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He's a Stud, She's a Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know

by: Jessica Valenti
by

Anna Griffith

on 29 November 2012

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Transcript of He's a Stud, She's a Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know

Obstacle 1 Obstacle 2 Obstacle 3 Start obstacle 7 obstacle 8 Obstacle 5 Obstacle 4 obstacle 6 Obstacle 9 Obstacle 10 Obstacle 11 Obstacle 12 Obstacle 13 (cc) image by rocketboom on Flickr (cc) image by quoimedia on Flickr Obstacle 14 Obstacle 15 )obstacle 16 obstacle 17 obstacle 18 Obstacle 19 Obstacle 20 Obstacle 22 Obstacle 23 Obstacle 24 Obstacle 25 Obstacle 27 Obstacle 28 Obstacle 29 Obstacle 30 Obstacle 31 Obstacle 32 Obstacle 33 Obstacle 34 Obstacle 35 Obstacle 36 Obstacle 37 Obstacle 38 Obstacle 39 Obstacle 40 Obstacle 41 Obstacle 42 Obstacle 43 Obstacle 44 Obstacle 45 Obstacle 46 Obstacle 47 Obstacle 48 Obstacle 49 Obstacle 50 1. He's a stud, she's a slut

“But it makes sense when you think about what the purpose of the word “slut” is: controlling women through shame and humiliation.” 2. He's chill, she's on the pill


“A common anti-feminist argument against child support, for example, is that women constantly trick men into getting them pregnant (sure they do)." 3. He's rough, she's dainty
“boys’ toys” and “girls’ toys”

“But it’s not just the pink-is-for-girls, blue-is-for-boys trend that’s problematic. It’s what these toys are, and what they’re telling our kids from a very early age." 4. He's a hero, she's a damsel

“That we’re virgins, Madonnas, mothers, little girls, perfect angels to be protected”

“assumption that women are inferior” 5.“HE’S METROSEXUAL, SHE’S ANOREXIC”

