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Marriage, Courtship & Dating
Transcript of Marriage, Courtship & Dating
By: Alicia De Leon 4A
What is Courtship?
Courtship: a period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship, especially with a view to marriage.
Taken VERY seriously
Wanted Parents', God's and Society's approval of their relationship
Courtship V.S. Today's Dating
not taken seriously
no commitment is necessary
not for long period of times
Public Displays of Affection
considered more romantic
Commitment is a must
Long periods of time
No Public Displays of Affection
Little to no Liberty
Rules for Courtship
Had to be in the same social class
The ladies had to have a chaperone everywhere
Gentlemen had to be introduced to the ladies
Couples couldn't be alone
No Public Displays of Affection
No sexual contact was allowed before marriage
Innocence was demanded from the ladies
Courtship ends when there is no future for the couple together or when they get engaged.
Flirting & Courtship Practices 101
Gave ladies his card after meeting her or dancing with her
Being kind and fair
Don't start anything too fast
Had to play hard to get
No mix signals
Used objects to flirt like fans, gloves, etc.
Gentlemen had to ask lady's father for permission to marry her
Gentleman presented his lady with a diamond engagement ring that symbolized the innocence of the young lady
Engagements usually lasted 6 months to 2 years.
During this time, the couple are allowed to be a bit more intimate and were allowed to be more expressive of their feelings.
They were allowed to:
Hold hands in public
Walk alone together
Take unchaperoned rides
Give chaste kisses
Victorian Era Relationships
Weddings were important to the Bride, Groom and their families.
Day of Wedding
Color of Brides Dress
Rhymes & Chants
Honeymoon was kept a secret
groom carry the bride over the threshold to their new house
It was illegal to marry your deceased wife’s sister but you could marry first cousins
Victorians were encouraged to marry within the same class
A woman entering into the institute of marriage had to be equipped with a dowry. The husband-to-be had to prove that he could support his new bride in the lifestyle she was accustomed to.
An unmarried woman could inherit money and property after she reached the age of 21, but once married, all control would revert to her husband.
Women married because they had a lack of options; they were not formerly educated, and were only instructed in domestic duties. They needed someone to support them, and were encouraged to marry and have children
Women in the Victorian society had one main role:
Marry a choice suitor
Take part in their husbands’ interests and business.
Learn housewife skills such as cleaning, cooking, etc.)
Be "Idle and Ignorant"
Men had a harder role in Victorian Era:
Be Respectful & Impress the Rest
Provide for his wife and children
Protect his family
Be Intelligent, Responsible and Successful
Views on Divorce
1857: Matrimonial Causes Act
: allows divorce—but only in limited instances: Imposes matrimonial double standard: Permits men to divorce on grounds of adultery, but not women.
Divorce was expensive and was hard to do. A long process needed to be followed and specific reasons must be given to divorce your spouse.
Men: accuse wife of committing adultery
Women: must have proof and witnesses of husband committing adultery, domestic violence and excessive cruelty.
"Courting the Victorian Woman." Courting the Victorian Woman. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 May 2014.
"Flirting and Courting Rituals of The Vic." Flirting and Courting Rituals of The Vic. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 May 2014.
"How Is Courtship Different than Dating?" Institute in Basic Life Principles. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 May 2014.
"Marriage in the Victorian Era." Marriage in the Victorian Era. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 May 2014.
"Victorian Flirts Flirting in the Victorian Era Dating Advice." Victorian Flirts Flirting in the Victorian Era Dating Advice. N.p., n.d. Web. 9 May 2014.
"Victorian Ideals." Victorian Ideals. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 May 2014.
"The Victorian Wedding-Part 1." The Victorian Wedding-Part 1. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 May 2014.
"Women and Divorce in the Victorian Era." Women and Divorce in the Victorian Era. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 May 2014.