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3: Limiting Beliefs: VAKOG
Transcript of 3: Limiting Beliefs: VAKOG
Most beliefs are formed unconsciously, without our knowing about it. We didn’t necessarily decide to agree to these beliefs because we wanted to.
It’s not like one day we woke up and thought:
“Man, you know what would be awesome? To go out today and repeat a bunch of thoughts that are going to turn into hard and fast conclusions that will keep me from experiencing the life I want. Yeah, I think that’s what I’ll do today.” Visual
Gustatory 13 NLP Meta-Programs for Understanding People Meta Program #1 – Toward or Away “All human behavior revolves around the urge to gain pleasure or avoid pain. You pull away from a lighted match in order to avoid the pain of burning your hand. You sit and watch a beautiful sunset because you get pleasure from the glorious celestial show as day glides into night.” Meta-Program #2 – External or Internal Frame of Reference “Ask someone else how he know when he’s done a good job. For some people, the proof comes from the outside. The boss pats you on the back and says your work was great. You get a raise. You win a big award. Your work is noticed and applauded by your peers. When you get that sort of external approval, you know your work is good. That’s an external frame of reference. For others, the proof comes from inside. They ‘just know inside’ when they’ve done well.”
If you ever give a compliment and it seems like somebody does not believe you, it might be because they are using an internal frame of reference. Meta-Program #3 – Sorting By Self or Sorting by Others “Some people look at human interactions primarily in terms of what’s in it for them personally, some in terms of what they can do for themselves or others. Of course, people don’t always fall into one extreme or the other. If you sort only by self, you become a self-absorbed egotist. If you sort only by others, you become a martyr.”
In this case, do you first think about what’s in it for you, or do you think about what’s in it for others “This meta-program determines how you sort information to learn, understand, and the like. Some people respond to the world by finding sameness. They look at things and see what they have in common. They’re matchers. Other people are mismatchers — difference people. There are two kinds of them. One type looks at the world and sees how things are different … The other kind of mismatcher sees differences with exceptions. He’s like a matcher who finds sameness with exceptions in reverse – he sees the differences first, and then he’ll add the things they have in common.”
If you ever find somebody that always seems to have to disagree with you, now you know why. Meta-Program #5 – Convincer Strategy “The convincer strategy has two parts. To figure out what consistently convinces someone, you must first find out what sensory building blocks he needs to become convinced, and then you must discover how often he has to receive these stimuli before becoming convinced.”
This meta-program involves what it takes to convince someone of something, and how many times the info must be presented to win them over. Meta-Program #6 – Possibility vs. Necessity “Ask someone why he went to work for his present company or why he bought his current car or house. Some people are motivated primarily by necessity, rather than by what they want. They do something because they must. They’re not pulled to take action by what is possible. They’re not looking for infinite varieties of experience. They go through life taking what comes and what is available. When they need a new job or a new house or a new car or even a new spouse, they go out and accept what is available. Others are motivated to look for possibilities. They’re motivated less by what they have to do than by what they want to do. They seek options, experiences, choices, paths.” Meta-Program #7 – Independent, Cooperative and Proximity Working Styles “Everyone has his own strategy for work. Some people are not happy unless they’re independent. They have great difficulty working closely with other people and can’t work well under a great deal of supervision. They have to run their own show. Others function best as a part of a group. We call their strategy a cooperative one. They want to share responsibility for any task they take on. Still others have a proximity strategy, which is somewhere in between. They prefer to work with other people while maintaining a sole responsibility for a task. They’re in charge but not alone."
By understanding this pattern, you can figure out where your most enjoyable work environments would be. In Unlimited Power : The New Science Of Personal Achievement, Tony Robbins writes about meta-programs that people use to sort and make sense of the world. Introvert — Extrovert If a past experience burns a negative imprint into your life, how can you reprogram the memory to be positive? Build new anchors.
Rekindle positive memories. Comfortable in the spotlight. Low Chunk — High Chunk Optimist Pessimist Big/High chunk thinking is useful for envisioning, perspective and setting direction. It can "take in" broad patterns and trends and make associations between them for the benefit of the whole.
Small/Low chunk thinking is useful for executing on a plan and making progress in manageable steps. It can be an important part of optimism and a person's perception of having the capability to move toward larger goals.In NLP, the process of taking a thought or perception pattern to bigger chunks is called "chunking up." The process of moving to smaller chunks is called "chunking down."Problems arise in big chunk thinking when small negative events are overgeneralized, or chunked up, to the point where they are perceived as pervasive or permanent. Chunking up is part of the process of "depressing" (that's "depression" denominalized) when it's combined with associated negative experience. It is also involved in "awfulizing" -- taking something relatively benign and interpreting it in more and more "awful" ways. Logic Feeling Foreground Background Other problems with the overuse of big chunk thinking, include ineffective dreaming -- having lots of big ideas but never doing anything about them -- grandiosity, and passivity.
