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SoundOfSilenceWS

the Workshop prezi for the Sound of Silence , presentted at #ATBRU. #CognitivePsychology
by

Luc Taesch

on 27 September 2013

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Transcript of SoundOfSilenceWS

watch the space between objects     
watch the space between thoughts

advanced :     

- the knowledge worker ( systems design, product design )     
- spent most of its time thinking about a yet unexisting  futur,     
- which is uncertain and changing ,     
- out of his personal influence realm…

now wait a minute:

- emotional risk    
  - uncertannity     
- exposure     
- is not weakness     
- birthplace of innovation, creativity, courage..     
- shame and culturally learned archetypes:          
- male : don't be perceived as weak          
- female: do everything perfectly

vulnerability:     

   - when you are 2 : cool, I want more: playing     
- when you are 20 … hmm    
  - when you are 40 : scary

- how do you feel when you do something for the first time, ever.   

Experience :  difference Emotions, feeling vs sensation: -    
  put a finger in hot water : where of the feel the sensation ?
the emotion beforehand ? emotions when facing the unknown:     

Part 1 Bis :this is about what we know. what about when we don't ?:

     - we are educated to live in in the S and C zone   
   - we make sense in the A zone.   
   - novelties, innovation, creativity pops out of the N zone  
    - sensmaking : N->A->C->S     
- but  -
how do you feel when you do something for the first time, ever. ?

the scan framework: SCAN:(aka cynefin):

    the assumptions being :   
   Our model of the world is reality,   
   We are aware of what we do,   
   We know why we do what we do,     
We remember things as they really happened  
  - in other words, our assumption that people are rational  
  - recent brain research tells us unconscious mind controls up to 95% of behavior
relating to the SCARF Model

we need to rethink a few assumptions:  

      - We often don't see what’s before our eyes. We see our concept of what reality should be…
…what we expect to see. (constructions)       
      - our reality illusion is in place  
           - and our experiences will tend to reinforce our initial stance  
      - as we weave those experiences into the story that already exists in our minds   
      -  Rarely pausing to consciously inspect the state & activity of our unconscious mind

We think our models of the world are reality   

with WORK,
education ( as information delivery),
kindergarten
     - consequnce :  don't teach, help discover, explore.
     - relation with constructionist, game storming     

        - contrast

5 constitutive characteristics of play activities:         
  the 5 constitutive characteristics of play activities:      
               freedom (no obligation);  
                   separation (circumscribed in time and space)
;                     non-productive orientation (not geared toward a specific production of goods);
                    rules (includes conventions regarding the suspension of reality);      
               and finally is fictitiousness (entails an awareness of a reality that is different from ordinary life)
     - playing is EFFORTLESS activities   

Roger Caillois : (1913-1978):

your partner listen to you, and still count with finger, and watch his breath …
- say something nice to your partner - how do you feel ? how does he feel ?
say something not nice , but obviously untrue watch the motions,and sensations, your breathing
- say something not nice , but obviously true watch the motions,and sensations, your breathing

try and talk to your partner

- are though popping to "cover" emotions"          
do you sedate them ? follow them ?
how much attention is required by seeing, thinking, breathing, hearing, sensing ?
now move torso, then head and breath - now turn and face your partner,     
look at his torso     
look at his eyes     
how is your breathing ?     
say hi       
how is your breathing ?

reflecting on your emotions passing by          

  - count   
   - spell     
say your name     
- say I     
- watching symbolic info     
-

try and talk still feeling your breath    

- open eyes, close eyes. notice differences on thought attention
count with you fto identify with your thought Practices :
- inger when breathing
- hearing
- what is origin of the next thought ? ( zen koan like)

follow your breathing , and whenever a thought pops, comes back to breathing

- because this is un pleasant to feel fear..what we do not know
:understanding for a more controlled futur..
- we are retributed to explain : gopnik 2000:
satisfaction of explanation triggers hormonal retribution , same as sex ( the ahah moment) ( oxytocyn, gherlin)

try to avoid the unknown:

- classical trick to prevent overflow from emotion:          
-  suppression of emotion ,          
- or distraction from present ( unknown): sedate          
- trigger memory fear = future, past = guilt

suppress or sedate:     

