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Chelsea Varin

on 19 October 2015

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Transcript of CONSENT

Defining Sexual Assault and Rape

What is Consent?
Getting permission for touching, kissing, or various sexual behaviors. Consent culture is becoming a wider spread movement. If one does not have consent for a said act, the act is often considered sexual assault

"Can I kiss you?"
"Would you like me to touch your thigh?"

Are examples of people using consent.
Why Talk About Consent?
By practicing consent we can prevent UNCOMFORTABLE sexual experiences.

We can prevent rapes and sexual assaults from happening

We can use bystander intervention to stop Sexual Assaults and Rape from happening as well.
Consent Culture
-A consent culture is one where sexual acts are centered around mutual consent.
-Respect if someone doesn't want to do something.
-It's a culture that believes that a person is always the best judge of their own wants and needs.

How does Consent Culture Work?

Consent culture works like this:

"May I give you a hug?"(Or outstretched arms in typical hug fashion)
"Absolutely!" ( Reciprocated arms in typical hug fashion)
What is Rape?
The FBI recently just changed their definition from:
'Carnal knowledge of a female penetrated forcibly and against her will.' (Did not include men, and other types of Sexual Assault or Rape)

Part of social life
Don't want to talk to someone? You don't have to. Don't want a hug? That's okay, no hug then.
Don't want to try fish? That's fine.
Don't want to be tickled or noogied? Then it's not funny to chase you down and do it anyway.

New Definition: Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.
Difference between Sexual Assault and Rape
The definition of rape was limited to "the forcible vaginal penetration of a woman against her will by a man other than her husband. Any other form of sex crime had to be prosecuted as simple assault or battery and was rarely prosecuted at all. "
Now the terms are used interchangeably
depending on the state you are in and
the state's definition of Rape or Sexual

The word Sexual Assault
was used to define an
experience that did not have
an act of 'unprovoked violence'
about it.

Some people believe Rape has
too dark of a connotation
and implies violence
Sexual Assault can happen to
men just as much as women,
Lets Look at Some Statistics
What Can We do About These Statistics?
-Start A Conversation
-Learn Refusal Skills
-Learn Acceptance Skills
reciprocate any act
just because your
partner did it to you
or asked you to.
You never have to relieve anyone's
vasocongestion (Blue Balls)
There are plenty of options
(Masturbation, a shower, warm
water, aspirin, wait until later.)

YES! Is the ONLY form of
Ask for permission at EVERY
It gives you the power to say no when
you really truly don't want something

It is sexy to be in charge of your experience
When can you say no?
ANYTIME! You can be kissing
and say no.
You can have performed oral sex on each other
and say no.
You can have had sex 1,000 times and still
say no.
You can have all your clothes off and still
say no.
You can be having sex and STILL SAY NO

If your partner does not stop, it can
be considered sexual assault or rape
Non Consent in the
Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke
promotes Rape Culture
What is Rape Culture?
Rape Culture is an environment in which rape and sexual violence against women and men is normalized.

It's excused in the media and popular culture.

•Blaming the victim (“She asked for it!”)
•Trivializing sexual assault (“Boys will be boys!”)
•Sexually explicit jokes
•Tolerance of sexual harassment
•Rape jokes: I just 'raped that test'.
•Publicly scrutinizing a victim’s dress, mental state, motives, and history
•Defining “manhood” as dominant and sexually aggressive
•Assuming only promiscuous women get raped
•Assuming that men don’t get raped or that only “weak” men get raped
•Refusing to take rape accusations seriously
•Teaching women to avoid getting raped instead of teaching men not to rape
Examples of Rape Culture
Can Happen Anywhere, bars,
parties, fraternities, sororities,
house parties etc.

-Watch your drink vs. teaching
(usually men) sometimes women
to NOT date rape
Most sexual Assaults and Rapes happen when
a person is under the influence.

*Being drunk is a NO. The person cannot make
an informed decision
What to do if you you have been raped or Sexually Assaulted. Or you think you may have been, and your not sure.
-Talk to a trusted friend,
a teacher, mentor, counselor,
If none of those options are right for you, call the
toll free hotline: 1877-212-2323
Texting Hotline soon to be available
Available 24/7.
Even if you need someone to talk to.
Accompany you to the exam room
You can choose to report or not report

Other great resources
Street Harassment
-Street Harassment is unwanted touching, conversation, or verbal abuse from one person to another in ANY public place.
Examples: 'Whistling, Hey Beautiful have a good night', Good morning sweetie, Damnnnn! You fine, look at that....A$$, groping, touching that is unwanted.

Or Catcalling
"I hate these blurred lines,
I know you want it."
What to do if you or your partner is catcalled:
-Do not jeopardize your safety
-'Faux flattery'
=Tell them they're a creep
-"I think you missed the point when nobody asked your opinion"
-I'm not your X,Y,Z.'
-Tell them off
-Ignore them and walk away

Ways to ask for consent:
-Are you enjoying yourself?
-How does THAT feel?
-Do you like that?
-Do you want me to keep going?
-How far do you want to go?
-You look uncomfortable,
are you okay?
How to NOT ask for Consent
-'Cmon I thought you liked me'
-'I promise, you'll like it'
-'Just do it for me'
-'What's the big deal, we've had sex before'
-'BUT I'm so horny right now!'
-You liked it last weekend
-I just did it to you, now you do it to me
What Consent sounds like
-'Oh man, that feel so good'
-Why yes, I would like that.
-I'm down for anything in these areas, just not these areas.
-They start singing 'Touch my body'
by Mariah Carey
Molestation: the crime of sexual acts with children up to the age of 18, including touching of private parts, exposure of genitalia, taking of pornographic pictures, rape, inducement of sexual acts with the molester or with other children, and variations of these acts by pedophiles. Molestation also applies to incest by a relative with a minor family member, and any unwanted sexual acts with adults short of rape.
In New York State, the age of Consent is 17.
A person who is under age 16 but older than 13 years old can consent to sex with a person who is no more than 4 years older; the crime of the 3rd degree rape only happens when a person over the age of 21 has sex with a person who is under seventeen years old or younger.
Many teenagers first become sexually active before the age of 17. So what then? If you are having sex at 15 or 16, are you breaking the law?
If you are 13 years or younger, you cannot legally consent, regardless of whether the other person is the same age or not.
3 Main Reasons Why People Do Not Practice Consent
1) Fear of rejection

2) Body Language

3)Killing the Mood
-See the fork in the road, take
the other view.
-What is in place is a green light,
go ahead.
-Danger in body language is that it can
be too easily misinterpreted
-You may be endorsing the fact that
Other people have other people
have access to your body, without
asking permission for that access.
Full transcript