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friendship values and problems

Peta-anne Burns

on 24 August 2016

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Transcript of Friendship

Having good friends
is really important
to your happiness
Today we will discuss:
* Importance of friendship
* Characteristics of a good friend
* Healthy vs unhealthy friendships
* What to do when friendship goes wrong & things get nasty
What is a friend?
What qualities and Characteristics
should a good friend have?
Not all friendships are healthy!
Why are these friendships toxic?
Any relationship that makes you feel sad, scared or unhappy with yourself, or cuts you off from other people is not good for your emotional wellbeing and growth.
You do not need to be friends with everyone, but treating others with kindness and tolerance is the sign of maturity.
It says more about your character if you avoid or interact with them minimally, than if you go out of your way to be nasty and hurtful.

A person who you know, like and trust
Circle five qualities you value in your friends.
It's very easy to get caught up in a
negative cycle
when you don't like someone or you've had an argument.

Sometimes, this can go online, and you end up involved with trolling, hatemailing or flaming.

Haters gonna hate
Why do these negative interactions thrive?
Why does it affect us emotionally?
So how do we stop it?
what about When friendship goes wrong?

If it feels like your friends are actively trying to



you, it definitely might be something a bit more

If your friends go out of their way to make you feel bad you might actually be getting

Being bullied by former friends can be more painful than by someone who you have never gotten along with.

Why do you think this might be?
What if your friends:

* don’t seem to notice you or seem distracted
* find excuses to not hang out anymore
Lay off the
keyboard wars,
learn to use the
block function
both in cyberspace and IRL, and choose to be with people who make you
feel good
about being you.

A frenemy:
* boosts their own ego by putting you down or gives you backhanded compliments
* gossips about you
* is competitive over petty things
* manipulates you and others
* is not able to enjoy your good fortune

Frenmeshment occurs when you and your friend:
* have the same opinion on everything, whether it fits your personal values or not
* feel sick and anxious when apart
* smother each other, spending a lot of time together to the exclusion of everyone else
* have no secrets
* are jealous and possessive of each other

This behaviour can be very hurtful, and sometimes it's hard to approach your friend to talk about it, but that is the sensible thing to try and do.
You may find that there are good reasons for this behaviour, or that your friend wasn't aware of the impact it was having on you.
Pete Burns
Child and Youth
Mental Health
Often when it has turned nasty, it's hard to talk to your former friend, especially when they are being hurtful.
It can also be confusing and upsetting if you don't know what you did to deserve the way they are treating you.
Sometimes you may need to accept that the friendship has run its course, and move on, especially if you feel threatened and upset by them.
Full transcript