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Choices - Day 5 Conscious Discipline

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Lori Allen

on 1 November 2017

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Transcript of Choices - Day 5 Conscious Discipline

Giving your power away sets you up to blame
Re-Write these statements:

When you are quiet, I will begin the story.

Don't make me close the block area!

You are driving me crazy!

Look how you made your friend feel.

Time to Line up, OK?
The Skill of Choice
1. Accept what is and focus on solutions
2. Resist what is and focus on the problems
Giving two positive choices
1. Breathe - what do you want him to do?
2. Offer two positive choices
3. Resistance? Stay calm and restate
4. Ask for commitment
5. Notice child doing it

Power comes from choice - not force
Power of Free Will
Children who have trouble making choices
1. Those who refuse to make a choice.
As you prepare to help children notice what helpful looks like, journal what changes occurred.

What worked? What didn't?

Begin reading Chapter 8 - EMPATHY starting on p. 218
Choices - Building Self Esteem and Willpower
Structure vs. Control
Control = to ______ someone else think, act, or feel a certain way

Structure = to ______ someone be successful
Activity to Practice the Skill of Choices
Picture Rule Cards
Provide children with visual images of helpful choices

day 5
How to help students build their self esteem by offering them two positive choices
Ways to help students re-frame blame and take responsibility for their actions
Choices motivate from within, improve goal-achievement and facilitate self-regulation
Attempt to Make Others Change
Feel Frustrated and Blame Other Person
Feel Powerless
Blame and Attack
other person
doesn't change
other person is
"making" me mad
other person is
in charge of my
inner state
feel guilty
When caught in this cycle, we unconsciously teach children :



Permissiveness always
to blame others for their distress
revenge is a viable problem solving tool
follows guilt
The only person you can make change is yourself!
Ask yourself, "How do I help the child be more likely to choose to_______," rather than "How can I get the child to _______."
A Positive and a negative option is manipulation.

A child will be more likely to cooperate with two positive choices.
2. Those who resist the structure given. (choose C)
3. Those who change their minds (switch back/forth)
4. Those who developmentally do not understand what a choice is.
Ask a Different Question - Change Your Intent
Choices build self-esteem and willpower"
Power comes from choice, not force!
*pg. 198
Reframe the Blame
Focus must be on the solutions and problem solving
Change "don't make me" to I'm going to" in order to reclaim your power.
Who is the boss of you?
Fear of punishment often results in blaming. The focus must be on solutions and problem solving.


"Ernie made me do it" "So Ernie is the boss of you?"
"No!" "What could you do now that is helpful if you are the boss of you?

"Yes!" " That must really be hard for you"
*pg. 204
p. 207-214 Divide and conquer! form four groups
In this session, you will learn...
What would you say? (discuss with your table)

Child resists cleaning up his/her workspace

Child continually talks while you are reading a book to the class?

The children are noisy while walking line through the hall
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