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My Virtual Child

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by

Shark P

on 10 March 2013

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Transcript of My Virtual Child

My sweet Sofia Birth The terrible twos 5th birthday party! 13 years old 12 month old At twelve months old, you are now clearly understands a couple of dozen words. In fact, you just recently pronounced her first clear word and pointed at the object in question.... you seem to be as comfortable with Melody as an attachment figure as your father and I. I am very pleased to have a built-in babysitter. Plus Melody is willing to do light housework for the opportunity to live with you while she goes to school. My due date is approaching, I can not wait for you to arrive in this world. Your father and I love you so much already. We have been preparing for this moment since the day we found out we were pregnant. I believe that God has placed you into our lives for a purpose. You're so special my dear sweet Sofia.

It wasn't a bad pregnancy at all. You could say that I am one of "the lucky ones". During my pregnancy, I didn't crave unusual things though I did eat a lot of cake. I also didn't start showing till I was about six months! So all my friends and family at first didn't believe I was pregnant.

You are a blessing from God. I would like to ask you to hurry for I am very tired wobbly and ready to meet you soon. Instead I will wait for your patiently for you, enjoying you on the inside. Come as you are and come when your ready. No matter what happens always remember that I will always be here for you. I will always love you no matter what.

With all my love,
Mama xoxo My Virtual Child You were feeling very nervous about going to high school and how it may or may not change the relationships you have with your friends. By: Airiane Polis You spend most of your time falling asleep, sleeping or slowly waking up. When you do wake up, i try and take advantage of the waking time by talking quietly to you and holding you.

I have decided to use cloth diapers on the weekends and disposables during the week when your father is at work. The reason I chose this was because I want to be environmentally friendly as much as I could.

I have deiced to breast feed you but we will supplement with formula. Due to not always having enough breast milk for you 3 months old Grandma has been coming over a lot to help me take care of you. Being a new parent isn't an easy transition. She has been wonderful with helping out on the weekends or in the evenings for a couple of hours. This also gave your father and I a chance to go out once in a while. But of course we always end up worrying if your okay. By this time you are able to focus your eyes on me. You spend a lot of time studying my face and the faces of anyone who comes near you. You are showing more intense interest in your surroundings. You like to smile at familiar people and toys, laugh at surprising or funny things and are developing lots of cute little habits. You make lots of interesting noises so I often encourage you to make them. It feels like you're talking to me in your own way. <---- Date night 8 months old You would usually cry after leaving you from day care but you usually got over it right after. You are able to find a hidden object, as long as I don't wait too long or distract you in the middle of the search. You really likes this hiding game and shows by your interest that you want it repeated. However, if you hide the object in the same place repeatedly, and then change the hiding place, You have a strong tendency to look in the old hiding place, and then get confused about where the object is, or forget about it. As you turns 9 months, the pediatrician has the following to say after a routine physical exam, a few items administered from the Bayley Scales of Infant Intelligence, and some observations of you in the playroom:

Based on your report, you is physically healthy. The doctor recommends a greater variety of baby food and ground up fruits and vegetables.

You are cautious and shy in most new situations or with new people with you present, You will eventually explore, but rarely warms up completely to the strange situation or person.

You have a strong emotional reactions and has difficulty soothing herself back down. The doctor advises patience in dealing with your emotions.
You iare advanced in her gross and fine motor skills and enjoys crawling, pulling up to stand and manipulating objects. Mama and Aunty Melody 9 months old YOU WALKED FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! I try the object permanence test again. This time, you are able to find the object even after long delays and seems to think this is a great game! I set up two hiding places for the object and hide it under one of the two covers repeatedly. When I switch it to the second hiding place, you no longer has the problem as I saw earlier of searching at the more common of the two hiding places. I can't even trick you by hiding it in your hand. You like this game a lot and want to play it over and over again. 1st Birthday! 15 months old I have now notice that you often study things in your environment and perform simple little "experiments" with them, almost like a little scientist. For example, you push your bath toys under water at various depths and delightedly watches how high they pop back above the surface. 18 months old I have to keep an eye on you more closely now because you will quickly toddle off into the crowd at public places or even into the street. Melody is staying with us while she works to save money for college. She is sleeping in a bed that you have set up in Sofia's room, and the two are becoming fast friends. She is willing to babysit for you, so both your father and I have felt less stressed. You acts shy when looking in the mirror, use the word "me" a lot, and wants to do things yourself. I think this new behavior is a sign of self awareness, and I have to decide what the balance will be between allowing you to be independent and teaching you to follow my rules. You love to dance and sing to songs Your favorite place to go is the park Your favorite word was... You are a chatterbox now. Really cute words you use to say were "Mama up" and "Doggie outside."

