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The 7 Master Steps For Creating Lasting Change
Transcript of The 7 Master Steps For Creating Lasting Change
Problems are really questions that have not been answered, and it is easy to forget that it really is a question, and so it is easy to forget that u are seeking an answer.
The way a problem is defined and how it is expressed metaphorically through problem behaviors is essential to its solutions
Creating New Empowering Alternatives
Guide them through specific strategies and ways to meet their needs. In first person, strategize and guide them through many specific ways to do it.
Reframe the problem in solve-able terms
Utilize the problem by reframing it to serve and being in line with the new way of meeting the needs.
"I made myself know I'm serious by going to edge of considering suicide, but I won't do that to those I love so now it's time to get back in the game" - Jim video
The 7 Master Steps
Understand their MotW
When you complete Step One of the 7 Master Steps, you have the blueprint of the person – what he or she wants, what motivates them, why they behave the way they do, and by giving them these insights you are already changing them in a positive direction.
You can also do step 1 for a couple, family and larger systems
You can root it, each element. Values, beliefs etc. Gives clarity.
The 7 Master Steps gives you the specific sequence, principles and tools to follow to help someone to permanently transform so that they reach the deepest level of fulfillment possible as well as the greatest opportunity to grow and contribute to others. The purpose of the 7 Master Steps is to give you the power to influence yourself and others, and to consistently produce your desired results.
In order to understand someone you need to know what they want, value, fear and believe. These are the filters through which they experience life. You need to understand which two of the six human needs they value most and how those needs are habitually met as well as what is preventing those needs from being met. You need to know what emotions the person habitually experiences and what are the rewards and punishments they are currently facing.
"To influence other people, we must know what is already influencing them.
To uncover, see, feel, and ultimately harness the controlling forces within another human being."
We can only influencing people, by entering into their world. You can’t influence someone when you’re judging them.
When you care about them, when you feel for them, when you appreciate them, that’s when you’re going to be able to influence them.
When you step totally outside of yourself
Where change becomes a must!
The most amount of leverage is found in their top two needs
All change happens in a trance, and you’re in a trance anytime you go inside. While you are in here, new connections can happen. Whenever you listen to a story, and you can give an experience to people by telling a story.
You understand who they are, the choices they’ve made and why they are the where they are.
Strateiges / Other part of Array
A is where they are, B is the Outcome of this intervention, which always is an example of as much fulfillment as possible, with the limits being the time-frame and my skills as an Interventionist.
The distance in between (C) is the intervention.
Overview of the process
What is their biggest problem?
What is their most limiting pattern?
How can I serve them?
How can I make it better?
Setting the outcome for the Intervention
- “The truth shall set you free”
How do you know when the intervention is done?
What is the V-A-K feedback? The evidence for exiting the strategy of "7 Master Steps"
I need to get a clarity about the Abstract -> Specific level that Tony does his interventions, not so much in chunk size, but in neuro logical levels size.
Meaning, if you want to respond emotionally to an environment differently, then anchor. U know you're done when you're faced with the same situation and feel the new state.
But how does it work with higher levels? Like values? Identity? See what I mean?
You really shouldn't stay with just creating leverage
and hoping it works. You begin with the end in mind.
And clear outcomes. And clarity of feedback/evidence, meaning; knowing when the intervention has succeeded.
Starts with using a new triad, a new resource.
A new energy, fuel. A new state. A new part of them.
Touch where "x" (part/energy/archetype) reside and live physically in your body
"As if" - Breath as if, walk, etc. Engage entire physiology as if.
Make the sound of X
What do you say when you feel completely and totally x?
Contrast 1-100, past vehicle vs. new
From the Bev Vid: Comparing "Envying self" vs. different foods she used to overeat on.
Interrupt the limiting pattern
What are the consequences of this?
Find what they value MORE than their pain
Recall a memory, vividly
Imagine a future
Lvl.1 - A New Triad
Lvl. 2 - A New Identity
What kind of person are you?
Define what "new Identity" is and what it isn't
Contrast with past/old and challenge.
