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Anger Management

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Shirley Ley

on 18 October 2015

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Transcript of Anger Management

Why so serious? No need to be angry!
This is me!
Shirley Ley MEd, CCC
The End
Definition of Anger
Weighing anger

-Learned, routine, familiar, and predictable response to a variety of situations.
-Performed over and over again, without thinking
Breaking the anger habit
Monitoring your AngerMon
Anger Triggers
Anger Control Plan
A Relaxing Exercise
Unhelpful thoughts/beliefs
The blame game
Blowing things out of proportion
Name Calling
Jumping to conclusions
Overexaggerating
Ten Commandments
Assertiveness Training
An intro....
Assertive communication
Aggressive Communication
Conflict Resolution
1. Identify the problem
3. Identify feelings
4. Identify the impact of the problem
2. Decide if you want to resolve the conflict
Conflict resolution model
5. Work for resolution
Feeling
Threatened
Harm comes our way
Someone wronged us
Child or loved one being threatened or harmed
When needs desires & goals not met
How is anger the same as....
Anger is a habit....
Too intensely
Too frequently
Expressed inappropriately
In the long term, however, these initial payoffs lead to negative consequences
Manipulate and Control
Release tension
Health problems
Violence/aggression
Loss of relationships
Short term gains
Long term consequences
Myth 1: Anger is inherited
Myth 2: People must be aggressive to get what they want
Myth 4: Venting anger is always desirable
Myth 3: Anger automatically leads to aggression
Debunking Anger Myths
Becoming aware of anger - anger meter, triggers, cues, anger log
Strategies for controlling anger - stop the escalation before you lose control
Sensitive areas or "red flags" - specific events touch on long standing issues
An event has provoked you
Events in the here-and-now
Recalling events from the past
Anger Cues
Behavioural
Physical
Emotional
Cognitive
Date
Situation
Trigger
Rate of anger
(1-10)
Outcome
Thurs Mar 28th, 2013 @ 2 pm
My friend was
30 mins late for a meeting for the 4th time.
Meeting friend
for coffee
6
Yelled at friend. Friend
got upset and left.
Disagreement
Resolves
in a....
Respectful
Key
1. Time out
2. Deal with the problem
1. Decide if you want to resolve it
2. State the problem; be specific
3. Identify the impact of the problem
4. Let person know you're angry and the feeling beneath the anger
5. Reach a mutual agreement

-no alcohol and drugs
-pay attention to physiological changes as they return to normal
-do not return until anger arousal is reduced
Post it note #2
Conflict resolution model:
Post it note # 1
Time out:
Anger Log
Monitor your anger
Below the surface of anger
Anger
Afraid
Disrespected
Rejected
Humiliated
Critical and hostile self talk
Misinterpret information
Hostile fantasies and images
Increase in heart rate
Tightness in chest
Flushing in face
Clenched fist
Upset stomach
Tension in muscles

clench fist, pace back and forth, slam a door, raise our voice
Observed by others....
Workshop topics
Anger management techniques
Habit
Problem
Monitoring anger

Anger defined
Workshop topics
Series....
Staying Mentally Fit
Be more understanding and take action
Get real!
Narrow down your target
Get the facts straight
Rein it back
What made you the boss?
But what I can do....
Here's your can of worms
Here's mine
Problem Anger
Guest speaker
Andrea Hedley - Shift Clinical Hypnotherapy
1. Decide if you want to resolve it
2. State the problem; be specific
3. Identify the impact of the problem
4. Let person know you're angry and the feeling beneath the anger
5. Reach a mutual agreement

Post it note #2
Conflict resolution model:
-no alcohol and drugs
-pay attention to physiological changes as they return to normal
-do not return until anger arousal is reduced
Post it note # 1
Time out:
Andrea Hedley, M.H., C.Cht.
Master Hypnotist and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist
1. Sign up for my complimentary weekly newsletter - get updates on upcoming workshops
2. Check out my weekly video blogs every Weds at 2 pm
3. Join my Meetup Group: Staying Mentally Fit in Vancouver
Where do I go from here?
30 minute complimentary consultation
The End
Full transcript