    - Lizard brain : fight flight freeze  
    - Mammal brain emotions memories habits,, tacit or embodied (know-how)         
     - confidence is built on the experience of success    
          - Human brain reasons rationalizes       
  - we buy on emotion and justify with fact        
   - mammal brain makes decisions   
          - human brain rationalizes them
unconscious mind controls 95% of behavior :        
- logic emotions, memories, habits         -

the 3 brains theory:  

We are
what we have done
We are
what we perceived
We perceive
as we learned
Practice the Silence
and see what turns up
Practices
We Perceive along to what we did
We learn by failure
( trial and error)
We succeed when we stop to fail
We are
what we perceive
We learn by
acting
We simplify reality to
perceive it
And memorize the results
Steve made the GUI available to a large public
Alan Invented
the GUI
Based on the Research of
Jerome
Jerome Bruner, Father of
Cognitive Psychology
How Children learn
Enactic (
Action
)

Iconic (
Visual
)
Symbolic
(
Abstract Language
)
(0-1 Y, Muscle memory)
1-6 Y, Visual
7+, Abstraction
Try figure what this means , for a minute

This is the way mathematics were communicated just 2 century ago..
Then a
Symbolic
Representation was invented
Any undergrad learn this
required
elite
mind..
Symbolic

Iconic
Thinking by doing
Thinking by seeing
Thinking with language, reasoning
Symbolic ?
Do you know this guy ?
Or This One ?
Is this One Familiar ?
The Iconic
Steve Jobs
Steve

innovated with the GUI

Invention of the
Graphical User Interface
GUI

Meet Alan Kay,
who invented it
Jerome studied
3 modes of representation:
Formatting a floppy :
Before
and
After
Alan...
CLI
GUI
What is the point ?
We Perceive along to what we did
From the very onset
Lets Explore this ...
IT and
Cognitive Psychology

are intimately related
And this is still valid for the adult...
1979
1970
Palo Alto,
XeroxResearch Center
Innovation ?
A
Personal
Mini computer
Networked Station
Invention of
Object Orientation
Smalltalk (As a dialect of Lisp)
the Mouse
the
GUI
(Xerox built 2000 models for testing, including NASA and white house,
but did not believed in this future)
1966
The mouse is my finger (enaction) , on the "icon" to act on a "symbolic" language
What is the point ?
we learn by
doing
,
we need to
see
to evaluate results
Do you see
Any Connection ?
Jerome
Bruner
Alan
Kay
Steve
Jobs
Could read fluently by the age of 3
Had Read 150 books when he hit first grade at school
"The Best way to predict the future
is to invent it"
"So when I hit first grade, I already knew my teachers were lying to me"
...
Jerome Bruner, Father of
Cognitive Psychology
How do we Think ?
Learn

?
Feel?
"Children do not learn from the words
( of the teacher)
But by experiencing on the environment"
Constructs
are the different type of filters we choose to put on our realities to turn
chaos
into
order
Constructivists
: John Dewey (1859-1952), Maria Montessori (1870-1952), Jean Piaget (1896-1980)...
Jerome Bruner(1915)
Sounds Familiar ?
Agile maybe ?
Experience
over Theory ? hmm...
Enactic (
Action
)

Iconic (
Visual
)
Symbolic
(
Abstract Language
)
Sounds Familiar ?
Agile maybe ?

we build
theory

afterwards
to explain with concepts, words, language
...
we iterate: short
feedback
loops
Experience : pick a glass with open eyes, now with closed eyes, then closed eyes with a glove

Easier ?
The 3 brains
theory :

Lizard (
Reptile
) brain
Mammal brain
Human brain

Lizard brain
flight
freeze
fight
3 options only
 fight flight freeze  
 emotions,memories,habits, tacit or embodied (know-how) , confidence is built on the experience of success    
 reasons rationalizes , know -w hy, look for cause and effects      
 

Mammal brain
emotions
memories
habits
emotions
tacit or embodied (know-how)
confidence is built on the experience of success
Confidence is built on the experience of success
When we
leap to a decision
, or have a hunch, our
unconscious
is .. sifting throught the situation in front of us, throwing out all that is irrelevant while we
zero in
on what really matters
(Malcom Gladwell,Blink)
we make sense of the world throught stories
stories is the emotional experience
Human brain
explicit or theoretical
know-why
look for
cause and effects
reasons
rationalizes
Became prized at the age of enlightenment,
300 Y ago.
Now , get ready for a shock ..
the behavior part that comes from
rational
and
non rational
was
measured
...
to
5
% ...

