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Copy of Bros Before Hos: Pressures of Masculinity
Transcript of Copy of Bros Before Hos: Pressures of Masculinity
By: Kayla Burke, Jennifer Noth, Alex Suriano
The collection of attitudes, values, and traits that together composes what it means to be a man
What do you think the Guy Code is?
Urban Dictionary Guy Code
The code by which each and every man must and will follow. The code is for a man’s eyes only; any woman found guilty of reading the guy code will no longer be communicated with by any member of the male gender, unless rated an 8 or higher on the official scale of hotness, and offering a sexual favour for every rule she has read. Any man found breaking the guy code will no longer be considered a man for the next 24 hours. This includes no sex, no beer, no sports, no bars, no trucks, no video games, and unfortunately, no porn.
Real Guy's Top Ten List
1. "Boys Don't Cry"
2. "It's Better to be Mad than Sad"
3. "Don't Get Mad- Get Even"
4. "Take It Like a Man"
5. "He Who has the Most Toys When he Dies, Wins"
6. "Just Do It" or "Ride or Die"
7. "Size Matters"
8. "I Don't Stop to Ask for Directions"
9. "Nice Guys Finish Last"
10. "It's All Good"
Guy Code Rules
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually marry her.
When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.
Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.
A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case.
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional)
If you ever compliment a guy's six pack, you better be talking about his choice of beverage.
Came up with four basic rules of masculinity
1. "No Sissy Stuff!" Being a man means not being a sissy, not being perceived as weak, effeminate, or gay. Masculinity is the relentless repudiation of the feminine.
2. "Be a Big Wheel" This rule refers to centrality of success and power in the definition of masculinity. Masculinity is measured more by wealth, power, and status than by any particular body part.
3. "Be a Sturdy Oak" What makes a man is that he is reliable in a crisis. And what makes him so relaible in a crisis is not that he is able to respond fully and appropriately to the situation at hand, but rather that he resembles an inanimate object. A rock, a pillar, a species of tree.
4. "Give 'em Hell" Exude an aura of daring and aggression. Live life out on the edge. Take risks. Go for it. Pay no attention to what others think
Breaking Guy Code
Negative Playbook of Guyland
According to Kimmel, basically everything that is perceived as gay goes in this book. To avoid things in the book 'make sure you walk, talk and act in a different way from the gay stereotype.' This includes: dressing terribly, eating lots of meat and artery -clogging meals, showing no taste in art or music, showing no emotions at all, never listening to a thing a woman is saying, having an unquenchable sexaul interest, etc.
The fear that people might mispercieve you as gay.Kimmel says 'the single cardinal rule of manhood, the one from which all other characteristics -wealth, power, status, strength, physicality- are derived to offer constant proof that you are not gay. Kimmel also states that homosexuality is almost a short hand for "unmanliness".
Masculinity Passed Down
Kimmel says that guys hear the voices of the men in their lives - fathers, coaches, brothers, grandfathers, uncles, priests - to inform their ideas of masculinity.
Why Does Guy Code Exist?
When asked where guys obtain these ideals, here are some of their responses:
"Oh, definitely, my dad...he was always riding my ass, telling me I had to be tough and strong to make it in this world."
"My older brothers were always on my case...they were like, always ragging on me, calling me a pussy if I didn't want to play football or wrestle.
"The first thing I think of is my coach...any fatigue, any weakness, any sign that being hit actually hurt...he'd completely humiliate us for showing anything but complete toughness. I'm sure he thought he was building up strength and abililty to play, but it wore me out trying to pretend all the time, to suck it up and just take it."
Starts at a Young Age
Every since Freud, we've believed that the key to boys' development is separation, that the boy must switch his identification from mother to father in order to "become" a man.
Boys learn that their connection to mother will emasculate them, turn them into Mama's Boys. And so they learn to act as if they have made that leap by pushing away from their mothers.
Have you had an specific times when you felt pressured to be more manly/less emotional? And if so, then by who?
Masculinity and Media
A lot of our ideas or masculinity are either created or reinforced by the media.
