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Essay 1 - Thesis and Topic Sentences

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Amanda Haruch

on 29 September 2016

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Transcript of Essay 1 - Thesis and Topic Sentences

While each ad features a woman in her mid-thirties, the type the Eileen Fisher ad is designed for is different than the one the Fashion Bug ad is designed for. The Eileen Fisher ad appears in the New Yorker magazine. This magazine is presumably read by business woman in positions of power. The fact that her red dress makes her greatly stand out from the background says she uses what she wears to make a statement and stand out. She is not afraid of making decisions or breaking out of the norm. For example, her pink scarf clashes with her red dress. This tells me this woman, or those who would shop at Eileen Fisher, are not afraid to be different. This ad is not trying to sell the specific dress featured; it is trying to sell the brand. It is telling women, “If you shop here, it means you are well off.” The chicness of the ad, including the lack of many words, gives the illusion that this woman is the center of attention, telling the viewer of this ad, “If you shop here, you will be the center of attention.” Her hair down is not styled, telling the viewer of the ad, who may not have much time on her hands, “If you shop here, you don’t have to put much more effort into your look.” To this woman sexy is bold and mysterious. Sexy is being in charge and standing out. Sexy is screwing conformity and allowing your outfit to make a statement about who you are. Sexy is subtle. This is the kind of sexy that our magazine appeals to.

What is a thesis?
Examples of thesis
Your thesis typically appears
in your INTRODUCTION paragraph.
Every one of your topic sentences
should relate directly to your thesis.
It is (usually) one sentence that sums up the argument you will try to make throughout your whole paper.
(sentences from your papers)
1. Take out your draft of your essay.
Topic Sentences
2. Read your first paragraph. Does it have a thesis in it?
If it does, highlight it.
3. Read the rest of your essay.
5. Rewrite a thesis for your essay. Make sure it
a) provides different sides to the issue
b) clearly states an opinion/argument
c) explains why/serves as a map to your readers
d) is specific
e) is not obvious
4. Look at the conclusion of your essay.
Is there a sentence that might work better as your thesis?
If it does, highlight it.
This activity is meant to help you develop a STRONG thesis for your paper.

Once you have a strong thesis, you will have an easier time figuring out the content of your paper.

If you know WHAT you are arguing for, you will know HOW to support your argument.
Definition: A statement or theory that is put forward as a premise to be maintained or proved.

Serves as a map for your paper. (Usually by addressing WHY.)
What are you
trying to explore?
So what goes in an introduction paragraph?
Introduce the context
Set up similarities/differences
Are modern men “manly” enough? This question was proposed in New York Times Room for Debate. There are many professionals that responded to this captivating question. “Where are the Meat and Potato Men?” “Stop the Madness,” and “’Manly’ is a Lifestyle, Not a Look” are just a few articles written in reaction to this enquiry. Each of the articles had different persuasive strategies, rhetorical strategies, and tones to persuade the reader that their definition for a “macho” man is the correct one. Each author presents their own thought-out definition of a “manly” man. Each definition was different and had support to make it a valid statement. This brings forth the question, what is the definition of a “manly” man? Although these articles persuade the reader that “manly” men are either a tough or kind person, I think masculine men are tough yet kind. None of the authors sufficiently defined a “manly” man.
ccording to the assignment sheet:
the readers' interest
Room for Debate
Issue at hand
purpose statement
argues an opinion
initial mapping and forecasting
in the arguments
Introduce the articles & context
Introduces sides of argument
For this assignment:
Decide what main claim or you are going to explore, and map the avenues through which you will explore it.
All three authors take different sides on the debate: "Should college be free?".
It should be specific.
Not a generalization.
I should not be able to plop it into any ol' paper.
It should show your readers something that is NOT obvious.
Does it highlight the different points of view on the topic?
Is it specific?
Does it make a claim or an argument?
While Smith and Cruz believe that college should not be free because ______, Olsen believes that college should be free because _______. After considering multiple points of view on the topic, I have decided that college should be free because _____, _____, and _____.
Your name Date

