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The process of negotiating step by step

Carole Ansay

on 15 September 2015

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Transcript of Negotiation

What is Negotiation?

getAbstractcompressed knowledge : Successful Negotiating - Letting the Other Person Have Your Way by Ginny Pearson Barnes, Ed.D.Career Press © 1998, 123 pages
LAWS Anne. Negotiations. Business Skills Series, Summertown Publishing, 2008.
Negotiations should not be wars of attrition
or clashes of egos. Instead, they should be mutually beneficial dialogues that involve an
open exchange of ideas, mutual respect and a celebration of differences.
Sound a little simplistic?
Perhaps. But you should pay special attention to determining which side of a negotiation holds the power, using body language to your advantage and crafting fall-back positions.

source: GetAbstract
Consequences of No Agreement
The process of discussing something with someone in order to reach an agreement with them, or the discussions themselves.
(Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary & Thesaurus © Cambridge University Press)
1. Prepare
Active listening
NVC ...

Reach an agreement
Discuss and propose
Build rapport
© All Illustrations 2008-2012 Jeff Jones
!! Don’t forget to draw up a written sales agreement!!

Gain the negotiators’ trust
& build up networking

WIN-WIN is the ideal outcome of any negotiation, where both sides get what they want .... or at least don’t lose the face!

Before negotiating, take time to understand yourself and the person you will negotiate with
Use negotiation techniques that pull information from the other parties

Neutralize manipulative negotiation tactics

Negotiation is not a talent you are born with. It is a skill that can be learned.

Negotiation techniques & tactics
to negotiate

1. Preparation
2. Small talk & building rapport
3. Starting & outlining your position Exchanging information
4. Bargaining
5. Closing & commitment

The power is in listening

NLP: use and listen for the sensory language that people prefer
and mirror it back to them


Small Talk
1. Pre-conditioning
2. The Monkey On the Back
3. The use of higher authority
4. Nibbling
5. The good guy and the bad guy
6. Body Language
7. The use of silence
8. The vice
9. The power of legitimacy
10. The low key approach
11. Using deadlines as a negotiation tool
12. Exclude competition
13. Extreme initial positions
14. The Salami Technique

