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Communication and Connection

Zach Beach and Kathy Labriola
by

Zachary Beach

on 11 August 2017

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Transcript of Communication and Connection

The Dance of Communication
Summary
Communication and Connection
Learn to Love
Changing the idea that we are all just “supposed to know” how to love
Communication 101
Kicking off the conversation
Love
heals

Love is the only
sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.

― Erich Fromm
Communication
"Just tell me what to say"
An exchange of information
The speaker is
Their words are
The Listener is
Kind
Honest
Difficult
Present
Open
Vulnerable
Aware
Expressing emotions
Using "I" statements
Downplaying importance of a problem
Waiting to have their say
Insisting on offhand advice
Their words are not
Criticizing
Blaming
Judging
The Listener is not
Creating connection through:
Attunement
Responsiveness
Generosity
Affection
Empathy

Further Reading
We want to learn about:
Connection
Disconnection
The speaker is not
Avoiding conflict
Honesty
Communication
Practicing love every day
Fulfillment
Love and fear
Different kinds of love
Polyamory
Squirting
Couples who capitalize on each other’s
good fortunes
,
by responding to their partner’s
good news
with their own enthusiasm and outward encouragement,
have
higher quality
relationships.







They enjoy more
intimacy, commitment, and passion
with each other,
and find their relationship to be more satisfying overall.

-
Barbara Fredrickson
,
Love 2.0
We also communicate through:

Facial expression
Tone of voice
Touch
Gesture
Bodily State

Barbara Fredrickson
, Love 2.0

Marty Klein
, Sexual Intelligence

John Gottman
, What Makes Love Last?

Louis Cozolino
, The Neuroscience of Human Relationships

Daniel Goleman
, Social Intelligence, Emotional Intelligence

Stan Tatkin,

Allan Schore
,
Daniel Siegel

Neurobiology/Neuropsychology of Relationships


Psychological love
Perceived partner responsiveness
Feeling seen.

Interpersonal resonance
Feeling understood.

Positivity resonance
Feeling loved.

Ways to bring love in right now:

Kindness
Care
Encouragement
Smiles
Presence
Vulnerability
March 17:
Charlie Glickman
Sex Shame and Love


April 21:
Kathy Labriola

Communication and Connection



May 14:
John Prendergast
Secrets of the Heart,
Uncovering Unconditional Love
It's not
what
we say, but:

how
we say it
when
we say it
why
we say it
What does the research say?
Pause
Take a breath
Successful relationships
1. Are in touch with their emotions
2. Deal with conflict as it arises
3. Are kind to each other
4. Are present

Full transcript