_____ Hook

_____ Introduces the context & topic at hand

_____ Introduces the authors & articles

_____ Introduces different sides of the argument

_____ Thesis
1. Take out a blank sheet of paper.
2. Make your sheet of paper look like this:
3. Read your introduction paragraph.
4. Give yourself a check for each one you have.
5. Write the sentence(s) down underneath each category.
6. If you are missing one, create a sentence for that spot.
7. Re-write your introductory paragraph in a way that gives you a stronger, less wordy thesis with all of the essential components.
What is the topic sentence?
The topic sentence is the first sentence in a paragraph.

What does it do?
It introduces the main idea of the paragraph.

How do I write one?
Summarize the main idea of your paragraph. Indicate to the reader what your paragraph will be about.

First, Canada has an excellent health care system. All Canadians have access to medical services at a reasonable price. Second, Canada has a high standard of education. Students are taught by well-trained teachers and are encouraged to continue studying at university. Finally, Canada's cities are clean and efficiently managed. Canadian cities have many parks and lots of space for people to live. As a result, Canada is a desirable place to live.
There are three reasons why Canada is one of the best countries in the world.
which of these sentences is the topic sentence?
a) So set aside the remote, step outside with your pet, and have some fun al fresco style – we've got plenty of ideas to get you started!

b) A breath of fresh air can do wonders for both you and your pet.

c) Outdoor activities not only provide exercise and mental stimulation, but also help curb bad behaviors by giving your furry friend a chance to release excess energy.
a) Make sure to have plenty of water on hand along with bags to clean up after any messes, and keep a close eye on the group to make sure everyone plays nice.

b) Find a dog park in your area to meet and greet with other pups, or if you have your own fenced-in yard, invite friends or family members over with their pets for an afternoon of backyard fun.

c) Play dates are a great way for dogs to keep their socialization skills sharp.

d) Social networking sites such as Facebook and Ning can also be a great resource for finding a doggie meet-up in your area, even ones based on specific breeds.
which of these sentences is the topic sentence?
Every sentence in the paragraph following your topic sentence should relate to the topic sentence.
Content of each paragraph
Go through your essay, and give each paragraph a number.

Highlight each of your topic sentences.

Rewrite the topic sentences that don't serve as a summary for the paragraph. (numbering each one w/ the suitable paragraph #).

If you feel you don't need to rewrite a sentence, provide a justification for why that topic sentence is already strong.
Because each topic sentence should relate to your thesis, all of the content in each paragraph should also relate to your thesis.
Therefore, everything in your essay should be relevant to the argument you are making.
1. Pick one paragraph from your essay (not your introduction).

2. Read the topic sentence.

3. Does the topic sentence directly relate to your thesis?
3a) If not, rewrite your topic sentence.

4. Highlight all of the information in that paragraph that is relevant to your topic sentence.

5. Rewrite your paragraph including only information that is relevant to your topic sentence and relevant to your thesis.

6. Add a sentence at the end that reiterates how that paragraph supports your thesis (without saying "This paragraph supports my thesis because...").
and how it relates to the rest of your paper.
Last but not least, don't forget to proofread!
Is everything in this paragraph relevant to the topic sentence?

Is there any sentences we can remove?
Does it state something that is not obvious?
Is it specific?
Does it make a claim or an argument?
Does it state something that is not obvious?
Does it serve as a map for the rest of the essay?
Does it serve as a map for the rest of the essay?
At the end of each paragraph, you should provide the link back to your thesis (reiterate how that paragraph links back to your thesis).
Does it highlight the different points of view on the topic?
While Smith and Cruz believe that college should not be free because ______, Olsen believes that college should be free because _______. After considering multiple points of view on the topic, I have decided that college should be free because _____, _____, and _____.
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