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What is personal development all about?

Personal development
by

Eric van den Broek

on 19 December 2014

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Transcript of What is personal development all about?

Personal Development
Wikipedia:
Refers to activities that:
Improve self-knowledge and identity
Develop talents and potential
Build human capital and employability
Enhance quality of life
Contribute to the realization of dreams and aspirations.
Understand Self
Understand Others
Adapt & Connect
Develop Usable Interpersonal Strategies
Improve Leadership Skills
IQ
Ability to think
Solve puzzles
Reason critically
EQ
Inter-personal skills
Emotional intelligence
Self-awareness
SQ
Integrity
Honesty
Moral value
PQ
Creatie-spiraal, Knoope
Learning cycle, Kolb
“To reach port we must sail – sail, not tie anchor – sail, not drift”
Franklin D Roosevelt

(You should also know where you are…)
Expect to make mistakes
In learning new skills, there is a risk!
You must expect to make mistakes
How did you learn to walk?
Why do so many people see feedback as criticism and respond aggressively?
“Whatever your present situation, I assure you that you are not your habits. You can replace old patterns of self-defeating behaviour with new patterns, new habits of effectiveness, happiness, and trust-based relationships.”
Stephen Covey “the 7 habbits of highly effective people”
Who am I?
Understanding Self
Understanding Others
Power of teamwork
Perception
The Act of attributing meaning to sensory data received
Based upon your previous experience
Per second we are exposed to 4.5 milion stimuli
The mind interprets patterns based on past experience – or on patterns it already knows.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.
We all have different Views on the Reality
Public Pane
The part of our conscious self of which we are aware and is known to others
Includes our conscious attitudes, behaviour, motivation and values

Private Pane
Cannot be known to others unless we disclose it
That which we freely keep within ourselves, and that which we retain out of fear
The degree to which we share ourselves with others (disclosure) is the degree to which we can be known
Blind Pane
Things about ourselves that we do not know, but others can see more clearly
Things we imagine to be true of ourselves, but that others do not see at all
When others say what they see (feedback) in a supportive, responsible way, and we are able to hear it, we are able to test the reality of who we are and are able to grow

Unknown Pane
We are more rich and complex than we, or others know
From time to time something happen – is felt, read, heard, dreamed – something from our unconscious is revealed
Then we ‘know’ what we have never ‘known’ before
“The most decisive qualities in a person are often unconscious and can be perceived only by others.” - Carl Jung
“What is unconscious, usually emerges in projection. The opposite that troubles us will continue to be projected until we understand it better.” - C.A. Meier
Ambiguity!
How does Gloria feel about Paul?
Dear Paul

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy-will you let me be yours?

Gloria
Dear Paul

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours Gloria
“I did not say he stole that money”
By Eric van den Broek
Questions?
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/eric-van-den-broek/3/345/198
Environment for personal development
Abraham Maslow
Practise then from the start to say to every harsh impression, "You are an impression, and not at all the thing you appear to be." Then examine it and test it by these rules you have, and firstly, and chiefly, by this: whether the impression has to do with the things that are up to us, or those that are not; and if it has to do with the things that are not up to us, be ready to reply, "It is nothing to me." - Epictetus
Other tooling
Tooling
Do's and Don'ts
Red
Strenghts:
Confident, determined
Loves challenges
Focused
Influencing others
Weaknessess:
Poor listener
Can be seen as arrogant
May push too hard
Doesn't wait for feedback
Overview:
Approach to life: inner certainty / Focus on action
Goals: Personal achievement and meeting challenges
Seen by others: Impatient
Do:
Be direct & to the point
Focus on results & objectives
Be brief, be bright and be gone
Don't:
Hesitate or waffle
Focus on feelings
Try to take over
Overview
Strenghts & Weaknessess
Stress Signals
Stress Causes:
Lack of focus
Indecisiveness
Being out of control
Incompetence
Stress signals:
Become aggressive
Impatient
Irritable, demanding
Remedy:
Allow for fast action
Take decisions or time out
Put them in control
Overview
Strenghts & Weaknessess
Yellow
Do's and Don'ts
Stress Signals
Approach to life: Fun & Interaction
Goals: Recognition
Seen by others as: Disorganized
Strenghts:
Quick to build relationships
Friendly and socialble
Adaptable, imaginative
Skillful presenter
Weaknesess:
May lack focus
Too casual for some
Poor planning and follow-up
Can lose interest
Do:
Be friendly & sociable
Be entertaining & stimulating
Be open & flexible
Don't:
Bore me with details
Tie me down with routine
Ask me to work alone
Stress causes:
Restriction on flexibility
No interaction and fun
Personal rejection
Slow, methodical pace
Stress signals:
Over responsive
Appears opinionated
Argumentative
Critical & rebellious
Remedy:
Allow room for manoeuvre
Save face
Distract onto something different
Green
Overview
Strenghts & Weaknessess
Do's and Don'ts
Stress Signals
Blue
Overview
Strenghts & Weaknessess
Do's and Don'ts
Stress Signals
Approach to life: Focus on stability, values & supporting others
Goals: Harmony
Seen by others: Mild & docile
Strenghts:
Build deep, long-term relations
Natural listener
Sincere & warm
Persistent
Weaknesess:
Slow to adapt
May lack enthusiasm asking for a decision
Avoid rejection
Takes difficulties personally
Do:
Be patient & supportive
Slow down & work at my pace
Ask my opinion & give me time to answer
Don't:
Take advantage of my good nature
Push me to make quick decisions
Spring last minute suprises
Stress causes:
Unfair or impersonal treatment
Violation of values
Sudden change
Interruptions of time pressures
Stress signals:
Become silent, withdrawn or hurt
Judgemental, impersonal, resistant
Stubborn and over cautious
Remedy:
Personal contact to restore trust
Understanding sincerity
Put the task aside to another day
Approach to life: High standards & correct
Goals: Understanding
Seen by others as: Dull & boring
Strenghts:
Knowledgeable & detailed
Air of competance
Asks probing questions
Thorough follow-up
Weaknesess:
Initial interaction may be difficult & stuffy
questions may be seen as critical & insensitive
Overlooks others' feelings
Focus on inconsequential details
Do:
Be well prepared & thorough
Put things in writings
Let me consider all the details
Don't:
Get too close or hug me
Be flippant on important issues
Change my routine without notice
Stress causes:
Lack of information, structure & logic
Poor quality of work
Time wasted or task rushed
Distraction
Stress signals:
Becomes questioning & deliberate
Nit picking
Aloof, withdrawn & resentful
Remedy:
Get their feedback on the way foreward
Informational & emotional support
Back to beginning & analyse more carefully
Summary
Perception
Do it!
Goal:
To stimulate you, to think differently about your day to day behavior.
(by the way: you are good the way you are!)
Communication
80% of communication is done non-verbal
So, even if don't say anything, you do communicate!
How you communicate, results in a reaction by someone else.
Action is reaction
Does this reaction contribute to your goals?
Kübler-Ross
Tip:
If you cannot communicate directly (1-on-1 or phone), only then communicate per mail.
Full transcript