Stages of negotiation
5 ways to listen better
Vocabulary | Vocabulary Quiz | Preparation | Negotiation Process | Settlement | Test
As the Athletic Director and head coach of the Varsity Soccer team at Ryerson University, Dr. Joseph is often asked what skills he is searching for as a recruiter: is it speed? Strength? Agility? In Dr. Joseph's TEDx Talk, he explores self confidence and how it is not just the most important skill in athletics, but in our lives.
Body language
Michel Roth video series
Learn the importance of the eyes in body language signals and how to read body language in this free video on body language communication skills.
How to Read Body Language : Examples of Defensive Body Language
How to Read Body Language : Examples of Closed Body Language
How to Read Body Language : Examples of Aggressive Body Language
How to Read Body Language : Examples of Insecure Body Language
How to Read Body Language : Examples of Open Body Language
How to Read Body Language : How to Appear Relaxed with Body Language
How to Read Body Language : How to Tell if Someone is Lying with Body Language
How to Read Body Language : How to Take Control with Body Language
How to Read Body Language : Appearing Relaxed & Confident in Body Language
How to Read Body Language : All About Body Language & Communication
How to Read Body Language : How to Flirt with Body Language
How to Read Body Language : How Boredom Looks in Body Language
How to Read Body Language : How to Show Subtle Control with Body Language
This can begin before you even get together, or start your negotiations with the other party. Let us take a sales example:
You telephone for the appointment and the other side says, aggressively: "Don’t bother coming if you are going to tell me about price increases. You’ll be wasting your time and I will be forced to speak to your competitors".
When you do arrive you are kept waiting in reception for half an hour, without being told why. As you walk through the door into the other person’s office they indicate for you to sit down, but they don’t look up. Instead, they sit leafing through your competitor’s brochure, in silence, ignoring your efforts to make conversation.
You are given an uncomfortable low chair to sit in that happens to be directly in line with the sun shining into the office. At this stage, how confident do you feel?
The Monkey On The Back:
Some negotiators have the irritating habit of handing their problems to you so that they become your problems. This is the "monkey on their back" that they want you to carry around for them.
A classic example is the person who says, "I have only got £10,000 in my budget".
This is often used tactically to force a price reduction. Here is what you can do.
When one side says "I have only £10,000 in budget", look concerned and say something like:
"That is a problem. As you are no doubt aware, the cost of our systems can be anything up to £20,000 and I really want to help you choose the best system that meets your needs. Does that mean that if one of our systems has everything you are looking for, but costs £20,000, you would rather I didn’t show it to you?"
The "monkey" has been returned and they have to make a choice. If the objection is genuine and the budget figure is correct, you must try to look for an alternative that meets your needs as well as theirs.
If they genuinely can only spend £10,000 that is not a tactic but the truth. In dealing with tactics the first decision you must make is whether it is a tactic or a genuine situation. If it is genuine, you have a problem to solve, rather than a tactic to overcome.
The Use Of Higher Authority:
This can be a most effective way to reduce pressure in the negotiation by introducing an unseen third party and can also be effective in bringing the negotiation to a close.
"I need to have this agreed by my Board of Directors." "If they agree to the terms we have discussed, do we have a deal?".
However, be careful to use this device sparingly so that the other side does not begin to feel you have no decision making authority yourself.
One way of countering this tactic is to say before the bargaining begins: "If this proposal meets your needs, is there any reason you would not give me your decision today?"
If the other side still wishes to resort to higher authority, appeal to their ego by saying: "Of course, they will go along with your recommendations, won’t they? Will you be recommending this proposal?"
Negotiations can be a tiring process. As the point draws near when an agreement is likely, both sides exhibit a psychological need to reach agreement and get on with something else.
You are very vulnerable as the other side reaches for their pen to sign the order form or contract, to concede items that don’t significantly affect the final outcome. "Oh, by the way, this does include free delivery, doesn’t it?" or "Oh, by the way, the price of the car does include a full tank of petrol?"
Nibbles work best when they are small and asked for at the right psychological moment. Like peanuts, eat enough of them and they get fattening.
Good negotiators will often keep back certain items on their want list until the very last minute when the other party is vulnerable. Watch out for this.
The Good Guy And The Bad Guy:
You may have come across this tactic before or else seen it used in films or on television. This is a tactic designed to soften you up in the negotiation.
For example, you are negotiating the renewal of your service contract with the Buying Director and his Finance Director. You present your proposal and the Buying Director suddenly gets angry and walks out in disgust muttering to himself about how unfair you have been and how the relationship is well and truly over.
You pick up your briefcase and are being shown the door when the Finance Director smiles at you sympathetically and says:
"I’m terribly sorry about that. He is under a lot of pressure. I would like to help you renew your contract, but he really will not consider the price you have suggested. Why don’t I go and talk to him for you and see if we can agree a compromise? What is the bottom line on the contract? If you give me your very best price, I will see what I can do".
The best way of dealing with this tactic is to recognise the game that is being played and assess exactly what the quality of the relationship is. You may be able to say something like:
"Come off it, you are using good guy, bad guy. You are a superb negotiator, but let’s sit down and discuss the proposal realistically". If you don’t have this kind of relationship, stand firm and insist on dealing with the bad guy, or else bluff yourself and give a figure that is within your acceptable range of alternatives.
One way of combining .good guy, bad guy. with higher authority is by saying things Like:
"Well, I’d love to do a deal with you on that basis, but my manager refuses to let me agree terms of his nature without referring back and he refuses to talk to salespeople. Give me your best price and I will see what I can do"
Body Language:
It is important in negotiation to react verbally and visually when offers are made. You may have seen the more theatrical negotiators hang their heads in despair or accuse you of being unfair and souring a perfectly good relationship when you present your proposal. Human nature is such that we can believe and accept these outbursts against us and our negotiating position becomes weaker as a result.
Ensure the next time you are in a negotiation that you react to the other party’s offer. If you show no reaction, they may be tempted to ask for more and more and you will lose the initiative in the negotiation. Also, it is almost certain that their opening offer is higher than the figure for which they are prepared to settle, so it is important that you clearly signal your unwillingness to accept the opening position.
If you reach the point below which you will not go, it is important that you show this with your body language. News readers, when they have finished reading the news, have a habit of picking up their script and tidying up their papers. This tells the world that they have finished their task and are preparing to leave.
Similarly, when you make your final offer, it can be very powerful to collect your papers together and indicate with your body that it really is your final offer. Put your pen away, sit back in your chair and remain silent. Look concerned and keep quiet.
If your voice says final offer but your body is saying let’s keep talking, the other party will disregard what you say and keep negotiating.
The Use Of Silence:
During the negotiation, you may make a proposal and find the other party remains silent. This can be very difficult to handle and often signals disapproval to the inexperienced negotiator. Just as nature abhors a vacuum, so silence induces the need in people to talk.
If you have a proposal to make, make it and ask the other side how he or she feels about it. Having asked the question, sit back and wait for the answer. Whatever you do; don’t change your offer as this could seriously weaken your position.
The Vice -or the Crunch:
A common technique used by negotiators when presented with a proposal is to say: "You’ll have to do better than that."

