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Communication Styles Workshop
Transcript of Communication Styles Workshop
The value of knowing your stronger and weaker styles is explained by the concept known as Style Flexing. Simply put, we will be much more effective in understanding others and helping them to understand us if we are able to flex, or modify our natural style when we recognize that the person with whom we are communicating has a different mixture from our own. Activity Get into groups of 4-5, forming groups with at least one communication style per group and solve the issues in the following scenarios that best fit all of your communication styles. Closing Good communication is KEY in Alpha Delta Pi. We communicate with one another consistently, whether we have a formal leadership position or not. Alpha Delta Pi is comprised of a diverse group of woman, which makes us stronger and more special. When we consider other people's communication styles, we are respecting who they are and what they stand for, while also achieving a common goal. I challenge you all to become more aware of each others differences to more effectively communicate! Always remember...WE LIVE FOR EACH OTHER! April 14th 2013 Quiz Time! Complete it as honestly and truthfully as you can. In doing so, it will benefit you the most in showing you how you best communicate with others! The Thinker... The Feeler... The Sensor... ...may appear aloof, seemingly a daydreamer. In reality, this person is forming global concepts, integrating experience in different ways, looking for meaning in each, and constantly searching to know the “why” behind each “what.” Being told that something is true is not enough. The Intuitor must discover it from personal experience. ...has a strong need to be correct. This person demonstrates a structured and systematic approach to learning, gathering facts rather than ideas. The Thinker is logical. Organized, systematic, and enjoys collecting and processing information. They also give much attention to detail and precision. ...enjoys dealing with the moods, feelings and emotions of self and others. Learning is visceral as much as verbal. This person is empathetic, sentimental, and in tune with the feelings of others. Feelers are more concerned with the reactions of others than with objective reality. ...is a here-and-now, action-oriented person who gets to the point and expects others to do the same. This person dissipates anxiety through action rather than by imagining, analyzing or feeling. Restless and squirmy, the Sensor is tapping feet or fingers while the mind races ahead at 100 miles per hour. What do you think of when you think of The Wizard of Oz? Where/when might it be useful to understand different communication styles? We are going to present you with a few scenarios involving good communication that might come up as a member of ADPi. You will get 5 minutes to discuss with your group, and then we will come back as a group and share your solution. Scenario #1
A fellow sister officer has not been responding to emails, text messages or any other mode of communication. She has also not being doing her job to her fullest capability and it is not only having affects on her team, but also the chapter as a whole. You have the opportunity to confront her about the issue. What do you say to her? How do you communicate your frustration as well as her situation both professionally and effectively? Scenario #2
You notice that one of your sisters has been behaving in a way that does not represent Alpha Delta Pi positively. She is not attending her classes, not studying, excessively drinking and partying and shows a lack of enthusiasm for her membership. How do you remind her of her obligations and understand the underlying problem without being too pushy or noisy? How might effective communication be good in confronting her about what she is doing wrong? Scenario #3
You are a general member in our chapter and would like to be more involved as a leader in ADPi. Although you do not hold a formal leadership position, you have many good ideas that you would like to share with an officer about certain tasks that fall under her office. How do you effectively communicate with the officer without undermining her position? What is the best way to express your ideas in a positive and productive way? On each line, read the 4 choices, and select (by placing a checkmark) the word or phrase that is most descriptive of you. There is no such thing as a ‘best’ style, so do not choose what sounds ‘best’. Choose one per line working from left to right, going across
1. a)Like to analyze b) Like to interact c) Like to Decide d) Like to Explore
2. a)Objective b)Emotional c)Practical d)Visionary
3. a)Logical b) Encouraging c)To the Point d)Creative
4. a)Consistency b) Spontaneity c)Determination d)Insight
5. a)Order b)Cooperation c)Results d)Concepts
6. a)Value details b)Bored with details c)Value facts d)Value ideas
7. a)Controlled b)Personable c)Action-oriented d)Dreamer
8. a) Composed b)Empathetic c)Quick d)Intellectual
9. a)Cautious b)Enthusiastic c)Sensible d)Original
10. a)Formal b)Informal c)Motivating d)Inspiring
11. a)Detached b)Sentimental c)Impatient d)Preoccupied
12. a)Problem-solver b)Supporter c)Implementer d)Developer
13. a)Data b)Feelings c)Plain talk d)Possibilities
14. a)Critical b)Moody c)Driven d)Distant
15. a)Truth b)Harmony c)Reality d)Change
16. a)Precise b)Tactful c)Direct d)Complex
Total the amount of As, Bs, Cs and Ds, circling the majority If you answered mostly Ds.... If you answered mostly As.... If you answered mostly Bs.... If you answered mostly Cs.... Positives of the Intuitor
•Are visionary, seem to see into the future and are good, long-range planners•Love to learn new skills•Have great imaginations•Focus on how things can be improved•Are able to identify creative solutions and fresh and novel approaches Negative of the Intuitor
•Long on vision, short on action
•Avoid nitty-gritty, hates phone coverage
•Hard to read
•May come across as ‘superior’, arrogant, or condescending
•May not follow-through on tasks
•May procrastinate Positives of the Thinker
Are good at putting things in order
Have talent for analyzing a problem of situations
Make objective decisions based on logic
Tend to be brief and business-like
Value accuracy and preciseness
Treat people fairly
Follow rules and policies
Are sought out for problem solving abilities Negatives of the Thinker
Can be overly cautious or too slow
Might miss the forest for the trees
Can hurt other’s feelings
Might not give enough positive feedback
Their knack for remembering policy, adhering to policy and attention to detail can cause a Feeler to think the Thinker is looking for things to criticize Positives of the Feeler
Are good at building rapport and communicating tactfully
Consider the impact on other people when making decisions
Have a talent for empathizing and creating harmony
Are naturally friendly and have a good sense of humor
Take an interest in the person behind the job
Treat each person uniquely Negative of the Feeler
•Overly personalize situations
•Relationships can cloud judgment
•Might overlook important details
•Lack of planning can cause disorganization
•May spend too much time socializing
•Ask a feeler “how are you” and they will tell you more than you ever wanted to know. Positives of the Sensor
Are resourceful, determined, practical and down-to-earth
•Have a talent for getting things done
•Make decisions quickly based on facts and past experience
•Focus on actions, results and rewards
•Like to get to the “bottom line” or “cut to the chase”
•Enjoy the present moment
•Work steadily with a realistic idea of how long it will take. Negatives of the Sensor
Disregard long-term consequences of actions/decisions
Under stress may alienate others
May be poor listeners often interrupt
Might create ‘messes’ for others to ‘clean up’ 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Everyday(thanks to Melissa and Lauren for the article!) by: Jeff Haden Want to make a huge difference in someone's life? Here are things you should say every day to your employees, colleagues, family members, friends, and everyone you care about: "Here's what I'm thinking."
