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Encouragement Day 4

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by

Lori Allen

on 27 September 2016

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Transcript of Encouragement Day 4

Think of a flashlight - you illuminate what you want to see. What you focus on teaches the children what
you
value.
Contributing to the welfare of others builds self worth.
Children need to believe they are meaningful contributors to the school family. This belief builds self-worth and value within the individual.
Encouragement
Building the School Family
The Power of Unity
A dose of hope! We all need to feel safe to take a risk.
day 4
www.consciousdiscipline.com
We are all in this together!
We are interconnected
The essential impulse of all life is a will to connect
We all have an innate need to bond
Routines Regulate students' internal clocks
Write down all the routines for the day so you can be clear about what you expect your children to know and do.

What role do you expect children to play in management of the tasks and routines?


during transitions?
when lining up?
during breakfast/lunch/snack?
hygiene expectations? (nose blowing, hand washing, etc.)
during dismissal?
Rituals - Create a caring culture
List the kinds of things you do that are rituals - sacred spaces of time designed for togetherness and unity.
Have predictability and connection as their goal
Release "teaching" cognitive skills! - Allow moments where the number one goal is connection. They ARE learning!!
This is the most important part of creating a School Family.
Has a calming effect

Emotional State Skills:
Inhibits the Purpose of Rituals:
Minimized rituals
- academic achievement is the only goal. little attention to whole child - rituals only when time permits.
Rigid rituals
- created by teacher and must be done the same way every time. Nothing new - if you do it wrong, you are excluded from the group.
Obligatory rituals
- rituals only occur because the "should" or "was told to". These lack true connection. They become
routines
.
HOMEWORK!
Read pages 184-193 in
Conscious Discipline
by Becky Bailey.

*Not only do children need to feel significant, but they need YOU to value and notice!!
What do you have in place?
Can it be done better?
Review your jobs (or begin by implementing one!) and reflect on whether they are meaningful.
Did you explicitly teach each job by modeling and discussing its importance? If not, revisit your chart with the students!
Do you catch yourself taking jobs away as punishment?
Part one:
Part two:
Take time to "notice" acts of kindness. Journal about how your children reacted to your noticing.
Teacher A
Mistake in perception!
"sees" a child off task, and asks, "Where should you be right now? You better get there or you will not center time later."
Sees child acting poorly.
sees what is not good enough
discourages the child
both teacher and child feel inadequate and disconnected
taught the other children to feel the same way.
Teacher B
"Sees a child who needs help focusing. She walks over and offers assistance by saying, "What will help you, right now, to complete your puzzle instead of throwing the pieces?"
Sees the child's behavior as a call for help, and chooses to encourage the child. His "misbehavior" is not a sign of "badness" but a call for assistance.
Command vs. Request
Some forms of praise can be discouraging. Effective praise relies on describing, not judging
"You are sitting with your legs crossed so you friends are safe1"
"You are standing on one leg balancing with your arms like this."
The kinds of praise that inhibits a child's self-esteem:
General - makes a child feel pressure to live up to unrealistic standards. (She is always so sweet)
"Good" = pleasing others / "Bad" = displeasing others
Focus on how you think or feel- to "make" them behave.
Praise only successful, completed tasks - effort does not matter.
Praise Noticing

"Good Job, Erika"



"That was excellent!"

"That was a great slide!"
"Erika, you put your toys in the bin and carefully matched your labels on the shelf."

"You did it! You finished all your homework!"

You did it! You came down the slide feet first!"
Children need encouragement especially when they have made "poor" choices.
"I have confidence you can figure this out."
"You'll figure out a way to be helpful. I know that inside, you do not like being hurtful."
"This is hard, but I know you can do it. Let me know if you need help."
" We all make mistakes. What can you do now to be helpful?"
"You can do it!"
Job Board Reflections
Chronic or infrequent?


Infrequent? =bad day - let child ask others for help. (responsibility)
Is the job meaningful?
Really used in the classroom or made up just to have "enough" jobs?
Do children know how their job helps the School Family?
"Mike, you are holding the door open so everyone can walk out safely!"
Ask children why they do their job
.
Can they tell you why they do their job? Extend!
Effective ways to praise and encourage children
How to notice instead of judge children so that every child feels seen.
Ways to teach children how to be helpful, contributing, valuable members of a group
The power of "you did it!"
Request:
the person has a choice

Command:
expectation has no choice involved. (assertive voice)

Noticing compliance:
"You did it. You sat down so your friends can see. Good for you!"
Connection is the force behind encouragement. When a relationship is severed, so is our willingness to be
connected.
(judgement) (describing)
Connection is the force behind encouragement. When the relationship is severed, so is our willingness to be _____________.
(*1 Power of Unity video to 7:25)
Emotional State Skills:
R
= Rituals
E
= Encouragement
J
= Jobs
E
= Empathy
C
= Choices
T
= The School Family
Stress always __________ serotonin levels.


_____________ raises serotonin levels.
lowers
Mastery
Connected
ACTIVITY
Pg 178 - Conscious Discipline, by Dr. Becky Bailey
Use binder page 14 (top of page) to practice the skill of noticing on any one of the situations you choose on page 178. you may discuss with your table.
"That was Helpful" video
*5 Teachers Encouraging Students - Special Needs PreK
R
ituals



E
ncouragement



J
obs



E
mpathy



C
hoices



T
he School Family
provide valuable opportunities to connect. Implementing caring classroom rituals cultivates compassion. Compassion
accepting children for who they are. Based on noticing and connecting, and teachers what classroom values like "helpful" look, sound and feel like.
being of service to others activates the higher centers of the brain. With a job for every student, each child contributes daily to the success of the classroom.
teaches emotional regulation and integrates the brain so children can take personal responsibility for the actions.
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