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7 Habits of a Highly Effective Teen
Transcript of 7 Habits of a Highly Effective Teen
Begin with the End in Mind
Self-discover and clarify your deeply important character values and life goals. Envision the ideal characteristics for each of your various roles and relationships in life.
Put First Things First
Planning, prioritizing, and executing your week's tasks based on importance rather than urgency
Evaluating if your efforts exemplify your desired character values, propel you towards goals, and enrich the roles and relationships elaborated in Habit 2.
Seek First to Understand, then to be understood
Using empathetic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you
This creates an atmosphere of caring, respect, and positive problem solving.
Combining the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals no one person could have done alone
How to yield the most prolific performance out of a group of people through encouraging meaningful contribution, and modeling inspirational and supportive leadership.
Sharpen the Saw
Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle
Taking initiative in life by realizing your decisions (and how they align with life's principles) are the primary determining factor for effectiveness in your life
Taking responsibility for your choices and the subsequent consequences that follow
Genuinely striving for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships
Valuing and respecting people by understanding a "win" for all is ultimately a better long-term resolution than if only one person in the situation had gotten his way.
7 Habits of a Highly Effective Teen
By: Bella Robinson
-(People) taking responsibility for their lives
-First step towards achieving a private victory
* "Until you feel you are in charge of your own life, nothing else is really possible, now, is it?"
(pg. 2 of Habit 1)
Example of Being Proactive (Pg. 4 of Habit #1
-You see pictures of your best friend at a party on Facebook the night she was too busy to hang out. She doesn't know you saw the photos. Just 5 minutes ago, this same friend was sweet-talking you right to your face. You feel hurt and betrayed.
Chew her out. Shove past her as you storm off
Go into a deep depression because you feel so bad about her leaving you out
Decide she's a two0faced liar and give her the silent treatment
Go out of your way to exclude her; after all, she did it to you
Forgive her and give her a second chance
Confront her and share how you feel about her lying to you
Realize that she has weaknesses just like you and that, occasionally, you don't include her in things without really meaning any harm
That's just the way I am
There's nothing I can do
I have to
You ruined my day
I'll do it
I can do better than that
Let's look at all our options
I choose to
There's gotta be a way
Your bad mood won't affect me
Listening to Your Language
I think my language is mostly
A phrase I use a lot that is
A phrase I use a lot that is
"I can do better than that"
I can replace my
phrases with the following
-I'll do it
-I choose to
-Your bad mood won't affect me
-I can do better
The Victimitis Virus and How it Pays to be Proactive
-Victimitis: (People who) believe that everyone has it in for them and that the world owes them something; Negative attitude; Nothing is that specific person's fault; Everyone else is to blame
Can brush things off without getting offended
Take responsibility for their choices
Think before they act
Bounce back when something bad happens
Always find a way to move forward
Focus on things they can do something about and don't worry about things they can't
Take initiative to make it happen
Wait for something to happen to them
Think about problems and barriers
Are acted upon
Think about solutions and options
Example of Can-Do Situation
Pia, a friend of the "7 Habits" author, was once a young journalist in a big city in Europe. She was inexperienced and always nervous that she couldn't live up to te expectations of those of a male. One day, she found out that the Beatles were coming to town and that she'd be appointed to cover their stay.
However, she realized that every other journalist would have the same story. So, she figured that since the Beatles are so big right now, they'd have a penthouse instead of the normal hotel rooms. She walks into the hotel's lobby, dials their room number, and, to her surprise, their manager picks up the phone.
She then proceeds to explain that she's from Untied Press International and that she'd like to speak to the Beatles. He tells her to come on up. She talks to them for a few hours, loving how much respect she was getting from them.
Her story was then plastered on the front page of the leading newspaper in the country the next morning. After this experience, she realized that she could accomplish anything by being "pleasantly persistant."
Just Push Pause:
*3 Reasons Why You Should 'Just Push Pause'*
To take a breather and just relax from everything around you
Think of better ways to respond to certain situations
Give YOU the opportunity to choose what you want for yourself
Self-Awareness: I can stand apart from myself and abserve my thoughts and actions
Conscience: I can listen to my inner voice to know right from wrong
Imagination: I can envision new possibilities
Willpower: I have the power to choose
1) Be aware of your actions because they affect everythng
2) Let go of your need to control because everything is not going to go your way
3) Know that things will work out for you in the end; only if you want it to
"Explanation of What It Means To Begin With the End In Mind"
Developing a clear/semi-clear picture of where you want to go in your life
Thinking beyond today
Deciding what direction to take so that each step you take is always in the right direction
Example: Envisioning yourself a year from now being who you want to be and deciding what it's going to take to get there
"Personal Mission Statement"
Something like a personal credo or motto that states what your life is about; a blueprint to your life
The Great Discovery: QUESTIONS
1. Think of a person who made a positive difference in your life. What qualities does that person have that you
would like to develop?
2. Imagine 20 years from now-you are surrounded by the most important people in your life. Who are they
and what are you doing?
