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how to solve conflicts

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Alexandra Moll

on 14 January 2013

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Transcript of how to solve conflicts

How to solve conflicts Agenda Quiz Quiz Conflict types Conflict types How to react to a turtle, shark,... 3 principals Shark Owl Turtle Teddy Bear Fox How to react to a ... 3 principals Competing Sharks: Accommodating Teddy Bears: Collaborating Owls: highly value their own goals and relationships
think that conflicts are improving relationships by reducing tensions and identifies with the conflict
win-win situation
try to find the perfect solution Compromising Foxes: try to end the conflict with a compromise so he/she will give up something in order to reach a compromised outcome and a agreement for the common good
better do make a compromise as fighting Shark Owl Turtle Teddy Bear Fox Sum up ;) Sources: Information:
http://www.mindmatters.edu.au/resources_and_downloads/staff_matters/the_interpersonal/useful_information/conflict_resolution.html
http://www.lausd-dsp.net/dsp_training/resources/conflict_management.pdf

Images:
shark (http://www.google.at/imgres?q=shark&start=191&hl=de&tbo=d&biw=1366&bih=563&tbm=isch&tbnid=14fDfwWRy_jbkM:&imgrefurl=http://likeabosssecondlife.blogspot.com/2012/09/i-sharks-duh-hair-tabatha-espresso.html&docid=q_M4m0DUhn1UwM&imgurl=http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-R1QCaGrg4Bk/UFN2H-Y50VI/AAAAAAAAAZc/uYmPN-BbpNw/s1600/Cartoon_Shark_Wallpaper_3.jpg&w=1024&h=768&ei=4S_PUO3_F62O4gSPsICgAw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=1066&vpy=256&dur=198&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=157&ty=219&sig=107985490801396386058&page=9&tbnh=141&tbnw=199&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:200,i:46)
Owl (http://www.google.at/imgres?q=eule+disney&hl=de&tbo=d&biw=1366&bih=563&tbm=isch&tbnid=4DT4BWgkiYT4kM:&imgrefurl=http://www.kindercampus.de/133.0.html%3F%26tx_kicavotingengine_pi1%255BshowUid%255D%3D72%26tx_kicavotingengine_pi1%255Baction%255D%3Doverview&docid=WsXxXHIgfO2kVM&imgurl=http://www.kindercampus.de/uploads/tx_kicavotingengine/Winnie_Puuh_Owl_Freisteller__c__Disney_Enterprises.jpg&w=568&h=622&ei=nDLPUMyrFeKo4ATX0YGoDg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=4&vpy=143&dur=391&hovh=235&hovw=215&tx=63&ty=124&sig=107985490801396386058&page=1&tbnh=140&tbnw=128&start=0&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:98)
turtle (http://www.google.at/imgres?q=turtle&start=94&num=10&hl=de&tbo=d&biw=1366&bih=563&tbm=isch&tbnid=xMurQilMVqURYM:&imgrefurl=http://staff.4j.lane.edu/~james/jamessite/games/turtletag.html&docid=ILbxXDE3eKmZdM&imgurl=http://staff.4j.lane.edu/~james/jamessite/images/turtle9.jpg&w=315&h=315&ei=MC_PUI7pA8Or4ATe84DwDQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=704&vpy=240&dur=55&hovh=225&hovw=225&tx=121&ty=145&sig=107985490801396386058&page=5&tbnh=145&tbnw=145&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:100,i:31)
teddy bear (http://www.google.at/imgres?q=teddy+bear+cartoon&hl=de&tbo=d&biw=1366&bih=563&tbm=isch&tbnid=BGqmaGw0VAqbPM:&imgrefurl=http://www.soulbounce.com/soul/2007/10/wherein_we_mourn_the_passing_o.php&docid=Z-0IZJUBw2Q47M&imgurl=http://www.soulbounce.com/soul/blog_images/care_bear.jpg&w=179&h=219&ei=vDDPUKyMIo334QT85YHwDg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=1065&vpy=168&dur=22&hovh=175&hovw=143&tx=116&ty=70&sig=107985490801396386058&page=1&tbnh=137&tbnw=112&start=0&ndsp=27&ved=1t:429,r:25,s:0,i:163)
fox (http://www.google.at/imgres?q=foxcartoon&hl=de&tbo=d&biw=1366&bih=563&tbm=isch&tbnid=A_7kQDywOxbhGM:&imgrefurl=http://www.featurepics.com/online/Fox-Cartoon-2040844.aspx&docid=UYvsiCNMv84ggM&imgurl=http://www.featurepics.com/FI/Thumb300/20111108/Fox-Cartoon-2040844.jpg&w=450&h=450&ei=DTHPUJrKOc_24QSi5IDYDQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=565&vpy=225&dur=6091&hovh=225&hovw=225&tx=79&ty=129&sig=107985490801396386058&page=1&tbnh=137&tbnw=137&start=0&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:17,s:0,i:136) Overpower and attack people who oppose them
refuse to give up their goals, no matter what.
Do not value personal relationships,
are not concerned about the needs of other people, do not need to be liked,
feel proud if they win and ashamed if they lose. think that relationships are very important, but their own goals are not;
want to be liked and accepted;
believe that conflicts can hurt relationships and will give up their own goals to save a relationship. Use active listening: Listen to try & understand the other person's perspective. Ask clarifying questions (How,What,Who...) and summarize facts and feelings (You're thinking/feeling..)
Be honest and sincere: Don't worry about being nice; be direct, respectful, and constructive
Stay in control: The toughest person you have to manage in interactions is you. Take your time if emotions gain the upper hand Don’t try to compete with a shark.
If you try to act like a shark and you’re not naturally a shark, you’ll lose.
Reframe the discussion into a win-win. You’ll want to avoid win-lose situations with any conflict-resolution style, but particularly with sharks
Use Active Listening I win, you lose I lose, you win I win, you win You bend, I bend Avoiding Turtle No winners, no losers To make a compromise can be difficult and hard
They don't give up, before find the perfect solution
much time middle way player

don't give up your ideas too easy it is easy to have a conflict with a turtle,because the turtle wants you to win
don't exploit someone who is acting like a turtle withdraws into his shell to hide from the people he is in conflict with
believes that resolving conflicts is generally hopeless
avoids confrontation or reaction
tends to give up on personal goals and relationships
feels helpless
lose-lose situation don't react, minor conflicts will solve themselves
try to get him out of his shell and discuss about the problem
major conflicts could get worse
don't be aggressive, stay calm
try to convince with arguments
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