 1
Wednesday- High: +10
Low: 0
By: Alana Gendron,News Staff
Editied by: Hannah White, Editer
Moontana's Steak House, Edmonton,
Thursday- High: +9
Low: 0
Friday-High: +12
Low: +2
A picture of the two bombers.
Source: Google images
The Daily Moo weather team
Help Udder-privileged Calves
Flying Cows Airline
Go places...
And eat more grass...
Cow Beach!
A person's reaction to the name change.
Source: Google images
FARMVILLE- According to this photo posted on the internet, the local dairy company of Farmville has decided to make a brand new name for milk, Cow Juice

"It's original, we could have a new empire," says owner Miloo Milee "I think it is fine. I have no consideration of changing it back." Many people find the name disturbing for a drinkable liquid. "I don't want my child drinking ice cold Cow Juice. It sounds too weird." Says a local shopper.

There is no signs of changing the name back. But there has been scheduled a protest on April 19th.

MOONTROOSE- At the international airport of Moontrose, two identified bombers, "Milky" Michella Moore and "Spiral" Spots Grasser, or the 'Bad Cows' gang were caught putting brown bombs in some luggage.

"It was terrifying," says a local flyer "We almost lost all our stuff!" The gang was caught by the police, but after 5 hours of being stuck in the slammer, they escaped.

They were last seen getting on a flight to Dubai with metal in their bags. The airport has
been notified and is checking for I.D before boarding and leaving planes.

Bringing Food Banned at Public Moovie theater
By: Gabrielle Parlby, News Staff
Edited by: Hannah White, Editer
Mootown, California
"Can you believe it? Cow Beach is finally open! Its been a couple months and its open! Many cows are sooooo excited to be able to swim around in the ocean!" said Moox Mill

"I'm sooo excited." Said Melody Music! There are ice cream stands, ice cold cow juice stands and MUCH MUCH more. Lilo and Stitch are both super excited knowing there is a new beach in Hawaii to go surfing at.

There was a grand opening the day of. "Its so much fun going swimming. My son especially loves it." Said the the mayor at the opening of the Cow Beach. There was a huge party at the grand opening. It was one of Hawaii's biggest party in a LONG time.

There are many places to go swimming in Hawaii but Cow Beach is so popular that all the other beaches aren't getting as much attention. This Beach is a big big hit, almost to much of a hit. Its getting more attention than any beach in Hawaii and that's decreasing the amount of cows at any of the other local beaches.

The amount of decreasing cows at the other local beaches is so minimal that they are left unvisited. The Mayor decided that they might have to close them up or just construct other building such as: another Barnyard IIN, another Old Milk Donalds Milk Factory or even a Cow Ville Mall.
COWVILLE- Lately, cows have been on a huge rant about the new Horse Hockey League, but one group of cows were more then just outraged, they were furious. A group of three unidentified cows from Cowville, went on a rampage at the new Horse Hockey League's rink.

The cows broke into the rink at about 5:30am, trapped all the horses that worked there, and gave them a terrible lecture about how horses can't play hockey.

"I admit it was a little scary at first, but once we managed to call the police it was much better." said Sam Saddle, an arabian horse who worked there. The three cows have not yet arrested for the property damage caused and trespassing.
New Food, Old Restaurant!
Happiness is owning a cow that gives you ice cream instead of milk.
M.N Mewling
One of the team USA athletes.
Source: Google images
By:Maxwell Tower, News Staff
Edited By: Hannah White, Editer
Alabamoo- The Cow
What u lookin at?
The new restaurant
Source: Google Images
The horse hockey masot
Provided by google images


Capricorn: December 22nd - January 20th
Aqaurius: January 21st - February 19th
A cows reaction to this statement
Pisces: February 20th - March 21st
A man in prison had a visitor. Afterward the guard asks him who the visitor was. The inmate replies, "Brothers and sisters I have none, but that man's father is my fathers son. "
What is the relation between the prisoner and the visitor?
A) His son
B) His dad
C)His mother
Aries: March 22nd - April 20th
Taurus: April 19th - May 21st
Gemini: May 22nd - June 21th
Cancer: June 22nd - July 23rd
Leo: July 24th - August 23rd
Virgo: August 24th - September 23rd
Libra: September 24th - October 23rd
Scorpio: October 24th - November 22nd
Sagittarious: 23rd November - December 21st
Full transcript