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Active Listening & Mediation

SAIC RA Training 2013
by

Ashley Malenfant

on 8 August 2013

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Transcript of Active Listening & Mediation

Active Listening & Mediation
Mediating Conflict
1. Introduction/Ground Rules
2. Telling the Story
3. Problem Solving
4. Agreement
5. Follow-up
Asking the RIGHT Questions
Defining the Problem

Understand the core concepts of active listening
Practice active listening skills
Understand the importance of mediation
Overview of the Process of Mediation

Agreement Stage
Tell your buddy something that you are nervous about for this upcoming semester.

Practice non-verbals, Empathic Listening, & Asking Probing Questions.

Give the listener feedback on how they did.

Telling the Story
Mediating Conflict

Active listening

Introduction/Ground Rules
Telling the Story
Problem Solving
Agreement
Follow-up

MEDIATION
STEP BY STEP

Pair off into two teams of 2
Each person will have a chance to be the talker and the listener
Go back to when you were in grammar/elementry/or HS and talk about a problem that you had with your partner.
Practice aware of non-verbals, Empathic Listening, and Asking Probing Questions.
Give the listener feedback on how they did.

Lets Practice!

Resident: She treats me badly, and I don’t like it
You: Tell me what she actually does
Resident: She talks about me behind my back. I know she does. Others tell me what she says. She also cancels dates when something more interesting comes up.
You: It sounds like you’re really hurt by that…How have you been reacting to all of this?


Ask Probing (Open Ended) Questions and Statements

Know the Non-Verbals
Empathic Listening
Asking the Right Questions
Reasons for Conflict
Goal of Mediation
Process of Mediation



Overview

Overview

Start with the easiest issue
Use your empathetic listening skills to rephrase each person’s perception of the issue(s)
Is there any common ground…..You both want to limit guests but disagree on how much
Are there any underlying issues?


Defining the Problem

3

Set the stage with physical arrangements and opening comments
Meet in your room….its a neutral space
Have them sit near one another, be careful that they perceive no favoritism

Introduction and Ground rules

1

Open-Ended Questions:
John, you said that after this verbal exchange Julius filed a Complaint against you. What were your reactions to this? .

Using Questions to “Paint a Picture”

What I hear you saying is that….
You feel (name the emotion expressed by the talker)
Because (indicate the correct thoughts and experiences that brought them to that feeling)

Resident- I could kill her. She didn’t take the garbage out for the last 3 weeks.
You – It sounds like you feel furious because she keeps failing to hold up her part of the bargain.

Empathic Listening

Brainstorm
What would each party like to propose
Use what if statements
Ask what people are for, not what they are against
I’ve seen X work for some people….do you think that might work for you?

4

Developing and Testing Potential Solutions

Each should have ample time, not equal time
No interruptions from either party and very little from you
Seek clarification
Ask open ended questions
Don’t challenge at this point
What are the main points?
Be mindful of the ground rules

2

Telling the Story



Closed-Ended Questions (Details):
“John, you said this took place over the winter.
Do you remember exactly when this happened?
(or to get definitions):

I heard you say that you want Julius to treat you
with respect. Help me understand what this
means. How does someone demonstrate that they respect you?


Open-Ended Questions (Outline):
“OK John, why don’t you begin by telling us what brings you to mediation today.

Using Questions to “Paint a Picture”

Home sweet home Activity
Empathetic Listening
Body behavior-Posture , body movements, and gestures
Eye behavior-eye contact, staring, eye movement
Facial expressions-smiles, frowns, raised eyebrows,
Space-how close or far a person is during the dialogue


Active Listening
Understanding non-verbals
For Example:
What I hear you saying is that….
You feel (name the emotion expressed by the talker)
Because (indicate the correct thoughts and experiences that brought them to that feeling)

builds trust and respect,
enables the disputants to release their emotions,
reduces tensions,
encourages the surfacing of information, and
creates a safe environment that is conducive to collaborative problem solving.
Closed
Open
YOU: Do you talk to your roommate?
Resident: No.
You: Tell me a little bit about your relationship with Gina?
Resident: She talks about me behind my back. I know she does. Others tell me what she says. She also cancels dates when something more interesting comes up.
You: It sounds like you’re really hurt by that…How have you been reacting to all of this?

Practice your Skills.
Find your buddy. Decide who is going to be the listener and who is going to be the talker.
Follow the instructions on the card,
(shhhh..don't share)
How'd that go?
Introduction and Ground rules
Set the stage with physical arrangements and opening comments

Meet in your room….its a neutral space

Have them sit near one another, be careful that they perceive no favoritism

Set ground rules

Each should have ample time, not equal time

No interruptions from either party and very little from you

Seek clarification

Ask open ended questions

Don’t challenge at this point

What are the main points?

Be mindful of the ground rules


Start with the easiest issue

Use your empathetic listening skills to rephrase each person’s perception of the issue(s)

Is there any common ground…..You both want to limit guests but disagree on how much

Are there any underlying issues?


Developing & Testing Potential Solutions
Brainstorm
What would each party like to propose
Use what if statements
Ask what people are for, not what they are against
"I’ve seen X work for some people….do you think that might work for you?"

Be specific , clear, balanced, and realistic
How can they hold accountable
Follow up on their agreement!

Practice your Skills.
Watch this clip and think about what you would have done the same or possibly different?
Full transcript