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Copy of DreamCatcher Mentoring Pre-Match Training (Volunteer)

Volunteer training for DreamCatcher Mentoring Volunteers Online. Volunteers must complete a pre-match training questionnaire survey after reviewing this presentation.

Sharla Sept

on 21 March 2016

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Transcript of Copy of DreamCatcher Mentoring Pre-Match Training (Volunteer)

Big Brothers Big Sisters
of Canada
DreamCatcher Mentoring
Volunteer Training

You and Big Brothers Big Sisters

Ready to Start!
Secure and Resilient
Why Are We Here Today? Four Reasons!

To get to know each other a little bit.

To share information on healthy, safe, respectful, and enjoyable mentoring relationships.
To talk about match participants and expectations, agency rules, and guidelines.
To emphasize the important role you play as a volunteer mentor.
You’re committing to regular match conversations for a significant period of time.
The essential members of the match are
, your
program staff,
and the
school liaison
Matches have a beginning, middle, and end: each stage is equally important.

You are part of something
Who are our Littles?
• Seeking another positive adult role model
• Willing Participants
DreamCatcher Mentoring participants are typically in Grade 9-12.
• Want to have fun, laugh, be empowered and respected.
• Diverse: different ethnicities, languages, sexual orientations, socio-economic groups, religions, interests, challenges, and strengths.
• Come from single- or dual-parent families, as well as group or foster homes or in-care facilities.
You’ll be an active participant in ensuring a compatible match.

Program staff will carefully review your application, noting your
stated preferences
, career choice,
you enjoy, your
, where you
, and other information gathered during your interview.

All of this information is carefully considered in order to make a
compatible, comfortable match
for you and mentee
If accepted as a volunteer mentor:
young Canadians were mentees last year.

You will be in contact with our agency staff frequently.
You should always feel welcome and comfortable.
The Agency:
The Training:
Same training for ALL
Mentees, schools and mentors have common understanding of
match roles
What does it mean to be a mentor?
(qualities, feelings, behaviours)
A Mentor...
Emphasizes friendship and fun over changing a youth.
Sets and respects boundaries
Puts the young person – their safety and their interests – first.
Maintains close communication with staff/guardian/school
Is a positive role model.
Is a caring friend and supporter to a young person.
Is a good listener, even when the mentee doesn’t talk a lot!
Respects the privacy of their mentee and family.
Envisions a strong, resilient, confident mentee at the end of the match.
Is patient; positive impact comes as the relationship builds.
Has realistic expectations.
Approaches mentoring from a strength-based perspective.
Is consistent and dependable.
Decides upon conversation topics together with the mentee and teacher/staff as the match evolves.
Is collaborative, not authoritarian.
Is reliable, honest, trustworthy, and fun to hang out with.
A Mentor is NOT...
a parent
financial support
Facebook friend
Successful mentoring is a series of

All of which are foundations for a match that will make a big difference for the young person and for you.
small steps
and flashes of fun
Match Participants and Stages
Mentor ("Big")
Program Staff / School Staff
- Keep your Little Safe
- Message your Little regularly
with Teacher & Program Staff
to a Mandatory Match Monitoring Schedule with Program Staff
Mandatory Match Monitoring
Why is it mandatory?
1. To ensure the match is safe and healthy

2. To ensure your Little gets everything he/she can from the match

3. To ensure you're feeling valued and supported in the match
How often is monitoring?
By Survey/Email:
Mid way through the match (Week 4)
end of the match (Week 12)
By Phone:
A few weeks after your mid-mentoring survey (Week 7)
Will have given consent for youth to participate in match, but will not have any other involvement.
will talk and meet with you regularly
In fact, the match will not be able to continue without regular communication.
What role do the program staff play?
Why/when would you contact them?
Obtain support

If your mentee stops communicating with you

Address questions/concerns
You could contact program staff to:
1. getting to know each other
2. spending time together
3. honouring the commitment
4. ending or closing the match
4 stages of a match
Start slow. Don't push.
Set a goal together.
Some goals are achieved, some aren't.
Either way, you'll both learn something.
Research Study
"What works for you in mentoring relationships?"
Plan to Play Safe!
You will be in charge of deciding message content, but look to Guardian/School/Program staff as a resource
Is your Little motivated?
Think about development and skill level
Has your mentee shown interest in the topic?
Please do NOT share your phone number, personal address, email address, phone number, workplace information
You CANNOT communicate outside the DCM Platform.
You CANNOT talk on social media, share Facebook or Twitter handles, or speak via phone, text message or in person.
You are allowed to share photos, but please ensure that your mentee is comfortable and you have asked their permission before you share anything. Also ensure photos are appropriate for your role as a mentor.
1. Getting to Know Each Other
2. Spending Time Together
3. Honouring the Commitment
You and your mentee have committed to spending some time together on a regular basis. It’s important that you
you’re extra busy or there are bumps in the relationship.
We encourage you to , as we will, about the fact that sometimes friendships feel great and sometimes there are bumps in the road.
keep that commitment even when
talk with your mentee
with you about what they enjoy – or don’t enjoy – in your conversations online. If you need suggestions, talk with your program staff.
Encourage them to talk
4. Ending/Closing the Match