You also didn't show much interest in the age-appropriate blocks, toys, and building sets that you have, and gets frustrated when you does occasionally try to play with them. Potty training 19 months old The preschool that you are considering for Sofia offers low-priced developmental assessments. Sofia is able to enroll when she becomes reasonably well potty-trained. She is 19 months old now. Just to find out how sofia's development compares to other children of her age at this point, you have an assessment done. The early childhood specialist observes sofia in free play with other kids and does a little testing of cognitive skills. She reports the following:

sofia was not very aggressive with the other kids, unless one of them tried to grab a toy from her and then she resisted. The examiner recommended that sofia continue to go to toddler play groups/daycare to develop her skill in interacting with other children. At home, her general advice for the toddler negativism that was bound to happen at this age was to use clear and simple explanations for rules, warnings and time outs for misbehavior, and encouragements to "use your words" if sofia wanted something.

The specialist said it was clear that sofia had a strong and secure attachment to you and was beginning to develop such an attachment to your partner. She recommended "keep doing whatever you are doing" and don't be afraid for your partner to be involved more in day to day care, feeding, etc.

sofia was shy with the examiner, who thought she was nervous around new adults or just didn't know what to do. She recommended that sofia stay with one primary preschool or daycare provider during the day and get to know other new adults slowly.

sofia was generally in a positive mood during the play sessions, but occasionally could be irritable or impatient when things did not go her way.

sofia scored at about the 18-19 month range for communication skill, language comprehension and language production. This is age-appropriate of course, but the examiner recommended that because sofia was in such an important period of language development, that you spend as much time as possible talking with sofia, asking questions that require some kind of extended answer (rather than just "yes" or "no"), and looking at and naming things in picture books, etc.

sofia was below age-norms on tasks such as building a block tower to model one made by the examiner and other spatial skills such as copying shapes, coloring within the lines and solving picture puzzles. The examiner said that if sofia was interested, you could work on these kinds of activities more, but not to push them. In that case, just making the materials available as an option would be a good idea.
sofia was advanced in her gross motor skills. The examiner recommended that you expose sofia to a variety of indoor and outdoor activities and let her interests be the guide as to what to pursue.
The examiner commented that sofia was able to concentrate very well during all of the informal testing, and if this continues, she would be more than ready for preschool-type activities, which typically require children to stay on task or remain in "group time" for 10-15 minutes. She also recommended getting sofia to follow simple directions at home, gradually increasing the complexity and length of the directions. I have now notice that you have some new emotions over the past few months. Some things I've noticed are shy smiles when asked to be in photographs, looking guilty when you breaks something, and embarrassment when you have a potty accident. I realize these new emotions are related to your developing self awareness. Sofia is going to be starting in a new preschool program soon, so you take advantage of the fact that a friend of yours is an early childhood development specialist. You ask her to evaluate Sofia, who is 2 1/2 years old. The specialist evaluates Sofia's language, motor and cognitive skills using some developmental scales, and observes Sofia interacting with other children in a toddler play group. This is her report:

Sofia was somewhat hesitant in the group of children and spent a few minutes watching them before joining in. After a while she latched on to a couple of the other children and had a good time. By the end of the session they were smiling and imitating each other.

Sofia was generally not very aggressive, but at one point became somewhat aggressive over a favorite toy, and had to be reminded by the group leader to share. The specialist advised you to seek out more group experiences for Sofia. Sofia tackled challenging tasks readily and with a positive attitude. The examiner commented that she was unusually persistent in the face of failure for her age.

Sofia's scores on measures of language comprehension and production were in the average range, and she was beginning to show more consistent use in conversational speech of grammatical markers such as past tense, plural, etc. The specialist recommended you continue to converse about anything of interest to Sofia, read favorite books to her and go on outings.
Sofia is about average in solving problems with more than two steps, and grouping objects together in categories. The specialist recommended that you help sofia "talk through" the steps in solving problems, and that you expose Sofia to more hands-on learning activities (e.g., at the children's science museum).

