S-T-C

In this video, we're gonna look at something called situation

Thought and consequence and in your book, crucial conversations on

page 108 There's a situation between Luis and Maria, and

this really connects with the situation thought consequence model that

Nelson Jones layout within their their book.

And so we're gonna look at this together.

And so situation thought consequence.

When I'm working with clients and I'm describing this technique,

what I tell them is it's kind of like our

thoughts are this machine on dso.

The situation occurs, and so here's the situation and then

our thought.

Then it goes to this machine where our thoughts begin

to into abroad with it, and then out comes something

else, right?

And so what happens is, within this machine, there's not

really machine, but within this machine that I talk about

it like it takes the situation.

I was like, uh on and throws out a thought

that then contribute to a consequence.

So, for example, you binge earning with a 29 year

old mother of two.

She recently saw you at the grocery store, and you

did not notice her.

Her thought was I'm not important to you really matter

when it's a specific time that we meet, no one

really cares about me.

And so then the consequences.

She feels hopeless alone, rejected.

She's called to inform that she's canceling her next appointment

with you.

The situation does not bring about the consequence.

It's actually the thought that then influences the consequence.

There's lots of situations that we go through where, if

we have a different thought process or we approach it

differently, the consequence of the outcome is going to change.

And so situation thought consequence is a good thing to

kind of work with for ourselves or for those returning

with and asking them.

Okay, this is the situation, and this is the thought.

Is there any other potential thought?

Are there three other potentials for thoughts that we could

go to and then using those as something to kind

of build off of?

And so again, it's the situation, then goes into this

thought machine where whatever goes on within our mind interact

with that situation and bam out comes this consequence, our

outcomes, this response that will then have consequences, whether or

not um, that's really what happened, and the consequences don't

have to be negative if the situation was the same

one and her thought was that she didn't notice, you

know? Well, they didn't notice me.

Then the consequence would be that she may be said

to you.

When I was at the gross story the other day,

you didn't notice me, and I waved.

But anyways, you were really busy.

And I thought I would just reach out and let

you know that I'm excited for our next appointment, whatever,

it would be right.

And so, just knowing that there's this situation and there's

an outcome.

But the thought in the middle is going to impact

what that outcome is and so keep that in mind,

is your journey with others.

This is one from a teenage perspective.

So the situation is going to a party, and the

thought is actually I'm the thought is that it's going

to give me a sense of community, of fitting in

of longing for connection.

It's a kind of a teen ritual going to a

party, and so the consequence there's various possibilities, and so

we want to help them process the consequences, right?

The thought is I'm gonna fit in.

I'm gonna be cool.

I'm gonna be like, whatever it would be, whatever that

thought is underneath it.

And the questions that we can use to help people

help teenagers.

Either process that already outcome that's happened.

Or the one that there going towards us.

What were you hoping to gain or what?

Are you hoping thio experience from this?

What do you think would happen if or after you,

Right? And so if sometimes when we're working with teenagers,

they do some crazy things because their teenage mind is

rolling and it is a fully working gas pedal.

But the brakes have yet to be installed, right?

And so we have these consequences that air coming up

in that they're processing.

And so asking them, you know what has happened since

that you did not forsee your You wouldn't want to

repeat. What was your plan If Blank happened, right?

These questions come from Jeremy and Jerusha Clark and their

book your teenagers.

Not crazy, but again engaging with these questions.

Let the teenager then contemplate what the consequence could be

connected to the thought and the situation.

If you're going to a party and you're wanting to

fit in and then you do something that you probably

wouldn't have done if you felt really secure in yourself.

You know what we're hoping to gain?

While I was hoping to gain friends, I was hoping

to gain popularity.

Or I was, you know, what did you think would

happen if you had done that?

Well, I just thought that it would be no big

deal because other people did, or after you all.

I just thought that it would just go away and

it wouldn't matter anymore And what's happened since?

Well, now my teachers found out, and now I'm in

trouble at school, and I didn't want that to happen.

And how people think that this is like who I

am all the time right?

And so giving them spaces to process the thoughts that

happen in those situations that then influence the consequence.

And so that's the situation thought, consequence kind of model

or layout that helps us just kind of process with

people in journey with people and even process her own

thoughts and consequences to the situations that we've had.

So I hope this has been helpful, and if you

have any questions about that, feel free to reach out.

Thanks, but

S-T-C

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