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Courtship and Marriage in Afghanistan
Transcript of Courtship and Marriage in Afghanistan
Wedding Customs and Traditions
Qur'an states: weddings should be conducted in financial means of family
for most this does not ring true
planning can take years
usually a three day occurrence
Shao-e-Henna; Henna Party day before wedding
in the ceremony men and women are completely separate
Arranged Marriage: Child Bride
Segregation between Men and Women
How would you feel, if you were going to be in an arranged marriage? Would you accept this forced marriage, or deny him/her?
Explain the irony of this statement.
up to 80% of marriages in poor rural areas are either forced or arranged
constitution: must be 16 yr.s and agree
many do not take legal action because they do not have papers to prove citizenship
mostly occurs in poor, uneducated families
when engaged, there is no divorce
many couples do not meet until the day of wedding
more than 50% of Afghan girls are married or engaged by 10
many girls marry far older men
lack of security; risk of kidnap and rape
widespread poverty still compels; avoid the cost of caring for them
Henna Night: Takht e Khina
Prohibited in Afghanistan
due to security reasons for the family
before marriage it is unusual for a boy to court the girl, as in 'dating'
Afghan women are not allowed to marry non muslim men
Afghan men marry whomever they choose
father does a background check on the potential bride's family
relatives of the groom offer his fiance sweet gifts
fiances can exchange gifts through a 3rd person
negotiate dowry for the brides family
dowry varies on family expectancy, brides ethnicity, or grooms class
after acceptance a party is thrown for celebration of agreement; Sher- E Ne Khore Party
many Afghan women become widows by age 35
unlikely to find a new husband
widows viewed as bad omen in Afghan society
difficult to cope emotionally and financially
forced to beg or engage in prostitution
94% are illiterate
faced with rape, poverty, and social condemnation
occurs day before wedding
bride has fun; she can close her right palm, and refuse to decorate
if not given a gift by grooms mother
groom promises her gifts
or groom opens her hand with force
7 female relatives begin to decorate the brides hands and feet
present female relatives also decorate henna on themselves
Unmarried girls put henna on their pinkie fingers
many marriages are arranged
child brides most often are poor, and illiterate
weddings are very fancy whether or not it is able to be funded
there are superstitions in Afghanistan society about widows
most widows would rather die than be titled as a widow
An Islamic marriage ceremony
the bride wears green clothing
During ceremony, bride and groom exchange vows
the priest will read sections from the Qur'an
It's a closed ceremony for friends and family
a party is later held with food, drinks, and dancing!