The most powerful way of dealing with this is to ask them to be more specific. Whatever you do, don’t weaken your negotiating position in response to the vice by giving anything away, too easily. This will only encourage repeat behaviour.
The Power Of Legitimacy:
People believe what they see in writing. We all assume that if a thing is printed or written down, it is nonnegotiable.
This is what can make price lists so powerful. If you have to present a customer with a price increase or you wish to encourage an early order to beat a price increase, show something in writing such as an office memo from your boss announcing the increase. This will have a far greater impact than just saying your prices are about to go up.
When presented with a price tag in a shop, ask to speak to the manager and make him an offer. You could be surprised at the results.
The Low Key Approach:
Don’t appear too enthusiastic during negotiations. Over-enthusiasm can encourage skilled negotiators to review their strategy and demand more.
If you are in a negotiation and the other side is not responding to your proposal, recognize this could be a tactic and avoid giving concessions just to cheer them up.
Salespeople like to be liked and will often give money away in a negotiation, if the other side appears unhappy. For example, if you are buying a car avoid saying to the seller things like:
"This is exactly what I’m looking for. I really like the alloy wheels".
Develop a low-key approach. Say things like:
"Well, it may not be exactly what I’m looking for but I might be interested if the price is right".
Using Deadlines As A Negotiation Tool:
Many years ago I was looking at a truck for sale. I asked the owner why he was selling (always a good idea). He told me that the IRS was coming after him and he needed to sell the truck by the weekend (It was Tuesday). When do you think you would be able to negotiate the best price on the truck? Maybe right now, but certainly on Friday if the truck is still available. On Friday he would be desperate to get what he could from the
truck before it was seized by the IRS.
This guy wasn't using good negotiation skills. He gave away too much information. More specifically, he gave away his deadline. One of the most important things to understand in negotiating is deadlines. The two things to remember about them are:

Don't give away your deadline(s), and 2. Find the other side's deadline(s).

