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Understanding Feelings

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by

Megan Carpenter

on 17 April 2013

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Transcript of Understanding Feelings

Understanding Feelings Feelings Good and Bad
Feelings Categorizing feelings categorizes people as good or bad Instead of referring to feelings as good and bad we can group them into feelings of comfort and feelings of discomfort. How To Manage Feelings Awareness Acceptance Communication Respect... yourself others the environment Children feel the same emotions we do:
fear, anger, sadness, frustration, anxiety, etc. Difference:
They don’t understand their feelings or how to handle them. This will affect the quality of your children's life more than any other element of parenting. The worst thing we can do as parents is to not prepare children for the tasks and challenges of life. How to help children understand and cope with feelings: 1. Accept children’s emotions and responses 2. Help them label their emotions 3. Encourage them to talk about their emotions 4. Help them be aware of when tension is building and what creates stress for them 5. Teach them how to calm themselves down 6. Teach them alternative ways of expressing their frustrations 7. Teach them problem solving 8. Teach them positive self talk 9. Teach children to listen and talk in ways that enables them to resolve conflicts and negotiate win-win solutions. 10. Comment when they show self-control 11. Talk about your own feelings 12. Demonstrate the right way to control your own anger. Help children handle their feelings, and the world is theirs. To understand your own feelings, you need to be able to understand others. Help your children point out how others are feeling, discuss it and the best way it can be handled. A child understanding their feelings can help them in many ways -Help them to learn how to handle their own feelings
-They develop a sense of self competence
-They can learn how to help others cope with their feelings
-Having self competence can make the child easier to handle
and be around
- Is part of what helps people grow up to be healthy adults. Feelings of Comfort
VS.
Feelings of Discomfort … feelings that influence
the person in a positive way. Love
Happiness
Peace
Contentment
Satisfaction
Joy … feelings that create an
unsettled feeling inside. Hate
Envy
Anger
Jealousy
Frustration
Sadness The goal is to manage the
feelings so the feelings do not
take over your life
rather than denying the feelings of discomfort. Frustrated Excited Scared Jealousy Anger Tired Surprised Bored Sad Death of a loved one,
the breakup of a meaningful relationship,
a bad investment of money,
or some painful experience in childhood. Some of the causes of children and parents hiding their feelings are: Forget the experience
- Or -
Hold the painful feelings inside Most people will either try to- Most adults never learned how to deal with past pain or feelings of discomfort when they were young. Hiding your Feelings Past pain Strategies for letting go of past pain: Step 1: Don’t try to cure what is normal. Step 2: There is a statement that goes something like, “If you get (enter mad, hurt, insulted, offended, etc., here) it's your fault.” That's just not true. Step 3: Don’t pretend you don’t feel the pain. Step 4: Identify all of your feelings Step 5: Endure Step 6: Talk to someone Step 7: Don’t let anyone tell you your feelings aren’t real Step 8: Get your mind off yourself and how bad you feel Step 9: Allow time to heal Step 10: Don’t let your pain define you Step 11: Write a Letter Step 12: Stay away from statements that blame you or others Step 13: Develop a learning orientation Step 14: Make a thankfulness list Step 15: If the pain is lasting more than a week or so, or you've lost hope or you're thinking of suicide, you're either suppressing your pain or you have deeper unresolved issues that you need to complete Emotional competence is the ability for parents and children to be able to recognize and express their feelings in appropriate ways. What are ways
to build
emotional
competence? Make children aware that all feelings are okay and that they are important in communicating It is how these feelings are expressed that can be acceptable or not. Point out feelings you see, this will give the child a sense of belief and respect. Understand
and
appreciate their desires. Praise the child when they are expressing their feelings appropriately. This will reinforce the behavior. Take interest when the child is talking and let them do the talking, you do not want to dominate the conversation. Listen and comfort the child. All feelings have energy, come up with a list together that could release some energy physically. Rational Behind Feelings Children need to make the connection between
their
feelings
and why
they are occurring. Ask “Why?” For example, “Why are you feeling so sad?” Another way to reach this understanding is by using
I-messages. I-messages are a
“verbal expression
of an individual’s
emotional response
to a specific
situation” I-message When past experiences in our lives have been very painful, there is a tendency for many of us to avoid dealing with the pain. An unpleasant experience we have had that we are unwilling or unable to deal with acts like a giant spring, or a popper in our case. The main goal is to manage your feelings so they do not take over your life. When we can understand our own feelings and the feelings of others we can then help our children learn to cope and recognize the feelings that they don’t understand. Thank you for Listening! By Megan Carpenter, Rachel Metzger, Amy Naylor and Kaylee Wheeler
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