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Mr. Cerda's Sample Essay
Transcript of Mr. Cerda's Sample Essay
Cell phones are important for communication because they allow you to stay in touch with people. Imagine that there was a family emergency, and you had to leave school immediately. What would happen if your parents could not reach you, or if the school failed to communicate their message? More importantly, students have been able to warn other students in cases when there have been emergencies at school like during the Virginia Tech shooting when students were able to call police and friends to warn them about the danger. As a result, many lives were spared.
Cell phones are also a great resource. Just the other day I was in class and the teacher was out. The substitute was not able to help me when I had questions. But, I was able to find a video that was really helpful on Youtube. My friend, who has a lot of trouble with English, uses Google Translate on his phone to help him with his work.
Intros and Conclusion
Non Fiction Text
Have you ever watched a movie and it took forever to really get into the heart of the story, or a beginning that was just plain confusing? How about an ending that was a complete let down?
How much did either of those things affect your opinion about the movie overall?
Well, what applies to script writing, also applies to all kinds of writing. To have an overall effective piece of writing, you need to spend some time constructing a good introduction and conclusion. In this presentation, we will be looking at several different types of intro's and conclusion, using a sample essay just to put everything into context.
A quick note: Introductions serve two purposes. First, they lay the foundation for what you will be talking about in the body. We call this the thesis statement. Secondly, it has to capture your audiences' attention or get them interested enough so that they will continue reading. Sometimes it is referred to as the "hook".
Lets take this introduction for example. "Cell phones should be allowed in class because they are important for communication, and they are a great resource."
You may know what the author will be discussing, but do you honestly want to keep reading?
Types of Intros
The writer is just giving context for what they are about to discuss.
Technology has become a huge part of modern culture. Technology has shaped the way we communicate all the way to how we learn. And that is why, they should be allowed in class.
The writer starts off with a question that really provokes the audience’s thought. It should not be easily answered, and the writer can even use this as a setup for their conclusion where (through their argument) the only logical answer is the one they, the writer, puts forth.
If you had the ability to solve most of your problems or prevent them from happening, would you use that ability even though it was against all the rules? That is the question that most teenagers are faced with every morning they wake up and go to school. They are told that having their cell phones at school is bad, and that they will be taken away despite the fact that they are such a great resource and vital for communication.
This is giving an example that the audience can visualize or relate to
Imagine that you are a prisoner and right outside your steel door was the set of keys you need to escape with. That is how it is in a classroom when you have a cell phone in your pocket but are not allowed to use it even though they are a great resource and are an important part of modern communication.
Uses an emotional appeal to try to get the audience to relate to the writer.
I remember, once in class, when I was embarrassed by a teacher. She made a big deal in taking away my cell phone from me, and all I was trying to do was look up a word I did not know. This sort of embarrassment could easily be avoided if only cell phones were allowed in the classroom. And why not, cell phones are a great resource and vital to communication in this new day and age.
Note: Conclusions are the last thing people will read and remember so make it count.
Types of Conclusions
If you start off using a question, you can end your essay (your conclusion) by answering the question.
Ex: So if you had the ability to solve or prevent your problems from happening, would you? The answer is easy, of course you would, and you would be right in doing so. And, that is why technology, like cell phones, should be allowed in the classroom.
A side note on Question Introduction
References something from the beginning, middle and end. This is very BASIC.
So in closing, cell phones should be allowed in school because they are a great resource and important to communication.
General statement of the point you are trying to make.
Technology is the present and the future. Technology is something we will all have to use once we get into college or the workforce, but in the end it just comes down to one thing. Either, we are allowed to use technology at school, or we are not. The choice is up to the school.
Invites the reader to reflect or think (may pose a question).
So I ask you. What would you do if you were not allowed to use one of the most important tools in modern society? A tool that can help you learn, help you communicate. Would you stand by idly or call for a change? I know I would encourage change.
Leave your audience with a picture or lasting impression. This one is kind of like the contemplative one where you leave your audience thinking, but in this case, you give them exactly what they should be thinking about.
Imagine a school where students are not afraid that their possessions will be taken away, a school where they are free to seek resources and information on their own, to be independent. That is the type of school any teenager would love to attend. And that the kind of school we can have if we are allowed to use are cell phones at school.
Call to Action
Unlike some of the other conclusions which are persuasive in an indirect way, call to action is very direct. You are just being blunt and saying what you want your audience to do. It also implies that it has to be a group effort to accomplish this.
So, the youth of today must be allowed to use cell phones in school. We must change the old school policies that make students fear that this valuable resource, their cell phone, will be taken away just because they are doing what every other American does freely.
Sometimes it is just more powerful to use another person’s words, or sometimes, someone has just said the same thing you are trying to say but better.
In conclusion, we should be allowed to use cell phones at school. They are both useful and very important for communication. Plus it is the right thing to do. I leave you with the words of James McGreevy, “I'm pleading with you, I'm begging with you to do the right thing. And do it not for the sake of how it will impact your own lives, but only for the sake of doing the right thing (McGreevy).
When something is referenced at the end that was mentioned at the beginning. (This comes from stand-up comics) It is used to make your essay sound like it has come full circle.
Let’s say that you started your essay with the title “The time is now” or your first line in your essay was, “The time is now to allow students to use cell phones in school”.
You can end your essay with something like, “I have discussed all the great reasons why cell phones should be allowed in school. And the more times goes by, the more important it is for students to use this valuable resource because mobile devices will become an increasing factor in business and learning. So, I encourage you to change your mind. Because if there were ever a time to change, the time is now.
NOTE: This might be a lot to take in all at once. My best advice is to just experiment with the different kinds of intro's and conclusions. Find one or two that you like, and try to make them your own.