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Kurt Cobain

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Morgan Stafford

on 12 March 2013

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Transcript of Kurt Cobain

-Kurt Cobain February 20, 1967 To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU! 7- Divorce

Defiant
Withdrawn Broken promise Angst I would rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. Grays Harbor Hospital in Aberdeen, Washington Wendy Elizabeth 19
Donald Leland Cobain +2 Happy
Excitable
Caring
Sensitive "I remember feeling ashamed, for some reason. I was ashamed of my parents. I couldn't face some of my friends at school anymore, because I desperately wanted to have the classic, you know, typical family. Mother, father. I wanted that security, so I resented my parents for quite a few years because of that." Jon Savage (1993). "Kurt Cobain: The Lost Interview" NirvanaFreak.net. Retrieved February 15, 2013 Jenny Westeby Mindy and James Chad Cobain only boy resentment mother dating witnessed broken arm completely committed Behavior problems Therapist- single family Bully 1979- full custody Teenage Rebellion Overwhelming family and friends Bible Beater Jesse Reed "anti-God" rants The song "Lithium" is about his experience while living with the Reed family Jainism and Buddhist philosophy "freedom from pain, suffering and the external world," paralleled with the punk rock ethic and ideology. late night television documentaries Sports: Jr High wrestling Purposly get pinned Little league Strike out Homosexual

Heterosexual

"Gay in spirit"

"God Is Gay"

"Ain't got no how watchamacallit"

"I am not gay, although I wish I were, just to piss off homophobes." Artist

Human anatomy

MJ- innapropriate, Ronald Reagan Junior

No credits

Graduate

Job/ Leave

Boxes

Banished

Friends

Basement ninja Whichkah River "Something in the Way" -Nevermind "He hung out there, but you couldn't live on those muddy banks, with the tides coming up and down. That was his own revisionism." -Krist Novoselic 1986

Polynesian coastal resort

Stealing food

Late evening

Television

Art projects

Tracy Marander

Drug use

JOBJOBJOB

"About a Girl" Toby Vail

Vomit

"Love you so much it makes me sick" -Aneurysm

Maternal comfort

Inspire "Kurt Smells Like Teen Spirit"

Nevermind (1991) Revolutionary meaning R. Cross, Charles. Cobain Unseen, p. 20. Retrieved March 3, 2013

Azerrad, M. (April 16, 1992). "Inside the Heart and Mind of Nirvana". Rolling Stone, p. 17. Retrieved March 3, 2013 Charles R. Cross. "Cobain Unseen". Retrieved February 10, 2013

A. William R. "Ancestry of Frances Bean Cobain". Wargs.com. Retrieved February 10, 2013

Halperin, Ian & Wallace, Max (1998). "Who Killed Kurt Cobain?". Birch Lane Press. Retrieved February 10, 2013 Kurt Cobain, age 4 (Courtesy of Google images) R. Cross, Charles. Cobain Unseen, p. 24, 25, 26. Retrieved March 3, 2013 R. Cross, Charles. Cobain Unseen, p. 26, 27. Retrieved March 3, 2013 R. Cross, Charles. Cobain Unseen, p. 69, 76, 196. Retrieved March 3, 2013

Azerrad, M. (April 16, 1992). "Inside the Heart and Mind of Nirvana". Rolling Stone, p. 22. Retrieved March 3, 2013 Azerrad, M. (April 16, 1992). "Inside the Heart and Mind of Nirvana". Rolling Stone, p. 20-25. Retrieved March 3, 2013 Azerrad, M. (April 16, 1992). "Inside the Heart and Mind of Nirvana". Rolling Stone, p. 43, 46. Retrieved March 3, 2013

R. Cross, Charles. Cobain Unseen, pgs 88-93, 116, 117, 122, 134-36, 143, 153. Retrieved March 3, 2013 Cross, Charles R. "Requiem for a Dream." Guitar World. Retrieved March 2, 2012 Azerrad, M. (April 16, 1992). "Inside the Heart and Mind of Nirvana". Rolling Stone, pgs 35, 37. Retrieved March 2, 2013 R. Cross, Charles. Cobain Unseen, p 41. Retrieved March 3, 2013 R. Cross, Charles. Cobain Unseen, p 68. Retrieved March 3, 2013

Cobain, Kurt (2002). Journals. Riverhead Hardcover. Retrieved March 3, 2013 Azerrad, M. (April 16, 1992). "Inside the Heart and Mind of Nirvana". Rolling Stone, pgs 22. Retrieved March 2, 2013

R. Cross, Charles. Cobain Unseen, p 69, 196. Retrieved March 3, 2013 No music

Krist Novoselic

Practice

Mix

Fecal Matter

Months "Fineeeeee"

Nirvana! :') BOOM Nevermind

Mainstream

GRUNGE 4 LIFE. SO HARDCORE.