She is below average in copying shapes with a pencil, working with picture puzzles and constructing things out of blocks. The specialist recommended enjoyable and stimulating activities, such as working on coloring books and simple jigsaw puzzles together. Sofia was above average on nearly all gross motor skills, such as climbing, throwing and catching a ball, balancing, and skipping and enjoyed these activities quite a bit. The advice was to continue these activities, emphasizing Sofia's interests and focusing on having fun with them. Sofia was able to focus on the tasks given by the examiner for the entire 40-minute session. The examiner said this was unusually good for the age. She recommended that you ask Sofia to carry out more and more complex daily tasks (such as getting dressed) and read longer stories in preparation for preschool. 3 years old I am pregnant again! You're a big sister now! She was born last night at 11:30 P.M. you are now a little over three years old now, and has been eagerly awaiting the baby's birth. You hold and rock the baby, and even feeds her with a bottle of pre-pumped breast milk or formula. You are fascinated with the baby and tell everyone about her. I notice as the weeks go by that you like to imitate Mya's sounds and movements, and enjoys play-acting a baby role. You sometimes seem to be regressing and becoming more demanding and whiny, and less cooperative, but other times prides yourself on being a competent older sibling. We finally moved into our dream home! Sofia has been in preschool for a while and you are curious about her progress. So you hire your friend the early development specialist to do a formal assessment and observation at the preschool during the summer.

Based on the testing situation and the observations at the preschool, your friend thought that Sofia was outgoing and not at all hesitant to get involved in activities at preschool. However, she noted that Sofia was having some difficulties complying with instructions and sticking by the rules of the preschool. When tasks became challenging she tended to get frustrated and upset, and gave up early. She seemed to need a lot of guidance from the teacher to stay on task. Sofia had a couple of little friends in the preschool, but she observed Sofia get into several arguments with her friends, and actually shove another child (not one of her friends) in order to get a toy. She recommended that you try to be extra affectionate with Sofia and provide a lot of praise at home for positive behavior. At the same time, you should communicate the rules clearly and use a set of graded consequences (e.g., first a warning, then a time out, then removal of privileges) if Sofia does not follow the rules.

She scored about average in language comprehension and production. For example, when asked to tell a story about a funny picture, she was able to give the broad outlines as well as a few interesting details. Your friend recommended having more conversations with Sofia about anything of interest, reading aloud, watching educational television together and going to places of interest to her. Sofia was in the average range in terms of understanding quantitative relationships (e.g., "more/less", "longer/shorter"), in counting skills, in classifying objects (e.g., types of animals) and in solving age-appropriate reasoning tasks. Your friend recommended that you work on these skills indirectly (e.g., encourage counting as a part of games or other activities Sofia enjoys), rather than trying to teach them directly.

She performed below average in copying designs, solving picture puzzles, and building block towers to match one made by the examiner. This doesn't seem to be one of Sofia's strong points, but your friend encouraged you to promote any of these activities that Sofia enjoys. Sofia's gross motor skills are above average, for example, climbing, riding on tries, kicking balls and playing catch. Your friend encourages you to follow Sofia's interests in these physical areas. Sofia was a bit impulsive in her play with other children. On the tests, she sometimes blurted out answers or irrelevant remarks, and became distracted or lost concentration occasionally. Your friend was able to get her back on task with reminders. Your friend comments that this is not all that unusual for three year olds, but if these behaviors show up consistently at home and at preschool/daycare, you might want to have a psychologist observe and evaluate Sofia for ADHD.

