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"Graded Paper" Mark Halliday

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Sydney Katz

on 27 March 2014

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Transcript of "Graded Paper" Mark Halliday

"Graded Paper"
Literary Elements
You are not me, finally, and though this is an awkward problem, involving the inescapable fact that you are so young, so young it is also a delightful provocation.
Meaning of Title
Theme of the Poem
word choice emphasizes his personal opinion on the essay
shows the original harshness when reading over essay
critical mindset
helps notice a change in author's viewpoint of essay
goes from nit picky to more sympathetic and understanding of errors made

the structure of the poem is comparable to a circle.
it starts off with one idea, digresses to a different concept but then returns to the beginning idea.
also after much criticism there is one line that notes a simple repair of grammar followed by a stanza of encomiums
Opinions, religions, and ideas are commonly criticized.
everything that's wrong is picked apart, piece by piece
need to conform
change ideas to match those around us.
People we respect or admire influence the way we think and act.
one of mankind's greatest struggles: to accept others opinions.
author criticizes the students ideas, but accepts their beliefs.
author applauds students for speaking their mind and developing own judgement
Because youth is short lived people need to accept youth's minor flaws
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Vol XCIII, No. 311

author initially starts out castigating the student for the mistakes that they made throughout the process
tone lightens up because the author becomes more understanding
eventually comes to the realization that the student is still young
has time to make errors and learn from them to improve
Rhetorical questioning
teacher is questioning the choices the student made
trying to understand the mindset of the student
emphasizing his point of acknowledging where he thinks the student needs to improve
As a whole, the essay was good and you had intriguing ideas that caught the reader's eye

In some areas, you weren't very clear or too vague with your ideas and grammar wasn't that good
Likes how they used examples to back up their statements, but thinks that the examples need to lead to a stronger argument
Questioning the student's comparisons on the topic, as well as their word choice, which ends up impacting the piece
Wondering if the writer's opinions are accurate and can be backed up because history seems to show that the status of women is still the same for the most part
The grader is continuing to judge the choice the writer had for examples, saying how in this case, it doesn't make sense. He's also looking for the writer to make stronger points to improve their writing and the essay as a whole.

Continues to mention small errors that were made, while also saying that despite the fact that it seemed he was going to give the writer a bad grade based off of all the comments made, he thought that the writer had an unique, effective style that overall made the piece good.

The teacher acknowledges the fact that the student doesn't think the same way as him, but at the same time, he likes how this newer generation is willing to be different and have different opinions. He accepts that younger people still have time to learn from prior errors.

"Graded Paper" By Mark Halliday
: Teacher grading an essay
: Aspects of life are highly judged and criticized; everyone is constantly over-analyzed by peers and/or authority figures.
Paraphrasing the Stanzas
On the whole this is quite successful work:

your main argument about the poet's ambivalence?
how he loves the very things he attacks?
is most persuasive and always engaging

At the same time,
there are spots
where your thinking becomes, for me,
alarmingly opaque, and your syntax seems to jump
backwards through unnecessary hoops,

as on p. 2 where you speak of "precognitive awareness
not yet disestablished by the shell that encrusts
each thing that a person actually says"
or at the top of p. 5 where your discussion of
"subverbal undertow miming the subversion of self-belief
woven counter to desire's outreach"
leaves me groping for firmer footholds.
(I'd have said it differently,
or rather, said something else.)
And when you say that women "could not fulfill themselves" (p.6)
"in that era" (only forty years ago, after all!)
are you so sure that the situation is so different today?

Also, how does Whitman bluff his way into
your penultimate paragraph? He is the last poet
I would have quoted in this context!

What plausible way of behaving
does the passage you quote represent? Don't you think
literature should ultimately reveal possibilities for action?

Please notice how I've repaired your use of semicolons

And yet, despite what may seem my cranky response,
I do admire the freshness of
your thinking and your style; there is
a vitality here; your sentences thrust themselves forward
with a confidence as impressive as it is cheeky. . . .

You are not
me, finally,
and though this is an awkward problem, involving
the inescapable fact that you are so young, so young
it is also a delightful provocation.
Literary Elements Continued
Mark Halliday uses a comparison of time
he identified that women's fulfillment not being satisfied is not different from today.
he also makes a point to say that because the author is young, her work is exceptional.
by saying this he is overlooking some of her works flaws and focusing more on her skills.
Literary Elements Cont... Cont.
Full transcript