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Personal Road Map
Transcript of Personal Road Map
My mother worked really hard to keep a roof over our heads. When my brother and I were growing up she was very absent and had a rather uninvolved parenting style. All she would do is work, make dinner, and then go to bed. With having only one income, work often came first just so she could afford to make ends meet.
My brother and I spent most of our time at our babysitters. She was great and was the one who taught us basic rules and morals. However, because she wasn't really our parent, she didn't discipline us or offer much support. She didn't really offer a parenting style.
Growing up, my brother and I also only had each other for socialization and grew up with somewhat scewed ideas of what to expect from other people. We wanted to be friends with everyone and could not understand that some kids just wanted nothing to do with us.
When I was eight, my older brother was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, a very serious disease for a kid to have. My mother became more involved with him as she took care of him and his health. She often stayed uninvolved with me unless I could help my brother with his disease.
Shortly after that my father re-entered my life. He is an authoritative parent which was a big difference to me. I quickly warmed up to him because he would pay attention and offer support. Sadly because of the great difference between the way my parents treated me, I started to lose my relationship with my mother.
When I was fourteen, I moved in with my dad. Being used to a single parent family and jumping into a blended family was not the easiest. I am very close to my stepmother, but I often have issues listening to her and having more than one parent present was very weird at first.
For now, my family is very nontraditional but I love it. I live with my dad and stepmother surrounded my five dogs, and my brother lives with my mother. I still visit them occasionally. My brother and I were really close so that transition was really hard at first, but everything heals with time.
I decided very early in life that I don't want to be a parent. I am still rather young and I understand that I may change my mind, but right now, I just want to figure life out. I really enjoy being independent and doing my own thing, having kid would get in the way of that.
Although I don't want kids, I often entertain the idea of a mate. I worry heavily though about the new hook up based dating model. I am demi sexual, meaning I need a trusting loving relationship before I can even think about intimacy. With the popularization of hooking up, I see myself avoiding dating more often in the future.
My mother has always suggested to me that I make list of the qualities I like about the guys in my life. She says that will help my filter through the "bad eggs". I definitely agree with this strategy and will use it in the distant future. However, for the close future, I want to make mistakes and learn about the dating world for myself. I think it is important to learn first hand and to not just heed all the warning from our parents.
When it comes to marriage, I would be more inclined to be in a common law relationship over an actual relationship. I follow the newer statistics of not wanting to get married because in this day and age, marriage doesn't mean a lot anymore. To me, it is an agreement to be with one person and I don't think a big cerimony and a piece of paper is any different than just a committed relationship.
Even though I don't want kids I still want to have a strong connection to my family. In the future, I want to be very close my brother and whatever family he decides to have. I really love my family and want to be apart of a bigger group even if I don't contribute to it with kids of my own.
I have recently realized that I never want to retire. I want to do a lot of things with my life. I believe that if I am to complete everything that I want to do with my life, than I can never retire. The constant work will also keep me healthy and active. This will help because my biggest goal is to outlive my brother.
Personal Road Map
12 August, 2015
I am still young so nothing is set in stone. All I know for now is that I have loving family and a great foundation for whatever I choose to do. I have learned a lot about myself and what my next big life steps are from this class. I plan to take all of this with me on my journey and will be assured that no matter what I do, I will do my best at it.