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A Journey Through Love

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Bruce Leal

on 1 May 2013

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Transcript of A Journey Through Love

A Journey Through Love Hector Canciano
Bruce Leál What is Love? The Science of Love Which aspect of love plays the greatest role? A closer look at the different aspects of love

This study will examine the concept of love through different angles. Biological vs. Psychological Stages of Falling in Love Lust
driven by sex hormones
"get you out looking for anything” – Helen Fisher 3 stages of Love
Love is similar to mental illness
Sexy genes
Mom and dad smell sexy In the beginning, the most important part is biology, then as love matures, psychology becomes the most important Through the Lens of Anthropology Anthropologists have found evidence of romantic love in 170 societies.

They've never found a society that did not have it. Love isn't always a happy experience though... In one study of college students, researchers asked a lot of questions about love, but the two that stood out the most were,
"Have you ever been rejected by somebody who you really loved?"
"Have you ever dumped somebody who really loved you?"
Almost 95% of both men and women said yes to both.
Point blank: Almost nobody gets out of love alive. Love Through the Eyes of the Ancient Greeks Ancient Greeks were far more sophisticated in the art of loving than we are today.
6 Greek classifications of love:
Eros (named after Cupid)
Sexual passion and desire
Eros was a dangerous/fiery love which involved loss of control
Philia
Deep friendship
Involves camaraderie/brotherly love
Ludus
Playful love between children or casual lovers
Involves flirtation and teasing
Pragma
Mature love
Concerns deep understanding/making compromises
Agape
Selfless love
Universal love that extends to strangers--highest form of love
Philautia
Self-love
Unvirtuous self love--narcissistic/maximizing self fame
Positive self-love--if you truly love yourself then you will love others. Activity: Which type of love would you like to cultivate more in your life, and why? Bigger [Greek] Picture Aristotle: "All man's feelings for others are an extension of his feelings for himself"
Implication: We need a positive self-love in our lives
Greeks saw love not just with sexual partners, but with family members, strangers and even themselves What would the Greeks say?... ...we only feel "full of love" when we cultivate its various forms
Consoling thought:
If you're feeling unhappy in love and map out the love in your life according to the 6 types, then you would realize that there's much more love in your life than you previously imagined
Greeks make us rethink romantic love
Stop trying to find all 6 types of love in one person--a relationship may exhibit some loves more than others
These loves ebb and flow throughout life and gradually transform to higher forms of love. Through the Lens of Anthropology Anthropologists have found evidence of romantic love in 170 societies.

They've never found a society that did not have it. In one study of college students, researchers asked a lot of questions about love, but the two that stood out were,
"Have you ever been rejected by somebody who you really loved?"
"Have you ever dumped somebody who really loved you?"
Almost 95 percent of both men and women said yes to both.
Point blank: Almost nobody gets out of love alive. ATTRACTION driven by sex hormones

"get you out looking for anything” – Helen Fisher ATTACHMENT Stages of Loving LUST Dopamine – cocaine and nicotineNorepinephrine – AKA adrenalin.
Starts us sweating and gets the heart racingSerotonin – Chemicals that may send us temporarily insane Oxytocin- Released from the hypothalamus; bond between mother & child; orgasm to promote bonding... The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes
Vasopressin- Controller of the kidney and its role in long-term relationships was discovered when scientists looked at the prairie vole The Frisky Prairie Vole Sex is the prelude to a long-term pair.Prairie voles indulge in far more sex than is strictly necessary for the purposes of reproductionIt was thought that the two hormones, vasopressin and oxytocin, released after mating, could forge this bond.In an experiment, male prairie voles were given a drug that suppresses the effect of vasopressin.
The bond with their partner deteriorated immediately as they lost their devotion and failed to protect their partner from new suitors Looking at the Genes Evolutionary theory helps explain the way we pick partnersIt is to our advantage to mate with somebody with the best possible genesPassed on to our children, and generations to comeWe want kids with those good genespheromonesandappearance Erich Fromm We are too concerned about the object of love and not its function.

And we are too concerned with falling in love as opposed to being (standing) in love. Falling in Love Standing in Love Falling vs. Standing in Love We spend too much energy receiving love; we need to spend more energy giving it.

There is an initial experience of "falling" in love, and a permanent state of being/"standing" in love. Love is seen as a "passive affect" The exhilarating feeling becomes less and less intense, and ends in the wish for a new conquest--a new love

The sudden intimacy is by its very nature, short-lived Love is seen as an "activity"
Love that involves more giving; does not give in order to receive

What does one person give to another?
"He gives that which is alive in him"--love

~In Love, giving means receiving~
Teacher taught by students
Actor stimulated by audience
Psychoanalyst cured by patient Is Love Really Blind? Researchers at University College London have discovered that being in love can affect key circuitry in the brain.
FINDINGS:
The neural circuits that are normally associated with critical social assessment of other people are suppressed when people are in love.
People who were in love had lower levels of serotonin
In fact, their serotonin levels were found to be the same as people with obsessive compulsive disorder
IMPLICATIONS:
Researchers said the findings may explain why some people are often "blind" to their partner's faults and may explain why people who are in love can sometimes obsess about their partner. BUT if love is really blind, then why is lingerie so popular?





"True love is when you put someone on a pedestal, and they fall--but you are there to catch them."






The quality of love in our lives is the single greatest determinant of our happiness. So many things seem urgent, but finally, it's love that gives life its deepest meaning. And the true skills of dating are the skills of love. Yoga on Love Love is a state of being, NOT an episodic emotion
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