Formal match closure
= speaking with Program Staff

Match closures are pivotal as the young person transitions to their next phase in life.

At the End of the Semester, the match will close.
Make sure to celebrate the accomplishments !

Spending time to close the match in a positive way is essential and is empowering for your mentee.
We have said that mentees are the most important people in the match...
As you progress in your
mentoring relationship,
keep in mind
your expectations.
Is being a mentor what you expected?
What happens when there are bumps in the road?
How do you think the friendship will evolve?
When your match closes, what do you want to leave your mentee with?
How will you know your efforts have been a success?
In order to build a lasting, positive mentoring relationship (as with any valued social relationship), exploring questions like these can help shape the relationship in meaningful and positive ways. Ignoring the questions can result in unnecessary disappointment and, possibly, early match closure
Do you celebrate your successes?
If matches close without any process:

the young person is often left wondering why
they may blame themselves for the match ending.

Healthy Relationships


Voices and Choices

Communication and Listening Skills

Mentor ("Big")
Program Staff (and/or School Staff)
Mentee ("Little")
obtain support to ensure a healthy, successful match;
talk about match activities and accomplishments;
address any questions or concerns you may have;
gather feedback on how your mentee is feeling, if they don’t share this with you;
obtain clarification on program rules;
obtain helpful information, such as resources you may be interested in;
obtain information on agency activities; and/or
chat about effective adult-child communication, etc.
You could contact program staff to:
It's important that relationships amongst all match participants are healthy.
This is best achieved through...
and you guessed it...
What are key components of a healthy relationship?
Some Key Components of a
Healthy Relationship include...
Program Staff talk with the mentees
about .

With all mentees , we reinforce that :
Healthy Relationships thrive on self-respect and respect of others
Part of respect is showing consideration for each others choices and decisions.
voice and choice
It's Important for YOU to exercise Your Voice and Choice too!
Trust your instincts.

Healthy relationships thrive on self-respect and respect of others.

Respect = showing consideration for other’s choices and decisions.

Strong, open communication is important. Share with your mentee’s parent/guardian/School the positive aspects of your friendship, and let them know if you have questions or concerns.

Your program staff is always there to listen
Communication is key; however, that’s sometimes easier said than done – young people aren’t always chatty!
Let’s work together to come up with some
tips to get the conversation going
Communication Activity
Pair up and sit back to back with your partner
What is a ?
1. What is a Boundary?
All match participants will set boundaries that must be respected.

Talk with your mentee about their Circle of Support, and be alert to secrets and risky behaviour.


Duty of Care
. As adults, we have a duty to report abuse if it is disclosed to us or if we have reason to suspect abuse.

Circle of Support:
Foundations for Friendships and Safety
There are, unfortunately, adults and teenagers who offend against young people.
We tell youth that often, boundaries are broken gradually.
Young persons victimized:
Likely (approx 78%) that victim and offender know each other
"Grooming" or Boundary Breaking Behaviours to watch for:
While these behaviours do not necessarily indicate someone is trying to offend against a young person, they should be considered inappropriate.
In a match relationship, consistently breaking or stretching agency policies
boundary-breaking behaviour.

Rules are there for very good reasons, and rarely should exceptions be made.
(regardless of good intentions)
What are some boundary-breaking examples you can think of?
Maintain dialogue
Respect Boundaries
Circle of Support
what we tell our Littles:
Many adults and teenagers in your life know and care about you, want you to be safe and happy, and will help you if you need them.
How might you talk to your Mentee
about his/her Circle of Support?
Empowering young people
ensuring they believe in themselves
helping them realize their potential
Duty of Care, Types of Abuse, Disclosure and Discovery
Young people have the right to be safe and to have healthy relationships. It's an adult’s job to protect children, and they know that most adults are happy to play that role.

