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Back to Basics: Communication 101

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Caleb Dawson

on 3 March 2014

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Transcript of Back to Basics: Communication 101

Back to Basics
Interpersonal Communication and Relationships
"Your ability to communicate effectively in close personal relationships influences your psychological and physical health, your identity and happiness, your social and moral development, your ability to cope with stress and misfortunes, and the quality and meaning of your life" (126).
Developing Interpersonal Relationships
"Significant and meaningful relationships develop when you make a positive impression and have satisfying conversations with others" (128).
Sharing Yourself with Others
Self disclosure- sharing with others personal info, opinions, and emotions that would not be otherwise known to them
The Johari Window
Interpersonal communication: occurs when a limited number of people, usually two, interact and generate meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages
Relationship: refers to a continuing and meaningful attachment connection to another person
Personal relationship: a relationship characterized by a high level of emotional connection and commitment
Professional relationship: a relationship characterized by connections with people with whom you associate and work to accomplish a goal or perform a task
Impression management
Strategies we use to shape and control the way other people see us
Most common impression management strategy
A strategy for being seen as competent
Offering yourself as a good example or a model of noteworthy behavior
A humble request or appeal for help
Goal is to provoke fear
Goal of integration is to be liked by others
Goal is to be respected by others
Goal is to be seen as honest and moral
Goal is compassion from others
Demonstrates a willingness and ability to cause personal harm
Effective Conversations
1.Starting a conversation
Conversation: an interaction, often informal, in which we exchange speaking and listening roles with another person
2. Maintaining a conversation
3. Listening in conversations
4. Ending a conversation
Schutz's FIRO Theory
Strengthening Personal Relationships
All about INTIMACY
Intimacy- “the feeling or state of knowing someone deeply”
Intimacy depends on ability to...
disclose personal information
Embrace mundaneness of everyday activity and interests
Accept unideal experiences
Begins with LIKING

Verbal Cues
Nonverbal Cues
Compatible or Conflicting
Who am I?
Who are they?
What are the expectations?
John Gottman's Relationship Conclusions
People with good friends usually have less stress and live longer
Longevity is determined more by a person's state of close relationships than by genetics
People with good marriages live longer
Loners are twice as likely to die from all causes over a five year period than those who enjoy close friendships
Expressing yourself Appropriately
The process of sharing
personal information
, and
with others that would not otherwise be known to them.

Strategies for Effective
Focus on the present,
not the past

Be descriptive,
not judgmental

Disclose your feelings,
not just the facts

Defensive Behavior:
reflect our instinct to protect ourselves when someone physically or verbally attacks us.

Supportive Behavior:
create a climate in which self-disclosure and responsiveness to feedback benefit both parties


Seeks control of the situation
Seeks a mutually agreeable solution
Manipulates others; hides or disguises personal motives
Makes direct and open comments
Appears detached; withdraw; won't take sides
Accepts and understands another person's feelings
Social Penetration Theory:
describes the process of relationship bonding in which individuals move from superficial communication to deeper communication.

Expressing Emotions Appropriately
Physical feeling you have when reacting to a situation.
Role in how you develop, maintain and strengthen relationships.
Psychoevolutionary Theory
by Robert Plutchik
Each basic emotion has a range of feelings from mild to intense.
Some blend two or more emotions
Emotional Intelligence
The capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in relationships.
Emotional Support
Specific lines of communicative behavior enacted by one party with the intent of helping another cope effectively with emotional distress.
Communicate Intention Clearly
Enhance clarity
Intensify perceived sincerity

Protect the Other Person's Self-Esteem
Don't imply the other person is incapable of solving the problem
Try to encourage and praise
Offer Person Centered Messages
The degree to which a person validates a distressed persons feelings and encourages him or her to talk about the upsetting event.
Help develop a deeper understanding and embellish the situation
Avoid counterproductive strategies
Do NOT tell them they are wrong
Discussion Questions
Have you ever experienced someone acting emotionally inappropriate? Example?
What other strategies do you think are important when self-disclosing?
Name one of the five impression management strategies
Give a verbal and nonverbal example of how a person could show that they like someone else.
What are the four panes in the Johari window?
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