What makes us proud to be human ...
what we identify with when we say

'I'
...
is
5
% ...

We act on emotion and justify with facts, afterward
       
 Mammal brain makes decisions   
          - human brain rationalizes them
.

Unconscious mind controls
95%
of behavior .  
      

The 3 brains
theory :

Lizard (
Reptile
) brain
Mammal brain
Human brain

 fight flight freeze  
 emotions,memories,habits, (know-how) , confidence is built on the experience of success    
 reasons rationalizes , know -why, look for cause and effects      
 

We act on emotion and justify with facts,
afterwards
       
 Mammal brain makes decisions   
          Human brain
rationalizes
them
.

Unconscious mind controls
95%
of behavior .  
      

    the assumptions being :   
   Our model of the world is reality,   
   We are aware of what we do,   
   We know why we do what we do,     
We remember things as they really happened  
  - in other words, our assumption that people are rational  
  - recent brain research tells us unconscious mind controls up to 95% of behavior
relating to the SCARF Model

we need to rethink a few assumptions:  

What is the point ?
...
    The assumptions being :   
   Our model of the world is reality,   
   We are
aware
of what we do,   
   We know
why
we do what we do,     
We
remember
things as they really happened  

We need to ReThink

a few assumptions
we iterate: short
feedback
loops
We often don't see what’s before our eyes.
We see our
concept
of what reality
should
be…
what we
expect
to see.   
    

We think our
models
of the world are
reality
  
We make sense of the world through
stories

We weave those experiences into the
story
that already exists in our minds   
Rarely pausing to
consciously inspect
the state & activity of our unconscious mind  

Our
illusion
of reality is in place  
           and our experiences
will tend to
reinforce
our initial stance  
     
Stories are the
emotional
experience
Constructs= filters
we will tend to reinforce more and more what we already know 

Why that ?
(specialization ?)
(closing down to the world ?)
- the knowledge worker ( systems design, product design )     
- spent most of its time thinking about a yet unexisting  futur,     
- which is uncertain and changing ,     
- out of his personal influence realm…

now wait a minute:

Vulnerable   

   - when you are 2 : cool, I want more: playing     
- when you are 20 … hmm    
  - when you are 40 : scary

- how do you feel when you do something for the first time, ever.   

Experience :  difference Emotions, feeling vs sensation: -    
  put a finger in hot water : where of the feel the sensation ?
the emotion beforehand ? emotions when facing the unknown:     

Part 1 Bis :this is about what we know. what about when we don't ?:

- because this is un pleasant to feel fear..what we do not know
:understanding for a more controlled futur..
- we are retributed to explain : gopnik 2000:
satisfaction of explanation triggers hormonal retribution , same as sex ( the ahah moment) ( oxytocyn, gherlin)

try to avoid the unknown:

- classical trick to prevent overflow from emotion:          
-  suppression of emotion ,          
- or distraction from present ( unknown): sedate          
- trigger memory fear = future, past = guilt

suppress or sedate:     

How do we feel when
we do
not
know ?
How do you feel when you do
not
know ?
How do you
feel
when
you do something for the
first
time
, ever. ?  

I am 2
: Cool !.. Lets play..lets try this ...
I am
30
and my boss asked me
to do something I
never
did before ..
I am
50
and I should try something for the
first
Time ...
I am
80
, and they bought me a
WII
...
emotional risk    
uncertainty     
exposure  
Vulnerability
is not

Weakness
    

Birthplace of
innovation
,
creativity
,
courage
..
It depends it you are 2, 20 , 40 , 80...
I want more
When I do
not

know, I feel
Culturally learned archetypes:          
male : don't be perceived as weak          
female: do everything perfectly
Vulnerability
relates to

Shame
  

What is the point ?
...
I experiment
vulnerability
I feel
fear
..
shame
...

