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Restoration Therapy

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eric allen

on 5 December 2013

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Transcript of Restoration Therapy

Restoration Therapy

What is
Restoration Therapy?
does not necessarily adhere to just one therapy model, though its roots are in contextual therapy
"...theory is important because it is important for the psychotherapist in the room to organize and make sense of what he or she is hearing...." (pg.5)
goal in restoration therapy is centered on therapists retaining 'their artistic, experiential, and qualitative presence in the therapy room" (pg 7)
"Restoration therapy is about restoring love and trustworthiness to the human condition" (pg. 4)
General Ideas
All humans have an innate structure that "allows them to make meaning about who they are and how they are to behave in relationships.....it is as if human beings come in to the world with a structure of two spools with no thread. These two spools are taught meaning and behavior around the concepts of
love and trustworthiness
" (pg.8)
The ideas or conclusions we form of ourselves and our relationships greatly impact how we behave in future relationships (pg. 9)
The part of the brain that reacts to these factors is not the rational thinking brain that is located in the cortex but the emotional and relational limbic system in the midbrain (pg 39)
Key Concepts
Love and Trustworthiness are centered around the two spools which can be named "Who am I?" and "Am I safe" the two key questions people ask (pg. 10)
"Who am I?" is a question whose answer is shaped by the love of others and is what creates a person's personal view of themselves as an individual
"Am I safe?" is a question whose answer is determined by the care and nurturing they receive when young
The answers form the basis of how a person behaves in future relationships
Common Dysfunctional Relational Patterns
People can have any combination of these process patterns:
Shaming Self and Controlling Others
Controlling Behaviors/Blaming Others
Shaming Self/Escape-Chaos Behaviors
Shaming Self/Blaming Others/Controlling Behaviors/Escape-Chaos Behaviors
Understanding and Guiding Healing in Marriage and Family Therapy
By Terry D. Hargrave and Franz Pfitzer

How to Be a Wise Therapist
Reasons Clients Come to Therapy
Key Techniques in Restoration Therapy
The Plan
Identify The Couple Cycles
Identify the pain cycle

Identify the peace cycle

Guide the Four Steps
The Four Steps
Why use the
Restoration Model?
Yarhouse, M. A., & Sells, J. N. (2008). Family therapies: A comprehensive Christian appraisal. Downers Grove, Ill: IVP Academic.
Uses insight and skills as a 'one-two punch' for change (Hargrave & Pfitzer, 2011)
Restoration models "hold the key to teaching couples the emotional and conflict management skills necessary to heal from relational injury and prevent additional cycles of injury and destructive conflicts" (Yarhouse and Sells, 2008)
Hargrave, T. D., & Pfitzer, F. (2011). Restoration therapy: Understanding and guiding healing in marriage and family therapy. New York: Routledge.
Three types of love
companionate: encompasses elements of friendship, respect, acceptance and understanding
romantic or passionate: a strong infatuation, desire for physical or emotional intimacy or idealization
altruistic: conceptualized in the concept of giving and sacrifice, giving up something for the good of others
Trustworthiness is often compromised by destructive entitlement ("self-justifying action on the part of a relational partner and may include threats, manipulation, withdrawal, or the coercion of innocent partners in other relationships to gain what the partner feels he or she rightly deserves from a relationship" pg. 16)
Three elements to trustworthiness
sense of predictability, which is responsibility and reliability
a sense of justice or balance in relational give-and-take
sense of openness
Key Terms
Relational Ledger: measuring justice and balance in the relationship
horizontal relationship: symmetrical give-and-take relationship between individuals of equal stature
Asymmetrical relationships: such as that of a parent/child, imbalanced power
Justice: leads to feelings of security
Security: enhances trustworthiness
Openness: essential for people to be able to have trust
Power: determines the amount of control we have in a situation, including the structure or hierarchy in the relationship, and the way we perceive ourselves
Human Agency: the idea that humans use their actions and power to produce positive outcomes for themselves and others
Healthy, Functional Relationship Defined

"It is what we call a "rhythm of rightness" in relationships (Hargrave, 2005). When a person uses his or her agency to govern power, then most of those with whom he or she is in a relationship will respond positively and will give back appropriate love and trust. As the individual practices agency...the individual gains a sense of entitlement and a 'right self' in terms of his or her meanings."
(Pg. 37)
More Key Terms
Self-reactivity: when the individual is prompted to have to cope with the unloving and untrustworthy situations by compensating, albeit destructively, for what is lacking in the sense of identity and safety
Reactions to violations of love: blaming others and shaming self
Reactions to violations of trustworthiness: control behaviors (Perfectionistic, judging) and escape/chaos behaviors (substance use, minimizing)
Complimentary relationships: patterns of partners are opposite extremes
Symmetrical Relationships: patterns of partners are of the same nature
Cyclic process: a person feeling and acting in a cycle format--one leads to the other
Cyclic Patterns in relationships:
often means learning how to hold on instead of winning battles
Means finding out why the patient cannot have success with the solution to their problem
learns from those clients who come to solve problems that they are often trapped between knowing what to do and not being able to do it
Validate and hear effectively by accurately hearing and empathizing with people's narratives to create intimacy, reflecting back, and creating opportunities to validate further
Utilize multidirectional partiality to demonstrate trustworthiness, empathy, crediting, acknowledgment of efforts, and accountability
Focus on process over content
Go towards the Emotion--"Chase the Pain"
To change someone else
Just to tell their story
To change or grow
--But a wise therapist recognizes that all therapy, no matter the reason, points towards an opportunity for change and growth
Understanding (and Rogerian-type behaviors)
Finding and identifying the truth about self
Working up and working down (even generationally)
Right Script but Wrong Players
Balancing Obligations and Entitlements
Forgiveness (based on putting back love and trust)
Retraining Executive Operating Systems (partially through the four steps)
Step 1: Say What You Feel
engages the cognitive "information" side of the brain
actualizes the feeling
Step 2: Say What You Normally Do
assists the cognition of the brain to overcome the emotion
makes it less likely that the client will repeat the behavior
Step 3: Say The Truth
Helps create new neural pathways
Helps make the truth familiar, repeated and at the ready
Step 4: Make A Different Behavioral Choice
Stimulates the EOS that are associated with new learning and emotional bonding
Emotion of peace creates opportunity to move the feeling into a position of human agency
Step 1: Identify the Pain Cycle
Find out what is driving the cyclical pattern
It is called the pain cycle because couples almost always interact on issues of pain and identity in ways that create more pain and identity issues
Pain Cycle contains all the elements of the EOS that concern threat, stress, and flight or fight responses
Step 2: Identify the Peace Cycle
somewhat reciprocating
when a couple practices human agency behaviors such as nurturing and self-valuing, it tends to stimulate primary emotions in each spouse that helps them feel that they are loved and the relationship is trustworthy
A Summary
"First, the psychotherapist must help the client clearly identify the violations and feelings associated with the lack of love and trustworthiness.

Second, the psychotherapist must help the client make identification not only of the key feelings but also of the process patterns that come from those feelings and the resulting patterns of self-reactivity.

Third, the work of addressing those wounds and violations must take place to help the client or patient identify key truths that are essential in his or her life.

Finally, the psychotherapist must be helpful in giving the client a map of the emotional truths and the agency actions that will result in more positive outcomes." (pg. 170)
Hargrave, T. D. (January 01, 2010). Restoration Therapy: A Couple Therapy Case Study. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 29, 3, 272-277.
Not only does the Restoration Therapy model offer a good integrative model of couple change, but also it integrates effectively with scriptural references of changing attitudes, transforming behaviors and taking charge of thought processes (Hargrave, 2010).
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