“Attractiveness standards for men tell them to be big, strong, to take up space. Our beauty standards tell us to shrink, be weak, take up as little space as possible.” 17- He’s successful, She’s a showoff
If a woman earns more than her significant other she is stealing his masculinity but if the women lets the man treat her every time they go out she’s considered a gold-digger. He’s super dad, she’s shitty mom
Women are expected to do above and beyond and if they slip up one time, it’s the end of the world. A mother could spend 23 hours with their children, but if the father spends 1 hour of the day with his kids, he’s super dad! Everything that moms do has just become expected and therefore it goes unappreciated. He’s the boss, she’s a bitch
If you’re a women and you hold a position of power, you’re more than likely always called a bitch, boss lady, which all of this basically means, pushy, loud, or out of line. Men on the other hand are natural boss’. Apparently being powerful and being feminine are not compatible. He’s well paid, She’s screwed
It is proven that men get paid more than women even when doing the same jobs. Women earn 77 cents to every male dollar. We’ve improved since the equal pay act in 1963 when women were earning 60 cents to every male dollar. The gap between white women and men compared to non-white women and men there is a huge gap that is hardly comparable. Men also get more promotions than women. He’s gay, She’s a fantasy
Gay men are gross, but on the other hand gay women are a fantasy, as long as you like to have sex with men and look like a cheerleader. Lesbians aren’t a threat to men’s man-hood because men pretend all gay women are like ones in porn. He’s himself, She’s Mrs. Himself
The woman’s last name always seems to get lost in the wind as if it never existed once they get married. So much paperwork goes along with changing your last name, but most women take their husband’s last name to keep the tradition going. Its almost as if you lose yourself and your own family when you take on a new last name. He’s getting an education; She’s getting in his way
Women are graduating from college in higher numbers than ever, same with graduating with a master’s degree. Women are even bigger in numbers in higher education. Three in every ten boys who go to college gets out four years later with a degree; while four out of ten women do that. In 2005 a little over 57% of bachelor’s degrees were earned by women and a little over 42% by men. People are afraid that is women are doing better than men in school; they’ll surpass men in the working world. He’s independent, She’s pathetic
For safety reasons women shouldn’t leave the house without a man. If women go to a movie, or dinner, or the bar they’re considered pathetic. If a man goes to dinner alone its normal. He’s a celeb, She’s a mess
We laugh when celebrities mess up when we see mug shots or articles where they do something severely wrong. When you see young women celebrities you see societal sexism at work. We love them when they’re young but whenever they want to grow up and move on with their career/life it’s not okay. Obstacle 26 He’s husky, she’s invisible
The women on movies and TV are all small, skinny, and petite, when in real life that is far from reality. Male actors are all different shapes and sizes. Women actress’ who are in double-digit dress sizes always play the “fat” character. He’s a man, She’s a mom
Women are judged whether they have kids or not, not like men who are judged on their accomplishments, profession, and their personality. Women are judged by their appearance and their ability to pop out babies. He’s dating a younger woman, She’s a cougar
It is always expected that men should be the older one in the relationship and it is okay for men to date younger women. The second a woman starts to date a younger man she is automatically listed and labeled as a cougar. He’s drunk, She’s a victim
Men are supposed to get drunk to bond and to have fun. Women are supposed to drink to “loosen up”. When women drink with men they’re pressured to drink more and their night will most likely go further than expected which can result in bad for both sides. He’s stoic, She’s frigid
When men are quiet they’re mysterious. When women are quiet we’re cold or snobs. He’s covered, She’s screwed
In 2005 rapists were getting their Viagra covered by Medicaid, but rape victims across the country couldn’t get emergency contraception. He’s represented, She’s a token
No double standard between men and women is more in the public eye than the gender gap in politics. In the United States right now women only hold 16% of the seats in congress, 24% are women of color. Men and some women just are not okay with women being in power positions. He’s neat, She’s neurotic
Women are suppose to love to clean and have some sort of special ability to clean a room like it’s nobody’s business. Women still do the bulk of domestic labor (cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids). Recent studies proved that married women do more housework than single women living alone. He’s fun, She’s frivolous
Hobby wise men’s interests are valid and women’s are frivolous. Men watching sports are considered manly, and that’s a hobby, same thing with hunting. A woman shopping on the other hand is ridiculous. He walks freely, She gets harassed
Women walk down the streets daily being hit on, whistled at, or shouted about. Men walk the streets freely without being bothered. He’s a porn watcher, She’s the show
Porn is everywhere, and mainstream culture is approving of it. What’s scary about porn is that it’s shaping men’s views on women. Reviews:
Others- Some thought she came off too strong and others felt she did not hit hard enough on the topics.
Own- We thought the book got the point that it was trying to make across. We felt that her coming off too strong was simply her being passionate about the subject. Also, it was definitely funny and kept you turning the page. 37- He’s hot and heady, she’s brainy or boobilicious
• Men can be hot and smart while women only one or the other
• Making young women think they have to be dumb to be pretty 38- He’s an activist, she’s a pain in the ass
•Men who work for change are praised while women who do are hated
o In history books men who achieved change are revered while women are lucky to be acknowledged in more than a paragraph or 2 39- He’s a person, she’s a commodity
•Women are treated as objects on a daily basis
o Sexualized ads, commercials music videos
o Need extra money? Be a surrogate 40- He’s a public figure, shes a virgin/whore