3. If a steel beam (6 inches wide) were placed across two skyscrapers, for what would you be willing to
cross? A thousand dollars? A million? Your pet? Your brother? Fame?
4. If you could spend one day in a great library studying anything you wanted, what would it be?
5. List 10 things you love to do. It could seriously be anything-Web design, dance, freestyle rapping, Pinterest
browsing, eating ethnic foods, daydreaming . . . anything you absolutely love to do!
The Great Discovery: QUESTIONS CONTINUED
6. Describe a time when you were deeply inspired.
7. Five years from now, a major news site is going to be doing a feature piece on you and they want to interview three people you’re close to. Who are they and what would you want them to say about you?
8. Think of something that represents you . . . a flower, a song, an animal . . . Why does it represent you?
9. If you could spend an hour with any person who ever lived, who would that be? Why that person? What
would you ask them?
10. Everyone has one or more talents. Which do you have?
The Great Discovery: Answers
1. My mom = positive attitude when everything has gone wrong and her patience
2. They are my future friends, my family, and my future family---> supporting me in every way possible and loving me for me
3. I'd be willing to cross the beam for everybody who deserves love, but doesn't have it.
4. I'd be studying fiction books and what makes a great fiction/romance novel.
5. I love to read, write books/stories, sing, talk, eat, draw, give advice, take care of family and friends, make people laugh, and be dependable.
The Great Discovery: Answers Continued
6. When I was reading a book called
written by Lauren Kate
7. My best friend: I'd want him to acknowledge that he can somewhat know how much I love him; my mom: I'd want her to say that I am a great leader and give examples; my brother: I'd want him to say that I inspire him
8. A wolf because I'm daring. protective, fierce, loving, and sensible to others
9. MLK Jr. because I really look up to him and respect him and his opinions and decisions. I would ask him about what gave him the strength to finally use his voice for not just himself, but for everyone else.
10. Music, sharing, writing, humor, singing, listening, speaking, predicting what will happen, accepting others, artistic, sensing needs, athletics, and creative thinking.
My Mission Statement
But loving is an adventure where
have to connect...
"Go for the Goal"
Count the Cost:
Having and setting goals for yourself
Write it Out:
Settling for less isn't enough
Just Do It:
"Do or do not. There is no try."
Use Momentous Moments:
Pacing your goals
Back up plans
Strength from both yourself and those
The Strength of Saying Yes and No
-The strength to say yes to your most important things
-The strength to say no to less important things
"Packing More Into Your Life"
-The better you organize yourself, the more you'll be able to "pack in."
-Quadrant 1: The Procrastinator
-Quadrant 2: The Prioritizer
-Quadrant 3: The Yes-Man
-Quadrant 4: The Slacker
Too Much Time In...
Q1 = Stress, anxiety, feeling burnt out, mediocre performance
Q2= Control of your life, balance, high performance
Q3 = Feeling like a follower rather than a leader, lack of discipline, feeling like a doormat for others to wipe their feet on
Q4 = Lack of responsibility, guilt, flakiness, missing out on adventures
* I spend the most time in quadrant 1. I have never been good at making plans and anytime I did, they never fell through, so I decided to stop making them...*
"Getting a Planner: Step By Step"
Step 1: Identifying Your Big Rock
"What are the most important things I need to do this week?"
*This question should be tied to your mission statement and longer-term goals*
Step 2: Block Out Time For Your Big Rocks
Example = Pebbles (everyday things), big rocks (higher priority things), and a bucket
-Pebbles go in first = No room for the big rocks on top
-Big rocks go in first = room for everything to fit together neatly
Step 3: Schedule Everything Else
Once your big rocks are taken care of, schedule in all of your other little to-dos
IMPORTANT TOPICS OF HABIT 3
Comfort and Courage
-Comfort Zone: Familiarity
-Courage Zone: Challenges that are uncomfortable and new
"Never Let Your Fears Make Your Decisions."
"Winning Means Rising Each Time You Fall."
"Be Strong In The Hard Moments."
-The Totem Pole
-The Downward Spiral
Win-Lose: The Totem Pole
Never pays to think Win-Lose
What is a Win-Lose?
-An attitude towards life that says the pie of success is only so big, and if you get a big piece there is less for me.
-Using other people, emotionally or physically, for your own selfish purpose
-Trying to get ahead at the expense of someone else
-Gossiping/Spreading rumors about someone else (as if putting someone down builds you up)
-Always insisting on getting your way without thinking about other people's feelings
-Getting jealous when something good happens to someone close to you
What is Lose-Win?
-Setting low expectations and compromising your standards over and over again
Lose-Lose: The Downward Spiral
-War and Revenge
- "If I'm going down, then you're going down with me."
Win-Win: The All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet
What is a Win-Win?
-A belief that everyone can win
"I won't step on you, but I won't be your doormat either
The most surprising benefit of thinking Win-Win is, perhaps, the good feelings it brings on
"Before I can walk in another's shoes, I must first remove my own." -Unkown
The Deepest Need of the Human Heart
Why is this habit key to communication?
