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C is NOT for Conflict

Presentation for the "Students Leading Students" Leadership Conference by the Guam Community College. Group: Win-Win, Learn to Play Nice with Others (Conflict Resolution). *Instructor PY120-02 Professor J. P. Roberto
by

Jaricel Roman

on 6 March 2014

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Transcript of C is NOT for Conflict

C is NOT for Conflict
Compromise
Change
"Cheat"
Courage
OR
Who has ever cheated on 'anything' in their life?
Practically everyone has!
on a diet??
cheat days & cheat meals.
internal conflicts with image & self-esteem
external conflicts with others
... Cheating in an Argument
Fool me once,
shame on you.
Fool me twice -
not going to happen!
"Cheat" with
righteous morals!
The right kind of cheating
has its benefits.
I want to win & I want you to win too!
Pros
All parties are allowed to express their wants and needs.
Ideas are discussed and considered.
All parties leave conflict with some sort of 'satisfying' feeling.
Cons
Although an agreement is made, it is considered to be just a 'settled' resolution as opposed to a favored solution.
Not ALL wants and needs are granted.
Coming to an agreement can sometimes lead to other disagreements along the way.
the BIGGEST challenge in conflict resolution is finding the COURAGE to address the problem.
But :
What IS courage?
Conflict is unavoidable.
It'll find you whether you
look for it or not.
Unfortunately, unresolved
conflicts tend to escalate.
Think of it as water that is
coming to a boil.
Conflicts behaves similarly.
The water may seem calm at first, but every once in a while, usually at the worst possible times, the conflict comes back to resurface again.
DON'T FEAR CONFLICT!
EMBRACE IT!
Having courage in conflict resolution will help you embrace the problem.
It takes COURAGE to COMPROMISE!
It takes COURAGE to acknowledge CHANGE in other people and in yourself.
It takes COURAGE to CHEAT by walking away and realizing that the argument is over and you did the best you could do to handle it.
In conclusion,
CONFLICT IS INEVITABLE.
The best thing we can do is have the courage to embrace it and learn to manage it.
For them to change, I must change.
Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood.
Scenarios
verbal attacks
confronting a problem
Steps Needed to Change or Understand
Listen actively
Ask questions
Listen intently
Acknowledge them
Them
You
I can't ...
They always ...
It's too much
or too little ...
What happens if you do?
Any circumstances when they don't?
Compared with what?
The DO NOT 's
Space out
Pretend listening
Selective listening
Justify, assume or reply quickly
The WIN-WIN Situation
It is basically coming to an agreed solution amongst all those involved in a conflict.
(the calm before the storm)
Show them that you heard or understood them.
Explore the problem
Help them explore the problem.
TIPS
Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears.
Put their emotions before yours.
It is the quality of the mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty danger, pain, etc.
Doing the right thing when the wrong thing seems to produce better results.
Courage is ....
Take a peek at your cheat codes to advance?
Would you quit the game altogether?
"Cheating" actually implies that a person is actively engaged in their life and WANTS to do well - even if the easy way out could fail them.
Types of "Cheating"
The 'step-by-step' cheat
The 'drop it' cheat
internals conflict with image & self-esteem
external conflicts with others
Cheating!?
Well, take it 'step-by-step' with
Cheat a heated argument by leaving it and NOT finding solution.
your way out!
Full transcript