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Transition To Parenthood
Transcript of Transition To Parenthood
1)Chores and division of labor;
Belsky and Kelly state that couples who manage to resolve these issues can generally be happier with their marriages Video Jay Belsky & John Kelly Are the authors of The Transition to Parenthood: How a First Child Changes a Marriage
Take a look at the positive and negative effects that the birth has on a marriage
Over a seven year period he studied 250 married couples as they moved from the “gladness of late pregnancy to the madness of caring for a new baby.”
He concluded that the first year of parenthood is the most str
Belsky states that the first year of parenthood is most stressful, as it takes a toll on the couples relationship and lifestyle.
He also stated that 50% of marriages decline after the birth of a child as much of their time is spent taking care of the child and there is very little to no intimacy involved during this period of time
One young couple, Sue and Ron Akers were interviewed about her transition into parenthood and how they felt about the changes in their life. They stated that they were happy to have a child, but simultaneously when the child was born they were more overwhelmed with emotions when caring for the child.
Another interview was conducted seven years later. As a result, it was determined that the Akerses grew closer together as a couple through parenthood. What you may be concerned about Top ten concerns of parenthood: 1)How to get more sleep/encourage child to sleep
2)Fear of SIDS and what can be done to prevent it
3)Spoiling the child
4)When to begin disciplining child
5)How to balance parenting with work and social life
6)How to get support from spouse
7)Ensure that baby receives adequate nutrition
8)Ensure that the baby develops on time
9)Fear of being a bad parent Pregnancy Money Budgeting and financially planning ahead for a new child can make the transition into parenthood much easier
Take into account loss/reduction of income due to maternity
and parental leave
Children are expensive! There numerous costs associated with having a child:
•Transportation costs (Ex. a car seat, stroller)
•Costs to furnish a nursery(Ex. crib, change table, a dresser, glider or rocking chair)
•Feeding costs (highchair, baby utensils, bowls, and sippy cups, bibs)
•Grooming costs (Ex. baby towels, infant bathtub, shampoo and nail clippers)
•Safety and child proofing costs (Ex. safety gates and various locks)
•Ongoing costs (Ex. diapers, baby food)
•Optional costs (Ex. Bouncer, activity center, play mat or swings) Work Importance of Parental Leave
Studies show that maternal employment during the first years of a child’s life may have harmful effects to the child.
having a parent present during a child’s early years especially during infancy impacts a child’s development significantly
“maternal employment during a child’s first year appeared to negatively affect subsequent cognitive test scores and was associated with increases in behavioural problems".
mothers working long hours during the second and third year of a child’s life could also cause harmful affects
fathers who take paternal leave spend more time with their children and are more involved in their children not only at birth but also later in the children’s life
maternal leave lowers the rate of infant mortally
Women who stay home after giving birth breast feed their child longer which is linked to better health and possibly enhanced cognitive development
Mother that return to work shortly after giving birth are more likely to experience symptoms of depression and anxiety
Therefore, studies demonstrate the importance of parental leave on a child Chores and Division of Labour Housework refers to meal preparation, meal clean-up, cleaning and laundry
"The extent to which wives perform housework varies with their employment status"
Factors for full-time, dual-earning families that contributed to the division of responsibility for daily housework:
age of couples
number of children
the education attained by both partners
common - law
amount of income
Women employed full-time have slightly less housework than women employed part-time or home full-time. This is because men tend to take responsibility for domestic chores
However, the division of domestic chores is still far from equal
"The majority of wives who are employed full-time continue to have all or most of the responsibility for daily household tasks. These women face the double burden of paid work and unpaid housework" Expectations & Reality Discussion Questions In conclusion transition to parenthood is different for every family
Being aware of the various areas that will be affected by becoming a parent will make the transition into parenthood much easier
No individual can ever become a perfect parent but it is their duty to ensure that their child will develop in a respectable environment. In Conclusion... Social Life A recent study depicts that two thirds of new mothers who have a baby claim that their social life has been destroyed.
A vast majority of these women felt that they had been cut off from their family and friends because of all the time spent trying to care for their new child.
These new mothers claim that it is one of the hardest things to cope with, as their lifestyles change completely.
Seven out of ten women in the study stated that their social life ceased to remain or that they had very little interaction with their friends and family.
More than half stated that they also felt very lonely and would take up new hobbies to cope with their loneliness.
The total cost of the one time items would be approximately $3,000
The total cost for the first year would be approximately $10,000 Money Cont... In addition there is the cost of child care which is approximately $750 a month per child
Unlicensed or unregulated day care could possibly be less expensive.