Find out whatever you can about any relevant deadlines. Sometimes there isn't a clear deadline, or there are several deadlines for different parts of the negotiation. Whatever the case, the more information you can gather about those deadlines, the better.
How do you use that information once you have it? The crudest method is to simply delay and wait until the last moment to negotiate. This only works if the other side doesn't walk away, and if your own deadline permits it. It also requires that there are not others who can take your place (as is clearly the case with a truck for sale - it might not be there Friday).
Exclude Competition:
If you could exclude competition in any negotiation, you'll have a better chance of getting what you want, right? How do you do that? Start by never mentioning competition to the other side. It's possible they don't know all their options, and it's not your job to enlighten them.
At the negotiating table, be ready to confront the competition head-on, when the other side brings it up.
In the carpet cleaning business for example, an owner could politely dismiss the competition when it is brought up. He could say something like, "They're okay, if price is all that's important to you. Of course, they can't clean as deep with their machines.
If you want the deepest cleaning and at a temperature that kills
dust mites and other things in the carpet, you have to have a machine like ours, and fully trained technicians."
Extreme Initial Positions:
Everyone knows this technique, but most are afraid to use it. A real estate investor I was talking to the other
day told me,"If you aren't embarrassed by your offer, it isn't low enough." He's made millions in real estate, so I think he's worth listening to.
Many years ago I sold a car. A nice guy, after crawling under and inside the car, offered me half of what I was asking. I said no, and he left his phone number, in case I changed my mind. As he drove away, I wondered what was wrong with the car, and I was suddenly hoping I could get just a bit more than that half-price offer.
My expectations had been altered quickly. Fortunately another person gave me the full asking price before I decided to pick up that phone.
The 10-second strategy. Silence makes most of us uncomfortable. In today's world, there is noise all around us, from the cell phones ringing, to the iPod in our ear, to chats around the water cooler. We are conditioned to noise, not being silent. Try this test: the next time you are negotiating with the other party, and they say something like "well, that's my offer," don't utter a word for 10 seconds. It's practically guaranteed they will jump in with another offer or more information, anything to break the silence. When you get comfortable with 10 seconds, bump it up to 20 seconds. The silence will hang like lead and drive them crazy!
Ask questions. A good way to learn silence is to ask questions, another secret weapon of successful negotiators. The person asking the questions controls the conversation. While you can get information from the person answering the question, generally if you have done your homework, you should already know the answer before you ask. Lawyers are taught to never ask a question without already knowing the answer; good advice. What you are really doing here is getting the other person to talk, perhaps to verify your information,
but really to feel more comfortable working with you, and therefore to trust you.
Allan and Barbara Pease, Body Language_The Definite Book
Things to Know about Hearing Loss

Hearing loss is a major public health issue that is the third most common physical condition after arthritis and heart disease.
Gradual hearing loss can affect people of all ages -- varying from mild to profound. Hearing loss is a sudden or gradual decrease in how well you can hear. Depending on the cause, it can be mild or severe, temporary or permanent.
Degrees of hearing loss: mild, moderate, severe, profound.
Congenital hearing loss means you are born without hearing, while gradual hearing loss happens over time.
Hearing loss is an invisible condition; we cannot see hearing loss, only its effects. Because the presence of a hearing loss is not visible, these effects may be attributed to aloofness, confusion, or personality changes.
In adults, the most common causes of hearing loss are noise and aging. There is a strong relationship between age and reported hearing loss.
In age-related hearing loss, known as presbycusis, changes in the inner ear that happen as you get older cause a slow but steady hearing loss. The loss may be mild or severe, and it is always permanent.
In older people, a hearing loss is often confused with, or complicates, such conditions as dementia.
Noise-induced hearing loss may happen slowly over time or suddenly. Being exposed to everyday noises, such as listening to very loud music, being in a noisy work environment, or using a lawn mower, can lead to hearing loss over many years.
Sudden, noise-induced hearing loss from gunfire and explosions is the number one disability caused by combat in current wars.
More often than not severe tinnitus (or ringing in the ears) will accompany the hearing loss and may be just as debilitating as the hearing loss itself.
Other causes of hearing loss include earwax buildup, an object in the ear, injury to the ear or head, ear infection, a ruptured eardrum, and other conditions that affect the middle or inner ear.
For more questions and answers read An Overview of Hearing Loss – Its Signs, Implications and Solutions.

source: http://www.hearingloss.org/content/basic-facts-about-hearing-loss, consulted on October 31, 2014
What is BATNA?
TipNegotiation DOC 1
2. Small talk
& building rapport

Vocabulary | Vocabulary Quiz | Preparation | Negotiation Process | Settlement | Test
Dispute_Resolution DOC 2
ENGLISH Presentation - 5 ways to listen better
ICEN Fatma & Mukarusine Thérèse - 15/10/2014 - DOC 14
EXERCISing: gapfill and drop down of the transcript - DOC 141
Examples of
Introduce :
Build rapport
May I introduce myself? I'm...
I don't think we've met. I'm...
Let me / I'd like to introduce you to...
This is...
I want you to meet...