Breathing - Deep/Shallow
Using the triad to influence the belief system
by influencing and expanding from it.
By considering the same "object" in our external world, but now creating new meanings. Changing what it is, from "this is the end" to "It's the beginning".
Looking at the world with new eyes
What new emotion could you feel?
What belief would bring you to the best place you could possibly be?
Questions of this step
Cut of any other possibilities! Burn the boats!
Real reasons, a vision. This is a must.
And it is only found in a great state!
In this state, you find a way or you make a way.
When we make something a must, it doesn't require any willpower any more. Cause we attach ourselves to it and it becomes a part of our identity.
"Human beings absolutely follow through on who they believe they are."
Standards comes from identity. It's not changing your identity, but expanding it.
So much part of your focus, so often, with so much emotional intensity that it sensetises you to get you there. (RES Laser Activated)
From the "Move from change to progress" - Video:
1. A vision that's compelling
2. Strong enough reasons
3. Review and feel it every day
Michael Jordan: "Every day I demand more from myself than anybody else can humanly expect. I don't compete with my friends or anyone around me, I compete with what I'm capable of"
How important is it to guide them through sensory experience? (V-A-K)
Condition & Test
Why? How do you know?
What's different past/now?
Come at them with the old triggers and thoughts
Generalize the present thoughts/actions that are in line with SI outcome
Generalize beliefs from "ideal" outcome
Anchor it for future terms
Future pace a new evaluation in the context
Utilize the past by reframing the meaning of it to serve and be in line with the SI outcome,
"if you continue to make it okay to retaliate even in your head, then you contribute to the problem of what was done to you" - Tony to Asad
"But in my opinion, if you allow that space in your head which you have every right to have, then you’re not a Nelson Mandela and people say I can’t do that. That’s [expletive] [0:32:57] every person is a Nelson Mandela. Everybody has got it in them. Whether they choose to or not has to do whether you’re selfish or you’re focused on to the greater good"
"So for you, I don’t have an easy answer but I’m curious. Do you think if you – and you have every right to do it, if you keep that awareness, that feeling of now they understand, do you think they really understand? That’s my first question. (A: No)"
Then how can you as one individual make a difference if you still understand yourself, if it’s still a little bit okay inside of you because you understand or do you have to extract that out and go to the next level like Mandela did? Which Mandela doesn’t have one ounce of it’s okay for that violence in him. He doesn’t have one ounce of it. That’s why he led a nation that couldn’t be led supposedly and has integrated people that couldn’t be integrated and taking people who have been killed and abused and got them not to use violence. That’s a unique individual but you can’t take somebody else to a place you have not been. Leaders have to go there first and if you really live there, you can take anybody there. If you don’t live there, forget taking somebody there. So either you’re part of the problem or you’re part of the solution.
Asad: How do you do it?
The question I have is – and I’m not positive how because I’m not you. The question would be, could I get myself to a place where I realize that I’m actually killing my own brother and if I make it okay for them to – even though they’re justified, to feel enough justification to induce violence on others because then what I do is I am part of reinforcing the cycle that has destroyed my community in the first place.
Get leverage to change by the truth that is needed but has been ignored (Asad)
Leverage! The choice to change is made
Generating new, through a question (of SI outcome)
Cloe: "So the question becomes having rapidly changed his intellectual belief, “How does he now extinguish his emotional pattern that condones violence?” This will develop into the primary question Asad will need to ask himself later in the day."
I don’t know the answer. I’m not the guy who’s wise about this. You are. But I love that you’re willing to ask the question because if you ask the question, I know you’ll come up with the right answer because you’re seeking.
The power of questions as SI outcome, seeking an answer
the strategic archetype process is solution oriented as it is used to seek answers to a specific question that will lead to specific decisions and behaviors. The strategic archetype process is rooted in physiology as the participants identify parts of their body that are associated with each archetype. The strategy of indirect negotiation harnesses the force of emotion turning it into a strength that will bring about unity.