When in a situation where
I do
not
know,

We try to
predict
, model the
perceived
reality
    

Understanding
for a more controlled futur  
We are
retributed
to do this:
Ghrelin

     
The mind is a tool to
know
.
it is
helpless
facing the
unknown
, ...
we could use some strategies to
suppress
or
sedate
the emotions (we do not like)

Why that ?
(specialization ?)
(closing down to the world ?)
How do we feel when we do not know ?
This is unpleasant
Should I flee, freeze or fight ?
Fight
:
Flee
: Avoid the unknown
this is the real aging...
Scary ! I love this !
Freeze
: Pretend it does not matter, affect me...
Compares explanation to
orgasm



Gopnik 2000
the Satisfaction of
explanation
Evolutionary incentive to engage in
theory formation
as orgasm
(is an incentive)
to reproduction
( the ahah moment ) - > ( oxytocyn, ghrelin)
we experiment
vulnerability
we feel
fear
..
shame
...

When in a situation where
we do not know,

This is unpleasant
Should I Flee, freeze or fight ?
Flee
: Avoid the unknown
Freeze
: pretend it does not matter, affect me...
Fight
: Understanding - > retributed positively ( oxytocyn, ghrelin)
Hm, a quick shot of ahah..... hmmmm.. I'll take this one...
Fight ...
http://www.ted.com/talks/alison_gopnik_what_do_babies_think.html
always good to mention sex to capture attention :-)
this is unpleasant
emotion
, cant we do something about it ?
hm, I dont know yet
.. Let me tell you a
story
instead..
well, either I try and explain this (
fight
), or I
pretend
this is not a problem , or that it does not exists (
freeze
), or maybe we stay out of this..(
flee
)
.
Something I do not know ?...
alcohol, drugs ( prescribed or not), sex
distract the mind with other thoughts
raise other stronger emotions ( anger)
memory triggers: future=
fear
, past =
guilt

Unfortunately, I face a chicken and egg problem here...
if I cannot
stand
anything
unknown
(
or different of what I already know
)
I will no be able to learn anything
new
about the
world
, or about
me
or
us
mammal me !
emotion
Jerome was a constructivist
Well, then I have to
go and see
...
...This part of
me
that does not
think
but which is the
95 %
of
"me"
Wait a minute,
HOW
?

If this part does not think, how may I investigate ?
What will I find ?
emotions
manifesting as (bodily) sensations
sometimes triggering thoughts
Most of the time
we are used to be focused on the
thoughts
thoughts
that are
believed
are retained
the other
thoughts
are not even conscious , most of the time
we do not even feel the
sensations
, or
emotions
that triggered them
This can be learned...
You are not your thoughts
thoughts comes and go
you stay...
you are the
one
that sees the thought
(resistances)
The
IT Professional
faces this challenge every day
Thinks,
(how a system could be)
in the future
Faces all day long things he could not predict, or was not expecting
(bugs, management interruption, prod issues)
And have no full control to fix them
triggers fear
triggers unpredictability
triggers helplessness
these are emotions, and no process will fix them...
For the online viewer:
This is a introduction on the topic of "cognitive science", or "neuroscience"
applied for the
IT Professional
as I was progressively discovering this field, I realized it was so related to our daily challenges, and at the same time, so ignored...
I focused this presentation on one practical topic,
Listening
..
and this was explaining and founding so many rites in
agile
I wanted to share this ...


Is understanding important in life ? is listening important for understanding ? can you listen (anybody), still, with empathy, or do you sometimes have difficulty to listen somebody with a different opinion ? does it sometimes raises (conflicting) emotions ? what is the strategy then ? do you feel compelled to speak and cut the speaker, or violently control and suppress this voice in your head ? But then, when is this voice coming again and again to haunt you, with great creative ideas , can you listen to it , fully ?

The Sound Of Silence


Goal of the session: Be able to receive and welcome in a discussion, In a peaceful and joyful manner; Be able to listen and accept oneself, truly; welcome each other differences. welcome one's uniqueness. useful in professional relations, private and loving relationship, and with oneself.
The sound of silence is a series of practical techniques to listen to each other, with a clear mind and an open heart, and listen to oneself, truly.
I recommend auto play 10s, and use the back arrow when too fast. expect 16mn
feedback welcomed: @luctaesch
Where is you attention ? ( a- tension)


try and stop breathing : how long could you resist ?


