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Individual Project - Interpersonal Communications
Transcript of Individual Project - Interpersonal Communications
Interpersonal Communication 2) Self Concept 3) Emotion
4) Person Perception 5) Nonverbal
7) The Relational Context Communication development is a
"As long as we are alive, we are changing.
We learn new patterns of communication
and discard others as we grow."
There is nothing constant in life but change.
In the same way that our physical bodies are
constantly developing, our communication
skills are constantly developing. The Presentation of Self
Face is the self we want to present in an interaction. There are three elements that affect our success in communicating face:
1. The role we want to enact
2. The audience we are presenting to
3. Our skill at communicating the face we wish to present.
Face work is an ongoing process.
pg. 45 Forgiveness opens the door
for emotional healing.
Forgiveness is a decision.
Forgiveness is a process.
Forgiveness is not forgetting but it is no longer punishing the other person for what they did.
Forgiveness is not always easy.
There is freedom in forgiveness.
pg 72 8) The Cultural
Context 9) Developing Emotional
Competence 10) Developing Conflict
11) Developing Relationships
Outside the Family 12) Intimate Relationships for
Adolescents and Young Adults I have many different roles to which I maintain face.
Wife, mother and friend to my family Friend and encourager Daughter and sister Pastor and friend One of the major obstacles in person perception is stereotyping. We form snap judgments of individuals before we get to know them. Stereotyping can take a strong hold on the way we think about a person or individual and it is very hard to break free from that judgment. In reality there are many times that our perception of a person is distorted. The more we learn to know an individual the less we will rely on the preconceived opinions that we have about the individual or the group of individuals that we associate them with.
Keep in mind the old saying:
"You can't judge a book by
it's cover." Styles of Conflict Management
Three important points:
"No one style is automatically
better than any other style."
"Styles are learned, not natural."
"Styles can change." pg. 258
1. Withdrawal/avoidance - presses both parties to withdraw from the issues and avoid interaction.
2. Accommodation/smoothing - requires on person to give in.
3. Competing/forcing - involves one person provoking the other person to give in.
4. Compromising - involves bargaining or trading.
5. Collaborating/problem-solving - both parties meeting their needs without feeling they have given up anything. pg. 260-261
Developing conflict management skills is a normal
part of development and growing up.
Developing communication skills
helps us to manage conflict
in our relationships.
pg. 238 Emotional competence allows me
to respond appropriately to a situation, to persons of a different culture and to the personal needs of an individual.
Four Principles of
Requires emotional awareness
Emotional perspective taking is the root of empathy
Requires cultural sensitivity
Requires strategic expression
pg. 219-226 VIVA MEXICO!!!
My experience of living in Mexico
and learning a new culture gave me a better
understanding of myself and U.S. culture.
This cultural understanding and awareness
helps me to communicate more effectively
with persons of another culture.
Non-verbal communication is an important aspect
of our communication, especially when communicating with a person from another cultural. We need to be particularly aware of cultural influences and differences in our non-verbal communication. Person perceptions are greatly influenced by our non-verbal communication.
It is important to be aware of:
~ physical appearance
~ personal space, gaze and touch
~ facial expression
pg. 193-198 Expectations for Involvement
I want to be aware of my involvement
as I am conversing with another person.
I want to pay attention to:
giving focused interaction
what is my main involvement?
am I being distracted by: preoccupation with external affairs,
self-consciousness, other consciousness
The person I am communicating with
deserves my undivided attention. To
insure that I am properly involved I can:
ignore my cell phone, close the book I
am reading, turn off the radio or
iPod, maintain eye contact.
pg. 177-178 My two strongest conflict management styles are withdrawal/avoidance
and accommodation/smoothing. When facing a conflict I often use strategic avoidance, I then gather information and then return to the person using collaborating/problem-solving to resolve the conflict. As I continue to develop my conflict management skills, I want to practice collaborating/problem solving so this style becomes my dominant conflict management style. Emotional competence is extremely important as I relate to people as a pastor. I need to be able to accurately decode the emotional expressions of others and have empathy as I try to understand how
they are feeling in a given situation. As our church grows
in diversity I want to have cultural sensitivity. As I face
the challenges of being a leader it is important that I
regulate my emotional expressions. Language is a body of words and system that allows people from the same geographical location or cultural tradition to communicate intelligibly with each other.
Three important points I want to keep in mind in my communication:
Language alters the way we see ourselves and the way others see us.
Language communicates our identity.
Language affects the speakers ability to influence others pg. 155-156 صديق صديق amigo mik prijatelj kaibigan venn draugas friend teman barat freund In this chapter, I discovered the term 'powerless speech.' Reading over the examples, made me aware of the fact that I often use this type of speech. In my position as a pastor, I see how this type of speech can have an adverse affect on my ability to influence others and how avoiding powerless speech helps me to come across as competent and dynamic. Non-verbal communication
includes body language as well as unspoken understandings and presuppositions, and cultural and environmental conditions that may affect any encounter between people.
