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- Why are we attracted to some people
but not others?
When you are exposed to people on a regular basis you are more likely to be attracted to them in a friendly or sexual way.
Appearance is the first filter we use to sort out people we want to get to know
Contrary to popular beliefs, opposites don't actually attract. Similarity is a key in relationships
- Do opposites really attract?
- Does initial attraction affect the progress of a relationship?
Mere exposure effect: is the phenomenon that repeated exposure to novel stimuli increases the liking of them
Several studies have shown that the people we like, date, and even marry are typically the people living in our neighborhood, sitting next to us in class, or working in the same building
In 1992, two researchers (Moreland and Beach) enrolled 4 women, who were judged equally attractive, in a 200-student college class. The first woman never attended class, the second showed up 5 times, the third went to class 10 times, and the fourth woman attended 15 classes. At the end of the course, students judged the woman who attended most often as the most attractive
People give attractive individuals the benefit of the doubt. They are judged as happier, healthier, and more successful than those who are less attractive
The feelings you have about your own attractiveness predict how much you'll date and how popular you will feel
A study that Feingold, 1990 and Sprecher, 1989 did found that women are most likely to say that the way a person looks does not effect them, but the way she behaves says differently, it proves a man's looks does affect a woman's behavior
The more similar two people are, the happier they will be in their relationship
Long relationships are more likely in people with equally matched social ability and physical appearance
People in relationships tend to share interests, attitudes, age, intelligence level, economic status, and beliefs in things like religion and smoking
The more alike you are with someone, the longer you are likely to stay togeher
Although in most aspects of a relationship being similar is beneficial, there is one big difference that is key to making a relationship work: Dominance
People tend to like people who compliment them in certain aspects
Dominance for example; if both people in the relationship have dominant personalities, they will clash. Both people will try to take control of the relationship and it will turn out badly. If both people are submissive, both won't be able to make decisions and their relationship will be more indecisive. Having one person at least a little more dominant than the other makes the relationship more stable and relaxing
Men are biologically and evolutionarily hardwired to find signs of youth and health attractive, because it shows that they have a good ability to reproduce
Women are biologically attracted to athletic and well-muscled men, because in the early stages of life that meant that they would be a good hunter (provide for the family) and would be good for protection
Women are also known to be attracted to successful men because they'll be able to provide for a family and generous men because it shows the woman she will be treated well
Initial attraction does affect the progress of the relationship because the stronger the initial attraction the harder both people will try to get to know each other
Initial attraction if usually a strong feeling. Most people know that a relationship with someone would be a good/bad idea within the first half an hour of meeting the other person
The more alike two people are initially will make the relationship easier and will make them both want to do their best to keep the relationship intact
Initial attraction makes it easier to tell what you like and what you don't like
Sexual Attraction Among Humans - Diana Fernandez
Thinking About Psychology: The Science of Mind and Behavior
By Charles T. Blair-Broeker & Randal M. Ernst
Ted Talk: The Biology of Love - Helen Fisher