Empty Mind

It is more than just restricting the body,


Meditation is a (
learned
) skill:

or sedating attention with the mind, or following it un-consciously ( i.e. following random thoughts)
learn to
do
"
nothing
"
try and stop thinking : how long could you resist ?
Thought ?
Bodily Sensation ?
Past ? Future ? Present ?
Try and listen to your breathing
We Are
What we Know
Silence
Listening
We do not feel
ok
when facing
the unknown
How
could we Learn
anything
new
?

Discover
in
Innovate
Lets avoid this...
This is embarrassing
the so called "gut feeling"
the so called "intuition" or "depression" or "compulsive obsession"
This can be learned...
In School, You were taught for 12 years
In fact , you knew already
watch some thoughts, and ignore the rest ( attention and discipline)
work by yourself in isolation
Now, you just have to unlearn this. welcome back
.
Put yourself in a position where the body or the exterior world needs no intervention, and see what turns up...
Welcome what is there , already...
Urge to move ?
Emotion ?
Resisting it ?
This view of the world
(objectivism = there is an objective world out there, that exists independently of me)
is useful to the physicist, describing forces and particles interaction...
But not for Human Interaction...
This is what I was taught in school, which grounded my beliefs, and I have to
unlearn
it now to work with my fellow colleagues...
What is the point ?
...
Why that ?
(closing down to the world ?)
How do we feel when we do not know ?
What is the point ?
...
  When facing the
unknown
, we feel
vulnerable
 we developped
explaining
as a way to fight uncertainity, and its emotions   
  explaining make us feel good ( homonally ) instead of leaving fear out in the open   
   

When we know what we face

we feel
ok
Either we try to explain, and we link some cause and some effects into stories
    

We have developped strategies to cope
with the unpleasant unknowingness  
We make sense of the world through
stories

We weave those experiences into the
story
that already exists in our minds   
Rarely pausing to
consciously inspect
the state & activity of our unconscious mind  

Or we could pretend there is no problem
(crisis ? which crisis ?)
(deny)
     
Stories are the
emotional
experience
we will tend to reinforce more and more what we already know 

Why that ?
(specialization ?)
(closing down to the world ?)
How do we feel when
we do
not
know ?
this is the real aging...
There is no objective world,
but the one I perceive
, and this is the same for the human with who I am discussing with (and he has a different perception, because of a different life experience)
And even if it exists, it is not relevant because I cannot perceive it as such...
Or we could try and hide these peksy emotions
(with other emotions, or other catching thoughts)
Or we could try and avoid these places where
related to
communication
, innovation
Session Teaser
Information
Technology
Lets Focus on the
I
...
You ...
Forget
Technology
for a moment ..
solution
get familiar with this (yet) unconsious part
know yourself
see resistance
see thought
see you are not your thought
welcome the underlying emotion
the sensation
interpersonal communication

co-laboration aka work

co-creation in IT


lets picture a few communication case
Problem statement
we spend our adult life
in our (own) thought
we are not aware of this
unless feelings burst
or take over
usually called
anger or crisis
or are suppressed
helplessness
depression
we are limited to what
(our) thought can do
we tend to stay
in our comfort zone
it is taken for granted
and is usually called aging
we become risk adverse
or resistant to novelty, change, adaptation
this is re inforcred
by thinking more
usually called
specialization, preferences..
dont mention innovation
( because this is a culture thing)
everybody does it,
has the same belief

- how much attention is required by seeing, thinking, breathing, hearing, sensing ?


- advanced :
     - watch the space between objects
     - watch the space between thoughts

Meditation is a (learned) skill: learn to do "nothing" (
- more than just restricting the body,
- or sedating attention with the mind, of following it un-consciously
- learn the empty mind
- learn not to identify with your thought


enaction

- now move torso, then head and breath

What it is not
How to experiment
feedback loop

difference Emotions, feeling vs sensation:
-      put a finger in hot water : where of the feel the sensation ? the emotion beforehand ?

what it is not

Practices :
- try and stop breathing : how long
- try and stop thinking : how long

effortless

- where is you attention ?
( a- tension)

see resistance


saying no to what already is

mixing being, enaction, visualisation, symbolic

human interaction

- say something nice to your partner
- how do you feel ? how does he feel ?

- say something not nice , but obviously untrue

- try and talk to your partner
- your partner listen to you, and still count with finger, and watch his breath …

- now turn and face your partner,
     - look at his torso
     - look at his eyes
     - how is your breathing ?
     - say hi
       - how is your breathing ?