Four non-verbal indicators or signals that give a good indication to my commitment or involvement in a conversation are:
pg. 127 dictionary.com.reference When I was growing up, we used to tease my mother that she had the "Anna look." We started to say that because my mother often had a serious look on her face that reminded us of my great aunt Anna. Apparently I have inherited the family trait. Many people that don't know me well often comment that I am a very serious person. I have come to the conclusion it is because when I am concentrating on a task or busy doing something, I get a serious and determined look on my face. People often interpret this non-verbal to mean that I am mad. When I realized that I was coming across to people as serious or mad, I made a conscious effort to have a pleasant look on my face because I don't want to have the "Anna look." On occasion, I still catch myself with my lips pursed and my brow tight. When I do, I take a few deep breaths, relax my face and smile. I love to watch people and analyze who they are, but in doing so, I have noticed that I am quick to stereotype. My conclusion of who a person is often comes out of past experiences and is heavily influenced by the media. Our text encourages us to 'downplay first impressions and check the accuracy of our perceptions.' I strive to appreciate people for who they are and to better understand people as individuals rather than putting them in a box. After my parent's marriage fell apart, I struggled for a long time with anger and unforgiveness. Unforgiveness robbed me of my joy and affected my relationships but I was determined to punish my parents for turning my world upside down. By God's grace, I was able to come to the point of forgiveness which allowed healing to begin. Sometimes forgiveness was a daily decision and it was definitely a process. This experience, as painful as it was, taught me about the power that unforgiveness can have over your life. Occasionally unforgiveness attempts to take root in my heart but now, I am quick to recognize it and work towards forgiveness. For me forgiveness equals freedom. Self-Disclosure:
A Critical Communication Behavior
"Self-disclosure is one of the most important, if not the most important, communication behaviors in relational development." Self-disclosure is what an individual chooses to verbally reveal to another person about himself or herself. As information is shared, intimacy grows between the individuals and the relationship is strengthened. Self-disclosure is a way of learning about what another person thinks or feels and opens oneself up to risk and vulnerability in the relationship. Self-disclosure can be helpful in clarifying ones identity and can be helpful in relieving distress when talking about problems. As a leader in a church, I often struggle with finding the appropriate balance of self-disclosure with members of our congregation. I want to share enough of myself and my life so that people know that I am a real person with real struggles, questions and disappointment but I don't want my entire life and the life of my family opened up to critique and criticism. I have been hurt several times by opening up and sharing something personal with and individual because I felt it would be helpful in building a relationship with them only to have the piece of myself that I shared used against me. There are times that I feel like I need to take a risk in a relationship and share and other times that I will intentionally hold back. This is a tension that I continually seek to balance. This video of the twins chatting with each other in rather lively conversation is a beautiful example of communication in the beginning stages of development. One can only guess what they were talking so passionately about with one another. Maybe they are our future politicians or preachers.
It has been a joy for me to watch my daughters develop in all areas of life but especially in communication. As they began to talk, their personalities also began emerging. Among the most cherished moments of my life is hearing them say, "I love you" for the first time. We have tried to instill in our daughters the power that words hold; we have the power to speak words that give life or words that tear down. Now that they are teenagers, it is gratifying to see them interact with their peers and choosing to be people that are quick to speak words of encouragement and hope. The Nature of Friendship
Friendship is voluntary. Unlike our family members, we have the opportunity to choose who we want to be friends with. Many times a friendship will develop around common interests, experiences and stages of life.
'Friendship means different things at different stages of our lives. However, the importance of friendship remains with us through our lives. Friendship is important to our physical and emotional well-being; indeed, we suffer without friends.' pg. 290 We were made for friendship.
Throughout my lifetime, I have come to appreciate true friendship. As I think about the friends that I have had since elementary school, I see them as true friends. Our friendship has spanned more than a quarter of a century and even though life has taken us to different places, we are still close friends. I have said often and I will say it again, "We are so thankful to have family that are friends." One can not choose your family members but I am thankful that we have family members that are truly our friends and that is a treasure. We have a blast when we are together! The other true friendship and most treasured friendship that I have is with my husband. When we got married, I could only imagine what it would be like to be so deeply in love with someone that it feels like you are one. Over the years, this has happened and our souls have become so deeply entwined that I cannot imagine life without him.
Years ago, I came across this song by Michael W. Smith about friends that continues to be meaningful to me today:
Friends are friends forever and a friend will not say never because the welcome will not end.
A lifetime is not too long to live as friends! Reference:
Jones, T.S., Remland, M.S., Sanford, R. (2007). Interpersonal Communication Through The Life Span.: Houghton Mifflin Company