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COM 353 - MW - 2 - 315 - Unit 4 - Conflict

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Adam Barragato

on 21 January 2014

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Transcript of COM 353 - MW - 2 - 315 - Unit 4 - Conflict

1. What is Hazing and why is it used?
2. Are there "better" alternatives?
3. Exam 2 Explanation
4. Work Time

1. An
expressed struggle
2. between at least two
interdependent parties
3. who
PERCEIVE
incompatible goals
(1 winner - 1 loser)
scarce resources
(time, money, respect)
interference from others in achieving their goals
(stopping you from doing what you need)
What "FILTERS" influence your PERCEPTION of conflict & how you RESPOND?
Assertiveness
Cooperation
0
10
0
10
Competing
Collaborating
Avoiding
Accommodating
Compromising
I & You
AND
a Winner & Loser
I Win!
You Lose!
I Win, I lose
You Win, You Lose
I win
You win!
I lose
You lose
I lose
You win
IN Every Conflict STYLE there is an.....
-High Assertiveness
-No Cooperation
-Who has this type of style?
-High Assertiveness
-High Cooperation
-Who has this type of style?
-Some Assertiveness
-Some Cooperation
-Who has this type of style?
-No Assertiveness
-No Cooperation
-Who has this type of style?
-No Assertiveness
-ALL Cooperation
-Who has this type of style?
How Do You Handle a "HEATED" Conflict?
-Before you start the conflict - have an outline* of what the major issues - and what they want to get across and out of the conflict
-Encourage all parties to speak their minds without interruptions
-Avoid insulting the other person
-Always keep in mind the BIG picture not the MINOR details
-BREATHE BEFORE YOU START TALKING
-Ask yourself -what am I really upset about?
-Emphasize understanding and empathy in your communication - I UNDERSTAND
-Certain specific verbal cues - steady rate, medium volume level, not too fast,
-I - messages - "I feel like...."
-Put yourself in the other person's shoes - why are THEY angry - you cannot see what they are feeling
-HUMOR?
-Mediating VERSUS being involved makes a DIFFERENCE - sometimes having a mediator can be helpful
Today on COM 353!
Initial Reactions to CONFLICT HW?
Does conflict have to be EXPRESSED?
-Can be a difference between conflict and disagreement
-Interdependent parties - depending on each other
-Why we perceive the the things we do through
filters
-Could be MORE life changing versus a disagreement which you can just walk away from
-CONFLICT Depends on the PERSON's perception
-How conflict can arise - a lot of different ways
-Looking at the OTHER person's view point
-
Why are we SCARED to EXPRESS IT?
Read the short excerpt - Discuss as a team
1. How big of a role "gender" play a role in how we view/handle conflict?
2. Can we change our view on conflict or is it too engrained in society/gender roles?
-If the other person doesn't know
then how can their be a difficulty?
-Sometimes it's more "subtle'
-It doesn't have to be VOCAL
-Body language is most common form
of expression

-Saving face - what they might think
about you - lose the relationship
-Being dismissive
-Voicing complaints will make you feel bad
-Move on instead of deal with it knowing there is a
task that needs to be done - and you won't see them again
-People pleasing - not liking having people mad at you
-Losing the relationship/burning bridges
-Is it worth expressing it in the heat of the moment?
-Something you feel you cannot resolve/not worth resolving
-Understanding the DEPTH of the conflict
-Disrupts the status quo
-NEGATIVE PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES
-BELIEF - Stubborn
-CULTURAL - Prideful - we want to be right or we avoid it
-ETHNOCENTRISM - one way is the RIGHT way to do it
-GENDER
1. How strong of a role does "gender" play a role in how we view/handle conflict?
2. Can we change our view on conflict - or is it too engrained in US from society?
-Women trained to "save face" - "sneaky"
-Women rewarded to "get along" with people
-Women are supposed to deal with conflict a certain way through the lens of the opposite sex
-Men are taught to "challenge" the rules
-Double edged sword - if a woman has a voice they are masculine and strong - if they don't they're liked
-Men can be both liked and respected for having a voice
-Males apt to "challenge" the leader
-Requires a PERSPECTIVE shift from bi-polar gender norms
-Not everyone wants to change
-Individually you can change
-Every generation changes
(surprised by definition? did you have a conflict?)
Your success will be limited by your willingness to adapt to your surroundings
"
Anybody can become angry
-
that is easy,

