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TOK Presentation: Arrange vs love marriage

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nikkita seth

on 13 November 2013

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Transcript of TOK Presentation: Arrange vs love marriage

Personal Experience
Marriage stability:
To what extent can
arranged marriages make more successful marriages?

Quality of marriage: To what extent is there real love existing in arranged marriages?

Justify whether overlooking the compassionate love which
composes more of deep affection in love marriage is rather better than spending rest of the life with an unknown stranger in arranged marriage or a marriage of convenience in India.

Questionnaire


Survey: Arranged Marriage
Survey: Love Marriage
PROS
Arranged marriages prevents people from marriages based solely on physical passion.
In arranged marriages, couples more possibly learn to love over time than leaving love entirely to chance.
CONS
The success of the couple being a fit is as good as flipping a coin.
In Hinduism and Asian communities the system of arranged marriage originated mainly as the tool of the upper caste people to protect their community and to maintain their social status.
One of the social evil associated with arranged marriage is dowry in the modern and conservative Indian society.
Marriage stability
How can love be
measured?
A relationship is not treated lightly.
People should have a choice about marriage systems
Marriage stability
Quality of marriage
Quality of marriage
Personal experience
Video: Happy Arrange marriage
Mr. M.N. Hussain
Video: Happy Love marriage
Ms. Vanita Quraishy
A relationship is not treated lightly.
Article: Real life situation
Match-making matters

Finding a suitable matrimonial match remains a challenge in our society. A popular topic of debate among people, irrespective of their vintage and status in our country, is love vis-a-vis arranged marriage. An arranged one is a gamble and the other one a calculated gamble. I am a victim of a gamble, if I may confess, a 'so-far-so-good' gamble. I presume the same holds true for my wife, if her body language has anything to go by!
My father had a strong conviction regarding marriages 'within the clan'. As a bachelor, this constraint was always at the back of my mind. Therefore, an odd fling was shortlived because of my forthright confession at the start of any perceived relationship. Being an ardent fan of the old man, I imbibed a similar mindset.

The kids grew up in a cosmopolitan society of the army, thereby inculcating a pan-Indian outlook. Notwithstanding, I, but not so much my better half, faced the uphill task of scouting around towards the onerous task of finding the right match for our offspring. Sensing my seriousness, children allowed me to proceed ahead with the task at hand.

During one of our light-hearted family gup-shup, I obtained their feedback on their prospective life partners. The son wanted someone like his mother a good home-maker, firm, steadfast on value systems and a lady with huge reserves of emotional quotient. All these were intangibles with no barometer to gauge in my pursuit towards an arranged marriage, but undeterred by the challenge, and having succeeded in my own gamble, I hoped the dice would again go favourably for my ambitious brat.

The daughter, on the other hand, was embarrassingly forthright, "Papa, I wish to marry a fauji... someone like you who is firmly committed to obedience of orders!" I never knew I carried this inherent army trait back home. I felt sheepish with another intangible to confront. Well, the search started in right earnest, though my wife, a conventional lady with a modern outlook, would often brainwash me to instil a balanced approach of a gamble vs a calculated one.

I spread the word around my friends and relatives amidst microscopic scanning of matrimonial columns of dailies. Meetings with presumably eligible matches were utter disasters, since my questionnaire conforming to the wish list of children were impossible to digest by both the interviewees and their parents. Meanwhile, the youngsters were growing up into well-rounded and independent citizens.

Failing miserably in my pursuit and prompted by my better half, I requested them to suggest in case they had someone in mind. They promised to, but on one condition: "Papa, please refrain from asking your elaborate questionnaire!"

Well, the children are married, having opted for a calculated gamble. Preliminary indications do suggest both my kids' in-laws conforming to the traits desired of them. My father's myth, too, was upheld, though by default, and with a pan-Indian flavour. The menu of our traditionally Punjabi family kitchen now has additions of a fresh 'bill of fare' in the form of 'bal mithai', 'jhoi/jholi' and 'roshogolla/machhe bhate bangali'.
Conclusion
At the end of the day whether it’s a love marriage or an arrange marriage, to sustain forever, it requires a lots of patience, understanding, compatibility and companionship. A sense of responsibility and dedication, a lots of commitments, compromises and sacrifices, and love, respect, and concern for each other, trust and honesty among each other and loyalty towards each other is required for a life time. Only then you can call it a “Made for each other” couple
Conflicts in arrange marriage
Conflicts in love marriage
Areas of knowledge
History
Ways of knowing
Emotion
Human sciences

Reason
Statistical data
Statistical data
Statistical data
Statistical data
Married Couples
Love Marriage
Arrange marriage
Knowledge Issue:
Sub Kl 1:
Sub Kl 2:
Full transcript