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Healthy Relationships Speed Dating

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by

Lauren Donais

on 6 January 2014

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Transcript of Healthy Relationships Speed Dating

The Rules
Pick partners you have not met before today

Remember:
Everyone is different! Be respectful of one another's opinions

Stay on topic

Have fun!
How It Works
Healthy Relationships
'Speed Friending'
Relation.. Whats?
How do
you
define a relationship?

Try to name
3
different types of relationships you have with someone else

What relationships are
most important
in your life?

Healthy vs. Unhealthy
What are some characteristics of a
healthy
relationship?

What are some
red flags
for abusive/unhealthy relationships?
Your relationship is healthy if...
You trust your partner or friend.
You accept each other's opinions and interests.
You each feel physically safe in the relationship.
Your partner likes your friends and encourages you to spend time with them and wants to include them in his/her life as well as yours.
You make important decisions together.
Your partner or friend likes you just the way you are.
You are not afraid to say what you think and why you think that way. You like to hear how your partner or friend thinks, and don't always have to agree.
You and your partner have both a friendship and a physical attraction.
Your partner doesn't force sexual activity or insist that you do something that makes you uncomfortable.
University of Connecticut
Residential Life
&
Violence Against Women Prevention Program (VAWPP)
At the beginning of each session you will find a
new
person to talk to

You and your new friend will have 2 minutes to discuss each topic/question

After each topic/question we will reconvene as a group for further discussion
Red Flags for Abusive Relationships
What do you know about
Consent Defined
Things to Remember About Consent:
Consent
cannot
be given if you or your partner/s are incapacitated by alcohol or drugs.

Silence or the absence of a
"no"
does not mean
"yes."

Consent can be taken away at any time

Active, verbal communication is the best way to ensure that you have consent
and how do you define it?
CONSENT
How do you know when a relationship is
it
Switch
What's the
best
way to break up with someone?
OVER?
Up!
it
Switch
Up!
it
Switch
Up!
Can jealousy be flattering?
Up!
it
Switch
it
So...uh...then what?
What are some
healthy
things you can do to help yourself get over a break up?

What are some
not so healthy
things
we often see people do to help cope with a breakup?
Healthy
Allow yourself to cry it out!
Keep busy with school, work and/or exercise
Surround yourself with positive people who can make you laugh
Go out with friends
Leisure read or watch movies/television (in moderation) that will help take your mind off of the breakup.




Unhealthy
Drowning your sorrows with too much to drink
Constantly contacting your ex
Blaming yourself
Isolating yourself

Maintaining a
Healthy
Relationship
Counseling & Mental Health Services
860.486.4705

Student Health Services
860.486.4837

Office of Student Services and Advocacy
860.486.3426

University Police
860.486.4800 or 911

Department of Residential Life
860.486.3430

Women's Center/Violence Against Women Prevention Program (VAWPP)
860.486.4738

United Services Domestic Violence Program
Willimantic Office:
860.456.9476
State-Wide Hotline:
1.888.774.2900



Question relationships with partners who:
Are physically rough with you (push, shove, pull, yank, squeeze, restrain).
Try to isolate you and control whom you see or where you go.
Don't listen to you or show interest in your opinions or feelings.
Ignore you, give you the silent treatment, or hang up on you.
Blame you for how they treat you, or for anything bad that happens.
Accuse you of flirting with others and cheating on them.
Coerce you in to doing things you don't want to do.
Pressure you to be sexual when you don't want to be.
If your partner abuses alcohol and/or other drugs.
Do you feel as though jealousy has a place in your relationships?
When might it be too much?
Share 3 of your greatest strengths in your current relationships with family, friends and/or partners
Optional: Share something you'd like to refine in your current relationships
Relationships aren't perfect...
What are the do's and don'ts when trying to resolve conflict?
Consent is an understandable exchange of affirmative words or actions, which indicate a willingness to participate in mutually agreed upon sexual activity.
Consent must be informed, freely and actively given.
It is the responsibility of the initiator to obtain clear and affirmative responses at each stage of sexual involvement.
The lack of a negative response is not consent.
An individual who is incapacitated by alcohol and/or other drugs both voluntarily or involuntarily consumed may not give consent.
Past consent of sexual activity does not imply ongoing future consent.
Circle Up
Circle up
Circle up
Blurred Lines
Know someone in an unhealthy relationship? You can help!
Say something. Lend a listening ear.
Tell your friend that you care and are willing to listen. Don't force the issue, but allow your friend to confide in you at her/his own pace. Never blame your friend for what is happening or underestimate her/his fear of potential danger. Focus on supporting your friend's right to make her/his own decisions.
If your friend decides to end the relationship...
Help her/him make a plan to be safe. S/he may want to call the Women's Center or the local domestic violence program/hotline to help create a "safety plan." Either one can help her/him look at her/his options and make a plan to be as safe as possible. Victims of dating violence may face the greater risk when they try to end the abusive relationship. If the abusive person feels s/he has lost control, s/he may become
v
ery dangerous.
Focus on her/his strengths
Your friend has probably continually been told by the abusive person that s/he is a bad person, a bad partner, and/or a bad friend. Your friend may believe s/he can't do anything right and that there really is something wrong with her/him. Give her/him emotional support. Help her/him examine her/his strengths and skills. Emphasize that s/he deserves a life that is free from violence of any kind.
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