Nice to meet you.
I'm delighted to meet you.
Pleased to meet you, too.
Hello. How are you?
Good /nice to see you again.
Small talk:
How's the family?
How's life?
How did you get here?
Did you have a good journey?
Did you have any problems
finding us?
Discuss and propose
It’s good to see you again.
OK, let’s get down to business.
I would like to begin by saying that …
I would like to discuss…
If I understand correctly, you are proposing + ING or + that you...

I’m not sure I completely understand.

It depends what you mean when you say...

What exactly do you mean?

Why not?
Asking for more information
Sorry to interrupt but…
Establishing objectives

Stating your position


Asking for a reaction

I’d like to suggest+ ING or+ that you ….
Let me remind you of…
I’d rather not … + inf. without to
I was hoping for…
I see, but…

The main problem is /as we see it is …
I’m afraid I won’t be able to…

This is not usual practice…

I’m afraid we cannot accept because…

Yes, but…
I understand your position on…
Absolutely fine by me.
Wouldn’t it be better if we…
We have a deal.
Considering …,don’t you think that…
We feel that due to… would be fair.
Supposing we… wouldn’t you agree…?
We’re prepared to … providing that …
So, let’s say that I accept...
Are you willing to …
If you accept…, we could consider…
I suggest a compromise…
But you’d agree that…
We would appreciate if you could…
If we agree to... are you prepared to...?
Saying what you do:
I'm in charge of...+ noun or -ing
I'm responsible for...+ noun or -ing
My job involves ...+ noun or -ing
I deal with...
I handle...
I oversee...
The time spent in small talk will vary according to cultures. In some, it is essential to spend quite a lot of time establishing rapport.
Small talk takes place before getting down to negotiation, during breaks and eventually after having settled to an agreement.
I'd like to outline our aims and objectives.
There are two main areas that we'd like to concentrate on / discuss.
I think we should start by stating our overall objectives.We could then move on to present an overview of our respective organizations.
Would you go along with that?
Would that fit with your ideas?
What we would like to achieve from this meeting is...
As you can see,…
These are our usual terms.
Our company policy is …
Our position is …
Does anything I have suggested /
proposed seem unclear to you?
I'd like to clarify our position.
Could you clarify the last point
for me please?
Our main objective is to find more about...
Inviting proposals
Making proposals
Reacting to proposals
Proposing alternatives
Exploring positions
Build it up!
Stating your position
What would your proposal be?
Would you like to suggest something?
What do you suggest?
I'd like to start by suggesting...
Our proposal would be to...
I propose that we should (consider... first).
I'd like to suggest (a six-month trial period).
I see what you mean.
I take your point but (that's not a long term view).
That may be so. However, (it's not what we agreed in our last meeting).
Alternatively, ...
On the other hand, ...
Well, might it not be better to...?
Negotiating Deals with MP3

Lingua House DOC 11
TO be filled yourself from "Business Grammar and Practice" Michael Duckworth, Oxford Business English - units 41 to 45, p.167-186.
Non Violent Communication
Marshall Rosenberg's NEEDS & FEELINGS LISTS
20 pages advised READing: What's Making You Angry? Shari Klein and Neill Gibson DOC 12
Sensory language
Start very simply...
Diplomatic language
READing: Manage Conflicts in Lon-Term Relationships in Dispute Resolution DOC 2
How to Say What Matters Most?
Also very useful:
Workshp in San Fransiso

