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Beowulf Newspaper Project
Transcript of Beowulf Newspaper Project
"Concerned about riots in detention facilities that were located next to residential homes"
NEWS SO FINE, THAT IT MADE MY PRINTER BROKE.
THE FIGHT OF BEOWULF AND GRENDEL
HELLO! BEOWULF COMES TO THE RESCUE!!!!!
THE FINAL RESULT!
Beowulf rips Grendel's arm and shoulder from its socket, and the monster, mortally wounded, flees to the swamp to die. Beowulf WINS! and mounts Grendel's arm as a trophy on the wall of Heorot.
THE FINAL PHASE
English 3 - 1A
October 4th, 2013
Grendel is your classic "outcast." Because of the sins of his forefathers, specifically Cain (who killed his brother Abel), Grendel and other descendents of Cain were banished by God. The beast Grendel lives alone in a dark, cold cave. Night after night he hears the Danes loudly celebrating in Heorot Hall and what does he do? HE GOES CRAZY!!! All the festivities drives him mad with rage and envy. He slaughters the Danes and takes over the hall for 12 years.
SO HIDE YOUR KIDS, HIDE YOUR WIVES! - Because he's taking over!
October 10, 2013
Editor-in-Chief Paul Ajayi
News has came in that the hero Beowulf and his warriors are coming to our land of Danes to help defeat that ugly monster Grendel! Beowulf a Geatish warrior loyal to his king, Hygelac. Beowulf's father was the warrior Ecgtheow, and his mother is a sister of Hygelac. Despite his noble lineage, Beowulf was a bit of a juvenile delinquent, and little was expected of him. But he soon proved his doubters wrong and grew up to be a great warrior.
He has the strength of thirty men and can be called the "Michael Phelps of Anglo-Saxons Time" due to his remarkable swimming ability. In addition to his great warrior skills, Beowulf eventually becomes a strong, powerful, and generous king.
During the battle between Beowulf vs. Grendel, Grendel approaches Heorot as he tore the doors down (what a nice entrance). Then, he grabs a sleeping Geat and eats him quickly. Grendel and Beowulf are both at it, blow to blow. Beowulf wanted to use his sword, but Grendel's is super resistant to it. Looking for a way to beat him down, Beowulf grabs Grendel's arm with a grip stronger than any Grendel has felt before. Grendel becomes frightened, but Beowulf's hold is too strong for Grendel to escape. Will Beowulf come out alive?
Miley Cyrus in the future
BIG MOMMA COMES INTO TOWN!
Even though Grendel is dead, Grendel's mother still lives, and wants revenge for the death of her son. She enters Heorot and seizes Hrothgar close friend, Aeshere, waking the other warriors, frightened. She takes Grendel's arm from its place under the roof, and flees. Beowulf, once again has
to fight to protect the Danes
BEOWULF vs. BIG MOMMA
ARMAGEDDON PART 2
Beowulf strikes at Grendel's mother with the Hrunting sword, given by Unferth, but the blade has no effect and actually breaks. Unfazed, Beowulf grabs the monster by her hair and pulls her to the floor, attempting to defeat her with his bare hands. She meets him blow for blow. Grendel's mother stabs Beowulf with a knife, but his mail shirt blocks the blow.
THE FINAL RESULT
Beowulf then notices, lying among the armor on the cave floor, an old sword made by giants so large, few could only use it. He grabs the sword and strikes Grendel's mother, slicing through her neck. She falls to the floor, dead. The cave blazes with light. In a corner, Beowulf sees Grendel's lifeless body. Still in fury at Grendel's awful deeds, he cuts off Grendel's head.
R.I.P Grendel- well yeah not really.....
I cant say that Grendel's death was a tragedy, but I can speak for us all that it is a reward that this beast has been put in his place, because I mean HELLO! He needed to know, not to mess with the big boys in town! He has caused so much harm, and now his evil reign is over once and for all. His death ended the grief, the sorrow, the suffering for all of us. We should not feel sympathy for this monster's death. In the end of the day, Grendel is going to be really disappointed when he realizes that there's no air conditioner in hell and that his arm is missing. We will always be grateful to our noble warrior, Beowulf.