Consequences of Stepping Out of the Guy Code
Some examples of the stereotypes of masculinity portrayed by the media:
Men are tough and don't show much emotion
Men like dumb humor
Men have an unquenchable sexual desire
Men like violence
Some Examples from Media
Can you think of any other stereotypes or guidelines that these clips or even the media in general sets for us?
The Media Awareness Network reported a study done by a group in California called Children Now. In the report, they identified what the media portrays of men:
the majority of male characters in media are heterosexual
male characters are more often associated with the public sphere of work, rather than the private sphere of the home, and issues and problems related to work are more significant than personal issues
non-white male characters are more likely to experience personal problems and are more likely to use physical aggression or violence to solve those problems
In the video Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity, Jackson Katz argues that although the media is not the cause of violent behavior in men and boys, it is often used as an expression of masculinity
As we move throuh our lives, society demands different denger performances from us and rewards, tolerates, or punishes us differently for conformity to, or disgression from, social norms. As children, and later adults, learn the rules of membership in society, they come to see themselves in terms they have learned from the people around them.
In an article by Willem A. Arrindell, a professor in the department of clinical and developmental psychology at the University of Groningen, he states 'By implication, masculine gender role stress may result from excessive reliance on culturally approved masculine schemata, which hamper objective appraisal of threatening situations and permit men a limited range of gender-linked approved coping strategies. This, in turn, may predispose men to behavior patterns that are unhealthy or dysfunctional.'
Kimmel discusses in the article how boys learn how the maternal connections will emasculate them. 'Along the way they supress all the feelings they associate with the maternal- compassion, nuturance, vulnerability, dependency. This supression and repudation is the origin of the Boy Code. It's what turns those happy, energetic, playful, and emotionally expressive five-year-olds into sullen, withdrawn, and despondent nine-year-olds.'
In the article, Kimmel talks about how young men are taking risks in order to prove their manhood. He gives a statistic stating that 'Men ages 19 to 29 are three times less likely to wear seat belts than women the same age. Before they turn 19 though, young men are actually more likely to wear seat belts than women the same age
Men: Do you think that these stereotypes are a good thing or bad thing?
Do you think that you would do anything differently if this “Man code” wasn’t in place?
Women: Do you think women have the same pressures men do? Why or why not?
Do you ever see men under these pressures? Do they open up to you because being female you are seen as more open and understanding?
What is the earliest time/ age you can remember being pressured to act more masculine?
This is a comedy sketch where men are acting feminine. The reason it is seen as comical is because men typically do not display this much emotion let alone discuss it with other men. These behaviors are seen as unmanly to our society. These are some examples of things against the Guy Code and that would be in the Negative Playbook of Guyland
"My older brothers were always on my case", says Drew, a twenty-four year-old University of Massachusetts grad. "They were like, always ragging on me, calling me a pussy, if I didn't want to play football or wrestle. If I just wanted to hang out and like play my Xbox, they were constantly in my face."
"It's not like I want to stay in the box," says Jeff, a first year Cornell student at my work-shop. "But as soon as you step outside it, even for a second, all the other guys are like, 'What are you, dude, a fag?'...I suppose as I get older, I'll get more secure, and feel like I couldn't care less what other guys say, but now, in my fraternity, on this campus, man, I'd lose everything."
What Would Happen to a Man Who Violates the "Guy Code"?
"I'd be ostracized."
"Get beat up."
"Lose my self-esteem"
"I'd probably pull a Columbine. I'd show them that they couldn't get away with calling me that shit."
Arrindell, Willem A. "Masculine Gender Role Stress." Psychiatric Times 22.11 (2005): 31. Print.
Devor, Aaron H. "Becoming Members of Society; Learning the Social Meanings of Gender." Rereading America: Cultural Contexts for Critical Thinking and Writing. By Gary Colombo, Robert Cullen, and Bonnie Lisle. Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martins, 2010. 527-36. Print.
"How the Media Define Masculinity." Media Awareness Network | Réseau éducation Médias. Media Awareness Network. Web. 10 Nov. 2011.
Kimmel, Michael. ""Bros BeforeHos": The Guy Code." Rereading America: Cultural Contexts for Critical Thinking and Writing. By Gary Colombo, Robert Cullen, and Bonnie Lisle. Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martins, 2010. 608-17. Print.