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COM 135 | Chapter 2: Interpersonal Communication and Self

For GRCC Interpersonal Communication class.

Derek DeVries

on 27 August 2012

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Transcript of COM 135 | Chapter 2: Interpersonal Communication and Self

Ch. 2: Interpersonal Communication and Self Self-Concept who you think you are Sum total of what a person is Self SUBJECTIVE self-description Self-Concept Attitude Belief Value learned predisposition to respond to person/object/idea in an un/favorable way. way in which you structure understanding of reality; what is true/false enduring concepts of good/bad, right/wrong How are we made self-aware? 3 ways: 1. Subjective Self-Awareness: ability to differentiate oneself from one's environment 2. Objective Self-Awareness: ability to be object of our own thoughts / attention 3. Symbolic Self-Awareness: ability to use language (symbols) to represent self to others Stages (4): 1: Unconscious Incompetence 2. Conscious Incompetence 3. Conscious Competence 4. Unconscious Competence of our use of symbols (language) Selves (3): William James 1. Material Self 3. Spiritual Self 2. Social Self tangible things you own (possessions, home, body) the part of you that interacts with others internal thoughts & introspection about values, moral standards & beliefs How
Self-Concept Develops see ourselves reflected in how we interact with others "looking glass self" concept that we learn who we are based on interactions w/ others who reflect our selves back to us more likely to believe statements if they are something we have heard repeated before more likely to value someone's statements if we believe them to be credible more likely to include comments in self-concept if consistent w/ experience Attachment Style developed from one or both of parents Secure comfortable giving / receiving affection, intimacy and trusting others Anxious uncomfortable w/ giving / receiving affection and w/ intimacy Avoidant chronic discomfort / awkwardness w/ intimacy Group
Association religious, political, ethnic, socioeconomic, professional, occupational, social ... [important for out-groups: those marginal to dominant culture] Q: What are some groups currently marginal to the dominant culture? ROLES influenced heavily by gender Androgynous Roles larger repertoire of actions / behaviors b/c they allow for both masculine and feminine Self-Labels Self-Reflexiveness ability to think about what we're doing as we do it Personality enduring internal predispositions / characteristics that describes how ppl react to their environment Communibiological Approach Q: What is it? Communibiological Approach Q: What are examples of how it might affect personality? Shyness Tendency to avoid interacting with other ppl Communication Apprehension Fear / anxiety w real or anticipated communication Willingness to Communicate How our Self-Concept Develops Self-Esteem evaluation of your worth or value based on perception of: SKILLS, talents, abilities & appearance Social Comparison Life Position (Berne) I'm OK, You're OK I'm OK, You're not OK I'm Not OK, You're OK I'm not OK,
You're not OK Facework (Goffman) Face person's positive perception of him/herself in interactions w/ others Facework using communication to maintain positive perception (of you or others) Attitudes,
Values Preventative Facework efforts to maintain / enhanceyour positive self-perceptions Corrective Facework efforts to correct what one perceives as a negative perception by others Corrective Facework efforts to correct what one perceives as a negative perception by others Your Face Others Faces Corrective Facework efforts to correct what one perceives as a negative perception by others Face-Threatening Acts when we communicate in a way that threatens someone's positive face Politeness Theory suggests that politeness works - we tend to give benefit of the doubt to those who are polite Improving Self-Esteem (Intrapersonal Communication) Self-Talk imagining you are performing a task a certain way Visualization redefining events and experience sfrom different point of view Reframing 1. Self-Talk 2. Visualize 3. Avoid
Comparisons 4. Reframe 5. Honest
Relationships 6. Let go of the Past 7. Seek Support technique where professional listens to emotions / issues creating problems Talk Therapy Self and Interpersonal Relationships Symbolic Interaction Theory we make sense of world by interacting w/ others through symbols S.I. Theory "I" - our perspective
"Me" - others' perspectives George Mead Self and Future Actions that come true b/c you believe they will Self-Fulfilling
Prophecy Self and Intepersonal Needs (3) Inclusion Control Affection include / be included in social activities need for domination (& need to be dominated) in relationships need for love, warmth, support & intimacy Self and Disclosure Disclosure when we purposefully provide info to others they would not learn w/out us telling them Social Penetration Model Social Penetration Model reflects 1) breadth and 2) depth of disclosure Activity: How Might You Depict These Relationships? 1) Doctor
2) Best Friend
3) Parent
4) Personal Assistant
5) Starbucks Barista Johari Window movement of info about you from Blind and Unknown to Hidden / Open Self-Awareness conscious understanding of who you are info others know about you that you know yourself Info others know about you that you do not know Info you know about yourself that others do not know info not know either to you or to others Self and Communication Style Communication Social Style identifiable way in which we habitually communicate w/ others Two Primary Ways to Frame how we Interact With Others 1. Assertiveness tendency to make requests, ask for info, & pursue own rights and interests 2. Responsiveness tendency to be sensitive t needs of others, be sympathetic to feelings & putting others b/fo self Split into groups of 4-5 and ask each other the following questions:

1) would you rather be popular, honorable or wealthy?
2) How do values affect communication behaviors?
3) How might you communicate based on each quality? How might you be perceived?
How might it color your outlook/perceptions? Activity: 1) What TV shows, movies, advertisements, literature or significant people have contributed to your values/identity? (ie who do you learn what to like/be like from?)

2) The transactional communication model would suggest that we have choice in what values are communicated to us – what does it say about the ones we select? Activity: What values do these commercials communicate to children? Activity: Activity: Draw a symbol that represents you (and be prepared to explain why). TED Talk - Sadhguru Fight Club - Material Self A Conversation With My 12-Year-Old Self Teen Truth - Body Image [UNHEALTHY] The Newsroom - Will & Therapist Impact of low self-esteem on how you interpret messages
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