-Because the deepest need of the human heart is to be understood.
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."
Five Poor Listening Style
1. Spacing Out
2. Pretend Listening
3. Selective Listening
4. Word Listening
5. Self-Centered Listening
What Does This Mean?
-Someone is talking, but we ignore them because our mind is wondering off in another galaxy
-Your friend is talking to you about his/her break up and instead of listening you're daydreaming about being anywhere but there.
What does this mean?
-It's more common to not pay attention, but at least you are pretending to listen by making insightful comments at key junctures
-Your sibling is telling you about their day at school and what they did that got them really excited, but you only respond with "cool" or "sure" or even "yup"
What does this mean?
-We pay attention only to the part of the conversation that interests us
-Your best friend is talking about their experience of being held at gun point at Dunkin Donuts, but the only thing you hear is Dunkin Donuts and start rambling about how much you love Dunkin Donuts.
What does this mean?
-Occurs when we pay attention to what someone is saying, but we listen only to the words, not the body language, the feelings, or the true meaning behind the words
-Someone asks you your opinion over what you think about a certain person. You reply with "He/She is cool." But, the person really meant whether you think so-and-so likes her or not
What does this mean?
-Happens when we see everything from our own point of view
-Judging others by how you think they should act/how they should be
1st...Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears
2nd...Stand in their shoes
But...what is mirroring?
Use your own words
Come off as warm and caring
- "It sounds like you feel..."
- "So, as I see it..."
- "I can see that you are feeling..."
-"You feel that..."
- "So, what you're saying is.."
*Giving feedback is an important part of seeking to be understood*
"Alone we can do so little: together we can do so much more." -
What Does Synergize Mean Exactly?
Basically, synergy is achieved when 2 or more people work together to create a better solution than either could alone.
"It's not your way or my way, but a better way, a higher way."
Finding new and better ways
Thinking you're always right
Learn to Celebrate Your Differences
There are 3 different approaches to do this...
Level 1: Shun Diversity
Level 2: Tolerate Diversity
Level 3: Celebrate Diversity
LEVEL 1: Shun Diversity
Afraid of differences
Enjoys ridiculing those who are different
Believe that they are seeing the world from some terrible pestilence
LEVEL 2: Tolerate Diversity
Believes that everyone has the right to be different
Don't shun diversity, but don't embrace it either
"You keep to yourself and I'll keep to myself. You do your thing and let me do mine. You don't bother me and I don't bother you."
Never get to synergy because they see differences as hurdles, not as potential strengths to build upon
LEVEL 3: Celebrate Diversity
See differences as an advantage
Learned that 2 people who think differently can achieve more than 2 people who think alike
Getting to Synergy Action Plan
1. Define the problem/opportunity
2. Their Way (seek first to understand the ideas of others)
3. My Way (seek to be understood by sharing your ideas
4. Brainstorm (create new options and ideas
5. High Way (find the best solution
Teamwork and Synergy
Stick to a job until it's done
Very supportive of leaders; can run with an idea and follow through on making it work
Creative idea people
Provide unity, support, and are great synergizers as they work with others and encourage operation
Fun to work with, but tough at times; add the spice and momentum needed to bring the team overall success
"The wonderful by-product of teamwork and synergy is that it builds relationships."
Sharpen the Saw
Why do we call it "sharpen the saw?"
-It's about keeping your personal self sharp so that you can better deal with life
-Regularly renewing and strengthening the 4 key dimensions of your life...
1. Your Body
2. Your Brain
3. Your Heart
4. Your Soul
BODY: The Physical Dimension
BRAIN: The Mental Dimension
-Learn New Skills
HEART: The Emotional Dimension
Learn to Love Yourself
SOUL: The Spiritual Dimension
-Keep a Journal
-Take in Quality Media
Balance is Better
Why is balance better?
-It's because how you do in one dimension of life will be affected unevenly
"Balance and moderation in all things."
The Refusal Skill
1. Ask Questions-tough questions that really make you think about what you're doing
2. Name the Trouble-put a face on what you're doing
3. State the Consequences-think through the consequences of your actions
4. Suggest an Alternative-have your own list of fun alternatives ready to go whenever you're being lured in
5. Take Off-if you get caught in a situation that just doesn't look good or makes you uncomfortable, don't worry about what everyone might think of you, get out of there
Ways to Sharpen Your Mind...
-Write a story, poem, or song
-Playing challenging games
Post-High School Educational Options: Areas Admissions Offices Will Be Looking For
1. Desire: How badly do you want to gt into this particular school or program? How much do you want this job?
2. Standardized Test Scores: How well did you score on your ACT, SAT, GRE, LSAT, etc.
3. Extracurricular: What other activities were you involved in?
4. Letters of Recommendation: What do others think of you? Would you recommend you as a good candidate?
5. Grade Point Average: How well did you do in school?
6. Communication Skills: How well can you communicate in writing and verbally?
What would you do if you had 8 hours to cut down a tree?
"I'd spend the first hours sharpening my saw."