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Transcript of Congruent Communication
Low Control Approach Hiam Ginott
- Clinical psychologist, child therapist, parent educator, and author.
- professor of psychology at New York University
- Author of three books Between Parent and Child (1965), Between Parent and Teenager (1967), and Teacher and Child (1972) Ginott is known for: Ginott's teachings Harmonious and authentic
1. The teacher must model communication that is congruent with students emotions and surroundings
2. The teacher must include cooperative learning
3. It is important to use discipline in place of punishment Congruent Communication The Classroom Highlighting the critical role of communication in discipline
Setting the personal caring tone that is present in today's system of discipline He reminds teachers that learning always takes place in the present tense.
-teachers must never prejudice students or hold grudges
Learning is always a personal matter to the student
He believed in harmonious communication
- Communication that is harmonious with students feelings about situations and themselves Ginott's theories Setting limits and using compassion and congruent communication as the key tool
There is no such thing as an unacceptable child only unacceptable behaviors
Encourages parents and teachers to set clear boundaries for behaviors while acknowledging and exploring emotions 2. express anger appropriately 3. Invite Cooperation 4. Accept and acknowledge student feelings
- address situations rather than students characters
- acknowledge and accept students feelings
- often teachers use language that blames, orders, admonishes, accuses, ridicules, belittles of threatens children.
- use language that focuses on situation and facts not threatening child's self esteem
- Students can annoy and irritate teachers making them angry.
- Anger is a genuine feeling, and teachers should express their anger in reasonable and appropriate ways that do not jeopardize the self-esteem of their students 1. Sane messages - address the situation - Use "I" messages - labeling is disabling - Provide opportunities for students to experience independence, accepting their capabilities
- Give students a choice in matters that effect life in the classroom (seating arrangements, classroom procedures )
- Avoid long drawn out instructions, instead gibe brief statement allowing students to decide their specific course of action by inviting cooperation you begin to break down students dependency on yourself - When a problem occurs listen to students and accept the feelings they are expressing as real.
- Serve as a sounding board to help students clarify their feelings and let them know their feelings are common. 5. Avoid labeling the student 7. Avoid harmful questions 8. Accept students' comments "you are so irresponsible, unreliable" Avoid these types of statements.
When students hear these they may develop a negative self-image.
instead strive to be helpful and encouraging 6. Use direction as a means of correction Instead of criticizing students when a problem occurs
teachers should describe the situation to the students and offer guidance about what they should be doing.
for example.... When a student spills supplies on the floor, offer some suggestions about ways to clean up rather than criticize the student Avoid asking questions that might incite resentment and invite resistance. No "why" questions =
"why can't you be good for a change?"
"why do you forget everything I tell you?" Instead point out that there is a problem and invite students to discuss ways to solve the problem! Students may ask questions and make statements that are unrelated to the topic at hand.
Show respect and give credit for the question or comment because it may be important to the student in some way. 12 ways teachers can express congruent communication by protecting and building students self-esteem 11. Be Brief when dealing with minor mishaps 10. Avoid hurried help 9. Do not use sarcasm The use of sarcasm in the classroom, though it may sound witty to you, may leave students with hurt feelings and damaged self-esteem When a problem arises:
listen to the problem
give students credit for formulating it
then ask "what options are open to you?" In this way, you provide students with an opportunity to acquire competence in themselves Long, logical explanations are not needed when there is a lost assignment or broken supplies.
Brief statements should be solution-oriented Congruent communication-harmonious and authentic
Teacher is facilitator of whole class discussions
Cooperation - classroom rules, seating, etc.
No punishment - counter-productive, leaves student feeling they have paid the price and can do it again
Behavior addressed not students character, personal and private discussion of bad behavior
Rewards- put pressure on student can be misunderstood, given carefully and sparingly
Praise only if authentic and warranted
Students express feelings and come up with their own solutions Examples Imagine that you have your students working in small groups on a project. Then one of the students begins to talk in an angry way to another group member, stands up, and tosses some papers aside. How would you communicate with that student using Ginott's principles of congruent communication? Two students are arguing over a pencil in class..... "I heard both of you and I don't like what I heard. Let ME have this object of contention. Meantime here is a pencil for you and a pencil for you. Please decide after class whose pencil it is. And now, back to work." Student well-being is fostered:
effective communication skills
Teachers model self-discipline to students
Encourages students self-direction and empowerment
Lures students into learning rather than commanding No negative consequences for disruptive behavior
Teacher need to master a new personality and language
Relies on students being able to make reasoned judgement and communicate
Won't work instantaneously “I've come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It's my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized.”
- Hiam Ginott