- try and talk still feeling your breath
     - count
     - spell
     - say your name
     - say I
     - watching symbolic info
     - reflecting on your emotions passing by
          - are though popping to "cover" emotions"
          - do you sedate them ? follow them ?

- follow your breathing , and whenever a thought pops, comes back to breathing
- open eyes, close eyes. notice differences on thought attention
- count with you finger when breathing

Meditation
Effortless
See
Resistance

Welcoming
See
Thoughts

Meditation ?
. . .
Meditation is a (learned) skill
: learn to do "
nothing
"
Sound a joke?
I bet you cannot do it ...

more than just restricting the body,
or sedating attention with the mind,
or following it un-consciously

learn not to identify with your bodily sensations
learn not to identify with your thoughts
What it is not.
Effortless
See Resistances
See Thoughts
Welcoming
Try and stop breathing
How long can you last ?
Is it sustainable ?
Focus on your breathing and note how you feel.

Do you have any thoughts passing by ?
Try and stop thinking
How long can you last ?
Is it sustainable ?
Focus on your breathing and note how you feel.

Do you have any emotions/ bodily sensations passing by ?
You cannot stop breathing.
You can interfere
You cannot stop thinking
When you do not
focus
, is breathing
always
in the fore front ?
When you do not
focus
, is thinking
always
in the fore front ?
You can interfere
is not relaxation,
is not stopping to think,
reaching a blank mind state,
having fancy altered states of consciousness
etc..
It is about seeing the
thoughts
, the
emotions
, the bodily
sensations
, the
perceptions
, and
not

interfering
...
Meditation
Is your heart beating ? Can you
feel
your heart beating ?
Focus on your heartbeat and note how you feel.

Do you have any thoughts passing by ?
When you do not
focus
, is heartbeat
always
in the fore front ?
You cannot stop your heart.
You cannot interfere
It Beats
It Breath or I breath ?
It Thinks or I Think ?
,
getting free from conditioning
Kids Play..
This is effortless
even if it requires a lot of energy...
and makes you tired
This is effortless
Scary ! I love this !
Is it effortless at work ?
when you play ?
Scary ! I love this ?
How much attention is required by seeing, thinking, breathing, hearing, sensing ?




Effortless


follow your breathing , and whenever a thought pops, comes back to breathing


thoughts are sounds
be the silence that that welcome them
with open eyes, with closed eyes.

notice the differences on thought attention

count with your finger when breathing ( no sounds in the head?)
where is your a-tension ?
Being is
Effortless
Emotions, feeling vs sensation, sensing:


put a finger in water : where do you feel the sensation ? the emotion ?beforehand ? afterward ?
An
emotion
is a thought
superimposed
over a
sensation
When a thought says
no
or an emotion is raised
we experiment a
Resistance

very often , they are sub-conscious
construct
brunner:symbolic
limbic system , reptible brain: freeze
self-inquiry
mammal brain: emotions
rational behavior: 5%
vulnerability
( and conflict with others)
We detect
Resistance

thanks to the generated
emotions
most of the time, they recede in the
background
unless
urgent

or
unbearable
Relax and focus on your breath
At some point,
a
Resistance
will manifest ...
like a bodily sensation
Sense the tummy
inflating
and
deflating
calling for immediate action
or a thought

Take note, and
return to the sensing of the breathing
scratch my nose, move my position...
wandering about the future
or the past
Or Accept to be distracted...
The Resistance has "
won
" then ...
by doing "no-thing", attention is free to see them ...
Dont get trapped ... "winning" over resistance is
... Resisting
the resistance :-).
Just take note.. don't Interfere..
outside the
now
..
A Quick Note on the Vocabulary used :
Me, the Being, I experience 3 "things"
The
World
"out there"
throught perceptions
(Seeing, Hearing, Smelling, Tasting, Touching)
Bodily
Sensation
"in there"
we use "sensing"
Thoughts
We will see that "
emotions
" are bodily
sensations
and
thoughts
superimposed
we would keep "
feelings
" when referring to emotions
we use "
see
" or "
listen
" to your thoughts (metaphor)
What it is not.
Effortless
See Resistances
See Thoughts
Welcoming
What it is not.
Effortless
See Resistances
See Thoughts
Welcoming
What it is not.
Effortless
See Resistances
See Thoughts
Welcoming
You are
Resisting
to what
already