You filled out a parenting questionnaire. The developmental specialist reported that your scores indicate you are about average in warmth and affection displayed toward Sofia.
The parenting questionnaire scores indicate you are currently more disciplined than average with Sofia. 4 years old You have started to beg you for a puppy or a kitty. Even though your father and I are allergic to cats. but your aren't ready for one yet, So for now I take you to the petting zoo or to play with pets at the homes of your relatives and friends. Sofia will turn 5 this summer and will be a bit on the young side in the fall when she starts kindergarten. The school where Sofia will attend kindergarten has started a kindergarten prep session over the summer that lasts for a couple of weeks and involves group as well as individual work on letters, numbers, etc. You enroll Sofia at the age of 4 years, 10 months. She is assessed by one of the kindergarten teachers, who observes her during free play and tests Sofia one-on-one. Then the teacher sits down with you and your partner and gives the following report:
The teacher noted that Sofia seemed to have made one or two friends and usually played cooperatively with them. She observed that Sofia was sometimes reluctant to join in new activities with unfamiliar children. She could read a few short words and write her name and could name most of the letters on sight at the time of testing. She also showed an age-appropriate understanding of phonological awareness (e.g., deciding whether two words started with the same sound, picking out the two words that rhymed from a list of three words). The teacher recommended continuing to enjoy reading and writing activities - Sofia was well-prepared for literacy activities in kindergarten.
The teacher noted that Sofia had some difficulty adapting to the "practice" kindergarten activities the children were asked to do. Sofia was generally trying to do a good job, but sometimes became uncooperative or rebellious with the teachers, sometimes got distracted and went off task, and sometimes became upset when mild stress occurred (such as an instruction to hurry up). The teacher recommended that Sofia get more experience with structured activities at home and at preschool and that she be given reminders and praise for good behavior. She performed in the average range on tests of vocabulary e.g., naming a picture and providing an antonym or synonym for a word), and the ability to retell a story. The teacher thought you should engage in more reading aloud, and encourage Sofia to tell stories, perhaps so that you could write them down and read them back to her.
Sofia has age-appropriate skills in counting, classifying and understanding quantitative relationships. Nothing special needs to be done in this area, as the kindergarten class picks up and teaches these skills very effectively, says the teacher. Sofia was not very interested in the little art projects the teachers had the students do, and got frustrated in some of the pre-math activities involving working with blocks and geometric shapes.
The teacher reports that your scores on the parenting questionnaire put you slightly above average in terms of affection and warmth displayed toward your child. The parenting questionnaire scores put you in the top 15% in terms of control and discipline exercised with your child. 6 years old You started to play soccer and softball. Some highlights of the first grade report card were the following ratings:
Usually works cooperatively in groups, usually respects rights and property of others, and usually demonstrates appropriate peer social interaction."Demonstrates strength" in reading and writing.
In the comments section the teacher wrote: Sometimes Sofia over-reacts to stressful situations and can become quite upset with herself or others and needs help calming down."Developmentally appropriate" in the areas of speaking and listening and in content knowledge of social studies and science. "Demonstrates strength" in the areas of mathematical problem solving, understanding of data and number concepts."Developmentally appropriate" in the areas of spatial understanding and visual arts.
The teacher said that Sofia was more active, distractible and impulsive than the other children. Sometimes she did not listen to instructions and sometimes she disrupted the other children at their work. The teacher recommended reinforcing positive on-task behavior at home, and discouraging off-task distractionble behavior. Consistently works independently, consistently listens attentively and follows directions, and consistently follows classroom rules. 8 years old Psychologist's report at age 8;11:
Her scores were in the average to above average range in word reading, reading fluency, phonological awareness and spelling. She was nervous when she first met the examiner and became upset with herself for not solving the harder problems on the IQ test. She got noticeably upset and needed to take a break twice during the two and a half hour testing. These were some of Sofia's scores on the Verbal portion of the Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children (where 7 is one standard deviation below the mean, 10 is the mean and 13 is one standard deviation above the mean): Information (11), Vocabulary (12), Similarities (11), Comprehension (13).
Sofia's scores on the math concepts, math application problems, and math computation tests were in the average to slightly above average range. Sofia's scores on tests of visual-spatial ability (spatial rotation, copying of designs, etc.) were in the average range.
The psychologist gave you and the teacher a questionnaire on behavioral and attention problems, and reported that Sofia scored close to the clinical range for hyperactivity and conduct disorder and showed clear problems in the areas of impulsivity and inattentiveness. She had some difficulty following directions and staying on task during the IQ and achievement tests and sometimes interrupted the tester to talk about various thoughts prompted by the test items. The tester noted on his written report that the testing was done while Sofia was not on medication for ADHD.