You're in charge, but that doesn't mean you're smarter, savvier, or more insightful than everyone else. Back up your statements and decisions. Give reasons. Justify with logic, not with position or authority.
Though taking the time to explain your decisions opens those decisions up to discussion or criticism, it also opens up your decisions to improvement.
Authority can make you "right," but collaboration makes everyone right--and makes everyone pull together. "I was wrong."
I once came up with what I thought was an awesome plan to improve overall productivity by moving a crew to a different shift on an open production line. The inconvenience to the crew was considerable, but the payoff seemed worth it. On paper, it was perfect.
In practice, it wasn't.
So, a few weeks later, I met with the crew and said, "I know you didn't think this would work, and you were right. I was wrong. Let's move you back to your original shift."
I felt terrible. I felt stupid. I was sure I'd lost any respect they had for me.
It turns out I was wrong about that, too. Later one employee said, "I didn't really know you, but the fact you were willing to admit you were wrong told me everything I needed to know." "That was awesome."
No one gets enough praise. No one. Pick someone--pick anyone--who does or did something well and say, "Wow, that was great how you..."
And feel free to go back in time. Saying "Earlier, I was thinking about how you handled that employee issue last month..." can make just as positive an impact today as it would have then. (It could even make a bigger impact, because it shows you still remember what happened last month, and you still think about it.)
Praise is a gift that costs the giver nothing but is priceless to the recipient. Start praising. The people around you will love you for it--and you'll like yourself a little better, too. "You're welcome."
Think about a time you gave a gift and the recipient seemed uncomfortable or awkward. Their reaction took away a little of the fun for you, right?
The same thing can happen when you are thanked or complimented or praised. Don't spoil the moment or the fun for the other person. The spotlight may make you feel uneasy or insecure, but all you have to do is make eye contact and say, "Thank you." Or make eye contact and say, "You're welcome. I was glad to do it."
Don't let thanks, congratulations, or praise be all about you. Make it about the other person, too. "Can you help me?"
When you need help, regardless of the type of help you need or the person you need it from, just say, sincerely and humbly, "Can you help me?"
I promise you'll get help. And in the process you'll show vulnerability, respect, and a willingness to listen--which, by the way, are all qualities of a great leader.
And are all qualities of a great friend. "I'm sorry."
We all make mistakes, so we all have things we need to apologize for: words, actions, omissions, failing to step up, step in, show support...
Say you're sorry.
But never follow an apology with a disclaimer like "But I was really mad, because..." or "But I did think you were..." or any statement that in any way places even the smallest amount of blame back on the other person.
Say you're sorry, say why you're sorry, and take all the blame. No less. No more.
Then you both get to make the freshest of fresh starts. "Can you show me?"
Advice is temporary; knowledge is forever. Knowing what to do helps, but knowing how or why to do it means everything.
When you ask to be taught or shown, several things happen: You implicitly show you respect the person giving the advice; you show you trust his or her experience, skill, and insight; and you get to better assess the value of the advice.
Don't just ask for input. Ask to be taught or trained or shown.
Then you both win. "Let me give you a hand."
Many people see asking for help as a sign of weakness. So, many people hesitate to ask for help.
But everyone needs help.
Don't just say, "Is there anything I can help you with?" Most people will give you a version of the reflexive "No, I'm just looking" reply to sales clerks and say, "No, I'm all right."
Be specific. Find something you can help with. Say "I've got a few minutes. Can I help you finish that?" Offer in a way that feels collaborative, not patronizing or gratuitous. Model the behavior you want your employees to display.
Then actually roll up your sleeves and help. "I love you."
No, not at work, but everywhere you mean it--and every time you feel it. Nothing.
Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. If you're upset, frustrated, or angry, stay quiet. You may think venting will make you feel better, but it never does.
That's especially true where your employees are concerned. Results come and go, but feelings are forever. Criticize an employee in a group setting and it will seem like he eventually got over it, but inside, he never will.
Before you speak, spend more time considering how employees will think and feel than you do evaluating whether the decision makes objective sense. You can easily recover from a mistake made because of faulty data or inaccurate projections.
You'll never recover from the damage you inflict on an employee's self-esteem.
Be quiet until you know exactly what to say--and exactly what affect your words will have.