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First Draft Worksheet

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briana tesfaye

on 11 August 2014

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Transcript of First Draft Worksheet

First Draft Worksheet
Instructions:
Copy and paste the following text into a document or create a document that contains the same information.
Using your essay in response to the unit's writing prompt, complete the following steps to improve your essay.

Introduction
1. Insert your introductory paragraph with your central claim. Include any revisions your instructor asked you to make.

Would you agree that Brutus was a patriot or a traitor? I personally think that he was a little of both but he was mostly a patriot. Brutus was a patriot because he killed Caesar for the sake of Rome while Cassius and the rest of the conspirators killed Caesar because they were jealous of him and his power. Brutus was a patriot because he intended on keeping Rome a free country. However, Brutus was a traitor for killing his friend Caesar instead of considering other options. Brutus was finally convinced to kill Caesar when Cassius planted fake letters from Rome inside Brutus’s room that said they would prefer if Caesar was indeed killed.
3. Highlight each part of your body paragraphs as follows:
• Green = Claim
• Yellow = Counterclaim
• Red = Refuted counterclaim
Idea Development
2. Write the body and conclusion of your argument in the space below.

Some people might say that Brutus was a traitor because he decided he was going to help kill Caesar instead of considering different options.

However, I believe Brutus was a patriot because instead of joining the conspiracy right away when he is offered the chance by Cassius, he refuses because he does not think Caesar deserves something so harsh. Once Cassius plants the fake notes from Rome Brutus decides to kill Caesar because he doesn’t want the people becoming Caesars slaves. He killed Caesar for the sake of Rome and not out of jealousy.
Brutus may also seem like a traitor because he chooses to die rather than be captured and lives the rest of his life in shame for killing Caesar.

I think in a way he was being a coward but overall he was being brave. When Brutus kills himself he shouts out words of peace to Caesars spirit. Since Brutus dies Caesars spirit does not have to worry about getting revenge on him.
Brutus is also a patriot because he wants to make sure that when they kill Caesar that no one that might try to defend Caesar can get in the way so he and the conspirators will not be forced to have to injure or kill anyone else. This makes Brutus a patriot because when Cassius suggests killing Antony Brutus says “It’ll look like we killed Caesar out of anger and Mark Antony out of envy. Let’s be sacrificers but not butchers, Caius. We’re all against what Caesar stands for, and there’s no blood in that.” There fore he has good intentions. I also believe Brutus was a patriot because of the speech he made to the people about why he had murdered Caesar. He explains that has Caesar had to die for his ambition and since he loved Rome more than he loved Caesar it was his duty to kill him. He also states that he is sad that Caesar had to die but that he would prefer him dead rather than have the people of Rome as slaves. He finally says that he will kill himself when his country is in need of his death. In the end of the story he does kill himself therefore he was true to his word. I conclude Brutus was a patriot for killing his friend for the sake of his country.
Although he may seem like a traitor Brutus was very brave and in the end he sacrificed himself Rome and Caesars spirit. Brutus had some flaws but he is only human and he tried doing the best and this shows he has good intentions. Put yourself Brutus’s place, what path would you have chosen?

4. Based on your highlighting, what are the areas of your argument that need development?
I think my conclusion could use more words because it seems too short.
5. Incorporate two direct quotations from the text of Julius Caesar to better support your claim. Paste the examples below.
“Caesar, you can rest now. I didn’t kill you half as willingly.” I also used “It’ll look like we killed Caesar out of anger and Mark Antony out of envy. Let’s be sacrificers but not butchers, Caius. We’re all against what Caesar stands for, and there’s no blood in that.”
6. Write sentences that introduce the relevancy of these quotations, and use a colon before each quotation. Paste these sentences below.
When Brutus kills himself he shouts out words of peace to Caesars spirit “Caesar, you can rest now. I didn’t kill you half as willingly.” I also used quotations when I said: Brutus is a patriot because when Cassius suggests killing Antony Brutus says “It’ll look like we killed Caesar out of anger and Mark Antony out of envy. Let’s be sacrificers but not butchers, Caius. We’re all against what Caesar stands for, and there’s no blood in that.”

7. Paste all of your revised body paragraphs and conclusion in the space below. Bold the transitions. Remember, transitions are used between examples and between examples and explanations.
8. Identify what you have done to create a cohesive argument throughout this essay, especially in your conclusion.
I have made my conclusion longer to make the reader’s understanding clear.
9. Identify three areas where you can further improve this argument. Make these revisions and past the improved essay below.
Improved argument are italicized and noted.

Would you agree that Brutus was a patriot or a traitor? I personally think that he was a little of both but he was mostly a patriot. Brutus was a patriot because he killed Caesar for the sake of Rome while Cassius and the rest of the conspirators killed Caesar because they were jealous of him and his power. Brutus was a patriot because he intended on keeping Rome a free country.
However
, Brutus was a traitor for killing his friend Caesar instead of considering other options. Brutus was finally convinced to kill Caesar when Cassius planted fake letters from Rome inside Brutus’s room that said they would prefer if Caesar was indeed killed.

Some people might say that Brutus was a traitor because he decided he was going to help kill Caesar instead of considering different options.
However
, I believe Brutus was a patriot because instead of joining the conspiracy right away when he is offered the chance by Cassius, he refuses because he does not think Caesar deserves something so harsh. Once Cassius plants the fake notes from Rome Brutus decides to kill Caesar because he doesn’t want the people becoming Caesars slaves. He killed Caesar for the sake of Rome and not out of jealousy. Brutus may also seem like a traitor because he chooses to die rather than be captured and live the rest of his life in shame for killing Caesar. I think in a way he was being a coward but overall he was being brave.
When Brutus kills himself he shouts out words of peace to Caesars spirit “Caesar, you can rest now. I didn’t kill you half as willingly.”
Since Brutus dies Caesars spirit does not have to worry about getting revenge on him.

Brutus is also a patriot because he wants to make sure that when they kill Caesar that no one that might try to defend Caesar can get in the way so he and the conspirators will not be forced to have to injure or kill anyone else.
This makes Brutus a patriot because when Cassius suggests killing Antony Brutus says “It’ll look like we killed Caesar out of anger and Mark Antony out of envy. Let’s be sacrificers but not butchers, Caius. We’re all against what Caesar stands for, and there’s no blood in that.”

Therefore
he has good intentions. I also believe Brutus was a patriot because of the speech he made to the people about why he had murdered Caesar. He explains that has Caesar had to die for his ambition and since he loved Rome more than he loved Caesar it was his duty to kill him. He also states that he is sad that Caesar had to die but that he would prefer him dead rather than have the people of Rome as slaves. He finally says that he will kill himself when his country is in need of his death. In the end of the story he does kill himself therefore he was true to his word.

I
conclude
Brutus was a patriot for killing his friend for the sake of his country. Although he may seem like a traitor Brutus was very brave and in the end he sacrificed himself Rome and Caesars spirit.
Although
Brutus knows he killed Caesar for a good reason he seems conscious that what he did was wrong because he gets frightened when he sees Caesars ghost.
Brutus had some flaws but he is only human and he tried doing the best and this shows he has good intentions. Put yourself Brutus’s place, what path would you have chosen?
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