Indirect negotiation operates on two levels, internally and interpersonally. Internally, the process begins with a second step of clarifying individual questions. The force that would have been directed towards an opponent is thereby directed inwards towards the clarification of one’s own values and emotional states. In other words, the negotiation must begin on the inside before it can be directed outwards. Each man will redefine his problem as a primary question to be answered within his own self during the internal negotiation.
What’s the thing you’re struggling with that you would like to resolve? And if you could resolve it, it creates pain for you or anger for you or frustration for you or it’s overwhelming for you and you want to resolve it.
There’s a real question relating to you behind that question. So what do you got to solve in you? What is it that you need to resolve?
Example: "What do I need to believe, understand or do now to take the situation and use it to make me a better person and somehow serve others that I care about as well?"
“What is it that I’ve been focusing on that makes me believe someone is making me less and what could I do today to no longer ever feel less again?” Because that would resolve it then.
The Gulia/Regina Process shows how to eliminate a negative emotion/thought/belief/value
He really reframes every type of hinder than occured or could occur that pops up, like Regina feeling she wasted her life with children. "Do you need children to have a compelling future?" "What was children just another vehicle for?"
You need more than just an incantation, or a new "identity"-word.
There can be no doubt about how to proceed after this step, leverage is like realizing the importance of "a new criteria", by uncovering overlooked and undeniable M. C-E's.
This is the strategy of how to fulfill that.
Ex, Lise: How many ways did Tony give her to "reclaim her femininity (new criteria sort of)" ?
Or Neil: An incredibly CLEAR 90 day challenge
It's not enough to stay in a good triad in your room, and then coming out to THE SAME old triggers IRL. We are real and practical, no positive feel good BS.
How clearly was Beverlys transformation from hiding, conforming and overeating, to living with Joy, self love, self envy and courage?
CLARITY IS POWER!
A great way would be to MODEL someone.
Changing rules and values are core, but the power is in what these effects would have, in emotion and action. IF you valued this, what would you do?
Lise stroking her breast
Lise: Future pacing in first person how Lise will talk to her son reclaim her femininity. That's an action. Something very specifically that Lise should DO to reclaiming herself.
also"Call your son tonight, talk from the heart, aologize. tell him what's great. "I want you to tell him..."
"I want him to take you shopping, and I want you to be a giddy little girl."
It's like the answer to the questions "How do I practice and actually utilize these beautiful concepts that SI stand for?"
Recalling the triad, "Have you ever felt like that, a little girl excited?". Very supporting to have that emotion in her body.
"If you cried with him that would be really beautiful, you will."
"When was the last time you sucked on a cherry?"
Anticipate what will happen with her son IF she does this.
Supporting the belief that she can change it ALL, this pain does no longer have to be a part of her or anyone in her families life
"By loving, crying, apologizing."
"Forgiving yourself and your sister."
"What will you tell her?"
They stand there, practicing Lise loving her sister.
And that's when they go into a the triad of stroking her breast, into a feminine state, feeling floating.
"Think about your sister right now" -"she's hurting"
"You can feel everything, and you know them"
"What does she need?" -"My love and acceptance"
So it's not just entering a state and from there everything is solved. Human emotion is the most powerful fuel, and we ALL have access to every variation of emotion there is. So what we must do is to HARNESS these resources, and apply them. We can't have jet fuel and have no rocket or destination. We need to show and guide them, how to use this fuel, how to utilize it. What actions, what behavior will be fueled by this.
Lise used her courage (a resource emotion) against her father, and that only made her harder and more masculine.
So what Tony does is looking at the entire context, in this beyond the individual, and evaluating based on his knowledge what is needed.
"I want you to feel all the love that SHE has for you...etc, (amplifying that experience)"
And then Global Belief - "And she is really a girl isn't she?" Seeing her sister from a new perspective.
I don't see how changing values and rules would accomplish the same thing for Lise that this intervention does, unless she found resistance when applying these new values and rules on her sister.
"Are you certain you love and respect her?"
"What will you share with her then?"
"How will she respond?"
NOW a "new name" has its place.