R.I.P Grendel's Mom .... :)
Grendel's mother, another demonic descendant of Cain, attempts to avenge her son's death by attacking Heorot Hall. Now look, obviously she didn't learn from her son's mistake - because HELLO! YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE BIG BOYS! One can understand the hurt of loosing a child, but Grendel was a monster who wouldn't want to "take it down notch" with his killings. Hey, we even offered him money to get the heck out of here but nope, he stayed. So he got his butt kicked and ironically, so did Grendel's mom. Who's next in line, grandpa? Grendel's mother could've gotten her hair and nails done but instead she got beheaded... whoopsies.
*side note: Tell Grendel we said "Whatsgoood!?"
BEOWULF RECEIVES MAGNIFICENT GIFTS!
Because of Beowulf's help with stopping the madness of Grendel and his mother, Hrothgar presents Beowulf with gifts: an embroidered banner, breast-mail, an embossed helmet, sword, eight horses with gold bridles, and many more! Not to leave out Beowulf's soldiers who all received gold and treasures for their efforts.
HIDE YOUR KIDS! HIDE YOUR WIVES! BECAUSE GRENDEL'S DOMINATING OVER HEOROT HALL!!!!!!!!
Will she be in good hands?
Beowulf and his warriors get ready to leave the Danes. Beowulf formally thanks Hrothgar for being so generous and hospitable to the Geats.
Beowulf pledges his own and King Hygelac's continuing loyalty to King Hrothgar. WE'RE GONNA MISS YOU MAN!
50 YEARS HAS NOW PAST!
Fifty years has pass. Hygelac has died in a distant land battle with his kinsmen, leaving Beowulf the next to reign the Geats, kind of. This is a funny story actually, Queen Hygd offered Beowulf the throne because she didn't have any faith in Heardred as a leader. However, Beowulf didn't want to be the next in throne and instead wanted Heardred to be the next King. But after that, an exiled group of Swedes came to visit the Heardred's court and rewarded his hospitality by murdering him, whoopsies. With Heardred dead, Beowulf finally became the actual king of the Geats. As King, following his heroic code, Beowulf avenges Heardred's death and ends the feud with the Swedes by killing King Onela.
BEOWULF IS NOW KING! - HELLO!
WITH THE DRAGON! pt.1
Now after Beowulf defeats Grendel and Grendel's mother, he has become the King of the Geats. People may expect him to live happily ever after but that is not the case - he is onto his final challenge of fighting a dragon - and no ... not the dragon from Dragon Tales. Its a dragon who has gone crazy on his people. However Beowulf thinks he is going to die. But will this happen? Keep reading!
WITH THE DRAGON! pt.2
Beowulf says a few words to his followers. He tells them that he wishes to fight the dragon hand-to-hand only, the way he fought Grendel when he was young, without using his sword. However, even Beowulf realizes that would be suicide, so he goes out to fight with a sword, a mail-shirt, and a shield but tells them not to participate in his duel.
Beowulf steels himself and goes into the barrow to fight the dragon. He shouts out a challenge and the dragon, recognizing a human voice, bursts forward, breathing fire.This is a crazy battle scene, Beowulf trying to use his shield, the dragon writhing around and trying to burn him to a crisp. Beowulf swings his sword, but only gives the dragon a minor cut. The wound angers the dragon, and he steps up his attack. Beowulf's sword fails for the first time; he has to retreat. He's humiliated.
The dragon takes a deep breath and hits Beowulf with another blast of fire. Beowulf is close to being defeated. Wiglaf, one of Beowulf's follower, sees Beowulf struggling, so he enters battle for the first time at Beowulf's side, fighting the dragon. Even though Beowulf wanted to face the dragon alone, he clearly needs their help. Wiglaf also says that he would rather die fighting the dragon than go home to the rest of the Geats in cowardly safety.
Wiglaf goes to Beowulf's side and encourages him, reminding him of his boasts, his great deeds, and his fame. The dragon attacks again, charring and destroying Wiglaf's shield. Inspired by Wiglaf's encouragement, Beowulf swings his sword at the dragon again – and it snaps. The narrator explains that Beowulf is fated to have bad luck with edged weapons in battle because he's too strong and his powerful strokes are too much for the weapons to bear.