• All non-profit organizations, even those staffed by volunteers, have a duty to prevent the maltreatment of children and youth while they are participating in their programs. The first step to prevention of abuse is to understand what forms it can take.
Duty of care
is a legal concept, and it defines when a person or institution is obligated to protect others from harm.

At Big Brothers Big Sisters, we take our duty of care commitment very seriously.

A child is someone who needs protection, as defined by provincial or territorial child protection legislation. I
Duty of Care
Types of Abuse
1. Physical
can be blatantly aggressive (e.g., hitting, shaking, kicking, etc.), or it can be less obvious (e.g., bumping, pinching, squeezing, etc.)
2. Emotional
3. Sexual
4. Neglect
5. Bullying
more subtle than physical abuse, and it often involves a recurring pattern of behaviour toward a child that affects his or her emotional development (i.e., self-esteem and self-worth) in a negative way (e.g., verbal threats, social isolation, put-downs, etc.).
constitutes any form of sexualized interaction between an adult and a child (e.g., touching private parts, oral sex, etc.), and it does not necessarily involve actual contact (e.g., indecent exposure, viewing of pornographic materials, etc.).
when a child's caregiver consistently fails to meet the child's basic needs (e.g., food, shelter, protection, access to medical care, etc.).
defined as "repeated aggression in which there is an imbalance of power between the child who bullies and the child who is victimized" (PREVNet; www.prevnet.ca).

It takes different forms at different ages, including physical, verbal, social, racial, religious, sexual, disability, and electronic or cyber bullying.
Disclosure and Discovery
The disclosure or discovery may be communicated accidentally or purposefully:
It's not easy for a child to disclose abuse that they've suffered, and only a minority of children and youth are able to do it.
Responding to a disclosure or discovery of abuse is a delicate situation that requires great sensitivity. If a child were to disclose abuse or unsafe behaviour to you, experts recommend you:
listen carefully;
control your reaction;
never communicate blame;
praise the child for telling.
Tell the child:
don’t blame yourself;
trust yourself & your feelings;
try to get comfortable so you can share the information with a trusted adult.
Tips for responding
Disclosures can be challenging and upsetting, especially if you're close to the young person and/or if you know the alleged perpetrator.
Remember these Key Points
Reporting abuse or suspected abuse can seem intimidating.
The safety of the child or youth must be the primary concern.
Even if you’re not a professional, you can trust your intuition.
If you have reasonable grounds to suspect abuse, you must report your concerns.
Whether or not you’re a professional, you are legally obligated to report abuse or suspected abuse.
You don’t need to determine the seriousness, frequency, or extent of the alleged abuse. In fact, it is not your role to ask probing questions. That is the role of the professionals at your provincial child protection agency, who are equipped to assess and act, as appropriate.
Some people think reporting will make it worse for the young person. In order for abuse to stop and healing to begin, reporting is critical.
The provinces and territories that have child abuse reporting legislation provide immunity to those who report suspected child or youth abuse or neglect in good faith. At the same time, there are substantial penalties for those who purposely make false reports.
Abuse is significantly under-reported.
Young people are resilient. They possess a number of protective factors that help empower them to move from victim to survivor to "thriver".
As community members, it is our obligation to report abuse or suspected abuse. It is equally imperative that we do all we can to PREVENT abuse. Think back to our discussions on boundaries, voice and choice, and healthy relationships. That is our focus.
1. As a volunteer mentor, where can you check the laws regarding child abuse and neglect?

at your Big Brothers Big Sisters agency
provincial legislation
federal legislation
all of the above
1. As a volunteer mentor, where can you check the laws regarding child abuse and neglect?

all of the above (at your Big Brothers Big Sisters agency, provincial legislation, and federal legislation)
2. Who is legally obligated to report abuse or suspected abuse?

social workers, psychologists, and others who work with children and have reasonable grounds for suspicion
only medical professionals who have reasonable grounds for suspicion
any person who has reasonable grounds for suspicion
only a and b
2. Who is legally obligated to report abuse or suspected abuse?

any person who has reasonable grounds for suspicion
3. By law, you must ensure a report of abuse and/or neglect is made when:

you suspect a child is being abused or neglected
you suspect a child is at risk of being abused or neglected
a colleague/volunteer tells you they suspect a child is being abused or neglected
all of the above
3. By law, you must ensure a report of abuse and/or neglect is made when:

all of the above (you suspect a child is being abused or neglected, OR you suspect a child is at risk of being abused or neglected, OR a colleague/volunteer tells you they suspect a child is being abused or neglected)
4. If a child discloses abuse to you, to whom should you report?