The psychologist interviews you using a standard set of questions about parenting attitudes. According to your scores, you are in the top 15% in warmth and affection toward your child. Your scores on the parenting questionnaire indicates you are in the top 15% in discipline and control toward your child. 10 years old You saved enough money from doing chores in the house and finally was able to get the bike you wanted! Some highlights of the 5th grade report card (the one that is being sent on to middle school with sofia's portfolio of writing samples, and standardized test scores) were as follows:
Usually works cooperatively in groups, usually respects rights and property of others, and usually demonstrates appropriate peer social interaction."Demonstrates strength" in all areas of reading, and in spelling and "appropriate for grade level" in writing.
In the comments section the teacher wrote: Sometimes sofia can become quite upset with herself or others, particularly in stressful situations, and needs help calming down."Appropriate for grade level" in the areas of speaking and listening and in content knowledge of social studies and science."Appropriate for grade level" in the areas of mathematical problem solving, understanding of data, number concepts, graphical applications, and arithmetic computation."Appropriate for grade level" in the area of art. "Demonstrates strength" in the area of music.
The teacher added a comment: sometimes speaks out of turn, disrupts class or distracts other pupils. Consistently works independently, listens attentively, and follows directions and classroom rules. 12 years old You got Sofia's 7th grade report card early in the summer. Some highlights of the report card:
Sofia consistently contributes to cooperative group activities and respects the rights and possessions of others, and shows age-appropriate social interaction with peers. Her word reading, spelling and writing skills are strong. She got B's in 7th grade English, Social Studies and Spanish. The teacher thought she could do better with more studying.
She got an A in 8th grade math (she had been placed a grade above in math) and an A in 7th grade science. As a result, she will be able to take honors math in 8th grade, which is basically the first year of high school math. Sofia was in 7th grade chorus and in the band, and got an A grade and a note of appreciation for her fine efforts from both the chorus teacher and the band director. She has frequent problems speaking out of turn in class, interrupting other students' work, and sticking to classroom and school rules.
She usually has good time management, and is consistent about working independently in the classroom and on homework. She has only occasional problems completing assignments and turning them in on time. Sofia has a couple of friends over to spend the night and they get the bright idea of toilet papering a "friend's" house. You are persuaded by the girls to buy bulk toilet paper for them. You stay up to monitor their activities, and note that they go out between midnight and 1 AM, "decorate" a house down the street, and return in a breathless rush to your house. You tell them not to leave the house again, get them settled down with a video and popcorn and go to sleep. The next day a neighbor shows up at your house to return Sofia's sweatshirt, which has her name on it! It turns out he is the father of a girl Sofia had a fight with last year and hasn't spoken to since. Apparently the girls made another little foray after you went to sleep. The man isn't angry and actually jokes around about leaving evidence at the scene of the crime. You offer Sofia's help in cleaning up, but he declines. 14 years old You tried out for the high school softball team and made it! Finally got your ears pierced! CAMPING! 15 years old You didn't have a chance to go to a teacher conference at the end of 9th grade, but you have spoken with nearly all of Sofia's teachers or e-mailed with them at least once this past semester. You received the report card in the mail in early July.
Sofia received good citizenship scores from all teachers for following class rules and cooperating with other students. A couple of teachers commented that Sofia was very quiet in class and needed to participate more. She got B's in Spanish, English and World Geography. She received A's in both Algebra I and Biology and was rated as "a pleasure to have in class" for both subjects. Because of these grades, Sofia is eligible for Honors Geometry and Chemistry in 10th grade. She received B's in her Fine Arts classes this year.
She received an A in her chorus class and a commendation from the band director for her participation in the school orchestra. 16 years old We adopted a puppy! Congratulations! First Boyfriend <3 First car dent First job Here are some highlights from Sofia's 11th grade report card.
Sofia's citizenship grades from all teachers were satisfactory. Only one teacher added a comment indicating "a pleasure to have in class", probably because Sofia is typically dutiful and follows classroom rules, but doesn't contribute much to class discussions. There were no problems with peers noted in school.
She got a B in Spanish II and B's in both English and American History. The English teacher thought Sofia could do better with more effort. She received A's in both Algebra II and Physics. Because of these grades, Sofia is eligible for AP Physics and Chemistry in 12th grade. She received B's in her Fine Arts classes this year. She received an A in her instrumental music class, and a rating of "pleasure to have in class." 17 years old High school is now over. PASSED YOUR SAT! 18 years old As sofia heads into her next set of adventures, you reflect on your relationship with her at this point in both of your lives. You've managed to be an excellent parent in terms of both discipline and warmth. sofia is very close to both parents now, but of the two, she is closer to you. She seeks out your advice on important issues or questions that are a bit beyond her experience.
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