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Irina Hagen

on 19 September 2013

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Transcript of Communication

What lies beneath... ?

What do we really know
about communication?

Base Camp Part I

Handling unforeseeable challenges
in a seemingly common environment

Sending and receiving a message
Sender sends intended message
Message is encoded by the sender
Sent via a medium through a communication channel
Message is received by receiver
receiver decodes message
Receiver gives feedback by sending an encoded messages back through a channel using a medium
The Four Aspects of a Message
the full message
How do we communicate?
Our message is conveyed several ways and we can use the following:

are important and interpreted only in connection with look and sound.
Facial expressions and body language
have the biggest impact of communication
tone of our voice
emphasize the meaning of our words much more than solely words.
Good to know:
Words can impress the logical mind
as well as words can show: "we speak the same language!"
By using an adequate tone and melody
we can sound on one wave length
Face and body can signal that the expression is authentic and real.
We can see the meaning and the meaning can be seen by others.
Ways to express ourselves:
Speaking, listening, Reading, Writing, ... ?
What counts is the received message!
What can influence receiving the intended message?
Goals of Communication
We communicate to:

ensure understanding
give and get information
trigger action
change behavior or a also a situation
influence and persuade
Definition from Business Dictionary:

process of reaching mutual
, in which participants not only

information, news, ideas and feelings but also
create and share meaning
. In general, communication is a means of
connecting people
or places."
Prejudices and premature evaluation
Assumptions & misconceptions
inappropriate medium / channel
language & cultural differences
missing information
Communication is a cause-effect relationship
Both, sender and receiver are responsible getting the message right!
The way we start communication the way it usually ends, so watch your attitude and message
The sender can optimize message and coding
The Receiver can optimize decoding and reaction / feedback and turn also "bad starts" in "good ends"

Both can influence the communication environment
Distraction / Inattention
Bad listening
One cannot not communicate!
=> Every one can choose at any time how he communicates and how he gives feedback. Take the responsibility
for your acting and re-acting!
Good communication can open doors and is a key factor to success!

Active listening, mutual respect as well as authenticity and openness help to create thriving relationships!
Sending and receiving messages in an every day situation?
facial expressions, gestures, body language, symbols, clothing... ?
voice, noises,
pauses, speed, ... ?
Examples from Everyday-Life
"There is a bug in the system!"

Something is not working the way it is expected
I don't know how to work with the system now
I think you know what to do and you can help me
Fix it!
Good to know:
Every time I communicate I am sending 4 different kinds of messages
The other one can understand my message in a complete different way and the feedback is a valuable signal on which "ear" he or she is receiving
Conscious sending and good listening can help to gain mutual understanding

Let the facts speak...
A matter of perspective and
point of view?
What I see is not necessarily what the other is seeing!
Keep track of all facts!
Often there is more than one fact to be included!
When we concentrate on details we stand to lose important other information!
Changing Perspectives help to:
Gain understanding why your counterpart is communicating this way
find well-matched arguments to convince and this way to gain commitment
be open to new ideas which brings creativity and flexibility
Can also get out of a deadlock as you can see other ways
Latin: commūnicāre = to share
smell, touch, charisma, presence, ...?
Communication Base Camp Part 1
1. Mutual respect and openness is essential in successful communication
2. Active Listening is a key factor in communication
3. Be open to other perspectives and point of views and act with flexibility
"Facts" and Interpretation
1. Facts is only what you can seize with your senses
Active Listening
Be there - be present
Show that you are listening by open body posture, making reactive eye contact, nodding, prodding, echoing or reflecting back, and checking.
Paraphrase and repeat what was said in your own words
Do not judge but understand the reasons behind
Engage with the material, provide feedback, empathize with emotions or at least sympathize.
Encourage to think further and ask Questions to clarify your mutual understanding
7. Be silent and listen!
4. Emotions can and shall be expressed
in an adequate matter
5. At any moment we are responsible for our reactions and can contribute to a mutual understanding by reacting in a constructive way
6. There is more than one fact at the same time and there are also relevant facts we see only when watching thoroughly
We are humans! We have emotions!
Every communication has a content layer (logical arguements and facts) as well as a relationship layer.
The relationship layer lies beneath the surface and express the emotional aspects
The Relationship Aspect
Good to know:
According to Paul Watzlawick, a communications theorist, only 10 % of communication is about content. 90 % of communication is expressed in the relationship aspect
Establishing a good relationship is key factor in successful communication
If logical arguments don't seem to work, you can still win on the emotional relationship aspect
Emotions are the driver of our communication and contribute to the 90 % of the relationship layer
Emotions come from (un-) satisfied needs.
Expressing emotions make us authentic and real
Unexpressed emotions and need can damage relationships, psyche and health
Only we ourselves are responsible for our feelings!
Emotions are to be expressed in an adequate and respectful manner
1. Emotions navigate our actions and are often based on our thoughts, beliefs and values.
Good to know:
2. Emotions are highly infectious and showing our emotions will also affect your counterpart. Think about trust, happiness, laughter, etc.
3. Also expressing negative expression in a respectful manner can strengthen relationships as it shows that we are authentic
4. Self-Awareness and honesty of our own needs and emotions are essential!
2. Facts need context to be relevant
3. Only if we have enough facts and also include the environment we can dare to judge
It's obvious!
isn't it?
Practical examples: What is there to observe and what is interpretation?
You know what I mean, right?
Our brain will close all "gaps" automatically!
Often we are not aware that we assume rather that know what was meant. Therefore be aware and check whether you really know by summarizing in your own words!
Matter Layer:
What I inform about (facts, data, observed situations, ...)
The four sides of a message
Every message show some aspects of the senders situation and personality, often hidden and unconscious
Relationship Layer:
What I think about you (You-Statement) and how we get along (We-Statement)

What the receiver should do something or leave undone. The attempt to influence someone can be less or more open (advice) or hidden (manipulation).
Communication Model by F. Schultz von Thun
Respect, trust and openness shall be found
in all of the above
Keep your communication goals in mind!
Full transcript