your local child protection agency and the person named in your Big Brothers Big Sisters agency child protection policy
the child’s parents
any colleague who also interacts with the child
both a and b
If a child discloses abuse to you, to whom should you report?

your local child protection agency and the person named in your Big Brothers Big Sisters agency child protection policy
You can trust your instincts.
Healthy relationships thrive on self-respect and respect of others.
Part of respect is showing consideration for each other’s choices and decisions.
Strong, open communication is important. Share with your mentee’s parent/guardian the positive aspects of your friendship, and let them know if you have questions or concerns.
Your program staff is always there to listen.
Let's Review Our Key Messages
All match participants will set boundaries, which must be respected.
Talk with your mentee about their Circle of Support, and be alert to secrets and risky behaviour.
As adults, we have a duty to report abuse if it is disclosed to us or if we have reason to suspect abuse.
We’re here for you throughout your match.
Be Strong from the Start!
Safe, healthy relationships pave the way for strong, supportive matches.
It is important for all match participants to exercise their voice and choice.
Communication with young people can be challenging, yet it is very important.

You’re committing to regular match meetings for a significant period of time.
The essential members of the match are you, your mentee, program staff and the school liaison.
Matches have a beginning, middle, and end: each stage is equally important.
Gather feedback on how your mentee is feeling

Setting and Respecting boundaries

Obtain clarification on program rules

Match Accomplishments

Discuss effective adult-child communication
Praise their accomplishments.
Talk with program staff.
“Engaging Youth in Mentoring Relationships and Programs”, April 2012, Education Northwest/National Mentoring Center; Mentor Michigan; Mentoring Partnership of Minnesota"
Occasionally a match ends earlier than planned. For example, your mentee may move schools.
Talk with Program Staff!
When you’re uncertain, or when the going gets tough, please talk with your program staff – they’re match support specialists.
Even if you are busy, make time to talk with your mentee.
Try asking open ended questions .
Listen between the lines.
Ask about simple things, as well as important issues (segue into bigger topics)
Give them adequate time to express themselves.
Remember: Write in a positive tone, try to avoid sarcasm as you never know how it may be perceived in the messages
And Laugh!
(A key research finding)
we emphasize that it's not always easy, but it's important (for adults and youth) to exercise their
voice and choice
to prevent something uncomfortable from happening.

According to Statistics Canada, 59% of all victims of sexual abuse reported to police in 2009 were children under the age of 18 years
In order to protect children, it is important for us to talk about abuse, how it happens, and how to recognize behaviour that may signal that a child is in distress.
It is also important to talk about our duty to report abuse or suspected abuse.
As adults, if we talk with young people about personal safety, remaining aware and vigilant, and keeping lines of communication open, we’re going a long way to ensuring safe, healthy communities.
Good chance "grooming" has taken place and gradual boundary breaking
Grooming usually begins with subtle behaviors that do not appear inappropriate.
Offender begins by gaining the trust of adults around the youth
Offender may confuse the youth into thinking they’re responsible
Offender discourages the young person from telling anyone and manipulate the child into being cooperative
over-interest in the child
gives special privileges, compliments, or gifts to the young person, (beyond what seems reasonable)
creates opportunities to be around beyond their role
uses overly harsh or punitive methods with the child
makes false promises
cites emergencies to justify boundaries being broken (e.g., "We couldn’t get home in time because … ")
displays age and gender preferences.
Sharing information via social media.
Giving gifts.
Breaking agency policies
Discussing an age-inappropriate movie.
Discussing alcohol and smoking in mentee’s presence.
Asking mentee or parent/guardian to keep information from the agency.
Pushing conflicting values.
Having conversations about the following topics without the presence of a learning opportunity:
sex or sexual relationships;
drug use;
alcohol use.
Sharing inappropriate photos with the mentee.
Young people have the right to be safe (laws say that & it's an adult’s job to keep you safe)
When something happens to you, it can be hard and uncomfortable to tell someone. Sometimes you feel:
- ashamed (but its NEVER your fault)
- scared
- not listened to or believed
- are a good person
- have the right to be safe
- should not be made to do things that make you feel uncomfortable
- are strong and capable
- are good and lovable and talented
Verbal or purposeful disclosures: an individual decides to tell someone about his or her abuse.
Non-verbal disclosures: an individual accidentally reveals the maltreatment through behaviour or other external circumstances (e.g., being constantly watchful; unexplained injuries, burns, or bites; fear of physical contact, etc.).
When they are able to disclose, it's a process:
It can often be tentative, involving some telling and then retracting (children and youth may retract their disclosure for many reasons).
It can also be partial or full, and it can occur over a period of time.
Most disclosures are delayed, taking the child an average of three to 18 years to tell someone about what happened to them.
In 2013, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Canada turned 100 years old!
Thanks for being a part of that with us!
Big <-> Little
Little <-> Program Staff
Guardian <-> Program Staff
Big <-> Guardian/or School
Big <-> Program Staff
Mentors engage youth when they:
Each match will have a...
However, YOU are also very important!!
Why would we talk about boundaries, abuse, and disclosure and discovery?
quick smiles
Great Expectations!
A good mentor will foster personal growth and will teach a young person how to take action with that personal growth.
It is imperative, for the well-being of your mentee,
that you take time to work with your program staff
on a positive closure that celebrates
the accomplishments.
For a match relationship to be strong and successful, you BOTH need to feel good about the match.
You need to believe in the value and impact of what you are doing
Communication Activity
As a mentor you play a very important role in a young person's life
Together, we'll ensure you're part of a safe, healthy, and enjoyable match.
Agency Guidelines!
General guidelines when communicating with your mentee:
Whether you are matched for 6 months or 6 years,
What does a Match Closure mean?
Lets discuss...
As their mentor, you're an important role model. Keep these healthy relationship attributes in mind when you're with your mentee and when you're talking with them about their relationship with their peers, family, and friends.
Try to hear and respond to the feelings behind the words they are using
This should keep the youth from just answering Yes or No and help facilitate a conversation
It may take them a while to say something, but what they come up with may surprise you!
("what was your favourite part of the movie?")
One little said: "I love having at least one laugh attack a day!"
In this section, we highlight strategies to keep the young people secure and safe in their match. A core topic for the young people and for you is Boundaries. Throughout your match we will ask you frequently about boundaries.
It is the gradual breaking down of boundaries that can lead to unsafe relationships