Contribute to a RESP (a registered education savings plan) in which the savings can grow tax free
Canadian Education Savings Grant – the government will give you up to $500 per year into the RESP if you contribute to an RESP
Thus, planning ahead and budgeting for the various costs involved for a baby and the loss or reduction of income when on leave can make the transition into parenthood much easier financially. Parental leave: Both new parents have the right to take parental leave of up to 35 or 37 weeks of unpaid time off work
Pregnancy leave: Pregnant women are able to take 17 weeks off in addition to 35 weeks of parental leave.
Employment insurance parental benefits: The government pays you normally 55% of your insurable weekly salary to a maximum of $45,900 for one year. Defenitions Work Cont... Other factors to consider:
how taking time off could affect the parents’ jobs or careers stay home after maternity/paternity leave is over
Choose to work part-time or with shortened hours to accommodate day care schedules
Is there an option to work from home or have flexible work hours
All these factors needed to be taken into consideration when one is transitioning from a full time working career or job into parenthood A study was done to examine changes in relationships for married and unmarried couples.
"The data revealed that, for both mothers and fathers, supportiveness tended to be high at birth and decreased steadily thereafter."
"Partner supportiveness at birth was not a good indicator of support or stability later on in life."
"married couples had the most positive changes, with higher levels of supportiveness than dating or unmarried couples"
"cohabiting couples had the greatest decline over time in supportiveness."
supportiveness varied by different population and parental race, and family structure
Coparenting is defined as a technique parents use to work together in their roles as mothers and fathers
There are four basic components involved in coparenting:
1. parents should support each other versus undermining in the coparental role.
2.parents should accept differences on childbearing issues and values
3. the division of parental labour.
4. parental supervision and family interactions contributes to coparenting, this includes exposure of children to interparental conflict (Feinberg, 2002). Relationship Maternal Symptoms Paternal Symptoms First Trimester Second Trimester Third Trimester Physical Symptoms Emotional/ Psychological Symptoms Nausea
Food aversions or cravings
Heightened sense of smell
Low back pain
Headaches Weight gain
Shortness of breath
Frequent urination Increased weight gain
Swelling of ankles
Backache Excitement about pregnancy
Anxiety about chance of a miscarriage Self-conscious about weight gain
Low self-esteem Anxiety about labour and birth Anxiety about responsibilities of becoming a parent
Anxiety about being a good parent
Worries about finances
Coping with changes in the relationship with spouse
1 out of 10 experience physical symptoms Do you believe that parenting comes naturally?
Do you agree that having a child will affect your relationship with your significant other in a negative way?
Do you agree that 35 or 37 weeks of parental leave is adequate?
Do you feel that it is essential to take parental leave?
Do you think men experience emotional, psychological and physical symptoms like their spouse? Insomnia There are more than 40 qualified pediatric sleep centers across America to help children with sleep problems
It is estimated that 20 to 30 percent of children over 6 months suffer from insomnia or other sleep disorders
Insomnia – sleeplessness, even for just one night
Reasons: watched a scary movie, have not established a bedtime routine, or excited for the next day’s events
Some experts classify a sleep problem by how long it takes someone to fall asleep. If it takes someone longer than 30 minutes to fall asleep, three nights a week for at least three consecutive months, then they have a sleep difficulty.
Most experts focus on whether the issues during a child’s or parents’ waking hours relate to sleep problems
There are two types of insomnia in kids:
1. Sleep-onset-association insomnia
Occurs in children younger than five years old
It is usually an interrupted sleep
A child that wakes up during the night and cries out until mom and dad appear
2. Limit-setting insomnia
Occurs in children older than five years old
Prolonged bedtime – asks for a drink of water, claims there is a scary monster under the bed, etc..
1)Do you feel that it is fair that women are responsible for the majority of housework since they take time off work for maternity and parental leave?
2)Why do you think that women take more responsibility for the domestic chores? 3)We talked about communication being one main way to cope with anxiety for pregnant women, what do you think would be some other good ways for pregnant women to cope with their anxiety?
4)Why is the relationship supportiveness higher at the child`s birth and declines steadily thereafter? 5)Do you think it is fair that the government pays people 55% of their salary while on parental leave? Should it be less, more ,or the same? 6)Do you think that it is equally important for mothers and fathers to take parental leave? Why? 7)Knowing everything you know now about the transition to parenthood, do you think that having children is worth it? 8)Knowing everything you know now about the areas related to the transition to parenthood, do you think that you would be ready to have a child and know how to parent them, or would you need hands-on experience?
9) How much time does the couple have to spend time with their family once their child is born?
10) Do you think that the couple should solely spend their time with the child, or should they balance their social lives and their lives as new parents? Please Explain your reasoning.