but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."
-Aristotle
With the definition of conflict
in mind
- create a "system" to differentiate between the two and whether you should EXPRESS it.
Conflict vs. Disagreement
-Differing opinions
-Perceived Incompatible
Goals
(I want this, you want that)
-Perceived Interference from
others achieving goals
(having a clean apt.)
-Perceived Scarce Resources
(time, money, respect)
-Nobody is stopping you from doing what you want
-Resources are NOT an issue
-Can be shrugged off
INTERDEPENDENCE?
-Cannot be shrugged
off
Schedule:
What do THESE styles sound like?
COMPETING
AVOIDING
Accommodating
COLLABORATING
COMPROMISING
-Loud noises in general
-I'm the expert here
-See it my way/my way or the highway
-You're going down
-I'm better than you
-I don't care what you think
-Let's team up!
-Let's put this together
-Can we do both?
-What about THAT and THIS
-Yes AND also this
-We're awesome, lets SHARE IDEAS
-If you get this, I can get that
-Tit for that (this for that)
-Let's meet in the middle
-I'm okay with that
-I scratch your back.....
-You want this, I want that, let's
get something in between
-"Sounds like a deal"
-
-
-
-
-Whatever.
-It's fine.
-Let's deal with it later
-Pass
-Don't worry about it
-Silence
-I gotta go/Seacrest out
-Peace out
Acronyms
-F.R.I.C.K
(FEEL there is a winner/loser, RESOURCES
limit interaction, INTERDEPENDENT between
two parties, COMPLETION,
should they KNOW the issue exists)
-D.I.G.S.S.
(DIFFERING opinions, INCOMPATIBLE Goals,
can GOALS both achieve the goal, Scare Resources, Shrugged off?)
-I.H.E.S.H.
(Identify whether or not you rely on that the other
person, HOW do you rely - goals resources, Evaluate
the problem, Sharing is Caring -> if you care enough
about the problem you need to share the concern, HUG IT OUT)
LAST WEEK....
Presentation reminders:
How can we take the CON out of CONFLICT?
-Focus on the positives:
It can help you think faster on your feet
-Focus on the positive results - emphasize the results as we see them
-Stress the FEELING of letting the "monkey off your back."
-Conflict can make you feel more comfortable being honest
-Allows you to have a solid foundation and know
where people stand on issues/allows you to work together stronger
Monday December 2nd
Last HW - HAZING
Wednesday Dec 4th
-Work day for Exam 2
Final Meeting
Monday December 9th
Final Activity - 15 points
-In
95%
of the cases where students identified their experience as hazing,
they did not report the events to campus officials.
-
55%

of college students involved in clubs, teams, and organizations
experience hazing.
-2008, National Study of Student Hazing
“Hazing is
ANY
activity expected of someone joining or participating in a group that humiliates, degrades, abuses, or endangers them
regardless of a person’s
willingness to participate.”

What is HAZING?
Why is it used in "teams?"
Are there "better" options?
Why talk about hazing?
-Starting with respect - welcoming new members as "valuable" resources - they have to know they are valued
-Promoting positiveness/inspiring them
-Meet and greet/interview process
-Mentoring through instilling of values in a positive way out of the box
-Activities where they actually learning something (a life lesson)
-Learn the history of the team and apply it to their life
-Hazing Field Day - embarrassing but not harmful events that get them out of the comfort zone
-Forcing to do stuff that HELPS people
- Longer application process
Today:
Wednesday:
-Turn in Last HW
-Work Day!
Friday
-Exam due!
(level of attraction)
(to)
(specific club/organization)
COHESIVENESS =
-Test the recruits to see if they will fit in
-Older members can see "loyalty"
-Establish norms/rite of passage
-Establishing Seniority
-"Scarecrow" -> establishes prestige
scares away those who aren't as interested
-Tradition/Glamor/desirable
-Promotes understanding of the team
-BONDING
-Creates status for people (totem pole)
-Power and Control
-Use of alcohol with regard to forced consumption

-Threat or peer pressure
-Paddling in any form

-Creation of excessive fatigue or forced exercise
-Physical and psychological shocks

-Scavenger hunts and road trips
-
Calling members demeaning names
-Wearing of apparel which is conspicuous and not normally in good taste
-Morally degrading or humiliating games and activities
-Assigning pranks
-Custodial requirements that does not involve those other than new members
Such activities include, but are not limited to, the following:
CMU's Policy:
=
Greater the Difficulty
to join
GREATER THE DESIRE
to join
Exam 2!
1. Prezi Presentation
2. Magazine Format
3. Something else
Due Friday - December 6th - 5 pm
Present conflict "in a positive and applicable" way for teams
Goal:
-Exam work time
COmMITMENT/RESPECT
POLARIZATION
LOYALTY
Full transcript