•Female celebs are exploited more than males
•Men get away with a lot more in the spotlight than women
•Impossible standard in society of being a “virginal whore” 41- He’s got GI Joe, She’s Got Barbie
•Stereotypes of children shows, and toys regular tv and movies 42- He’s paying less, She’s paying more
•Women make less money doing the same occupation as males
o Haircuts, dry cleaning, cars, etc.
•Women have better credit scores than men yet pay more for mortgages 43- He’s pussy whipped, she’s a “good girlfriend”
•Guys who do nice things for their significant other are deemed pussy whipped while the behavior is expected of women
•Girls are taught early in life that is to get a man and be in a relationship 44- He’s protected, She’s Property
•Rape- guys who commit it are sometimes saved because of circumstances such as consent at first, what the women was wearing at the time etc.
•Women have been screwed by the judicial system for years
•Pay- women are known to make less than men but if they don’t bring it up too bad for them 45- He’s fondling, she’s feeding
•Boobs are there for the feeding of babies
•Guys feel like boobs belong to them.
•Breastfeeding in front of some men is “gross” but when you don’t you aren’t a good mother 46-He’s childless, she’s selfish
•Single moms are mostly looked down upon while single dads are praised because they “did the impossible” picking up a women’s role along with their own 47- He’s funny, She’s annoying
•Guys can be funny while women can’t
•Women comedians are looked at as annoying wenches 48- He’s dating, She’s taken
•Engagement ring- shows that you are taken by someone, yet that someone doesn’t have an identifier to tell other women they are taken
•Prefixes- Miss, Ms. Mrs. Once married women change from a miss to a Ms. or Mrs. while men keep their Mr. prefix
•Taking his last name- women take the last name of the male while he gets to stay the same, this also shows the women is taken 49- He’s Rugged, She’s Rude
•If a women isn’t “ladylike” she is considered rude while men can get away with it because of testosterone and manliness 50- He’s Plain, She’s Vain
•Women have to be clean, primped, tanned, etc. while men can be rugged and nothing is said
•If women don’t take the steps to look beautiful society sees them as lazy or slobs. Chapter 6
“HE’S “LUCKY,” SHE’S LOLITA”
“This teen-sex double standard is based on the antiquated—and false—notion that women don’t like sex. Or at least we shouldn’t.” Chapter 7
“HE’S A BACHELOR, SHE’S A SPINSTER”
“In 1972 . . . Jesse Bernard wrote a highly influential book called The Future of Marriage in which she argued that wedding bells sounded the death knell to a woman’s well-being. Ms. Bernard presented data indicating that while married men scored higher than single men on measures of mental health like depression, severe neurotic symptoms, and phobic tendencies, the opposite applied for women.” Chapter 8
“HE CAN BE A BEAST, SHE MUST BE A BEAUTY” Chapter 9
“HE’S A HIPSTER, SHE’S A HO”
beauty standards
“the maintenance double standards”
“An Amnesty International study found that 26 percent of people think that if a woman wears sexy clothes, she’s partly to blame if she gets raped—and women’s outfits are still brought up as relevant in rape cases” Chapter 10
“HE’S GONNA BE A SUCCESS, SHE’S GONNA BE A STAY-AT-HOME MOM”
Hook-up culture is destroying young women.
Divorced women are more likely to be mentally ill. Chapter 11
“HE’S A POLITICIAN, SHE’S A FASHION PLATE”
“That’s Sexism 101, friends” Chapter 12
“HE’S A ROMEO, SHE’S A STALKER”
“This kind of strong-women-are-stalkers attitude is also pretty standard in hetero dating rituals. If you call more than a couple of times, you’re stalking a guy. If he calls, he’s just persistent.” Chapter 13
He's Tough, She's a Tomboy
“In fact, society is so unabashed in its hatred of all things feminine that one of the easiest ways to punish men is simply to feminize them.”
Chapter 14
“HE’S ANGRY, SHE’S PMSING”
“When men get angry, they’re taken seriously. It’s assumed that they have a reason to be so upset. But it seems that whenever women have the gall to express anything other than effusive chipperness, we’re accused of having PMS or being nuts” He's Distinguished She's Driving Miss Daisy
Men get better looking as they get older and women get worse looking. He's Manly, She's Sasquatch
Men do not have to shave and it makes them look tough. However, women have to shave or they are nasty. Related To Class
*Stereotyping
*Gender norms
*Motherhood norm
*Beauty Ideal
*Cultural Scripts
*Sexual Scripts
*Gender
*Media
*Beauty-ism
*Misogyny
*Objectification Jessica Valenti (born November 1, 1978) is an American blogger and feminist writer, known for having founded the feminist blog Feministing in 2004. She is the author or co-author of four books on women's issues, including Full Frontal Feminism (2007), He's a Stud, She's a Slut (2008), and The Purity Myth (2009).
Valenti was raised in Long Island City, Queens in an Italian-American family. Her father was a Buddhist, and her mother introduced her to her first pro-choice march when she was 13. She received her master's degree in Women's and Gender Studies from Rutgers University. On October 3, 2009, she married Andrew Golis, the deputy publisher of Talking Points Memo. *Anna Griffith
*Christina Beck
*Stacy Cadman
*Sean McLaughlin



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