Problems arise in small chunk thinking when context is lost and one can no longer "see the forest for the trees." Chunking down is part of the process of "obsessing" -- repeated choiceless attention to a specific small frame of reference or intention. This would also be the pattern for "penny wise, pound foolish." When we stay out of judgement and remain teachable, our head and heart aligns for resonance. ...and we connect deeply to our source of power. Stop being so negative. A real optimist would say, "Be positive." We might think of Meta Programs as "habits of thought" or "programs of attention" Where do YOU stand? attention is directed either toward what they want or away from what you don't want. It also applies to a person's ability to know what they want in the first place What you want? Or what you DON'T want? Best Case - Worst Case STEP 1: Identify the Meta Program you wish to change.
a. Specifically identify and fully describe when, where and with whom you are using it that does not serve you well.
b. Specifically identify and fully describe how it does not serve you well. Changing Meta Tags and overcoming limiting beliefs STEP 2: Describe fully the Meta Program you would prefer.
a. Specifically identify and fully describe when, where and with whom you would like this new Meta Program to govern your perceptions, awareness and consciousness.
b. Specifically identify and fully describe how it will server you better. STEP 3: Try it on.
a. Physically change your location to another chair or standing spot.
b. Imagine adopting the new Meta Program in a fully associated way.
c. Pretend to use it, sorting, perceiving, attending, thinking, feeling, etc.
d. Notice how it feels, how things look, how it seems, what thoughts occur to you. Feel free to walk around with it a bit if you like, experiencing what it would be like to use this new Meta Program. Expect that it might seem a little strange at first because it is new and unfamiliar. Notice what other feelings besides discomfort arise with it.e. Imagine some specific contexts where you think this Meta Program will serve you better. STEP 4: First Ecology Check
a. Step Out of the 'try on' experience and move to a new location, leaving it behind.
b. In this new location, adopt the state of mind of an detached but interested observer who can review, from a distance, the 'try on' experience you just had.
c. Check it out. What occurs to you right away?
d. Check it out from a standpoint of the low to mid neurological levels. That is, what will this new Meta program do for you in terms of perceiving, behaving, capabilities, beliefs and values.
e. Check it out at the identity level. What "kind of person" would it begin to make you?
f. Check out its broader effects. What effects would it have on the rest of your life and other people?g. What effects would it have on your spirituality? STEP 5: Second Ecology Check
a. Move back to the original physical location -- where you were when you were doing steps 1 and 2.
b. Go inside yourself and respectfully submit this question to your entire inner being and all your parts: "Does any part of me have any objection to making this change, or to making this change in this way?"
c. Allow yourself to be still and quiet for a few minutes as you openly wait for any new thoughts or objections to make themselves known to you.
d. If there are any objections, acknowledge them and say an internal "Thank you" for the communication. Make a note of them and continue.
e. Specifically identify how, when, where and with whom the old Meta Program served you in some positive way(s). What secondary gains does it provide that will be important to preserve?
f. How will you preserve them? STEP 6: Take Care of Ecology
a. Address any conflicts, objections or incongruities. Use any other NLP processes that may be useful and appropriate, such as reframing or redefining, so that all objections are taken care of and you have resolved the old emotions, thoughts, beliefs, decisions, etc.
b. If you have difficulty addressing any of these incongruities, if any are persistent or difficult to resolve, Stop Here -- for now. You can return to this process after they have been thoroughly addressed. Consider exploring other NLP processes to address them in different ways. If you can use help with this, make arrangements to consult with a professional NLP practitioner until they are resolved.
c. When you're "good to go" and all of your systems give you the green light, continue. What do you see? STEP 7: Permission
a.Give yourself permission to install the new Meta Program for a specific period of time. This can be anywhere from several hours, to several days, to a week or two.
b. Make the internal agreement that at the end of that time, you can decide to keep the new Meta Program, extend it for a longer trial period, or switch back to the old one.
c. At this point in the process, a person can install a new Meta Program simply by giving permission to use it.
d. To strengthen it, move back to the physical location you used during the "Try it on" process (Step 3), and "map it across" to your original physical location. This is done by fully associating back into the "Try it on" state, getting the full sense of it again, then making internal arrangements to create a mental symbol or a few words which will represent the experience. Then walk the symbol or words over to your original position and take a few moments to accept and integrate the symbol or words into your consciousness. Allow it to "self-organize" in its own way, and allow yourself to experience the new Meta Program again. STEP 8: Final Ecology Checka. Go inside and check to make sure all is well and you are excited and looking forward to using this new Meta Program for the time period you have specified.
b. If any last minute ecology issues arise, temporarily put a 'hold' on your permission, walk the symbol or words back to the "Try it on" location, leave them there, and return to your original position and state. Then go back to Step 6.
c. When all is well and you are "good to go," continue. STEP 9: Future Pace
a. Practice, in your imagination, using the Meta Program in as many future contexts as you like, until it feels comfortable and familiar.
b. Return to the present and enjoy your new Meta Program! Open your mind to new perspectives. "All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs."
Anthony Robbins Meta Program #4: Matcher or Mis-matcher