We talk with mentees about how a boundary is a line that defines something (e.g., the side of a soccer/football field), and we let them know that we have personal boundaries, too, which have to be respected.
We want to makes sure that your mentee is engaged in healthy friendships and not controlling relationships.
To further support your mentee's safety in the match and in their community, we encourage you to reinforce the following points with them:
You are here for:
The stronger, more resilient your mentee is, the more likely he or she is to make healthy decisions.
As you support their voice and choice, and emphasize their Circle of Support, you're encouraging their positive outlook and progress.
You may not always get positive feedback - in fact, you may rarely get it. Don't despair! If you're approaching the relationship in a positive and healthy way, you're making a difference!
Lets take a moment and list some forms of abuse that you are aware of
In order for us to detect abuse, there must be some type of disclosure and discovery
Agency Terminology
School Liaison
School Staff
Agency Staff:
Admin / Program Manager )
Reinforce the following with your Little
We all have

boundaries, and people must understand and respect our boundaries.
Respecting yourself is as important as respecting other people.
Whether it is a relationship with an adult, peer, or teen, it is important to
Set your boundaries
If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t right!
If you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, unsure or scared, Talk with a trusted adult (Circle of Support)
Have the right blend of purposefulness and personal connection
give the youth voice and choice
have consistent interaction
provide opportunities to contribute to the world around them.
Youth said they engage with Mentors when you...
spend time talking with us
listen, don't multi-task or get distracted
respond to our email, voice, text messages (within reason)
do what you say you're going to do
show appreciation for what we do
relax, don't feel you have to be on your guard
laugh with us
attend our concerts/games
show you have confidence in us
teach us what you know
push us to do our best
Things to remember about your match:
1. The mentoring friendship is characterized by consistency and closeness and designed to last a minimum period of time
2. You will encourage your mentee to try new things, broaden their horizons and add a new skill set
3. You will write messages at least once a week
5. Active conversations are crucial to building relations and ensuring a positive outcomes
4. Your mentee's teacher and program staff will be able to read all messages
6. Your Little will have a voice and choice in deciding how to spend time with you
7. Decision making will be shared
With children we explore the necessary components of a healthy relationship
We ask them "What makes a good friend?"
We help illustrate to them what a healthy relationship looks, sounds, and feels like, and we hope you will do the same.
Let's highlight what you've learned!
Why do we talk about closing a match before it has even started?
The DreamCatcher Mentoring Program is an innovative e-mentoring and leadership program that connects high school students with Canadian Mentors just like you ! We are excited that you have chosen to join the program !
Try asking questions about their interests first not necessarily about career choices
Full transcript