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Copy of Leadership

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by

Heather Clark

on 26 February 2013

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Transcript of Copy of Leadership

Leadership and Self-Deception Part 1:
Self-Deception And The "Box "Bud Meeting" A Problem "The Problem Is You Don't Know It" Self Deception The Deep Choice That Determines Influence That Depends On Whether
We Are In Or Out Of The Box People Or Objects Life In The Box Box Focus If We're In The Box, We'll Be Inviting Others To Be In The Box Too.
Productive
Achieving Results
When We are In The Box We Are Focused On Ourselves.
As long As We Are Focused On Ourselves, We Cannot Fully Focus On Results Or On The People To Whom We Are Delivering Those Results.
When We Blame Others, Their Shortcomings Justify Our Failure To Improve. Self Betrayal Doubt Characteristics
Of
Self-Betrayal Part 2: How We Get In the Box Box Problems Leadership Out Of The Box Another Chance Merely Knowing About The Box Does Not Get You Out Of The Box.

Living Your Life By Respecting Others And Treating Them As Human Beings Is What Gets You Out Of The Box And Keeps You Out Birth Of A Leader Leadership In The Box Toward Being Out The Way Out Dead Ends How Do You Get Out Of The Box? When You Feel That You Want To Be Out Of The Box For Someone, In That Moment You Are Out Of The Box The Reason You Want To Be Out Of The Box For Someone Is Because You Are Seeing That Someone As A Person And Not An Object What We Do In The Box Blame Others For Problems We Have

Try To Change Others What Doesn't Work In The Box 1. Trying To Change Others
2. "Coping" With Others
This Is A Form Of Placing Blame
3.Leaving The Situation Thinking The Problem Will Go Away
If You Are In The Box The Box Will Follow You Wherever You Go
4. Communicating
While In The Box You Only Communicate What Is In The Box
5. Implementing New Skills Or Techniques
6. Changing Behavior Towards People You Cannot Get Out Of The Box By Focusing On Yourself The Box Is A Metaphor For
How We Resist Others. The Moment We Cease Resisting Others, We're Out Of The Box
Being Out Of The Box Means We Are Liberated From Self-Justifying Thoughts And Feelings In The Box We Cannot Truly Focus On Results Because We Are So Busy Focusing On Ourselves Knowing How We Get In The Box Self-betrayal Leads To
Self-deception And
"The Box" When You're In The Box,
You Can't Focus On Results Your Influence And
Success Will Depend On
Being Out Of The Box You Get Out Of The Box
As You Cease Resisting
Other People Living The Material Don't Give Up On Yourself When You Discover You've Been In The Box

Do Keep Trying Don't Deny That You've Been In The Box When You Have Been

Do Apologize; Then Just Keep Marching Forward, Trying To Be More Helpful To Others In The Future Don't Focus On What Others Are Doing Wrong

Do Focus On What You Can Do Right To Help Don't Try To Be Perfect

Do Try To Be Better Don't Look For Others' Boxes

Do Look For Your Own Don't Accuse Others Of Being In The Box

Do Try To Stay Out Of The Box Yourself Don't Worry Whether Others Are Helping You

Do Worry Whether You Are Helping Others Look At People As People And Not As Objects
Not Interested In Knowing A Person's Name Shows That You Are Not Interested In Knowing Them As A Person
You Can Do The Right Thing But In The Wrong Way By Looking At Someone As An Object A Way To Be In The Box Is To Use Self Betrayal

Self Betrayal Is Used To Describe A Way In Which You Betrayed Your Own Sense Of How You Should Behave Toward Another Person

When You Betray Yourself You See The World In A Way That Justifies Your Self Betrayal When You See The World In A Self Justifying Way Then Your View Of Reality Becomes Distorted
When You Betray Yourself You Become Self Deceived
When You Betray Yourself You Go Into The Box

Inflate Others' Faults, Inflate Your Own Virtue, Inflate The Value Of Things That Justify Your Self Betrayal And Blame Apologizing To People That You Were In The Box Towards Can Help Improve Situations Fifth Element To Self Betrayal: Over Time, Certain Boxes Become Characteristics Of Me, And I Carry Them With Me.
As We Betray Ourselves, We Come To See Ourselves In Various Self-Justifying Ways We've Created.
We Enter New Situations While In The Box. The Solution To Self Betrayal Problems Is The Solution To All Of Those People Problems.
Self Betrayal Is The Germ That Creates The Disease Of Self Deception.
Symptoms:
Lack Of Motivation
Commitment To Stress
Communication Problems Being Blind To Our Own Box.
Realizing We Are Blaming Others Not For Their Mistakes, But For Ours.
Collusion: Where Two Or More People Are Mutually In Their Boxes Towards Each Other.
We Invite Others Into The Box, Providing Each Other With Mutual Justification Of Staying Here - In The Box.
Realizing We Are Provoking The Very Problems We Are Complaining About.
It Becomes A Cycle. A "Well Done" Sticker Was
Expected But Instead
There Is A Problem Putting Up With People
Vs. Treating Them Right More Damage Then Good By Keeping Yourself
Isolated, You Are
Putting Things At Risk. I Had Become
The Problem The Bigger Problem
Is That I Couldn't
See It Self Deception
AKA
Being
In The Box The Problem Beneath
Other Problem People
Problems A
Germ Problems
Can Be
Solved Beneath Effective
Leadership You Pay Attention To How You Think Others Are Seeing You. Your Responses Seemed To Be Informed By What You Thought They Were Thinking Of You. When You Go Out Of Your Way To Do Something For Someone, What Are You Most Interested In, The Person Or The Persons Opinion Of You? We Can Often Sense How Other People Are Feeling Towards Us. People Skills Are Never Primary No Matter What We Are Doing On The Outside,
People Respond To How We Are Feeling About
Them On The Inside. I Saw Others As Less
Then They Were In The Box Out Of The Box Ability To See Others And The
Situation Clearly
Without Bias The Arbinger Institute
Full transcript