is
...
this is upside down ...
See what happenned
you are here, doing nothing... but breathing and seeing it..
the world is no doing anything at you, nor you at him... there was no external stimulus...
and an emotion araised,
and you did not liked it
so you resisted it
or a thought popped up
and you got trapped in it...
or you did not liked it, and resisted it ...
The given emotion was
already
there,
it just was not
welcomed
already
every time it popped up
it was
resisted
, and sent back
so every now and then, it surface again from deep there, stuborn...
and is send back, most probably...
because it is not welcomed, for whatever reason
Sending it back add a bit of noise to the background noise in there
and it grows...
on the top of the original emotion, now you add the emotion of the Resistance...
after 20, 30 years of resistance, at 20 to 60 emotions or thought a second, it start to add... getting noisy over there ...
But now this occurred in full conscioucness...
so now you have one more option ...
welcoming it
or keep on resisting
Why ?
the mind may wonder why it was not welcomed..
or what could be done to change this, etc...
or imagine stories about it...
but it is simple..
it could not be
welcomed
at the time it popped,
so it was
resisted
...
Thoughts...
an
emotion
is just a
sensation
with a
thought
superimposed
some thoughts are like "I like it", or " I do not like it", " this is good", "this is not good", I want more, I want less, etc...
call them "
judgements
"
the
sensation
is
just a bodily sensation
, with no value attached
e.g. "this is hot"
but the
thought
adds the value
Most of the time it is too quick for us to really see the thought , unless...we pay attention
Also some emotions are not
resisted
, like " this beer is good "... ( sensations+ judgement thought)
But " I do not like this beer", and " I cannot refuse it as
I fear
he may be offended"
may create a
Resistance
because of the conflict,
It is not useful to see the
thoughts
, or try and "explain" or "solve" them
Just
stay in contact
with the
sensation
even if your "habit" may be to get out of it
stay
, and after a while, the emotions vanish, and just the sensation stays... or vanish too..
it may requires several attempts at the beginning, and for the "old stuff"
sometimes, just after, or a few hours later, or the next day, a thought may pop up with the explanation or the context, .. or not . but this just on top
"this is not good, It may hurt me... "
i.e. the basic life strategy is :
rephrased in modern terms as " the pursuit of happiness" (American declaration of independence "every human is entitled to the rights of Life, Liberty and ..." )
finally, the
Resisted
sensation is welcomed
Resistance is futile... it is already here ...in you ...part of you . this is self deyning...
more pleasure,
less suffering
e.g Happiness
You are
Resisting
to what
already

is
...
this is upside down ...

now move torso, then head and breath

How to experiment


- say something nice to your partner
- how do you feel ? how does he feel ?

- say something not nice , but obviously untrue
- try and talk to your partner
- your partner listen to you, and still count with finger, and watch his breath …

     - look at his torso
     - look at his eyes
     - how is your breathing ?
     - say hi
       - how is your breathing ?
try and talk still sensing your breath
count
 spell
say your name
say I
watching concrete information
watching abstract information
  reflecting on your emotions passing by
          - are though popping to "cover" emotions"
          - do you sedate them ? follow them ?
Sense your breathing
with a partner
See what turns up and welcome it
there is no success or failure, just welcoming... what already is..
Meditation ?
. . .
Meditation is a (learned) skill
: learn to do "
nothing
"
This is Backlog Grooming
learn not to identify with your bodily sensations
learn not to identify with your thoughts
Thoughts
are just sounds
You can believe a
thought
, or not
You are not the thoughts, but the
One
who see them
You are the silence that welcome the sounds
See what already is ...

And Welcome it...
When you listen to
your-self
When you listen to
some-one
Be the silence that welcome any sounds
Be the silence that welcome any sounds
Interpersonal Communication
may look like this
collaboration a.k.a
Building something concrete
is hard, but visible, and could be rewarding
we see what is done, and what the other is doing
We would like collaboration in IT to be like this
but in reality, it may well look like this
because what we do is immaterial ( cannot be seen, touched)
and this is more co-creation than co-laboration
i.e. we do not really know what we will do, before we do it.
because every time we build a prototype
with other peoples
You are not the thoughts, but the
One
who see them
thoughts comes and go, and you stay
Thoughts...
Full transcript