"Generation X"

"In Utero" (1993)

Struggles

Death Threats Frances Farmer Azerrad, M. (April 16, 1992). "Inside the Heart and Mind of Nirvana". Rolling Stone. Archived from the original. Retrieved March 2, 2013

"Nirvana Tops 50 Million Mark In Worldwide Sales, 'Journals' Number One". Yahoo! Music. Retrieved March 1, 2013

R. Cross, Charles. "Cobain Unseen" p. 253. Retrieved March 4, 2013

Savage, Jon. "Sounds Dirty: The Truth About Nirvana". The Observer. Retrieved March 5, 2013 Dave Grohl

Music

Lyrics

Attempts

Contradictions "My lyrics are a big pile of contradictions. They're split down the middle between very sincere opinions that I have and sarcastic opinions and feelings that I have and sarcastic and hopeful, humorous rebuttals toward cliché bohemian ideals that have been exhausted for years." "Why in the hell do journalists insist on coming up with a second-rate Freudianevaluation of my lyrics, when 90 percent of the time they've transcribed them incorrectly?" -Kurt Cobain - Kurt Cobain Sliver: The Best of the Box album booklet. Retrieved March 5, 2013 R. Cross, Charles. Cobain Unseen, p. 182. Retrieved March 3, 2013 (DVD) Classic Albums—Nirvana: Nevermind. Isis Productions. 2004. Retrieved March 5, 2013 Azerrad, M. (April 16, 1992). "Inside the Heart and Mind of Nirvana". Rolling Stone. Archived from the original. P. 45. Retrieved March 2, 2013 Heart- Shaped Box

Rape Me

Pennyroal Tea

Polly

Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle R. Cross, Charles. "Cobain Unseen" p. 136. Retrieved March 6, 2013 1990

Satyricon nightclub

Bonding

Heroin

1992 SNL

Waikiki Beach, Hawaii

Satin and lace- Frances Farmer

Green pajamas R. Cross, Charles. Bibliography “Heavier Than Heaven,” p. 201. Retrieved March 6, 2013

Azerrad, M. (April 16, 1992). "Inside the Heart and Mind of Nirvana". Rolling Stone. Archived from the original. p. 172, 236. Courtney Love: "We bonded over pharmaceuticals." Retrieved March 6, 2013 August 18, 1992

Frances Bean

Children's Services

Jamie

Urine Tests

MOAR HEROINNN Azerrad, M. (April 16, 1992). "Inside the Heart and Mind of Nirvana". Rolling Stone. Archived from the original. P. 266, 270. Retrieved March 2, 2013

R. Cross, Charles. Bibliography “Heavier Than Heaven,” p. 296, 297. Retrieved March 6, 2013 Drug use Beverly

ADHD

BPD

Suicide Brian Libby. "Even in His Youth". AHealthyMe.com. Archived from the original on 2007-02-02. Retrieved March 6, 2013

1993

Withdrawals

Overdose

Love

Narcan Azerrad, M. (April 16, 1992). "Inside the Heart and Mind of Nirvana". Rolling Stone. Archived from the original. p. 66. Retrieved March 6, 2013

R. Cross, Charles. Bibliography “Heavier Than Heaven,” p. 296, 297. Retrieved March 6, 2013 Sick

Germany-Rome

Champagne + Rohypnol

5 days

#1 Fricke, D. (December 15, 1994). "Courtney Love: Life After Death". Rolling Stone. Archived from the original. Retrieved March 6, 2013 March 18, 1994

Police

Gun

Confiscation

Explanations

#2 Seattle Police Department (1994). "Incident Report — March 18". Retrieved March 7, 2013 March 25, 1994

Intervention

PISSED

Detox

Masks

Daughter Cigarette

6- foot The Seattle Times. "Questions Linger After Cobain Suicide". Retrieved March 7, 2013 Private Investigator

Lake Washington

Electrician

False Appearance

Heroin + Diazepam

3 Days #3 Liu, Marian (April 6, 2009). "Kurt Cobain's death, 15 years later, being marked with Friday tribute". Seattle Times. Retrieved March 7, 2013.

Peyton, W. "Kurt Cobain's Troubled Last Days -- Drugs, Guns And Threats; And Then He Disappeared". The Seattle Times. Retrieved March 7, 2013 "He [Cobain] had the desperation, not the courage, to be himself. Once you do that, you can't go wrong, because you can't make any mistakes when people love you for being yourself. But for Kurt, it didn't matter that other people loved him; he simply didn't love himself enough." -Dave Reed (Temporary foster father of Kurt Cobain) "I mean, I know what the next Nirvana recording was going to sound like. It was going to be very quiet and acoustic, with lots of stringed instruments. It was going to be an amazing fucking record, and I’m a little bit angry at him for killing himself. He and I were going to record a trial run of the album, a demo tape. It was all set up. He had a plane ticket. He had a car picking him up. And at the last minute he called and said, 'I can't come.'" -Michael Stipe (R.E.M.'s lead singer and the chosen as the godfather of Cobain and Courtney Love's daughter, Frances Bean Cobain.) "Everybody Hurts Sometime". (1994). Newsweek. Retrieved March 7, 2013 R. Cross, Charles. Bibliography “Heavier Than Heaven,” p. 351. Retrieved March 6, 2013
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