The dragon attacks a third time, biting Beowulf in the neck. Blood rushes everywhere. Beowulf draws a knife from his belt and stabs the dragon in the side. This wound finally kills it. The dragon has been defeated, but Beowulf's wound is getting worse – he realizes that it's poisoned. He finds a place to sit on the side of the barrow, looking at the massive structure. Wiglaf washes Beowulf's wounds.
Beowulf realizes that he's dying and says the last things he needs to say. He explains to Wiglaf that he would have wanted to bestow his armor on his son, but he doesn't have a son.
BEOWULF FINAL DAY HAS COME
The day has come, Beowulf is gone due to his injuries from the dragon. Beowulf orders Wiglaf to go into the barrow, look at the treasure, and bring back some of it for him to see before he dies. Wiglaf obeys Beowulf's dying wish and goes down into the barrow, where he finds amazing piles of treasure, all of it rusting and decaying. He's able to see everything because of a glowing golden standard high overhead. Having gazed on the treasure and given his golden necklace to Wiglaf, Beowulf dies. Beowulf's body is burned on a funeral pyre by his people and a barrow is built on the site to honor him.
Obituary/Final Remarks on
He was a strong willed and tough warrior,some called him "the shepard of evil, guardian of crime" , he didn't let anyone intimidate or discredit him. He never backed down from a challenge, he was fearless because he was the boss! He had so much confidence in himself and did not care what anyone said. He would prove them wrong by whopping that person's butt, just like that. "No one could check such pride" like his. He knew that he was the best therefore he performed his best and excelled in everything put in front of him. He wanted to be recognized not only as the greatest hero, but to live on as a legend for years to come and not be forgotten. We will never forget him, his pride was unforgettable, and for the dragon that killed him .....
INTERVIEW WITH OUR
Interviewed by Paul Ajayi
The Danes Daily - Main Page
Instead of writing an elegy for Beowulf and in honor of Beowulf, here's an anti-elegy for Beowulf's first enemy, Grendel.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Put on deodorant Grendel
Because you smell like poo
Yo mama so nasty and smells so bad, she entered in the hunger games twice and within 30 minutes, everyone was dead.
GET OBAMACARE TODAY!
WATCH OUT LADIES!!!
Don't let hunger happen
Me: How is your morning going so far?
Morrissey: My morning is going well, started it off right with a smoothie (low fat) Came into prep, had a first free, did lessons planes, and I was blessed with a wonderful Junior class.
Me: Great! so some questions on Beowulf: How do you like Beowulf so far?
Morrissey: I really enjoy Beowulf, what I like most about Beowulf is that is is an epic, it emboies the values of Great Britain, especiallt in the early centuries, and also understand the values of the Anglo-Saxons - and the fact that its about a superhero.
Me: Name an event in Beowulf that is your favorite, if any and why?
Morrissey: I would say - what I enjoy the most is how he swim in the ocean .... especially because my fear of the deep sea.
Me: Yeah... me too, I still use the floaties when I'm in the pool *nervous laugh*... well next question, if Grendel mom was on Earth right now and desperately wants love, would you date her?
Morrissey: Hahaha, no I won't date Grendel's mom, she seems kin of possessive, and shes pretty ugly - yeah.. she got to be pretty ugly.
Me: Yeah, pretty ugly, matter of fact SOOO UGLY! SUPER UGLY! So do you know the next book we are going to read?
Morrissey: The next book we are going to read is the Canterbury Tales, not the whole book, but its difficult than Beowulf.
Me: Okay, so now some quick few questions: Pepsi or Coke?
Morrissey: I don't drink soda
Me: Explain Quantum physics and electrodynamics in 20 seconds.
Morrissey: *blank stare* They help explain the world!
Me: Have you ever stolen a pen from a bank?
Me: Awesome, well thanks for this interview Mr. Morrissey!
Morrissey: Thank you Paul, very creative!
THANK YOU GUYS FOR BEING A GREAT AUDIENCE!!!