Anne Laws
Use of conditional
Learn the language in the prezi Negotiation Language
READing and making good use of What's Making You Angry _ 10 Steps to Transforming Anger so Everyone Wins - Shari Klein & Neill Gibson - DOC 12
STUDYing and USing to complete the Negotiation Language Prezi:
Non Violent Communication Vocabulary DOC 16
STUDYing: DOC 17
PRACTISing : DOC 171
Negotiation summary NK ?
Check out those concepts:
High and low contexts
Intercultural differences
Soft Skills
Social skills
Setting the stage
Prepare, present and negotiate
to win
BATNA Basics: Boost Your Power at the Bargaining Table - PON Harvard Law School -DOC 15
Best Summaries: 52 Things to Do to Raise Your Self-Esteem -Jerry A. Minchinton DOC 18
Building Your Network by Brian Tracy, 8 pages - DOC 191
Best summries: Effective Networking for Professional Success -
How to Make the Most of Your Personal contacts by Rupert HART DOC 192
Lingua House DOC 11
Negotiation skills DOC 3
Best summaries: First Impressions: What You Don't Know About How Others See You - DOC 13
First impression

it is
McLeod, S.A. (2007). Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Retrieved from http://www.simplyphychology.org/maslow.thml
Negotiation can be a tough process and it is not likely that partners will easily give in making concessions that they are not willing to make.
The negotiation technique I am referring to as "salami technique" means that you should not expect to receive the whole salami at once; it is easier to get it slice by slice."
Therefore, when you are not satisfied with the offer your partner makes, (but you don’t have a better choice) try to minimize the extent of time regarding this offer. For instance, let’s suppose that you are the manager of a niche products company, agricultural machines. Your provider is the only one that imports these parts that you need (at least for the moment he is the only one) and you don’t really have another choice. He offers a 10% discount if the payment is made within 30 days, yet you want a better offer, as you have been an important client of his for more than 2 years. Therefore, asking 30% discount might determine a "back off" reaction and the impression that you want the whole salami now. Yet, you can negotiate slice by slice. Don’t make the contract for a whole year, cut it in shorter periods and renegotiate every time.
A contract for an year might have brought another 5% off, but let’s say if you started with 13% (the initial 10% plus other 3% negotiated) and gradually increasing every 2 months, in an year time, this brings more than the initial 15% offered. Yes of course, it requires more time but the difference is notable. Because even if you only get 1% more every two months, the chances are that you’ll buy for less the second half of the year.
For instance, in 2 months time you can renegotiate an extra 2 or 3 percent and by the end of the year you might end up with an extra 10% off.
Psychologists demonstrated that the normal reaction when someone asks for what seems to be "too much" all of a sudden, is that of blockage and back off. That’s why in business and negotiation process you need to be aware of the other’s interests too, in an attempt to create a win – win situation."
Especially for long term relationships, you can’t afford losing a partner by scaring him off with a request that is not realistic or profitable from his point of view.
This technique is also adopted with partners who don’t know each other. In such conditions, a lower trust level is normal and it has to be built step by step. Building a relationship takes time and because of this, the negotiation process might be slower.

However, the salami slice technique has the following advantages:
-Reveals more about the personality of the partner and about the intensity of his expectations
-Listening carefully might reveal the weak points of the other’s power structure
-People can honorably step back in the case of difficult situations
Therefore, the slice by slice method is an efficient one and its advantages are shown especially in long term business relationships. It is very important that you see the other’s perspective too. For instance, as in the example given above, you should be realistic enough to see that for a concession from your partner, you have to come with a concession of your own. So when you ask for an extra 3% off, you should be prepared to also say that you’ll purchase more, for instance, 5% more than the last order.
It is crucial to keep a sense of balance, trust and a win-win negotiation especially when you talk about long term contracts. Even if you might eventually press your partner – as in the case described above - which had no other choice but this supplier – keep in mind that it is still a matter of time! You never know when a better offer might come along and if you don’t have a satisfied partner, the chances are that you won’t have him for long.
Reputation does count! Think about yourself, would you do business with someone that is known for his rapacity? You should be aware that you might just be the next "victim".
Therefore, keep an honest balance, offer something in return and why not, take the salami!
Salami Technique
Alan Ovson - You Get What You Negotiate
Negotiation Language
Full transcript