"What would your sister call you when you were still being a little girl and still being feminine?"
"Time to take back the show" - Instructing Lise how to use her femininity in the context to her sister.
"Time to put lots of chocolate in the vanilla"
The ice-cream metaphor also guides Lise how to use her feminity to influence herself, and her family.
"How will you make her feel when you go home?"
M. C-Es are now a lot, and it very clear in Lises body on what she needs to do, in order to influence and "achieve" these effects. "All she has to do is to put some marshmallows..."
"Robbins now through a visualization of the future, focuses Lise on the present and her current stage in life. He projects her into the future of all the good, and the happiness that will result from her transformation. Also confirming her ability to revice her past decisions, reclaim her identity, and extend to others in new ways."
(dave elman/Milton style guidance).
The voice you'll hear most is your sisters
"So it's not just entering a new state and from there everything is solved. Human emotion is the most powerful fuel, and we ALL have access to every variation of emotion there is. So what we must do is to HARNESS these resources, and apply them. We can't have jet fuel and have no rocket or destination. We need to show and guide them, how to use this fuel, how to utilize it. What actions, what behavior will be fueled by this. "
Lise used her courage (a resource emotion) against her father, and that only made her harder and more masculine.
We are monkeys, 10,000 times without reward is wired
But with a dozen times with pleasure is enough. Then the strings arent one at a time like with 10,000, but one connection is 500 strings.
We go home, conditioning is reinforcing and re-wiring, making a new home.
Repetition is the mother of skill until it gets conditioned and it's automatic.
"The way a problem is defined and how it is expressed metaphorically through problem behaviors is essential to its solutions" - Organizing principle of Strategic Intervention
"What makes something stick is stacking" - Tony Robbins @ Business Mastery about questions
A new Role
Like Tyler talks about roles. In the moment, you play your fucking role.
Couldn't a big part of "creating new alternatives" be creating a new role for them in the same context? Like Identity, and you from there to shift their focus and use that role as the base, and from there you align with universal laws/reality, questions, emotions, situational rules and meanings etc. But from that kind of paradigm.
So finding a new role can equal finding much greater levels of fulfilment in the same context. By changing your perception of yourself and your "job" in that context (however big) and changing your perception of the external world in that context (meaning). That could be just realizing new truth about that same external world. Like all relationship internventions are like that, Tony tells the man what his job is, and how his woman really feel and what she needs. Kknowing what she needs and that he can give it to her, will make him feel more fulfilled. Get it?
Lyndsey video "Your job is to be their mom" and Lise video as well.
Changing your beliefs, realziing that you can make her happy you just weren't aware of her needs, certainly will change your strategy. Suddenly it's about choice and not "How can I" but "Will I". And that I think is a great place to get to in any place where you want to progress.
If it against the values, then it's in the "Will I" form.
From Lyndsey Film
Logically she knows it’s not her. Logically I know it’s not me. But, because you are a lover and because you are conscious and because you care, you take a level of responsibility that feels inhuman. That’s what has to stop. Not the love of your children.
One thing to present a new alternative (role, thought etc.) Another to clearly define it and internalize it.
In the Lyndsey video, one of Tonys main goals (if not THE goal) is to make Lyndsey a giving lover.
This sounds very nice, and if you would ask her "could you be a giving lover?", she probably would say "yes".
But the real fight, between internalizing it is the definition of it, the rules of it. What it is and it isn't. And that is what happens through the intervention, same with Beverly. Feeling worthy is nice, but and example of that (downchunked) is to stand up for yourself, so this is something that he practices with her. Same with Lyndsey, she practices and grinds in these new rules.
Same with you, being a giver and bringer of party and fun is really nice in a social context. But more specific is how etc. Where I really lack clarity. All I know there is really somethiing like "I should make them laugh". And that any moment I am not contributing I am doing something wrong.
And he just hammers man. Hammering in the belief of Lyndseys husband was trying to make her happy, he dishes out reference after reference, mindreads his thoughts again and again in different ways until it's in there.
Explains how he feels, like he knows the guy in and out.